An open letter to liberal feminists: girls don’t have it any worse than boys

Dear Liberal Feminists,

A couple of days ago I wrote about a new feminist campaign called “Ban Bossy.” I won’t rehash the topic, but if you somehow missed out on the latest Outrage Du Jour, allow me to sum it up thusly: some female celebrities and feminist business moguls have come together to invent another petty reason to feel offended and persecuted. This time, they’ve decided that the word “bossy” is sexist.

I dedicated about 1,700 words to picking this silliness apart, which is probably about 1,700 words too many. I think, at this point, an exaggerated eye-roll and a loud yawn is all this sort of unbearable politically-correct sophistry deserves.

Yet, from this concocted controversy, a real and urgent issue has revealed itself.

You see, my Ban Bossy post was met with a myriad of comments from feminist women who claimed that, starting from a young age, girls are discouraged from being assertive and opinionated, while boys are lauded and praised for displaying those characteristics.

As the ladies behind Ban Bossy wrote:

“We expect boys to be assertive and confident, while we expect girls to be kind and nurturing. We encourage boys to lead and reward them when they do. When girls lead, however, we disapprove—and our language communicates that disapproval clearly.”

Here we arrive at the encapsulation of nearly everything that is wrong with your movement, liberal feminists:

First, the ugly insinuation that there’s something wrong with expecting girls to be “kind” and “nurturing.” A thousand pages could be written — and probably have been written — on that chilling aspect alone.

Second, there’s what has quickly become the absolute worst thing about liberal feminism (next to your unquenchable enthusiasm for infanticide): the complete dismissal and denial of the unique struggles of modern boys and men.

You intentionally steer the conversation away from the trials and tribulations of the other gender, in order to exaggerate, or entirely fabricate, misogyny and sexism. You nail yourselves to a cross that you’ve carved and built yourselves, and demand that all the attention be given to your own perceived persecutions.

Concentrating for the moment on children, there is no doubt that girls face profound obstacles. Unfortunately, you aren’t apparently interested in attacking the institutions that do the greatest damage to these innocent girls.

If you sincerely intended to be warriors for femininity and champions of female empowerment, you’d dedicate almost all of your considerable resources to attacking our culture’s Unholy Trinity of Misogyny and Exploitation: pornography, Hollywood, and the abortion industry.

If you had the courage of your own convictions, you’d wage your feminist crusade against these institutions. Instead, you throw a party and make them your honored guests.

Meanwhile, as you regurgitate useless “War on Women” rhetoric for the billionth time, boys continue to languish and deteriorate in silence. Their distress is ignored because you simply can’t figure out how to work it into your “male privilege” narrative.

Inconvenient though it might be, liberal feminists, I’d like to discuss the reality.

Here it is:

Boys — particularly boys in public school — are most assuredly NOT encouraged to be opinionated, assertive, loud, boisterous, or confident. Do you know what happens to boys like that?

We punish them.

We label them.

We medicate them.

Their opinions and their personalities aren’t just discouraged — they’re chemically obliterated.

According to the CDC, more than 20 percent of 14-year-old boys have been diagnosed with ADHD at some point in their lifetime. Twenty percent.

Boys are 125 percent more likely to be stuck with the ADHD label than girls, and 127 percent more likely to be medicated for it.

I suppose we can chalk this up to a mental disorder that mysteriously discriminates based on sex, or we could contemplate the possibility that we have turned boyhood into a disease. Overall, young males are almost twice as likely to be deemed “learning disabled.” Could boys really be this inherently flawed, or is the system itself flawed?

Whether or not a boy manages to exhibit the “correct” personality traits and narrowly avoid a psychiatric diagnosis, he has a much greater chance of being expelled or suspended from school. In fact, boys make up about 70 percent of the suspensions from grades K – 12. They’re also five times more likely to be expelled from pre-school.

And it’s not just that young males tend to “misbehave” more; it’s that we’ve defined “misbehavior” in a way that unfairly targets them. The news is rife with stories of kids suspended or expelled or arrested for making a pretend gun with their fingers, or a Poptart, or a keychain, or a pencil.

These are healthy and normal games of imagination and fantasy — games that boys, not girls, usually play — and we’ve literally made a criminal matter out of it.

Boys are frequently kicked out of school and sent hurtling on a path towards delinquency and failure, even for minor instances of physical aggression. Does it make sense to treat a kid like a dangerous psychopath just because he got into a minor shoving match or — horror of horrors — a fist fight? This is how boys often express their aggression. Girls express it in more damaging and traumatizing ways. They spread gossip and rumors, they shun and ostracize other girls, and these acts can reverberate through a child’s life much further and deeper than getting pushed into a locker or punched in the nose.

But typical male aggression leads to expulsion, while typical female aggression usually leads to, at most, a stern lecture from the guidance counselor. To make matters worse, we’ve banned and outlawed the healthier outlets for a boy’s energy and rambunctiousness. Schools have increasingly prohibited tag, and kickball, and dodgeball , and football.

Of course, the plight of the American male is far more serious and tragic than a ruined recess.

Feeling abandoned, angry, hateful, and confused, guys are about 4 times more likely to kill themselves than girls. It’s true that females attempt suicide at a higher rate, but males are at an exponentially greater risk of completing the horrible deed.

And the story doesn’t end there. While (if) these boys grow into men, it is much more probable that they will become alcoholics and drug addicts.

Everyone knows that men are infinitely more likely to go to prison, but did you know they even receive longer sentences for the same crimes? Indeed, women convicted on the same charges are twice as likely to avoid incarceration altogether.

Is this what you call “male privilege”?

Privileged to be drugged as a child, expelled from school as a teenager, and incarcerated as an adult? Privileged to bad grades, a psychiatric diagnosis, and an early death?

Sure, you can argue your case by throwing around the same old misleading statistics. How much money does a woman make for every dollar a man makes? Is it 77 now? 81? It doesn’t matter. Better question: how did you arrive at that figure.

Wait, do you even know how you arrived at that figure?

Here, I’ll help. You came up with that number by taking all men who work over 35 hours a week in any industry, at any experience level, in any region of the country, with any skillset, and you’ve compared them to all women who work over 35 hours a week in any industry, at any experience level, in any region of the country, with any skillset. For instance, you’ve matched the income of a hairstylist at Great Clips in Nebraska against the salary of a brain surgeon at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore.

In other words, you’ve come up with a statistic that means nothing.

You can tell me about the scarcity of female CEOs, but I wonder: have you even asked other women if they want to be CEOs? Pew has, and they found that a majority of females have chosen — emphasis on CHOSEN — family over business aspirations.

Women also tend to choose — again with the CHOOSE — careers that pay less and have fewer opportunities for “upward mobility.”

Women still face incredible challenges, but the worst of it comes from a culture that mocks virtue, attacks the institution of the family, and encourages materialism and hedonism at the expense of faith and chastity.

Liberal feminists, you are not fighting this culture. You are fostering it.

And, as we speak, this same society victimizes boys in the most insidious ways, all while you distract us from their plight by focusing the discussion on some frivolous, fabricated slight against you.

These boys — told for years that they are troublemakers and nuisances, broken, disordered and diseased — will eventually become young men; young men, emasculated and confused by a culture that preys upon their weaknesses and makes them feel ashamed of their strengths.

One day, they will wish to marry. They’ll seek a kind and nurturing woman, a woman who values children and family, and in you’ll swoop with the fury of a thousand Gloria Steinems. You’ll tell them that they are evil for wanting a woman like that, just as you scold and condemn the women who are like that.

You’ll tell both parties to reject what is natural and healthy, and instead pursue your unattainable, dystopian, conflicted, ever-changing ideal.

And, as the divorce rate climbs, as more babies are killed in the clinics, more boys drugged in our schools, more girls exploited and objectified by the media, you’ll take responsibility for none of it.

It’s all the fault of the system, you’ll say.

And you’ll be right.

Except for one thing: you’re part of the system now.

You’re part of the problem.

And you have been for a long time.

Here’s the good news: if you want equality under the law, you have it. You’re done. You can legally do everything a man can do. Welcome to modernity, thanks for coming.

The bad news is that we still do not live in a perfect society, and we never will. There are still people who need helping, flags that need hoisting, and battles that need fighting. Unfortunately, you’re often on the wrong side of these efforts.

But there’s still time to change.

I hope you do.

We could use your help.

 

********

Find me on Facebook.

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1,170 Responses to An open letter to liberal feminists: girls don’t have it any worse than boys

  1. Aleks Yevt says:

    Oh look, yet another white man define feminism for me. That’s just what I needed.

    • Susan says:

      Well, I am NOT a white male and I along with women of every race agree with him that YOU FEMINISTS ARE POISON to women, men, children and the culture. Additionally, Matt didn’t define anything he merely reported on the obvious.

      • Yes he did, he said if we really had the strength of convictions we’d attack Hollywood (because no feminist ever does that, ever, in his world) and be anti-abortion, instead of considering that maybe we know best what we want to campaign on and we’ll decide for ourselves, thanks.

        • Kyle says:

          his point was that, if you had convitions you would attack cultural institutions, not men. That was the point. Although I don’t agree with him that porn, or hollywood, or abortions are a problem..

      • k23mt says:

        I’m hungry, make me a sandwich.

    • no definitions of anything is needed. All that is needed is to report that almost everything modern feminists stand for and do destroys our country, our culture, and our humanity. You stopped fighting against things a long time ago, now all you do is destroy everything that was ever good or decent in the world.

    • zzzzzzz says:

      Love this – modern feminism has no problem whatsoever telling a male to ‘man up’ when he impregnates a woman who now has 100% control over his destiny thanks to the unequal parental and reproductive rights they’ve worked to establish. They will tell you that ‘men can stop rape’ and that masculinity is a disease caused by the toxic chemical testosterone. Feminists run sites like goodmanproject.com and will hold protests and pull fire alarms when men try to establish a safe space to discuss their issues.

      But men aren’t allowed word-one about the destructive outcomes of feminism on society, male-female relationships, children, boys, men, fathers, families, or western culture.

      Another great example of feminism’s skewed version of “equality”.

      • donloper1 says:

        How can we trust a creature who bleeds 7 days and does not die ? (sarcasm)

      • Elizabeth says:

        @ zzzzzzz

        I’m loving all of your posts.

      • Men can stop rape. By not raping people.

        • JSantorelli says:

          Women can stop financially and emotionally raping men too, but you don’t hear organized efforts about that do you? Guess what? An overwhelming majority of women will never be raped and your underreporting stats were made up by a feminist magazine. Get over it! Men don’t want women the way you think. That’s what you tell yourselves to make yourselves feel better. Coming from a straight guy, a womanfree would be as heaven-like as one where women stayed on their half never to interact with men.

        • k23mt says:

          Lol…..an “overwhelming” number of women will never be raped…..yes, we should feel overwhelmed by that…..not just expect women to not be raped.

        • Eva says:

          @JSantorelli “An overwhelming majority of women will never be raped and your underreporting stats were made up by a feminist magazine. Get over it!”

          Wow. Just wow.
          Well according to the government report of sexual offence cases in England and Wales (much smaller countries than the US) over a 3-year period (2009-2012) there are;
          430,000 – 517000 victims of sexual assault, 60,000 – 95,000 of which are of rape
          54,000 police reports of sexual assault (about 10-13% of victims), 15,650 of which are of rape (about 16-26% of victims
          And of those there are :
          5620 CONVICTIONS of sexual assault (1.3% of attacks AT THE MOST)
          1070 CONVICTIONS of rape (1.7% of attacks AT THE MOST)

          1.7% of victims were given justice that year. Which means the other 98.3% are still living in fear.
          It doesn’t matter how many women don’t get raped, it matters how many do and it’s still TOO many.
          According to the report, 404,000 women reported being sexually assaulted (including attempted sexual assaults
          69,000 of them were raped and a further 31,000 ‘assaulted by penetration’.
          And these are just the women aged 16-59.

          Do NOT belittle something as traumatising, harrowing and disgusting as rape to emphasise your hatred of women. It makes you look exactly like the type of man you’re trying to claim all women insist you are.

        • mommyx4boys says:

          Just wondering if you realize that its not only men who ddo the raping, many many women have been convicted of rape also.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Eva: You’re determining the severity of a crime based on your emotion to it. Murder is a lot more serious that rape IMO. Genocide too. Rape is horrible but not the biggest horror of horrors. Looking at statistics, more men are killed by other men than women are raped by men. Why no emotional response about that? Oh right, men don’t matter especially to feminists who can’t see past their own nose.

          Also, not every accusation of rape is true. In the US, a stripper hired by some boys from Duke lacrosse team falsely accused them of rape. She confessed her claim was false and nothing happened to her. Those boys however were put on trial by the media and their lives destroyed by a LIE! Do you know what its like to walk into a job after dealing with something like that? NO, because you are a self-centered feminist!

          About 27% of rape claims are FALSE (http://www.mediaradar.org/research_on_false_rape_allegations.php). And woman are almost 100% responsible for FALSE claims because they can’t deal with the responsibility of their actions! I truly feel for women who have been raped, but twisted feminist statistics burn the whole house down with their victimhood!

        • Eva says:

          Of course I know that. What does that have to do with anything? Just because women rape too doesn’t mean they deserve to be raped. Do you think a rape victim, male or female, would ever DREAM of doing that to someone? People who rape are the most evil, depraved, soulless monsters that don’t deserve to breathe the same air or see the same light as the rest of us. JSantorelli was belittling the problem of women being raped by saying feminists make up the statistics to victimise men and that is not only totally false, it’s insulting to women who have been raped and especially those too afraid to speak up. Do you know why rape victims don’t speak up? Because they’re afraid no one will believe them. And attitudes like JSantorelli’s are exactly why.

        • mommyx4boys says:

          I was commenting to the person who said men can stop rape by not raping which is not true because its not just males who rape people

        • Eva says:

          @mummyx4boys, you should have been more specific, sorry for yelling at you though :/

          @JSantorelli: I’m determining the severity of the crime by the severity of the crime. People who murder deserve to be locked in a windowless cell too. But we weren’t talking about murder.
          When will you get this through your head; women don’t hate men! I don’t know a single woman who hates men enough to do any of the things you claim all women do. And I’m a feminist! I’m also a little sick of you saying ‘women’ when you should be saying ‘extreme feminists’ – they are not one and the same. Some women lie and claim they were raped, this is sadly true. But what about the many others who actually were? What are we going to do – treat every women who says they were raped as a liar? Your report only covers rapes that were actually reported but do you know how many rapes AREN’T reported? That would dwindle your figures somewhat.
          I don’t know what it’s like to walk into a job having been accused of something you didn’t do – why, do you?
          But I DO know what it’s like to be threatened with violence, humiliation and degradation to the point where you actually wish you would die instead, and then have to go back home, back to school, back to your life as if nothing has happened. And the a few days later, it happens all over again. And I know what it’s like to want to tell someone, ANYONE, but who’s going to believe you? Do you know what that’s like?
          If every law enforcer felt like you do towards victims of crimes such as these then no one would ever report them. What would be the point?

      • k23mt says:

        Men “aren’t allowed”……what a joke. You’re speaking freely right now. Who is silencing you?

      • k23mt says:

        JSantorelli……how is any man “raped” financially and emotionally without his choice? Men are free to live without getting married, or impregnating anyone. I do think laws regarding child custody and child support could use reform, but how is holding a person accountable for their own choices a problem in itself?

        • k23mt says:

          crickets, big surprise

        • twistedsteel says:

          k23mt… “how is holding a person accountable for their own choices a problem in itself?”
          How much do you want to bet you never see this on a sign at a pro-choice rally? But here, where it’s talking about it being completely a guy’s fault that a woman gets pregnant, and the male having to pay child support for the next 18+ years of his life, all of a sudden it’s: You made your choice, now you have to live with the consequences.

          Trust me women, you don’t WANT equality. At this point in western culture (other than biological differences) women have it better than men, period. If you’d actually read or researched any of the article above, you’d see that. Equality would actually be a step BACK for the freedoms and liberties that western culture has led you to believe you’re somehow entitled to over men. If the feminism movement were TRULY interested in helping women as a gender, why the hell are you going on about how bad you’ve got it here in America? Why aren’t you talking about how bad women have it in asia, africa, or the middle east? Answer’s simple: because for all your holier than thou B.S. you’re not interested in women’s rights, you’re interested in YOUR rights.

          And you know what, don’t even waste your time replying to this comment, acting like you might have actually taken what I and countless other people have said here, into consideration. You want to prove me wrong? There are about 7 billion people on this planet; go help one of them that ISN’T you. Go to Turkey, Iraq, Iran, any one of about 50 or 60 countries where women actually get imprisoned, beaten, beheaded, and stoned to death for doing things you take for granted everyday. Tell them about how you’re being “oppressed” with your first world problems. See what THEY have to say about how unfair you as a woman are being treated here.

        • twistedsteel says:

          k23mt… “how is holding a person accountable for their own choices a problem in itself?”

          How much do you want to bet you never see this on a sign at a pro-choice rally? But here, where it’s talking about it being completely a guy’s fault that a woman gets pregnant, and the male having to pay child support for the next 18+ years of his life, all of a sudden it’s: You made your choice, now you have to live with the consequences. Equality!

          Trust me women, you don’t WANT equality. At this point in western culture (other than biological differences) women have it better than men, period. If you’d actually read or researched any of the article above, you’d see that equality would actually be a step BACK for the freedoms and liberties that western culture has led you to believe you’re somehow entitled to over men. If the feminism movement were TRULY interested in helping women as a gender, why the hell are you going on about how bad you’ve got it here in America? Why aren’t you talking about how bad women have it in asia, africa, or the middle east? Answer’s simple: because for all your holier than thou B.S. you’re not interested in women’s rights, you’re interested in YOUR rights.

          And you know what, don’t even waste your time replying to this comment, acting like you might have actually taken what I and countless other people have said here, into consideration. You want to prove me wrong? There are about 7 billion people on this planet; go help one of them that ISN’T you. Go to Turkey, Iraq, Iran, any one of about 50 or 60 countries where women actually get imprisoned, beaten, beheaded, and stoned to death for doing things you take for granted everyday. Tell them about how you’re being “oppressed” with your first world problems. See what THEY have to say about how unfair you as a woman are being treated here.

        • JSantorelli says:

          I have a life and a job that is more important to me than trying to convince a stone statue like yourself what life is like outside the park. It’s pretty clear to me that you will not accept any narrative that doesn’t have woman as the main victim. You rationalize away injustice against men on the parts of feminists as “deserved.” When you’re ready to mature outside your current “me me me me” teenage mentality try again.

      • k23mt says:

        Women have 100% control over a man’s destiny? Lol….are you sure you’re not just pissed because you don’t have 100% controls over women’s destinies?

    • And his being white has significance because…? Dude can’t help what skin he was born into. Are *only* whites “evil?” Ha! Any person of any skin color can do any kind of evil. Why? Because they’re all human. Also, way to prove his point by completely ignoring the stuff men go through.

    • Run along now and take your disgusting free bleeding elsewhere.

    • timmers0 says:

      Yes, Matt is automatically wrong because he is a man and because he is white. Good point!

      • nbackhaus9 says:

        He’s not wrong because he’s white and a man. He’s wrong because he’s wrong. I believe the point about him being white and male is that he cannot understand the challenges that women and people of color face on both societal and institutional levels.

    • Shauna elliott says:

      I am a proud white American woman who agrees with this. When you have a boy..sit back and watch the “society” of ours will try and do to him. He is on the MONEY! I have 2 boys and 2 girls. I have taught them both to be strong, independent, kind, caring, nurturing, self motivation, empathetic people. Are we ever going to be “equal” in the world?..um..no. (but equal to what exactly?) We need to take a look at the world outside of our little feminist bubble that we have created and continue to look and search for the wrongs continually done to us. bad idea in marriage and a bad idea in general. Fight for things worth fighting for women..we will have your backs, we are your sisters in arms!! I choose to fight for both races here…to do good for both genders. Please, do the same. We all have our plights, let us lift one another and stop looking so hard for who to attack next!

      • rendarsmith says:

        Yeah, keep dreaming. The feminist movement has been nothing but Marxist anti-male anti-traditional family movement from the beginning. They’re rooted in hatred, they’re not going to change. We’re better off separating their influence from government and society.

        • k23mt says:

          Yes, it had nothing to do with giving women freedom to leave abusive relationships, or having basic human rights like voting.

      • k23mt says:

        Both races? There are exactly 2? Wtf?

    • Days of Broken Arrows says:

      Much like women in every strata of society — from teacher to writer to counselor — define what masculinity is for us. Welcome to the world.

    • Misty says:

      He does have a point – Beyonce is supposed to be a role model? I have a daughter, I would horrified if she dressed and acted the way Beyonce does. I have 2 sons, both are rambunctious and loud but sweet and fun.

    • leo says:

      Aleks, As a young man who went through the things he talks about during school, you are an ignorant bigot.

  2. Pingback: Roundup | Eternity Matters

  3. steve says:

    It seems as though the author is referring to life in the united states, not the global plight of all womankind. I haven’t heard of any cases of acid throwing in the united states. It is agreeably one of the most reprehensible, vile deeds carried out by anyone. Raping a woman near to death
    then mutilating her genitals to cut her
    blood line off is another common
    practice in less civilized parts of the
    world. So yes, women have been
    historically and are currently treated
    brutally at the hands of men. You know
    who else is treated as badly or worse?
    Any and everyone who has ever stood
    up to brutality. Because brutality and
    inhumanity don’t discriminate on sex,
    they only want your broken soul or your
    corpse. How many corpses, eunuchs and amputees does it take for people in the first world to unify towards the common goal of eradicating this line of thinking from our species? Arguing over trivial nonsense does nothing but shift attention away from larger issues that have plagued all of humanity since the dawn of civilization. But hey, soon we won’t have enough brave, masculine men to protect us from bloodthirsty psychopaths and we can all suffer dystopian hardship together! Equality! Merica!
    Ps. I agree with the author about the misplacement of american feminist ire. How can you be upset about the word bossy and be ok with 99% of pornography absolutely degrading and ruining the females who take part in sordid acts? Not to mention that a large percentage of young males and females watch it, reinforcing that “this is normal, ok behavior.”

    • Porn is complicated. Some feminists are strongly anti-porn, some feminists believe porn is fine as long as it’s consensual and the women truly want to be involved.

      Where did you get it that the women in porn are ‘degraded and ruined’ as I know quite a few sex workers, including women who work in porn, who are feminists, and who absolutely would refute that. They like their jobs.

      There are of course massive problems in the industry – like many other industries and institutions, not least the Church – and a lot of feminists are of the view that all porn inherently is for men’s tastes, not really for women. But there are lots of women who enjoy watching porn so I’m not convinced of this.

      • A woman watches porn to figure out how to be THE most important woman in her man’s life, instead of all those fantasy women who care nothing for the security and health of their “real” relationship. She watches porn to grasp how to rein her man back in. She watches porn in an attempt to comprehend what all those unreal women have that so easily attracts his attention away from her – what uncanny control they have over her man. With a devastated heart, she watches porn, in total disbelief, over the degradation with which her man is filling his eyes, mind and soul.

      • Edik415 says:

        “Porn is complicated.”

        This is the funniest sentence I’ve heard all day.

      • Kyle says:

        what about women who have mens taste (lesbians) are they evil people because they enjoy watching women get fucked?
        I think the anti porn people have their own demons they need to come to grips with. They are frustrated at not being able to control other peoples sexuality. there are std problems in the porn industry

        • Kyle says:

          but like you said every industry has problems. So what if most porn is made for mens tastes? Is that a problem? Some porn is made for women’s tastes, most erotic literature is made for womens tastes. Is that a problem also?

          You can argue the pros and cons of porn, but banning all porn is absurd, this is america, people are going to make porn and there isnt anything you can do to force them to stop.

      • Eva says:

        Porn is a repulsive industry. It leaves so many doors open to sexual abuse, drug abuse, human trafficking… Not to mention it’s s accessible now that children can access it in seconds. CHILDREN! And it destroys relationships. I’d argue that if there’s ANY chance an industry could have such an adverse effect on society then it should abolished. Fast. But apparently it’s ‘natural’ and ‘productive’ for the economy. I want to weep for civilisation sometimes.

    • LucidMystery says:

      “I agree with the author about the misplacement of american feminist ire.”

      That’s what this entire post is about: American feminist ire. If you’ve read his other posts, you’d know Matt is 100% against the kind of oppression women face in other countries. But while in other countries, women are beaten, starved, raped, mutilated, abused and isolated, American women just whine about how this overpaid female executive isn’t quite as overpaid as her overpaid male counterpart. It’s lazy and self centered.

    • Shauna elliott says:

      yes, the United States…where saying we are “Bossy” is at the top of our complaining list. Let us shift our attention to what is happening in the WORLD. Thank you Steve

  4. leftturn61 says:

    I would rather have my sons in public schools than homeschooled. Can you say social skills?
    The lack of a livable minimum wage is one of the biggest problems today. People either resort to public aid or illegal means to survive.
    I see homeschooled kids running around unsupervised as their parents don’t care. This is at church.
    I WISH these kids WERE on SOMETHING so I could enjoy church.
    Feminists, rock on

    • tully says:

      I assume you’re joking, right?

    • Susan says:

      You might as well have said that rain falls up. Your comment is contrary to reality that I am convinced you’ve never met a homeschooled student…which, btw, consist in ALL political persuasions, religious and non-religious traditions, parenting styles and lifestyles. Congrats…you win the Golden Turkey Award.

    • Emmers says:

      WOW. I really hope all this is sarcasm…

    • Matt says:

      First off, research history. Minimum wage was NEVER meant to be a livable wage. It was meant as a starter wage for people joining the work force. Second, the majority of the people who resort to illegal means to survive do so not because of minimum wage, but because they don’t want to work, or the see an opportunity to get away with it and have no sense of morals telling them not to. Finally, kids run. That’s what they do. TO say it’s because the parents don’t care is ridiculous. There are kids that run around my church, I just think to myself, I remember having that kind of energy. Public schools are no guarantee of social skills, as these are not taught. I don’t remember ever having a social skills class in school. If public schools was a guarantee of “social skills”, why do we have all these school shootings by people who don’t fit in?

      • leftturn61 says:

        Special skills are learned behaviors by being around other kids. It’s obvious you have none.
        I don’t care what minimum wage w a s meant to be. The 1% has made it an unliveable wage.
        Illegal means to live? I’ll give your view 20% truth.
        Running with l d kids in a public place? No social skills. Thanks for proving my point.
        School shootings? Parents not careful with guns and lax gun laws.

        • Javin says:

          You really are a special kind of stupid, aren’t you?

          Matt: “Minimum wage was NEVER meant to be a livable wage. It was meant as a starter wage for people joining the work force.”

          You: “I don’t care what minimum wage w a s meant to be. The 1% has made it an unliveable wage.”

          Smash your face against a brick wall until you’re able to tell us how your response makes even the slightest bit of sense?

          And do you know what causes school shootings? Gun free zones. Places where sick and twisted people have a target rich environment that they’re guaranteed won’t be able to fight back. Morons like you created those.

          If “lax gun laws” created school shootings, then do explain to me why it is if you lay the statistics from FBI.gov showing states that have the highest number of NICS background checks (eg: the most guns) next to the states’ violent crime rates, you see a direct INVERSE relationship showing that states with MORE guns have LESS crime? But I don’t know why I bother. Morons that are stupid enough to say “lax gun laws” cause school shootings are entirely too stupid to actually look at statistics.

        • leftturn61 says:

          Oh my. You are a dear man/woman. Thanks for helping me understand. I had no idea.
          I am a special kind of stupid. I have a neurological condition similar to MS. IF you wouldn’t mind, take your gun and shove it….. In a locked storage place away from children.

        • Javin says:

          So you’re blaming your utter ignorance on a neurological condition? If you’re aware that your condition makes you ignorant, then perhaps you would be better served avoiding blathering your opinion in the comment sections of blogs.

          If you’re just here to spew stupidity and then do absolutely nothing to back it up except go, “poor me! Don’t pick on me! I’m sick!” then just… leave.

          And I hope you step on a lego on your way out.

        • leftturn61 says:

          You are really a disgusting nasty person. There is a term that both parties use for people like you, Javelin, and I pray that you understand it’s meaning…. PRICK, e.g., dick, asshole, Needle dick….. Get it? Good.

        • Javin says:

          Typical ignorant liberal. When your “don’t pick on me! I’m a protected group!” argument fails, you resort to the vulgarity…

          *golf clap*

      • Of course it wasn’t “meant” to be. For a long time it wasn’t even in existence. For the people who created it, it was “meant” to be as low as possible. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a problem.

        No everyone can get a well-paid job, there will always be people doing minimum wage. Some will go on to other things. It is statistically impossible that everyone does. That doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to have enough food to eat.

        I agree about kids running around and playing though. It’s good for kids to enjoy themselves I think.

        • Androsynth says:

          This economic illiteracy is pretty damn pervasive. The problem is not that the minimum wage is not high enough, the problem is massive inflation that devalues the purchasing power of every dollar earned. 40 years ago you could work your way through college on a minimum wage job, nowadays that’s impossible.

          Inflation doesn’t happen by accident, it’s an intentional act by government and central banks. Perhaps you should turn your ire on the actual problem, instead of a solution that not only isn’t a solution, but is actively harmful to the victims you seek to help.

        • Matt says:

          And to add to Androsynth, let’s try to pinpoint one of the major influences in inflation. Increasing costs to run a business. This includes taxes thrown onto business owners, increases in supply costs, and of course INCREASING WAGES!!!. Increasing the minimum wage doesn’t raise someone above the poverty level, it just means the business that has to pay their employees that wage, mainly fast food restaurants and other jobs that low income people are going to go into, are going to have to raise their prices to accommodate the new higher wages they are being forced to pay out. I am well below the poverty level myself, and I am against raising the minimum wage. It doesn’t change anything, it only hurts the people the liberals think it is going to help.

        • nbackhaus9 says:

          In reply to Androsynth – “This economic illiteracy is pretty damn pervasive. The problem is not that the minimum wage is not high enough, the problem is massive inflation that devalues the purchasing power of every dollar earned.”

          Have you taken any sort of economics class in the past decade? You do realize that even after adjusted for inflation, the real minimum wage today is lower than it was 50 years ago, right? Please – before you start preaching about “economic illiteracy” fact check yourself.

      • Javin says:

        LOGIC! LOGIC!

        I deny your logic and substitute my own:

        In the real world, children can live in harmony with my unicorns and liberals who know more than all of you combined. Any of you that deny that unicorns and socialism is the answer are IDIOTS and STUPIDORS. You. Stupidor. That’s you. Coz I said so. And I don’t have to know anything about home schooling or economics, or unicorns to prove it. It’s true coz I said so and I have 10 people that agree with me. And that you’ll die in fire. Big fire. Lit by unicorns. I may never have raised a child by home schoolilng, but I know that by NOT giving your child to the government to teach, you are wrong. And evil. And Steven said so… (Steven’s my unicorn.) But I’m right coz unicorns are in the bible. So yeah. Deal.

        And Obama’s righter than you are. Coz he said so, and his friends said so, and coz he’s black. So he’s right. How dare you disagree with black? I mean Obama? Racist. Money can be made by anyone and this “e-kon-o-mee” thing is fake words made up by stupidor. Money comes from the government and we need to let the government make money. Don’t stop that. It’s stupidor to make not money.

        E-kon-o-mee makes money so we can all have boats. Boats for steve. And don’t deny us our boats coz it’s a RITE! A rite defined by the constitution or something. We the people, do not have to work, for antyhing. Rich people do… And they have to give it to us. It’s in the constitution.

        Minmum wage says so. I should get enough to get my cell phone and cable and food. and health care. and crack. Coz rites. DOn’t deny me, racist. Racist, sexist pig.

        And I want a a taco. It’s my rite.

        • Deba says:

          rotflmbo

        • k23mt says:

          The minimum wage doesn’t provide enough to LIVE….the myth that people are just wasting their money on luxuries is spread by spoiled people who do that themselves, and are just projecting, and don’t want to think about people who are actually disadvantaged and suffering.

      • k23mt says:

        Haha wow…..the more sense a poster makes, the meaner the crowd gets…..Javin, most of posters are here to spew stupidity…..including you…..leftturn61 is one of the few doing better, lol

    • Chesty Puller says:

      Ah, the old “unsocialized”/”social skills” argument. So it is the homeschooled children having sex in the bathroom, giving blowjobs in class, smoking pot before they hit puberty, drugging and gang-raping drunk young girls, and failing miserably at standardized testing? That describes home-schooled children? Obviously not. And you obviously have an axe to grind. Your comment is not based on reality. Were children not socialized before the advent of the current American public education system (which is now over 100 years old)? Such a silly thing to say.

    • cdciii says:

      Dear lefty61, yes, I can say “social skills”. And I mean skills well beyond “social media” by which many public school children are limited. As the father of home schooled children who never saw the inside of a PS, my kids (now adults with kids of their own) grew up with peers of all ages, not just the very limited age group peerage of the nanny state schools.

      My son graduated HS at 16, college by 21, Masters in Electronic Engineering by 23 and had by that time been employed by Intel for 5 years in an engineering capacity. One of his best friends during that time was a 90+ year old man. He was able to relate to the smallest land the oldest among us rather than just his own age group. Would that qualify as “social skills”?

      My daughter was hired at 18 by a local natural supplement company over the objections of a the 55 year old chief employee on grounds that teenagers were useless. My daughter and she became best friends to this day 12 years later. She was also asked to take over running the company 6 years ago, which thankfully she declined in favor of becoming a wife and mom. In an archaeological dig at Meggido, Israel, she became good friends with numerous Israeli students, actually preferring them to the Americans on the dig. When the rockets started falling on either side of them and she had the choice to leave (ALL of the Americans left) she stayed for another 3 weeks and saw the dig through to its end. Would those traits be “social skills”?

      At present, my wife and I are supremely blessed that we are no longer parents, we are now the best of friends with the equality that comes with that. We serve each other socially and spiritually. That is a “social skills” set.

      We never went through the typical teenage “rebellion” years which people think natural. Such rebellion in my opinion is the result of public schooling and the adversarial attitude it has and engenders in students as the system creates unthinking minions for leftist ideology. Parents abdicates their own primary responsibility to educate and “socialize” their children when they turn them over to strangers who lack a vested interest in them other than a paycheck. You think homeschoolers in church are bad? I’ve worked in public school classrooms. I’ve had teenagers try to physically assault me because they didn’t want to comply and thought it’d be funny to do so. I’ve had parents tell me that they’d come down and feed me my teeth if I called them again to ask why little Johnny was in class yesterday. I’ve taken marijuana laced kids to the office and had them back laughing at me within the hour. Those are the “social skills” of the public schools.

      If you want a monster, socialize your kids in the public schools…

      • leftturn61 says:

        Maybe some of that marijuana laced product would loosen you up….Geez. I won’t reply. You proved my point. 🙂

        • CombatMissionary says:

          HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA… wow. You’ve been using too much of your own product. He trounced your point. Oh, well, enough feeding trolls today…

        • Logic101 says:

          Actually I think he obliterated every point you made, which is why the only comeback you have is to insult and refuse to reply. This in fact shows you lack the ability to hold a reasonable, thoughtful debate, which is one of these “social skills” you claim to have and place supreme importance on. In reality, your response, or lack there of, proves cdciii’s point.

        • leftturn61 says:

          Oh, no. My supreme importance is to understand the Matt Walsh cult. How he isn’t name calling, how he isn’t hateful, how he has appointed himself Judgement King. It sickens me that he disrespects the President of our country…. And this whole crap load arguments that I am insulting….. That’s why no response is necessary on my part. Have a nice day.

        • Javin says:

          Interesting… So… Left turn… It “sickens” you that Matt Walsh “disrespects the presidency” huh… Just how sickened were you for the entirety of the Bush presidency, hmmm?

          Also, do you actually HAVE an opinion that wasn’t spoon fed to you by another liberal? Like any opinion of your own based on any sort of actual logic and fact? Because I see you saying a lot of REALLY ignorant stuff, and you have yet to back it up with a single real-world (eg: not made up and pretend) statistic or fact yet.

        • sahawk1 says:

          Really? I thought he proved your point quite well.

          I am a SAHM of a high school child who was home schooled until last year. She really only went to school for the activities and prefers the adults to most of the teens. Just part of her “socialization” that doesn’t include drugs drinking or sex. Not everyone needs to have the same life.

          We are all individuals, not clones!

      • deborah Lynch says:

        I realized that this was probably a few years ago, but could you pass me the info about volunteering at archeological site? please:) If it is still available? thanks..

    • Nobody says:

      I’m guessing you were public schooled… so where are these social skills you speak of? Most socially appropriate people don’t pass such harsh judgments on individual people, let alone a whole group of people that you don’t even know.

    • thwurth says:

      You obviously know nothing about homeschooling and just demonstrated your ignorance.

    • k23mt says:

      Ha! Yes, the minimum wage really is the root of a lot of problems……the folks here are probably too spoiled and entitled to get it…..

  5. W says:

    Reblogged this on Maiden.

  6. Beth says:

    Matt, you obviously feel passionate about the plight of young men. I love your point of view of male adolescence in current society, because you have experienced it first hand. I quickly lose respect for you, however, when you begin attacking and vilifying the other side—your interpretation of ‘feminists’. It is an over-arching stereotype—really an archetype. Unless I am grossly mistaken, I don’t think you have experienced being a female first hand.

    If someone is offended (for example with the use of the word ‘bossy’), it is not their rhetoric that needs to change for reconciliation. They are angry. It is our responsibility to listen. ‘Bossy’ is not the issue, and I think you know that judging by the way you dug in to take a look at boys’ issues. It is the symptom of cultural disease. Secular culture knows there is a problem, and they’re trying to fix it. Instead of focusing on their proposed ‘fixes’ and attacking them for their ridiculousness, what if we showed the world a better way and live into the light that we are called to be?

  7. Mantly says:

    Sexist Cunt!

  8. mick8 says:

    Dear Matt,

    I live in South Africa. I have three incredible children, a girl(8), a boy(7) and a girl(5).

    I happened to stumble upon your blog a few weeks ago, and I’ve yet to read something I disagree with. 🙂

    My son opens the door for his sisters and myself, he has his own room and he does full contact karate with knock-down competitions. He has only been doing it for the last three months. The change we have seen in our son is magnificent! He is coming out of his shell beautifully, he is becoming self-confident, willing to try new things, and yeah beat up on his sisters every now and then. 😉

    So before we moan about the word bossy for girls, *serious eye rolling here* and take away natural outlets for boys to grow, mature and build relationships, lets look at real problems affecting society at large.

    I’m proud that my son is going to be a mans man, tough, strong, nurtured, able to be the head of his own home.

    So thank-you for your blog. I LOVE reading it. 🙂

    Kind Regards, Mick Homeschooling mom to three. 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • Your son beats up his sisters, you think that’s a natural outlet, and you don’t see how gender roles in childhood are connected to the ‘real problems’?

      • LongLostFriend says:

        Where did he say his son beats up his sisters?

        Learn to read.

      • don says:

        Sisters beat up sisters, brothers beat up brothers, sisters beat up brothers and brothers beat up sisters. It happens. It’s not only men who can be physically violent.

        • sahawk1 says:

          It has been happening for centuries! Heck- my brothers used to beat me up when I babysat and that was eons ago. Get a grip, people! It is normal childhood behavior.

          This country is becoming way to sissy when people freak over siblings “beating each other up”.

      • Phoenix says:

        I don’t think a multi-child house has ever existed in which there weren’t issues of sibling rivalry and therefore physical altercations from time to time. What does a childhood scuffle have to do with “real problems”? I used to fight and wrestle with my brothers all the time, and none of us are psychotics, and we don’t abuse our children and spouses. Healthy outlets for physical aggression are important for BOTH sexes, and there is nothing wrong with wrestling around with your siblings or friends regardless of gender …. How’s that for equality?

      • Jeff says:

        Left Eye Right Eye, my wife used to tussle with her brother when they were young as well. He was and is a very active individual. Very adventurous even now. He is highly educated and very well adjusted. I would wager to say more so than myself. My wife has no bad memories of her brother and they have a great relationship. Some of my very best friends were those that I would get into fights with. It harmed none of us. We were not bullies, just buddies.
        I say this because your statements appear to lack any experience. I could be wrong, but I have a lived a while and you sound foolish to me.

        • sahawk1 says:

          Glad your wife is none the worse for ware. My not so fond memory is when my brothers knocked the wind out of me with a roll of paper towels to the gut. I think I was 9 or 10. Now we laugh but then I thought I would die, so did they when dad got home. LOL

  9. Josh Tinley says:

    This entire post is predicated on the idea that “liberal feminists” completely deny and dismiss problems that are unique to boys. Yet you don’t really provide any supporting evidence. Sure, you do a decent job explaining challenges that boys face nowadays, but you don’t show how “liberal feminists” are denying or dismissing these problems. Most people I know who would describe themselves as liberal and/or feminist would agree that boys face unique challenges, especially where education is concerned, and that we should take these problems seriously. I suppose there could be millions of liberal feminists out there who do completely disregard boy issues; but again, you provide no evidence. (Are liberal feminists responsible for ADHD diagnoses or something?)

    Also, you claim that the statement, “We expect boys to be assertive and confident, while we expect girls to be kind and nurturing,” insinuates that Jennifer Garner, Beyoncé, et al. feel that there’s something wrong with girls being “kind” and “nurturing.” It insinuates no such thing.

    Lastly, I’ve never known someone to have an “unquenchable enthusiasm for infanticide.” Can you give an example?

    • Abortion Josh, abortion is modern infanticide.

      And frankly, by only actually caring about one group of individuals you effectively deny and dismiss the problems of others. Beyond that given that equality is long ago achieved under the law the modern person advocating feminism will be advocating for something more or less pushing to androgonize. The assertion is that that androgonization in and of itself does not meet boys (or girls) needs and promotes the said problems.

      • Feminists don’t only care about one group, it’s just that we point out the people who don’t care about that group. It doesn’t mean we don’t care about anyone or anything else.

        • hippiefreak says:

          Bull. When you present your misdemeanors to the world, and speak nothing about the larger felonies, and you expect the world’s help, and you do not assist when the they point out the felonies and ask for YOUR help, then yes, you are demonstrating what you do not care about. Why can’t feminists ever tell the flat, ugly truth?

    • Ronda Wintheiser says:

      Ever hear of Planned Parenthood? Unbridled, unquenchable, feverish enthusiasm for abortion.

    • Paul Johnson says:

      They certainly stipulate that any discussion about it must take place under the umbrella of feminism or not at all. There’s plenty of evidence that feminists censor dissent, and are actively opposing the formation of safe spaces for men.

      U of T blockade, pulling fire alarms, systemic institutional opposition to forming KSU Men, opposition to the new Male Studies curricula in Australia, etc. These are just some of the recent ones, but feminism has a very long and well-documented history of opposing the formation of men’s issues groups (unless, of course, they do it “through the lens of feminism”

  10. Pingback: The anti-bossy campaign is just the latest example of the Left’s obsession with gender, sex, and sexuality as a way of remaking society

  11. Bill says:

    I’m just glad I grew up back when being a young boy was fun and girls were cool if painfully hard for me to talk to….

  12. lee says:

    You forgot to mention (or maybe I just missed it) that men are now the minority on college campuses, coming it at around 40% of the student body. And the ones who are there, what with the Titke IX-ing of every aspect of college life and the Deptment of Education’s “Dear Colleague” letter, are seeing the right to due process disappear. They are becoming increasingly at risk of getting thrown out of school for having the misfortune to sleep with a girl who changes her mind–the next morning, the next week, the next month… The boys and men of America are getting so screwed.

    • Men get thrown out of school for sleeping with a girl who changes her mind? Really? Even when they’re found innocent of rape, they get thrown out?

      I think you’ll find they’re getting away with rape and women and girls are the ones being driven out of public spaces actually.

      • Bell says:

        Yes. Ask Caleb Warner. Femenists are quite simply a hate group and rabidly anti-male, as you exemplify with your disgusting defenses of male harassment and audacious lies you’ve told throughout these comments.

      • Paul Johnson says:

        They don’t get a chance to be found innocent — their due process rights have been removed and they’re tried in star chambers by campus students and faculty. They never get accused in criminal court or charged, aren’t allowed representation or to even defend themselves, and they get tarred/feathered and kicked out of school.

    • zzzzzzz says:

      Yes. But if you mention this (or any issue where men are being subjugated by the outcomes of modern feminism) to any feminist you’ll get some nice lip service about how ‘feminism is working on men’s issues too!’

      Hilarious. This is like telling a lung cancer patient they need more cigarettes to fight the tumors.

  13. Kal says:

    Well said Matt. Sick of listening to all the rubbish these feminists come out with. It’s embarrassing. Geez, get a life ladies and deal with the real issues facing young girls today like child trafficking for instance. Young girls being sold and having their innocence stolen numerous times a day, pretty sure that’s a bigger issue then a stupid word!!!

    • Yeah, feminists never say anything about child trafficking. Ever. Because a few feminists have mentioned they object to this one bit of sexist language, that means that feminists don’t care about child trafficking. Yes. None of us.

      • Bell says:

        It’s so important an issue to feminists, feminists ignore it and focus on the real evil: being deemed “bossy”.

      • Joe says:

        You are really being bossy on this message board and it would behoove you to stop doing so.

    • CombatMissionary says:

      Funny, I never heard a word out of the feminists when those Project Veritas showed ACORN workers actively collaborating with what they thought were efforts to start brothels with underage Latin American sex slaves.

  14. Nicole says:

    The word “bossy” being an insult comes from the fact that in business today, if a woman is a boss, she’s just labeled as a bossy bitch, but if a man is the boss, he’s totally respected and admired. It’s just not equal opportunity to prove your self and gain respect. THAT’s the problem. Also it’s frowned upon if a woman has a career in the first place….since when is that a bad thing? It’s the 21st century!

    We need to start using the “f” word, feminism the way it’s ACTUALLY supposed to be used. It means EQUAL RIGHTS! It is totally insane to think other wise, and it has become a bad thing to say and it shouldn’t be! You can’t just bash a group of people, especially when you have a very slanted view of what they actually are, it’s infuriating especially since you’re wrong.

    When you said that feminists are umm AIDING in making women sexual objects?! I can’t even believe that…part of feminism is making sure that women ARE not made sexual objects because uh I don’t know that doesn’t fseem very equal to me since men are not treated that way.

    Women are half of the population, and they need to start having more of an influence in this country, and they should have the opportunity to become whatever they want. If they want to be stay at home mothers, that’s great! If they want to be president of the United States? Awesome. If they want to have a career and raise a family (and yes you can do that) then fabulous. They shouldn’t be looked down on for that. Ever.

    I am also a firm believer that men have just as much a part in raising a family as a woman does. And I think there in the family setting there also needs to be equality. They should be scrutinized just as much as a woman should for not spending enough time at home with their children.

    • JSantorelli says:

      What planet do you live on? Your comments show how ignorant of feminism you are. Look up “feminist porn” and learn something. Same garbage different can.

      Read Christina Hoff Sommers “The War Against Boys” and you will see how feminism is not about true equality. They want privilege and never fight for responsibility. When was the last time you saw a protest to register women for the Selective Service? NEVER! Equality demands women women register to be equal!

      Also, people don’t like “bossy” males anymore than females ones. The difference is with a bossy male boss the workers shaft him in private. I’ve seen the lower guys steel, do work half-heartedly, and other malevolent acts. A boss who abuses his/her power shoots themselves in the foot. When you are seen as the enemy people will react against you. The worst is when you don’t know it.

      • No, you are ignorant about feminism.

        You read a book? By another ignorant person? Yeah go you.

        I’ve been involved in feminist activism and campaigning for over a decade. I have probably disagreed with and argued with more feminists than you do.

        How many feminists do you actually even know?

        Do you have any idea what you’re talking about or are you deliberately lying?

        • JSantorelli says:

          I have read a host of books and know a lot of feminists. I am a college professor and the profession is rich in feminists. What are your credentials? Professional blogger? Your vague post is quite telling which is typical of feminist hysteria.

        • zzzzzzz says:

          I know plenty of feminists.

          They are mostly single mothers who have used the tenets of feminism as justification to alienate their children’s father from their children’s lives, cash in on alimony and child support, attend university on a single-mother scholarship, and enjoy the never-ending flow of Uncle Sam bux into their purses.

          They have internalized the hateful rhetoric that feminism spews about men. They wake up in the morning looking for a reason to be offended which to them is proof of their oppression. They want all the privileges of being a male in society with none of the responsibility.

          For hate movements like feminism the internet has been a double-edged sword. On one hand they have a new venue for recruiting new members using doublespeak and emotionally-driven arguments. On the other hand their logically-flawed arguments and
          hateful beliefs are now widely available for examination and rebuttal.

          The old “but my definition of feminism is equality!” cop-out is losing traction because we can now catalog the outcomes of feminism and they are demonstrably unequal.

        • Mo says:

          @ zzzzzzz

          Excellently said!

        • k23mt says:

          Lol…..you think men have more responsibility than women? Wtf?

    • Matt says:

      “The word “bossy” being an insult comes from the fact that in business today, if a woman is a boss, she’s just labeled as a bossy bitch, but if a man is the boss, he’s totally respected and admired.” I’ve worked for a few different companies, under both male and female management. I’ve seen this statement thrown around a lot by different people. It’s categorically untrue. If a woman is a domineering, overbearing, dictatorial person, she is going to be called a bossy bitch. If a woman is a good leader on the other hand, she will be followed willingly by most people anymore. If a man is a domineering overbearing, dictatorial person, he is called a dick or asshole by the people working under him. If he is a good leader, he has people behind him. Being bossy, is not being a good leader. Leaders lead by example, ordering people to do things you are unwilling to do yourself will always label you badly.

    • hippiefreak says:

      Oh, wow, are you behind the times. Your statements were used on society well over ten years ago. Things have deteriorated much since then. Women have long since “started” having an influence. Oh, wow. Where does one begin to get you current? Is someone playing a trick on us by pulling this post out of archives?

    • Javin says:

      The stupid… It burns…

      “The word “bossy” being an insult comes from the fact that in business today, if a woman is a boss, she’s just labeled as a bossy bitch, but if a man is the boss, he’s totally respected and admired.”

      So I’m currently in a software development job, and have worked on the same contract for 7 years. (Did 7 years on another contract prior to this with the same results.) We have two upper management “bosses” that are males. They’re also micro-managers (eg: bossy) and are universally hated by all. They’re called “the dicks” behind their backs. We often lament the loss of our previous upper management.

      Semi-recently, we got a new middle-manager in our department. SHE (I emphasize that she is a female) is a no-bull-shit ball-buster that not only gets shit done, but she’s also not afraid to stand up to said upper management when they’re wrong (which is usually). My particular department consists of 5 guys and 2 girls, not counting our new manager. She’s been here for 9 months now, and we would follow her off a bridge if she asked.

      Before she arrived, we had another male manager that was spineless, and cowed to the upper management, and directed us to do things that we knew would hurt the contract. He was also bossy. When we would attempt to explain to him why it was a bad idea, he would tell us to do what he said, and quit questioning him.

      More recently, we have another female “upper-upper manager” that has just come on board. Her first order of business was to “retire” one of the upper managers, and put another guy in his place (we’re still waiting to see what the new guy is like, he hasn’t arrived yet).

      Either way, my point in all this is that in 14 years of working in the civilian sector, I have consistently seen only one pattern: People (not men, not women, but people) that are good leaders get a great deal of respect, and gender plays no role. People that are “bossy” are both men, and women, and “bossy” people are universally disliked, regardless of gender.

      The argument that “strong women” are called “bossy” while “strong men” are called “leaders” is an out and out lie. It’s a fabrication made up by the “victim group” women who need something to draw on their banner so they can wave it at their protests to show how victimized they are.

      • BossyJossy says:

        It sounds like you have a great leader. However, I am curious as to what her superiors think and say about her. I wonder what her merit increase will be and if she’s on the fast track. They may not call her “bossy” but I doubt they have the respect for her that you do. They likely think she is a “ball buster” but they mean it in a negative way. She sounds like she has actual principles, understands leadership, and believes in doing the right thing rather than whatever will give her a pat on the head from senior management. She has your respect. But the truth is, senior leadership has a lot more influence over her career path than you do. In theory they should love her because, under her leadership, the team performs. In reality, it doesn’t always work that way.

        I say this as someone who has personally experienced it. It has all worked out for me in the end. I am a senior manager at a Fortune 500 company with a great team and I love my job. However, I have certainly struggled with having a higher burden of proof than my male peers, having untrue assumptions made about me based on my gender, and having to work much harder at not coming across as “too aggressive”. In fact, my last employer was close to firing me because of my supposed aggressiveness. Yes, I *am* aggressive when it comes to defending my team. I won’t apologize for that. But apparently, in a socially conservative area of the Midwest, this is a mortal sin if you’re a woman. Not so much if you’re a man – and yes, the men were rewarded for their aggression. Funny fact about that employer: they put me through a series of tests and, when I scored in the 90th percentile on the abstract reasoning portion, my (lower scoring) peers said: “but you’re a girl!”

        Then there is the so-called “privilege” of lower expectations. I’ve had executives go easy on me because I am slender and young looking and they think I might cry. Only a lazy person would consider that a privilege. Sure, I could get out of some of the more difficult work by playing the “protect me” card. But it wouldn’t exactly put me on the fast track, now, would it?

        Heck, I remember being told as a teenager *by management* that I couldn’t stock shelves in a grocery store because “girls don’t do that”. This was in the supposed liberal PC decade: the 90s. I was also called a b*tch and c*nt when I got a management position and told that I was taking a job away from a man. I can laugh at that now because it is what motivated me to go to university and not spend my life stocking tomato sauce on store shelves, just to prove a woman could do it. The men who said that to me are old now, and probably never made it past $12 an hour. But I digress.

        Sexism isn’t dead. Men and women who are “bossy” are perceived differently. Can women still achieve great things? Of course. But let’s not pretend that (partial) equality under the law has magically made double standards disappear. (Why do I say partial? Well, as someone else mentioned, women aren’t required to register for Selective Service, right? I also believe, if I’m remembering correctly from my Constitutional Law course, that gender discrimination is *not* held to strict scrutiny.)

        Sheryl Sandberg is obviously successful and hard-working. She has done what a lot of successful women do: identify the gap and address it. She *knows* she will be perceived differently because she is a woman, and she has figured out how to successfully overcome the stereotypes and other obstacles. She could ignore the sexism and deny its existence (conservatives) or point at the sexism and cry about it (liberals). OR she could identify the sexism and come up with a solution to mitigate its impact (success!). Is it so bad she wrote a book about it? And is this “ban bossy” campaign that offensive? Is she actually advocating to make the word illegal? Or was it just a catchy way to call attention to a double standard?

  15. Dear Matt Walsh:
    All I can say is wow. Wow. And you accuse “liberal feminists,” women–people–of being theatrical and “concocting petty and frivolous” reasons to “feel offended and persecuted.” And you claim they’re fabricating facts that are flagrantly obvious, while fabricating crap yourself, that I can’t help but wonder if this is supposed to be satire. But according to your lugubrious tone, men are the persecuted pitiful ones. They’re the ones being picked on and harassed. Do you read? Do you research? Do you think? I’ve read your posts before and usually found them pretty insightful and inspiring, but after this one, I’ve lost respect. You’re correct in pointing out that you shouldn’t have wasted 1700 words–or 1700 seconds–of anyone’s time, on this preposterous load of codswallop. If there is any way you can pretend to know what you’re talking about in your arrogant and condescending words, to know the perspective or intents of women who have gone through so much oppression, and persevered through the many indignities and inequalities heaped upon them, you’re an ass.
    “You’ve nailed yourselves to your own crosses you’ve carved and built yourselves and demanded all the attention be given to your perceived persecutions”? Dude, get real. Who, including yourself, is not aware that women have been the most patient, giving, and selfless people throughout history, hence the appellation of “nurturing caregivers.” Is it so awful for them to ask for respect and their wants and needs to be met finally? It’s what any right-minded individual would do. Perhaps if men had not tried to control them, and abused and taken advantage of them in the first place, this wouldn’t be an issue we would be discussing right now. But they did, and still do, and men like you reinforce the reason why.

    You’re part of the problem.
    And you have been for a long time.

    These are not “concocted” “frivolous” or “petty” ideas “conceived by feminist liberals” thAt “deserve an exaggerated eye roll and a loud yawn.” Your patronizing, arrogant, ignorant, and stereotypical patriarchal dogmatized bullshit are what “deserve an exaggerated eye roll and loud yawn.” I can only think by your outrageously ludicrous assertions and “ugly insinuations” such as “their unquenchable enthusiasm for infanticide; exaggerating and even fabricating misogyny and sexism”etc. that you’re either incredibly dim witted and ignorant, or extremely ill mannered, bombastic, and yes, sexist. Because the research, the studies, the evidence is so overwhelmingly clear concerning the patriarchal domination and demeaning of women, as well as the inequalities and gaps in female advancements and opportunities; and the blatant misogyny and sexism inherent everywhere and in everything in our culture from body image, educational, professional, and domestic issues, etc. is so concretely determined and obvious that I am utterly astounded you would be so unabashedly moronic and ridiculous. Apparently, you’re not concerned for your reputation. Why aren’t you taking responsibility for your wrongs and your perceived, unattainable, dystopian, conflicting patriarchal ideal Matt? You and patriarchal men, you are not fighting the problems with our culture, you are fostering them.
    By the way, I am a woman and a feminist, and you don’t understand feminism or women. Feminists do not have an “unquenchable thirst for infanticide” (that one sentence is so ridiculous and “fabricated” it doesn’t even dignify a response), they do not condemn women who choose and love domesticity, nor do they ignore the rights of others. Having been so oppressed, we understand more than anyone the desire and fight for rights and a better life. It is you who does not share a love and concern for all people, including boys, and their welfare. If you had the courage of your convictions you would be promoting “kindness” and “nurturing” in boys, as well as assertiveness and confidence, recognizing that these are cardinal traits that are foundational to both sexes in creating a happy and successful life for all.
    But there’s still time to change.
    We hope you do.
    We can use the help.

    Yes, these aren’t the only pertinent societal issues we face, and any reasonable thinking person recognizes that the male gender is steeped in serious problems as well, but obviously that is another topic for another day. You’re using words and wits to skirt around and belittle a long standing issue relevant to many but loathed by you because you feel threatened by it. I can only imagine that you’re trying to find an appropriately enflaming and provocative trending issue to increase and maintain your readership by embellishing “perceived” grievances and imagined threats to your manhood, and being grossly argumentative and insulting towards people you deem below you and your narrow fan base, hoping that you’ll win points for yourself while boosting your insecure ego. I know that sounds harsh, but I thought I would speak to you in your language so you’ll hopefully understand what I’m saying to you.

    With that said, you do make some valid points, in between all the negative bullshit, about some of the persecutions and problems dumped on boys; and also the exploitation and objectification of women by the entertainment industries. But your method of raising awareness is dishonest, demeaning, and ultimAtely harmful and negating in boys’ favor, as well as girls; however, that is because that ostensibly was not your purpose.
    If you truly are concerned about boys and these issues you purported to be, probably inadvertently and disingenuously, in this embarrassing tirade, then you had better do your research without bias and learn what feminists really believe and advocate, investigate the history of women with an emphasis on patriarchy, educate yourself in facts and de-educate from sinister patriarchal ideals and negative fabricated labels; then with sincere and benevolent intent make your statements.
    Until then, save your condescension, your ignorance, your histrionics, and your insulting pretensions and prattling nonsense for those arrogant, sycophantic fools without ambition to improve themselves or the world. Women aren’t interested. We have better, more constructive things to read and think about.

    • Tells Matt to ‘get real’ when he bemoans liberal feminists ‘nailing themselves to their own cross with their own perceived persecutions’

      Proceeds to nail herself to her cross of perceived persecutions for the next 3 paragraphs.

      It’s like a self case study. Someone who’s so determined to prove her group of people been slighted (not really even injured, but slighted) she first ignores how her group has been valued and protected and then further ignores how her ‘plight’ is overall less than the plight of mankind in general (because, often {But certainly not always}, women have been sheltered from the worst life throws at humanity)

      It’s like a fat north American 14 year old crying that they’re starving because they missed their mid-morning snack.

      We’re fighting the problems in the culture, feminism being one of them. We’re supporting the perceived harm of patriarchy to oppose the actual harm of feminism.

      • This post is funny because that’s exactly what Matt did himself? He complained feminists are banging on about trivial stuff like gender stereotyping of girls, then proceeded to bang on for a whole post about gender stereotyping of boys.

        • Javin says:

          Yes… He pointed out that feminists are “banging on about trivial stuff” like the word “bossy” only applying to girls… Which it does not.

          Then he proceeded to list real, serious issues affecting males that these women ignore while worrying about a “word applying only to girls” when it doesn’t.

          Sorry if you’re too dim to see the point.

          “Nailing yourself to a cross” involves inventing a reason to be crucified, and to martyr yourself (such as what feminists do). Pointing out ACTUAL stats and ACTUAL facts has nothing to do with martyrdom or crosses. It’s really quite simple for normal people to understand.

          But then, liberals are far from “normal…”

      • k23mt says:

        maybe women want a choice, and don’t want you assholes “protecting” us

    • nbackhaus9 says:

      What an intelligent and thorough response. Well said wolverinemadness!

  16. Palatine Pundit says:

    It’s the CHOOOOOSE!

    Those people ruin everything.

    Lighten up, it’s a pun.

  17. Anna says:

    There is nothing wrong with the word bossy. I am bossy and a strong willed person who loves to give direction. I do work on using it for positive influence and impact on others. Bossy doesn’t mean a person can’t be assertive. It doesn’t mean a person can’t be strong and accomplished and determined. I am all those things and thankful. But regardless of my qualities or yours, we should evaluate our strengths and weaknesses and consider how we can use them for the good of blessing others, not exalting self. I wish this discussion had never begun and people could spend more time and energy on more significan and real struggles in the world.

  18. Lisa says:

    On a lighter note…and I would hope we can all agree on this…an American household is in much better shape if it includes a LOVING, NURTURING, (in times of necessity) BOSSY woman.

    Without my presence, I’m not sure my house full of boys would still be standing!

  19. cboetcker says:

    “In other words, you’ve come up with a statistic that means nothing.”

    Sweetheart, when you use a line like this you should probably make for damn certain your statistics are correct and the conclusions you are coming to are logical!

    “But typical male aggression leads to expulsion…”
    Have you had experience working in the public school system??!!! I sure as hell have. I also have many friends all over America who work in the public school systems. Did you know it is next to impossible to expel students? While I taught a BOY created a chemical bomb and it released it in the hallway… luckily he was a terrible chemist and no one was hurt though it was his intention. He was sent to an alternative school and was back in our school in FORTY FIVE DAYS! Same story for the boy who brought a gun to school. When a boy got angry at me for turning his phone into the administration (after asking him 5 times in class to keep it in his pocket) he threatened to have his gang follow me to my car and jump me. He got one day of suspension.

    “Their opinions and their personalities aren’t just discouraged – they’re chemically obliterated.

    According to the CDC, more than 20 percent of 14-year-old boys have been diagnosed with ADHD at some point in their lifetime. Twenty percent.”

    I am sorry, why are there more boys on ADHD medicine… because the school forces this on them??? Ummm no, not quite! Parents choose to label their students even when teachers and school administration may encourage them not to! Why, you may ask?? Because when you are labeled with ANY learning disorder schools are required to give them special treatment. If as a teacher I forget any 1 of the million special treatments throughout a 9 week period I am required to give that student a C whether or not this child has ever turned in one assignment or even if he (she) never came to class. If I decided that is WRONG, this child never came to class, he(she) gets an F then my administration would go behind my back to give these kids a C in order to better the school grade. So please, please do not talk about how boys are treated in the school system if you have not spent some years in the school system because all these “perceived” problems in the school system directed at boys.

    “And it’s not just that young males tend to “misbehave” more; it’s that we’ve defined “misbehavior” in a way that unfairly targets them. The news is rife with stories of kids suspended or expelled or arrested for making a pretend gun with their fingers, or a Poptart, or a keychain, or a pencil.”
    Is this a terrible reason for boys to be suspended?? Absolutely! Does this happen all the time? Absolutely not!!! Of all the examples of students receiving discipline for making a “gun” I would say it is an infinitesimally small number of the total reasons boys are being disciplined.

    “Boys are frequently kicked out of school and sent hurtling on a path towards delinquency and failure, even for minor instances of physical aggression. Does it make sense to treat a kid like a dangerous psychopath just because he got into a minor shoving match or — horror of horrors — a fist fight?”
    Treated like a psychopath? Where the hell are you coming up with this? Okay so when fist fights break out in school what do you propose to do? The school should just allow it because “boys will be boys”? They clearly need more discipline than what schools are doing. Coming from a school where fist fights are the norm. Trust me schools aren’t doing enough. I was physically shoved by a student, threatened, and harassed… but hey, “boys will be boys” what’s a little boy aggression in the classroom. I guess I should have encouraged them to assert their aggression more in the classroom according to your post.

    Your ideas regarding the problem with boys ending up in jail more often than girls starts in the home. It has nothing to do with what you are fighting. You use meaningless examples and statistics to back up your argument that just do not fit. I get the frustration you have specifically with the “bossy” campaign. But how can you compare the “plight of boys” to back up this argument? All your examples regarding boys essentially back up the argument that parents need to do a better job practicing discipline in the home and has nothing to do with feminism.

    And do not state that ALL liberal feminists support abortion, pornography, and hatred towards the word bossy. The definition of feminist is “the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). The point of feminism should be equality… the end. Remember how you go on tangents about how the media portrays Christians in a particular light? Yeah, well you are guilty of doing the same thing towards feminists. Not all feminists get behind this “bossy” campaign and many are fighting against abortions. If you are offended by how the media portrays Christians as homophobic due to not supporting homosexual weddings then you should be extra cautious in how you portray other groups.

    • JSantorelli says:

      If the dictionary defined the Nazi part as “a political part in Germany with a strong sense of national pride” would you take it at face value? Let’s talk about HOW feminists go about “equality” and what their definition of “equality is.” The devil is in the details. I didn’t see any protests calling for women to be forced to register with the Selective Service OR protests that the Selective Service should be abolished by feminists. Even though there is no draft now men still can’t get drivers licenses without registering, federal/state employment, or financial aid for college. Perhaps you should look at the movement a little more critically then just running to 1 line in a dictionary. You do the same thing you accuse Matt of.

      • Feminists have been campaigning for women to be in the military for AGES.

        • JSantorelli says:

          When have they held a protest and started a public campaign specifically to legally require women to register for the draft or pay the price for not doing so? All they did was partially bank roll a Supreme Court case ages ago after being shamed into it. They have done nothing since the 80’s to advocate for a law requiring women to register. We all know they won’t because the Democrats would loose their reliable female base if they did support such a requirement.

        • basketthoughts says:

          Which is proof they don’t actually care about women

        • k23mt says:

          Why don’t you just campaign against the draft, instead of complaining about women?

      • zzzzzzz says:

        Thank you. Feminists love the “definition of feminism is equality” line of bullshit thought.

        Hate groups have used this type of doublespeak over and over, for example the Aryan Nation claiming their ideology is about “pride and love.”

        If we ignore feminist screeching that theirs is an ideology of ‘equality’ and look at the actions of modern feminists we get a very different picture: hateful rhetoric against boys and men, lobbying and voting against father’s rights legislation, skewing and lying about statistics in order to demonize men, protesting and pulling fire alarms when men try to form a space to talk about issues they face, constant attempts to censor and silence any dissenting opinion, and total disregard for issues where women have the upper-hand on men.

        Sorry – those of us capable of rational thought are going to need more than lip service about ‘equality’ to view feminism for anything other than a hate movement.

        • k23mt says:

          So you think rational thought doesn’t see the need for women to be able to leave abusive relationships and vote?

    • David says:

      You have a dictionary definition of feminism. Bully for you. That’s the definition of traditional feminism. Equal rights for all. I’m completely on board for that, and I suspect Matt would be too. Women should have the right to vote. Women should make the same amount of money as a men who work in similar positions with similar hours. The problem is that that definition of feminism is no longer valid. That’s not what liberal feminism or radical feminism are. Liberal feminists are the man-hating, tampons as earrings, I have to have the right to a surgically invasive procedure to destroy the growing child in my womb because nobody gets to tell me what to do with MY BODY crowd. Those kind of feminists are the people pushing forward the idea of rape culture and that all men are guilty of oppressing women. Radical and liberal feminists are the people pushing forward the idea that pornography empowers women instead of objectifying them and that abortion is a morally responsible choice that the woman, and the woman alone, can make. Matt’s point is that these are the people that make such ridiculous points as the Ban Bossy movement and that girls in society face incredible social challenges while boys get a free and easy ride to adulthood. Matt is trying to point out that boys face the same amount of pressure and challenges in growing up that girls do. Neither group has it any better or worse.

    • Jeff says:

      I don’t know where you work, but what Matt says sounds like the schools I have dealt with. Also sounds like you don’t have any children in public school.

    • TheApostlePaul says:

      *“But typical male aggression leads to expulsion…”*

      If “typical male aggression” led to expulsion, every school I ever attended (or taught in) would be half empty. Intellectual laziness, thy name is Matt Walsh.

      • ColdCase Fanatic says:

        Thank you ApostlePaul, I’m glad that you continue to call him out on his bullshit and laziness.

  20. Mike says:

    Oh Matt! I wish I had written this article. Men and women both have issues, we’re different, we’re yin and yang. Ban bossy might be the most childish campaign I’ve ever heard from women with obvious intelligence. But where was their intelligence when they invite Beyonce along for the ride, She work in a culture where women are vilified, and is married to a man who calls women “ho” (it used to be whore), and bitches. Does bossy even come close to those adjectives?

  21. Hannah Batchelder says:

    Thank you so much! I totally agree. Women can get away with much more than men. You have to walk on eggshells in order to not offend the feminists, while us women are free to do whatever we want without worrying about another sex. Let’s fight the real issues here, like pornography and abortion, instead of using all of that energy to be offended at a word that frankly, is often true. Thanks!

    • Women have to walk on eggshells not to be called man-haters, actually. Men can be as woman hating as they like and no one cares. Except feminists. Which for some reason a lot of you seem to be upset about.

      • Christina says:

        Your replies are getting pretty annoying. Grasping at straws would be the way I’d word it. I’m really interested in this thread but so far most of your comments have been total generalisations. Not telling you to change your entire belief system here, but you’re inches away from scraping the barrel and picking arguments over semantics. Open up your mind a little.

        In Western society, I believe that both sexes are walking on eggshells, but for different reasons. People who are naturally sensitive find reasons to take offence in anything that attacks their perceived self-identity or whatever group they identify themselves with. Ok, you’re entitled to do that- but if you or your group use rhetoric that is going to alienate others, you can’t possibly expect that no one will put up a fight against it.

  22. M.L. says:

    Matt, you do an awesome job in identifying the plight of American boys. I have two sons, one has a Autism Spectrum Disorder, the other is your average red blooded American boy. It wasnt until I became the mother of boys that I truly understood how boys are suppressed in the American education system. I am in a position to see how boys are treated from multiple angles–and it is extremely disheartening to witness. I laugh at the idea that people are worried about girls being called ‘bossy’ (and its usually by their OWN gender)–when those same people expect–no, DEMAND–that boys change their entire personality to fit their expectations!

    • Jeff says:

      I have a son with an autism spectrum disorder, and I know that it can be a serious problem depending on how greatly that an individual is effected socially. The more I have talked to specialists though, I am starting to feel like being a boy is an autism spectrum disorder. My son is certainly challenged socially. It hurts him because he knows it. Sadly, most of this awareness comes from the fact that he is not accepted by others. Makes me question where the real disorder is.

  23. Dawn says:

    Bravo!
    Being a wife and mother was my dream as a girl. Being a ‘stay at home mom’ in the 80’s wasn’t socially admirable. I stayed home for the first 7 years of the kids lives, but outside forces kept making me feel I should be a bigger contributor to society. I got a career in Sr. Management with a Financial Institution and was never truly content. I never had any desire to climb a corporate ladder. Now, with all my heart, I encourage my daughter and daughter-in-law to choose for themselves. They are home with their children and consistently have critics because of that decision. Women should have equal rights, Let them choose what they feel is right?

  24. So you ARE upset by sexist conditioning aimed at boys, but you think sexist conditioning aimed at women isn’t important so we should shut up? Lots of feminists care enormously about the social conditioning aimed at men, AND the sexist conditioning aimed at women. You seem to think we should only care about one. Coincidentally, the one which just so happens to impact you.

    People can care about more than one thing. It’s possible to be against the rampant sexism of Hollywood and also think it’s wrong to label young girls in a sexist way.

    In fact you’re missing a key thing about feminism here. We care about societal change, culture, structures, and history. It’s not about individual separated things. It is all connected. Young girls being taught they must always smile, always be polite, always be accommodating, always be ‘ladylike’, always be ‘modest’, and so on, these messages are almost certainly connected to the fact that, as you rightly point out, Hollywood portrays women as passive 2 dimensional sex objects, rather than people.

    Maybe if women were more assertive and successful more women would direct films and Hollywood would be less sexist?

    Maybe if more women were economically empowered fewer people would want or need to terminate their pregnancies?

  25. You start your article by citing “the absolute worst thing about liberal feminism” as being “the complete dismissal and denial of the unique struggles of modern boys and men”. I am here to tell you that that is simply NOT true. Feminism does NOT deny the fact that men experience struggles. You cannot read a singular specified article about the gendered tendencies of the word ‘bossy’ and assume that because they do not reference the infinite struggles of men, they must deny their existence entirely.
    Feminism does not deny the fact that boys go through trials and tribulations which may be different than those of girls. We do not deny the fact that boys also have struggles. We do say, however, that these trials and tribulations are often due to the binary construct of gender and the privilege of one over the other.
    First, it is important to realize that much of what we understand in society or otherwise is put into binary categories. Top/bottom, Black/white, Boy/girl, Big/small. In every binary system, one is privileged over the other.
    The fact that men are privileged over women in this binary system does NOT mean that women are the only ones negatively affected by the system. Because men are on top of this system, they are often held to higher standards of intelligence, education, success, and bravery (which often includes a suppression of emotion) and can lead to higher rates of suicide.
    I have never met a feminist who has disagreed with such occurrences. In MANY ways, boys and men are also negatively affected by this male-privileged society.
    That is not to say, however, that the amount of suffering is ‘equal’ between the two genders. It is, after all, a male-dominant binary. Men ARE the dominant/leading gender and society has been constructed around that. (And in fact, it may be perfectly logical to say that you are arguing that oppressors [men] are feeling oppressed by their own oppression tactics. By insisting on remaining a dominant gender, you are pushing these struggles onto yourselves and then arguing that your self-created struggles negate any argument towards oppression in the first place. Talk about “nail[ing] yourselves to a cross that you’ve carved and built yourselves, and demand[ing] that all the attention be given to your own perceived persecutions”. Well said.)
    Regardless, if it is so easy to see that boys and girls are BOTH negatively affected by the binary gendered norms in our society, then why be against change? I fail to see how arguing that boys are exposed to negative experiences based on their gender is in fact also arguing against the reformation of such a system.
    You claim that “Unfortunately, [women] aren’t apparently interested in attacking the institutions that do the greatest damage” and ask women to “attack our culture’s Unholy Trinity of Misogyny and Exploitation: pornography, Hollywood, and the abortion industry.” Regardless of the truths/opinions related to that statement, you later completely contradict yourself in saying that feminists blame the system, the same system which puts into place such issues as pornography and Hollywood perceptions:
    “It’s all the fault of the system, you’ll say.
    And you’ll be right.
    Except for one thing: you’re part of the system now”.
    By blaming ‘the system’ which puts things such as ‘Hollywood’ and ‘pornography’ into effect, we are actually placing blame exactly where you are asking us to. Once again I would like to point out that feminism as a movement is in agreement with you! Women are now a part of the system and a part of society, thanks to women’s suffrage and the second wave movement which has brought us closer to equal rights in the workplace. Thanks to that fact, we are now capable of attempting to effect a change in the system which we are now “a part of”. As a contributing part of the system, it is even MORE important for us to analyze and interpret the workings of the system which we are a part of in order to ensure that it is in fact a healthy , successful , and logical system.
    The system is the problem, society creates the system, and we are all a part of society. In this sense, there is no denying that we all contribute to the problem through our contributions to society as a whole- and yet still I fail to see how this is a sufficient argument against change.
    You also mention that boys are more likely to get in trouble in school for violent behavior and justify this behavior because “This is how boys often express their aggression”. Validating violent behavior simply because they are boys is equivalent to validating girls tendencies to “spread gossip and rumors, shun and ostracize other girls” simply because they are girls. I would like to point out that NIETHER behavior should be considered acceptable, and that similar to your “news stories of kids suspended or expelled or arrested for making a pretend gun with their fingers, or aPoptart, or a keychain, or a pencil”, there is also a huge rise in news stories and social media against the harsh and traumatic effects of gossip and bullying, and several cases of young girls being suspended and/or expelled for such acts.
    In addition, the fact that it is more acceptable and/or common for girls to gossip and boys to fight is because WE have put those gender norms into place. A boy is taught how to fight and encouraged to do so in order to solve problems, a girl is taught to be ‘proper’ in not taking out aggression so physically and must do so in a more subtle, backhanded manner. THESE are the exact gendered constraints which feminism attempt to remove.
    Lastly, I feel it necessary to address your misunderstanding of the income statistic. You are correct in saying that the statistic is not comparing men and women of equal rank among equally qualified jobs. This does not, however, mean that we have “come up with a statistic that means nothing”. The fact that by taking into account ALL of the jobs in the United States we are forced to “match the income of a hairstylist at Great Clips in Nebraska against the salary of a brain surgeon at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore” says something about the kinds of pay positions that women hold in today’s society. Today, female college graduates outnumber male college graduates by a full 25 percent! That is HUGE! And yet still we see more men at these high level jobs, like “brain surgeon at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore” and more women at the low level jobs like “hairstylist at Great Clips”. It is also interesting to note that a low level job often perceived as being for women, like a hair stylist, make significantly less money than low level jobs for men, which often include things like construction.
    Chalking this up to a woman’s choice not to become a CEO of a company is unfair. Women are often not considered for such positions based on the fear that they may become pregnant and require maternity leave and/or leave the company. In addition, women often choose to become stay at home moms because that is what our misogynistic society expects of them. Women often choose to deny the title of ‘feminist’ because of the negative connotations and harassment surrounding the term and put in place by men like you and articles like this one. Many women do not understand the arguments being made because of common lies and misconceptions about feminism like the ones in your article. Women who graduate college AND have a family are often unable to take CEO positions because they already have too many responsibilities between their work and home responsibilities, taking on an average of 67 percent of the household chores (2006 study conducted by Bianchi and applying to married women), and often a much larger percentage/role with the children in the family.
    In a more equal society, women would not be cornered into being unable or unwilling to accept these higher-paying positions and consequentially be making 77 cents to every male-earned dollar.
    I am not entirely certain if I have covered every aspect mentioned in your article, but at this point I have, like you, spent close to 1,700 words responding to an inaccurate article that is in reality worth little more than “an exaggerated eye-roll and a loud yawn” . So, I will leave it at that.

    • Bethany says:

      I think Rachel’s response to Matt is one of the best yet. Interesting how no-one has disputed it.

    • JSantorelli says:

      If you care about gender equality then dump the feminist label. It is as sexist as what it claims to be against. We don’t need feminism, we need equality. Your words are full of emotion that are channeled through biased statistics and references. Men underreport the hours spent doing housework because they don’t consider “mowing the lawn” the same way women consider doing the dishes which in many cases the dishwasher actually does.

      I started a petition on the White House website to get women to be legally required to register with the Selective Service. Sign it if you really stand for equality and encourage other women to do so too. It’s high time women take responsibility for feminism.

  26. Barbara says:

    Standing ovation, Sir, from this female who loathes beyond description all that feminism hath wrought.

    • Jamie says:

      You hate voting, owning anything, having a bank account, and being able to leave the house without a male escort?

      Very odd.

      • Barbara says:

        Jamie, I’m old enough to have seen that, regardless of the rights women believe they have gained, they, and our society as a whole, have lost infinitely more. The feminist movement was just beginning when I was a child. Most women were still homemakers and were quite content. Feminists had a tough sell convincing women that they really wanted to work outside the home. They never did convince most of the older women, but the younger ones bought into it. They bought into the lie that they could have it all; more material possessions, children who would thrive just as well under institutionalized care, and independence they could never attain without their own income. And of course, it was all optional. No woman would be forced to work outside the home. Well, here we are a couple of generations down the road and guess what? It’s not optional for most of us any more. Our economy is now based on a two-income norm and thus it is a huge sacrifice in most cases to keep Mom home. The babies are taken to day care and the grandparents to the nursing home because there is no one at home to care for them. We go to work taking care of strangers so we can pay strangers to take care of our own families. Yes, we’ve gained the right to vote and we have voted to trade our dependence on a loving husband for dependence on an impersonal & potentially tyrannical government. Is that really progress?

        • k23mt says:

          Apparently you just didn’t see the women trapped in abusive relationships, who deserved the power to leave them.

        • k23mt says:

          Not every woman gets a loving husband. Lots of women are just abused, and controlled. By their fathers, mothers, husbands, everyone. it’s incredibly disturbing how many women I’ve met who were raped as children. I guess if you’re not open to seeing it, you just don’t. Good for you, you apparently very lucky.

        • k23mt says:

          You seriously don’t think women having the right to vote is important?

  27. Rachel says:

    Can I just say Amen? As a young woman I am horrified at what so many of these liberal feminists do/say “in the name of women”. If we could all just accept, and even embrace, the normal & natural, God-given differences between men and women, and try to nurture and guide young boys into becoming MEN and young girls into becoming WOMEN (rather than trying to push both into some imaginary, genderless, I-can-do-whatever-I-want-without-concern-for-the-consequences fate), and do it with respect for both men & women without always pointing the finger at the other gender, we would have a lot less of the problems, both real and imaginary, that you pointed out in your post. Very well-written synopsis and I commend you for your courage in standing up for the truth in an era where that’s not only not PC, but it’s likely to make you the target of all kinds of attacks and name-calling and attempts to discredit you rather than trying to have an honest discussion. I’m not that old but I remember the days where people had the freedom to disagree (and could discuss it in a healthy manner as adults). I miss those days.

    • Hannah Batchelder says:

      Very well said! I’m proud of the differences that I have from men and I intend to use them in the proper manner. Feminists try to erase our femininity in order to promote our sex. Has it not occurred to them that what makes us special is that very femininity? Also, I believe that we are sometimes bossy, there’s no denying it. It helps to be bossy when you are trying to control children (again, a special trait when used in the right way). 🙂

    • k23mt says:

      I’m hungry, make me a sandwich.

  28. Pingback: Quotation of the day from an open letter to liberal feminists… | AEIdeas

  29. Here’s a crazy thought. Maybe we ladies are supposed to be virtuous and kind and nurturing–so that our children will be? Better yet, maybe if we let go of having to do every single thing a man does, we might find true freedom in being uniquely female? We play a different role than men AND THAT’S OKAY. Function has nothing to do with equality. The gas in my car is no more important than the oil; I need both to drive.

    • Hannah Batchelder says:

      Wonderfully said! 🙂 About the clearest comment I have seen so far.

    • k23mt says:

      We need to be able to protect ourselves from men, though…..not all of them are intelligent and respectful. Many are obsessed with control. That’s why they think feminists are on a mission to ruin their lives……they’re projecting their own abusive, controlling energy.

    • Christine says:

      Men who are virtuous, kind and nurturing, model an excellent example for their children too. Can a man be that for his family, as well as a leader in his community?

      When women attempt the same however, you suggest there is less freedom to be female because she does what is deemed men’s work? When a man decides to stay home to look after the kids (or he’s widowed and has to) losing freedom comes with the responsibility. But does that mean he’s not free to apply himself as a man to that role?

      Whatever responsibility we take up, there comes a loss of freedom. That has always been the case for both sexes. Whoever told you, that you can only express your virtue, kindness and nurturing in a stereotypical female role, was only sharing half the story. There are plenty of men and women who step outside stereotypes, either because they have to or want to, and they are still free to be uniquely male and female.

      • By no means, Christine!

        Just this past weekend I praised my own husband for the way he nurtures and loves our children–voluntarily and without complaint. He is an awesome father and husband and I am grateful!

        My comment was in no way intended to imply we shouldn’t take on responsibility as needed or embrace change when necessary; it is in response to the societal demand I have felt in my own heart to “do it all” or else I’m not enough.

        It took a while for me to realize I don’t HAVE to do it all and that I really didn’t even want to do ALL I was doing. God opened my eyes to the freedom I have to simply follow His plan and do my best in Him.

        My fulfillment is in Him, not in proving myself strong and able to compete with men.

        Hope this clarifies. You can know my heart more by reading my thoughts at http://www.notmyownblog.wordpress.org. Thanks for your feedback!

        • Christine says:

          Thanks for the clarification, I will visit the link you provided and say hello. 🙂

          It all boils down to personal experience with the subject matter. I don’t view feminism or what they represent as controlling me or taking away my freedom. I don’t know what other women’s experiences are, but I notice a lot of fear associated to feminism controlling them or removing their freedoms.

          I have followed this line of reasoning via others (namely Christian women) and was even prepared to believe it myself. I was prepared to believe that feminism made women have to do it all too. I was tried of trying to have babies, maintain a marriage and raise children. I was finding it difficult to cope with the assumption I had to go out there and earn an income like my husband too. I thought feminism was responsible for this reality for women.

          But after contemplating the bigger picture I realised there were other forces in the world that were always going to bring women into the workforce, in competition with raising their families. Namely greed. The world was not going to stop growing and sooner or later, either by choice or by force, women were going to have to enter the workforce. Some women became widows and had to work, even before feminism got involved. Women have always had to deal with missing spouses, and making ends meet. Feminism just allowed them a voice in the conversation about how that took place.

          So I no longer view feminism as being responsible for making me (and all women) have to compete with men in the world, as if we’re not female. I was raised by a single mother, so my experience has never really been that a man looks after you – not until my husband came along and we started to look after each other. But my experience with a single parent, has helped me empathise with those women who through forces beyond their own choices, brings them into carrying a lot of responsibility. They are still proudly women and if they are strong women its because of the circumstances they’ve had to face.

          I’m glad you praise your husband too, I love to do that with mine also. It’s beautiful how he cares for our children.

        • Christine says:

          Tried the link you supplied, but it took me to the generic wordpress.org website, not a personal blog.

  30. Lauren says:

    Ban bossy? How about instituting Ban B*tchy, a program where girls are encourage to stop being so cruel to other girls. If feminism is meant to empower women, they should strive to empower ALL women

  31. Androsynth says:

    Nobody who honestly cared about equality and the problems men face would have a single issue with your post. The claims of feminists here that they do care about these things, while subsequently attacking you and your post, and trivializing the problems listed within, proves how utterly disingenuous they are. I’m not sure who they think they’re fooling – they must be used to only engaging echo chambers, so that they can’t see how transparent they are to normal, rational adults, and how ridiculous their weak sheen of propaganda is.

    Only a delusional solipsist assumes that if men and women don’t act the same and pursue the same goals in life it must be because of some systematic conspiracy of oppression, as opposed to the choices those people make.

  32. TheApostlePaul says:

    You know, it’s funny…a couple of days ago, when this (characteristically ridiculous) post appeared, I threw out a legitimate question:

    Since the balance of gender power has swung SO far to the female side of the spectrum…since men are openly and brazenly discriminated against in today’s society…since young boys are pigeonholed and held back in school now…since the law blatantly favors women in every dispute from harassment to domestic complaints to custody battles…I bet you all wish you were women now, right?

    I asked to hear one story…ONE STORY…from a dude who honestly wishes he could have been re-born as a woman (hell, in this day and age, a pile of cash and the right surgeon can make this a reality). And, my query fell on deaf ears. C’mon, guys!! Not one…NOT ONE of you poor, oppressed Y-chromosome types is willing to make a compelling (or even a ridiculous) argument about how THEIR INDIVIDUAL life would be better if they were a woman. This blog allegedly has millions of readers and thousands of comments, and NOT ONE dude out there is willing to step up and say why, in the face of the damage The Feminist Movement has caused, they wish they could trade places with a woman. ANY woman. A RICH woman. A BEAUTIFUL woman. A POWERFUL woman. Or a woman who’s all three.

    Well, the answer’s clear, isn’t it? None of you would trade places with a woman…because it’s still pretty good to be the king, isn’t it?

    • J.B. says:

      Or, maybe – just maybe – people know better than to feed a troll whose presence here serves only to provoke a reaction. Radical thought, I know.

      • Jamie says:

        Considering this click bait article, and his subsequent article on how pit bull owners are child killers, I’m not sure you’re attacking the right troll…

    • hippiefreak says:

      Your request is silly to a man, for the time spent.

    • k23mt says:

      Ha, yeah.

  33. Reblogged this on kairoscolorado and commented:
    The author makes some great points that we experience when we work with incarcerated men. However, the last dot that needs to be connected is the dot to restoration of the role of Jesus Christ in American culture, with the virtues and standards of biblical living and loving. What do you think?

  34. Rachel says:

    Thank you for acknowledging that some women chose to raise children and are fine with accepting less income in exchange for that opportunity.

  35. Bo says:

    Brilliantly written and spot-on! As a parent of three children (two boys and one girl), I told all of them that they have my express permission to punch out anyone (1) physically bullying them or innocent others, (2) tries to sell them drugs, or (3) tries to sexually molest them. As a parent and citizen, I am sick to death of the emasculation of male children by radical feminists and their “zero-tolerance” policies.

  36. For you wives and moms out there who own your “Bossy” label, check out my recent blog post “When Daddy Ain’t Happy.” I think bossiness is something we girls do struggle with, and if we’re honest, the root of the matter is our fear of submission.

    http://notmyownblog.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/when-daddy-aint-happy/

  37. Pingback: Who has it tougher: Men or Women? Black or White? Liberals or Conservatives? | saturday afternoon photography

  38. Antonio says:

    Now we know why when I’m a parent, my kids won’t be going to public school. I wouldn’t even be opposed to sending them to single-sex schools.

  39. racheltoalson says:

    I weighted in earlier, but I have to add something else: If we are saying there is no war on women, we are walking blind. There is a war on women…just not this one. There’s also a war on men. And we should be fighting it together.

    Here are my thoughts on both wars.
    http://racheltoalson.wordpress.com/2014/03/17/there-is-a-war-on-women-but-were-fighting-the-wrong-one/
    http://racheltoalson.wordpress.com/2014/03/05/dear-society-boys-can-cry-too/

  40. racheltoalson says:

    And that should say “weighed in,” not “weighted in.” Geez. I’m an editor.

  41. Not Another Effeminate Whiner says:

    Matt Walsh, you’re a whining girly, probably impotent, douche. Get some character and backbone and then maybe you’ll mean something to more than just other impotent whiny douches.

    • Not Another Effeminate Whiner says:

      Yeah, moderate that as if you’d be MAN enough to allow a dissenting opinion see the light of day on your dainty blog.

      • mo says:

        Anything to say on the topic, other than childish name calling and insults?

        (Yeah, that’s what I thought.)

      • J.B. says:

        Well, he certainly did allow it to see the light of day. Are you feeling better after your little tantrum?

  42. Jill Vande Zande says:

    Matt, until you experience how much the world hates, or at a minimum discriminates against females, you have no standing to comment on how we’re treated. You truly don’t understand how much white male privilege you really have.

    • Mo says:

      @ Jill Vande Zande

      Nonsense. Women have declared themselves a special victim class and are coddled to a ridiculous degree. Males are the ones being abused into today’s American society, as demonstrated by all the evidence Matt provided. It’s interesting that you said NOTHING about that. Why not?

      And guess what? Your gender has nothing to do with whether something is true or not.That’s because facts are OBJECTIVE, not SUBJECTIVE. So it doesn’t matter what gender or color Matt may be, he gave facts here. That’s all that should matter. All the shrieking about “white male privilege” doesn’t change these facts. Contrary to what you were told in school, something is not true because it’s “true for you”. Everyone does not have their own truth.

      You are dismissing true information simply based on someone’s color and race. That makes you not only sexist, but a racist as well.

      Now, instead of calling me stupid names, why not instead deal with the things Matt said in this article?

      (Oh, and you can save your shrieking about my “white male privilege” as well. I am neither male nor white.)

    • JSantorelli says:

      @Jill: Until you experience how men are treated like worker bees and have society built on our backs you will never understand what men see everyday. We constitute most of the workplace deaths (95% non-military) that makes your modern complaining feminist life possible. Thank a man that you can sit behind your PC feeling like a scared little girl while he stares in the face of a coal mine, nuclear powerplant, or handing from a utility line to bring you electricity.

      Two can play your game of victimhood.

    • Danna says:

      Are you nuts????!! As one woman to another, wow are you so off base. Look, here’s the deal, men are falling all over themselves to protect us, to provide for us, to do things for us and you want to scream mistreatment and victimhood? Are there some bad guys out there, sure? But there are also pretty awful women out there. Overall though, men are great. I am a 46 year old woman and truly the vast majority of men I’ve encountered just want us to be nice to them and they’ll bend over backwards to do about anything they can for us. Do you understand how much privilege we have as women? Men literally run ahead to open doors for me, my husband works hard to provide for me (despite the fact that I’m fully capable of doing so for myself) and he looks for nothing more than sincere appreciation of his efforts (you know a Thank you), my husband and most men I’ve had relationships with in my younger years would step in front of a speeding truck to protect me, ever heard of “women and children 1st?”, if I’m in the parking lot of the home depot trying to lift something heavy into my car men I don’t even know offer to help me. I can’t remember the last time I opened a jar, lifted anything heavy, or climbed a ladder. Now, as I mentioned I’m 46 years old, not some 20 year old hottie. I’m almost always accompanied by my 5 & 7 year old sons so I’m really doubtful that I get treated so well because all these men are looking to score on the middle aged soccer mom. I get treated well because most men are good guys, and I try really hard to thank them and acknowledge that they are good guys. How about we quit vilifying them and acknowledge their efforts.

      When I was in the work place, before having my kids and choosing not to work anymore outside the home, I never experienced discrimination in the workplace (and frankly I worked in a heavily male dominated field – software engineering) I was paid very well and commiserate with my skills and experience.

      If you are truly experiencing “hatred and discrimination at the very least” out in American society I feel really sorry for you, because I don’t experience that at all.

      • k23mt says:

        Danna……not every woman has your experience. YOU have privilege, not all women. Maybe you should be more humble and grateful, and less flip and smug.

      • k23mt says:

        JSantorelli….men have always had a choice.

  43. Tony says:

    I don’t know who came up with the brilliant idea of telling women that getting into the porn industry is empowering them, but whoever it was is a genius in my opinion.

    Now the men who run this industry don’t even have to try to blackmail or trick women into the industry, they just let other women convince them they are empowering themselves.

  44. Josh says:

    Ugh… another anti-feminist missing the point completely. He begins the article setting up a straw man about what he imagines feminists are. Then, he provides what he believes to be a counter-point about children in school, but it is a completely unrelated tangent backed up by circumstantial statistics that mean nothing. What does ADHD have to do with male privilege? Different psychological conditions effect genders differently? I remember being friends with girls in high school that had depression and other psychological conditions that affected their behavior. You can’t just cherry-pick facts like that.

    If you say that men have it just as bad as women here’s a simple way to prove you wrong. Go outside for a walk at night alone. Were you afraid? Did you feel the need to walk with someone? If you’re a man, probably no. But most women I have talked to about this are consciously afraid, or play it safe at night because they’ve been told since a young age that they are ALL POTENTIAL RAPE VICTIMS. Don’t you see anything wrong with this picture? Check out the wikipedia page on rape by gender. Sure rape statistics are notoriously under-reported, but going by the current standings it’s 1 in 20 for women and 1 in 21 for men. Those numbers are pretty close.

    But if men are just as likely to get raped, do they go around with rape whistles, tasers, or pepper spray? Not usually. The point is women shouldn’t have to worry about rape at all! There is an inherent INEQUALITY here in the way we treat and view women in society. This can affect the workplace when employers feel women are less capable than men, and so they are assigned lower-paying jobs or not offered advancement (this was Matt’s most ludicrous statement, that women choose a lack of opportunity. What human being doesn’t want a raise?). These societal problems are pervasive, and they need to be fixed.

    The article is a projection of the author’s, and other anti-feminists’, inherent assumptions about women. They might assume women are the weaker sex, so they complain that feminists are trying to bring men “down” to their level. In fact, feminism recognizes that everyone, regardless of gender, has their own strengths and weaknesses. As a man and an American who cares about equality and justice, that makes sense to me.

    • Marcella says:

      I agree.

    • Androsynth says:

      Rape whistles, tasers and pepper spray are usually prohibited in prison, where the vast majority of male rape occurs.

      I see that feminists have taken the opportunity of this post’s comment section to once again out themselves as delusional solipsists who are driven to demean the problems men face even as they pretend to be for “equality.”

    • hippiefreak says:

      You ask, “What does ADHD have to do with male privilege?”

      Not much. And that’s the point that you missed. Walsh is saying that feminists do not acknowledge the real issues that happen to boys because they cannot tie such issues to male privilege.

      Hope that helps.

    • JSantorelli says:

      Women rape men financially and emotionally. We have to be afraid of false accusations and the courts. Numerous studies have been done and show it is a big problem but the women are never prosecuted. How about you dump your victim card and realize the scare tactics that you grew up with were just that, scare tactics to keep you inside. Sad feminists can’t see that one.

      http://www.wcvb.com/Restraining-Order-Abuse/12138374

    • Tony says:

      I’m not sure you understand what a straw man argument means…

      He starts off by linking an article, then goes on to talk about responses he personally got to his message, then follows it up with a direct quote. None of that is a straw man argument.

      Here’s how an actual straw man argument gets put together.

      1) Don’t provide any links or quotes
      2) Make up the other side’s position
      3) Argue against that position.

      See Matt replaced steps 1 and 2 with: providing both links and quotes, and saying what he personally received as arguments. Btw, Matt gets 100s, possibly 1000s of direct emails to him a week, and in case you weren’t aware, he doesn’t just post them all for everyone to read.

      How does walking outside unafraid prove anything again? My wife walks outside unafraid all the time…

      You are right, there is nobody that doesn’t want a raise, however there are many people who don’t want to take on more responsibility. If you’ve ever held a job at a company, you know that responsibility brings income faster than just raises do. Getting a promotion is by far better than just getting a raise for doing a good job. And there have been many studies done that show women go after promotions less often and less effectively than men. Go through Matt’s posts on the topics, he references them often. Women are more apt to stay in a job longer to master it before taking on a new role and women are more prone to accept the first offer on pay in negotiations rather than haggling for more in order to avoid confrontation. Again, go through Matt’s blogs, he links to these studies often. Or maybe you just don’t ever click on those blue words he constantly provides?

      As far as claiming that Matt thinks women are the weaker sex, you obviously don’t read very many of his blogs, he has great respect for women. And your views on feminists don’t really include progressive feminists that are most vocal in the news and media. Sure there may be feminists who think the way you lay out, however they aren’t being nearly as vocal as the ones tearing down men and bullying other women into their views instead of celebrating everyone’s opinions.

    • Erin Judy says:

      Brilliantly said, Josh. Bravo.

  45. L. Owsley says:

    Read Ephesians. It has a beautiful description of our relationship with God and family.

  46. hippiefreak says:

    You ask, “What does ADHD have to do with male privilege?”

    Not much. And that’s the point that you missed. Walsh is saying that feminists do not acknowledge the real issues that happen to boys because they cannot tie such issues to male privilege.

    Hope that helps.

  47. David Beemer says:

    Dear Matt, I’m the father or two wonderful young women ages 24 & 22 and once I started reading your post I couldn’t stop. Every now and then you read something that just rings true and you nailed it. Thanks!

  48. As a (proudly, unapologetically) feminist parent of a boy who is deeply invested in thinking through the problems you bring up about how we socialize boys and men, I am disappointed that you couldn’t find a way to foster a good discussion of those issues without taking up so much space and energy demonizing “liberal feminists.” Which is more important to you, opening up conversation about boy culture or taking pot shots at your perceived political enemies? I ask this because I think you might find that many “liberal feminists” really are interested in the same things as you – but not in taking part in a discussion that’s more about putting them down than figuring out solutions to these very real problems.

    I am so tired of the accusatory, vitriolic tone of so many contemporary discussions about parenthood, from all political camps. I don’t think I’m the only one.

    • mo says:

      @ findthosehorcruxes –

      “I am so tired of the accusatory, vitriolic tone of so many contemporary discussions about parenthood, from all political camps. I don’t think I’m the only one.”

      You mean like yours here? Where you’ve addressed nothing that was said in the post?

    • JSantorelli says:

      @findthosehorcruzes: For starters, Matt didn’t demonize liberal feminists. They demonize themselves. Let me ask you this, when was the last there was a public campaign as visible as “ban bossy” for boys? Right, there never has been one. There sure have been lots of emotional campaigns though slamming, berating, and shaming boys. Ever hear of the “She Fears You” campaign? Or the work by Christina Hoff Sommers “The War Against Boys” that shows how the AAUW manufactured a girl crisis to prompt action that has hurt boys in schools?

      Liberal feminists are not interested in the same things as Matt. They may pay lip service to them to cover their backs from being called hypocrites but they do not DO anything positive for boys. In fact they don’t only disparage boys, they actively prevent people who want to do something to help boys from helping. Why is Dr. Sommers ignored? Why has recent studies showed that female teachers grade boys lower that an outside independent committee? Why do young boys come home in tears because they feel like teachers like the girls better? Why are 60% of college grads females but not one dares to talk about affirmative action for that?

      Liberal feminists only take interest when they have an opportunity to spread their vitriol and steer the debate their way. None of their actions / policies have shown any care for boys. Most write odes of poetry about how their irrational fears and blame men for that.

      Look, I understand you want a “girls club” but cringe at the thought of being excluding from the “boys club.” Get over it. You want to make progress towards gender equality, drop the feminist label. I’m for equality but will have nothing to do with feminism. Feminism by its deeds is about female dominance and the feminine ego. If you care more about preserving the “girls club” then you are not about gender equality.

      • mo says:

        JSantorelli –

        Well done! Let’s see if there’s any response.

      • k23mt says:

        Maybe males aren’t as smart. 😀 Maybe you guys should just stick to manual labor and such, and stop trying to be something you’re not.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @k23mt: How many female Einsteins have we had? Schrodinger? Jobs? Gates? Newton?The list goes on. I think many women are afraid of and envious of male genius that knocking us down is the way they make themselves feel better. Typical “mean girl” tactics that women use against each other.

          I now know why our ancestors confined women like yourself to the kitchen. Look at the strife you feminists sow. Rather than wasting money on stupid “women’s studies” we could use it to solve real problems like hunger, the energy crisis, etc. Instead we waste it on your ever changing and irrational feelings.

        • k23mt says:

          Men have a long history of taking credit for women’s contributions. There are plenty of intelligent women, lol. What is with your apparent obsession with Women’s Studies? I haven’t even taken a Women’s Studies class. You’re the one who keeps bringing that up.

        • k23mt says:

          JSantorelli…..lol….how am I keeping you from doing anything?

        • JSantorelli says:

          And how is any man keeping you from doing anything? Feminism is the western world is a moot point. You have your responsibility-free right to vote unlike men who do have a responsibility. You can divorce a man, take his house, deny him equal access to his kids, and demand payment from him. He however cannot demand anything of you. You can cry rape and he has to prove he is innocent but you do not have to prove he is guilty. You can file an order of protection against him because he forgot your birthday and that made you “feel sad.” He has no way to fight that without spending $1000’s on a lawyer. A man has to pay more for healthcare under the ACA even though women use it more. Few of the services and offices afforded to women under the ACA were extended to men. Must be great to be a woman, get everything you whine for, and leave men with the bill.

    • Wilson says:

      How could a discussion be possible with a woman who is so politically committed that she will sacrifice her own son?

      • mo says:

        @ Wilson

        Indeed! I always wonder why man-hating feminists even bother having children, especially boys!

    • k23mt says:

      You’re not the only one.

  49. Jessica says:

    It’s ignorant for a man to feel the need to comment on something that only women experience. I have witnessed assertive women deemed “bossy” by sexist men in the workplace. I’m sure that boys have societal pressures put on them as well in school, but I’m not sure how this cancels out the issue that young girls are taught from an early age to act as society sees fit. This article is poorly written because it has little counter argument in response to the actual topic and just keeps bringing up irrelevant points about how boys are raised in comparison and death to feminists ranting. There’s nothing wrong with a woman being nurturing, but the issue is that women are sometimes discouraged from taking on leadership roles and attitudes. I live in a state where women are paid significantly less. This is a proven fact and not a biased statistic––same job, same qualifications, less pay. I understand that crazy vehement feminists aren’t anyone’s favorite person, but at the same time I am really bothered by people labeling someone a demon feminist just because they mention women’s rights.

    • JSantorelli says:

      And if someone mentioned men’s rights you wouldn’t be bothered? About that statistic you cite, where is there reference? What job(s)? How many hours do both work? Your victim complex is not a credible reference.

  50. Danna says:

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank You! I am the mother of 2 young sons and what is happening to boys out in our society scares the hell out of me. My boys are perfectly normal, active, exuberant kids. They like to pretend to “get the bad guy” and “protect the princess (or town or whatever)” and wrestle and play sword fight and act our the shoot out at the OK Coral. They also love to read and to learn (yep at 5 & 7). But we’ve opted to homeschool, in large part because as a society we’ve pathologized boyhood. We’re raising the men that society needs, and the men that women want as husbands. For all our talking about stomping the aggression out of boys, we want husbands who will protect and provide and make us feel feminine. Can’t have it both ways ladies. I’m so incredibly sick and tired of hearing about our “patriarchal rape society” from my feminist friends. When I hear this I end up thinking, “wow you really need to hang out with a better class of guy, because the guys I know are great and nothing at all like you are describing.” Get a clue ladies, men are not our enemies, but keep treating them like they are and they could become just that. BTW, before having kids I ran my own company, made a 6 figure income and really enjoyed it. When my oldest son was born, he was so much more interesting and important to me than anything I’d ever done professionally that with my husband’s full support and encouragement I quit, shut down the co and became a stay at home, homeschool mom. We’ve never been happier.

    • JSantorelli says:

      God bless women like you, a dying breed!

    • k23mt says:

      And absolutely every woman’s experience is just the same as yours! All we need is your finger wagging to lead us all to bliss. We should just forget about the women men hurt. They don’t matter, they’re not us. Thank you so much,

    • k23mt says:

      I don’t think you’re a real person…..I think you’re some sort of MRA plant…..

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