An open letter to liberal feminists: girls don’t have it any worse than boys

Dear Liberal Feminists,

A couple of days ago I wrote about a new feminist campaign called “Ban Bossy.” I won’t rehash the topic, but if you somehow missed out on the latest Outrage Du Jour, allow me to sum it up thusly: some female celebrities and feminist business moguls have come together to invent another petty reason to feel offended and persecuted. This time, they’ve decided that the word “bossy” is sexist.

I dedicated about 1,700 words to picking this silliness apart, which is probably about 1,700 words too many. I think, at this point, an exaggerated eye-roll and a loud yawn is all this sort of unbearable politically-correct sophistry deserves.

Yet, from this concocted controversy, a real and urgent issue has revealed itself.

You see, my Ban Bossy post was met with a myriad of comments from feminist women who claimed that, starting from a young age, girls are discouraged from being assertive and opinionated, while boys are lauded and praised for displaying those characteristics.

As the ladies behind Ban Bossy wrote:

“We expect boys to be assertive and confident, while we expect girls to be kind and nurturing. We encourage boys to lead and reward them when they do. When girls lead, however, we disapprove—and our language communicates that disapproval clearly.”

Here we arrive at the encapsulation of nearly everything that is wrong with your movement, liberal feminists:

First, the ugly insinuation that there’s something wrong with expecting girls to be “kind” and “nurturing.” A thousand pages could be written — and probably have been written — on that chilling aspect alone.

Second, there’s what has quickly become the absolute worst thing about liberal feminism (next to your unquenchable enthusiasm for infanticide): the complete dismissal and denial of the unique struggles of modern boys and men.

You intentionally steer the conversation away from the trials and tribulations of the other gender, in order to exaggerate, or entirely fabricate, misogyny and sexism. You nail yourselves to a cross that you’ve carved and built yourselves, and demand that all the attention be given to your own perceived persecutions.

Concentrating for the moment on children, there is no doubt that girls face profound obstacles. Unfortunately, you aren’t apparently interested in attacking the institutions that do the greatest damage to these innocent girls.

If you sincerely intended to be warriors for femininity and champions of female empowerment, you’d dedicate almost all of your considerable resources to attacking our culture’s Unholy Trinity of Misogyny and Exploitation: pornography, Hollywood, and the abortion industry.

If you had the courage of your own convictions, you’d wage your feminist crusade against these institutions. Instead, you throw a party and make them your honored guests.

Meanwhile, as you regurgitate useless “War on Women” rhetoric for the billionth time, boys continue to languish and deteriorate in silence. Their distress is ignored because you simply can’t figure out how to work it into your “male privilege” narrative.

Inconvenient though it might be, liberal feminists, I’d like to discuss the reality.

Here it is:

Boys — particularly boys in public school — are most assuredly NOT encouraged to be opinionated, assertive, loud, boisterous, or confident. Do you know what happens to boys like that?

We punish them.

We label them.

We medicate them.

Their opinions and their personalities aren’t just discouraged — they’re chemically obliterated.

According to the CDC, more than 20 percent of 14-year-old boys have been diagnosed with ADHD at some point in their lifetime. Twenty percent.

Boys are 125 percent more likely to be stuck with the ADHD label than girls, and 127 percent more likely to be medicated for it.

I suppose we can chalk this up to a mental disorder that mysteriously discriminates based on sex, or we could contemplate the possibility that we have turned boyhood into a disease. Overall, young males are almost twice as likely to be deemed “learning disabled.” Could boys really be this inherently flawed, or is the system itself flawed?

Whether or not a boy manages to exhibit the “correct” personality traits and narrowly avoid a psychiatric diagnosis, he has a much greater chance of being expelled or suspended from school. In fact, boys make up about 70 percent of the suspensions from grades K – 12. They’re also five times more likely to be expelled from pre-school.

And it’s not just that young males tend to “misbehave” more; it’s that we’ve defined “misbehavior” in a way that unfairly targets them. The news is rife with stories of kids suspended or expelled or arrested for making a pretend gun with their fingers, or a Poptart, or a keychain, or a pencil.

These are healthy and normal games of imagination and fantasy — games that boys, not girls, usually play — and we’ve literally made a criminal matter out of it.

Boys are frequently kicked out of school and sent hurtling on a path towards delinquency and failure, even for minor instances of physical aggression. Does it make sense to treat a kid like a dangerous psychopath just because he got into a minor shoving match or — horror of horrors — a fist fight? This is how boys often express their aggression. Girls express it in more damaging and traumatizing ways. They spread gossip and rumors, they shun and ostracize other girls, and these acts can reverberate through a child’s life much further and deeper than getting pushed into a locker or punched in the nose.

But typical male aggression leads to expulsion, while typical female aggression usually leads to, at most, a stern lecture from the guidance counselor. To make matters worse, we’ve banned and outlawed the healthier outlets for a boy’s energy and rambunctiousness. Schools have increasingly prohibited tag, and kickball, and dodgeball , and football.

Of course, the plight of the American male is far more serious and tragic than a ruined recess.

Feeling abandoned, angry, hateful, and confused, guys are about 4 times more likely to kill themselves than girls. It’s true that females attempt suicide at a higher rate, but males are at an exponentially greater risk of completing the horrible deed.

And the story doesn’t end there. While (if) these boys grow into men, it is much more probable that they will become alcoholics and drug addicts.

Everyone knows that men are infinitely more likely to go to prison, but did you know they even receive longer sentences for the same crimes? Indeed, women convicted on the same charges are twice as likely to avoid incarceration altogether.

Is this what you call “male privilege”?

Privileged to be drugged as a child, expelled from school as a teenager, and incarcerated as an adult? Privileged to bad grades, a psychiatric diagnosis, and an early death?

Sure, you can argue your case by throwing around the same old misleading statistics. How much money does a woman make for every dollar a man makes? Is it 77 now? 81? It doesn’t matter. Better question: how did you arrive at that figure.

Wait, do you even know how you arrived at that figure?

Here, I’ll help. You came up with that number by taking all men who work over 35 hours a week in any industry, at any experience level, in any region of the country, with any skillset, and you’ve compared them to all women who work over 35 hours a week in any industry, at any experience level, in any region of the country, with any skillset. For instance, you’ve matched the income of a hairstylist at Great Clips in Nebraska against the salary of a brain surgeon at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore.

In other words, you’ve come up with a statistic that means nothing.

You can tell me about the scarcity of female CEOs, but I wonder: have you even asked other women if they want to be CEOs? Pew has, and they found that a majority of females have chosen — emphasis on CHOSEN — family over business aspirations.

Women also tend to choose — again with the CHOOSE — careers that pay less and have fewer opportunities for “upward mobility.”

Women still face incredible challenges, but the worst of it comes from a culture that mocks virtue, attacks the institution of the family, and encourages materialism and hedonism at the expense of faith and chastity.

Liberal feminists, you are not fighting this culture. You are fostering it.

And, as we speak, this same society victimizes boys in the most insidious ways, all while you distract us from their plight by focusing the discussion on some frivolous, fabricated slight against you.

These boys — told for years that they are troublemakers and nuisances, broken, disordered and diseased — will eventually become young men; young men, emasculated and confused by a culture that preys upon their weaknesses and makes them feel ashamed of their strengths.

One day, they will wish to marry. They’ll seek a kind and nurturing woman, a woman who values children and family, and in you’ll swoop with the fury of a thousand Gloria Steinems. You’ll tell them that they are evil for wanting a woman like that, just as you scold and condemn the women who are like that.

You’ll tell both parties to reject what is natural and healthy, and instead pursue your unattainable, dystopian, conflicted, ever-changing ideal.

And, as the divorce rate climbs, as more babies are killed in the clinics, more boys drugged in our schools, more girls exploited and objectified by the media, you’ll take responsibility for none of it.

It’s all the fault of the system, you’ll say.

And you’ll be right.

Except for one thing: you’re part of the system now.

You’re part of the problem.

And you have been for a long time.

Here’s the good news: if you want equality under the law, you have it. You’re done. You can legally do everything a man can do. Welcome to modernity, thanks for coming.

The bad news is that we still do not live in a perfect society, and we never will. There are still people who need helping, flags that need hoisting, and battles that need fighting. Unfortunately, you’re often on the wrong side of these efforts.

But there’s still time to change.

I hope you do.

We could use your help.



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1,170 Responses to An open letter to liberal feminists: girls don’t have it any worse than boys

  1. leo says:

    I went through all the things Matt talked about when I was in school. Luckily my parents refused to medicate me. Our education system is geared towards making women succeed and men fail. Eventually my folks put me in private school and I excelled. I remember having a teacher who only let girls wear their hats in class, when I said it was sexist she gave me detention. You may think this isn’t a big deal, but it has an effect on a young person’s mind.
    I’ve spent a lot of time recently trying to debate so-called feminists and I’ve discovered you can’t. If you don’t agree with them they launch into an immediate assault of insults and accusations, they hit you with anything but a cogent argument.
    Personally I’m a huge advocate of women’s rights. I think it sucks that more women make minimum wage, deal with sexual assault more often and a host of other issue. All I ask in return is that women recognize that there ARE indeed issues specific to men that are being ignored. However, feminists seem to not want to even admit it, mainly cause they are just as narrow-minded as they accuse others of being. It’s made me wonder if I should tell that idiot at the bar to stop harassing the waitress, or explain to my brother why he should tip the waitress and other things. If the feminists don’t want to recognize the trials of men then they don’t care about equality. So why should I?

  2. calisugarazn says:

    Reblogged this on Bite Me I Dare You, The Adventures of a not so Asian, Asian girl and commented:
    I was just thinking about this topic

  3. Jessica W says:

    As I started reading and right before the “we punish them” line I thought we medicate them…
    I also am a mother of 2 daughters and I have to say I have raised them to be confident , strong, intelligent and opinionated young ladies. they have their battles as any teenager. But I have always tried to teach them to let a ” man be a man”. don’t feel the need to emasculate one in order that they (my daughters) feel successful. and to be conscience of possible role reversals. my daughter spotted in the weight room as a freshman with Varsity football players. and can bench and leg press right along side of some pretty strong guys. but she has no problem letting someone hold a door open for her, or helping her even if she is strong enough to do it herself. BTW I’m a US Marine so I am not a shrinking violet myself. but having been delivered from the liberal feminism I was bombarded with when I was younger have come to appreciate things that have been lost almost at our own doing ; such as a man opening a door for a lady, standing when a woman enters, pulling her chair out etc etc… How can we as women emasculate men but then complain that there aren’t any good ones left??? so before I even finished reading your article, in a house filled with estrogen, I had the same thoughts of what you shared. so be encouraged , regardless of the haters out there. There are still women out here who want men to be men and women to be women. while whatever that means for each of us may look / play out a little different doesn’t mean we have to criminalize everything we don’t like.

    I will say however, the one thing I have always hated is when someone will not discipline children but instead say boys will be boys.!!! No , children, including and perhaps especially boys need to know that boundaries exist, and consequences exist. but I think discipline and boundaries are closely intertwined with some of the problem liberal feminist complain about it and the condition of our society and relationships – it probably would take this conversation in a different direction then the original intent of this article.

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  5. Lisa Bryant says:

    Thank you for this. It is a succinct commentary on ‘modern feminism’. Based on baselessness and rhetoric which does not fairly represent the truth.

  6. Jennifer says:

    Knocked it out of the ballpark, Matt. AGAIN. Whoop!

    “Everyone knows that men are infinitely more likely to go to prison, but did you know they even receive longer sentences for the same crimes? Indeed, women convicted on the same charges are twice as likely to avoid incarceration altogether.”

    Just ask them about Mary Kay, the wicked witch who slept with a 13-year-old child in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. The sicko and her sickened ex-victim are now married, so some trumpet it was true love all along.

  7. k23mt says:

    You make a lot of points here I can totally get behind……over-medicating, overreacting to “fight play”, lack of recess……but, I believe your frustration is misdirected at feminists. Yes, some radicals miss the mark, but it’s still really other men that are causing problems for boys. I just read your rant about My Little Pony……perhaps the values expressed there aren’t so bad for men and boys to embrace. Maybe supporting bullies who want to beat a sense of friendship and respect out of them is a bigger problem than feminists.

    Maybe we need more male elementary school teachers. Maybe it would make more sense to teach the value of a male academic presence at that age than to complain about women doing a job most men seem to not want to do.

    • JSantorelli says:

      @k23mt: The reason men don’t want those jobs is because feminists have done such a good job painting men as sex crazed violent animals that people would be uncomfortable to leave their children in ones care. Men can have their careers ruined by mere accusation alone (thanks to feminism) because feminists want a red carpet for emotionally self-centered women. Would you jeopardize that? How many boys do you think get hired for babysitting jobs? How many parents do you think if given a choice would choose a male babysitter over a female one especially if the children are girls? Ever hear of the “She Fears You” campaign? It gets public funding and auditoriums. That’s a real great way to show men they are respected as human beings!

      Do you support affirmative action for men who want in on elementary education? Scholarships for men? Preferential hiring? Well, feminists don’t and men have no advocacy groups to organize these efforts like women do for STEM careers. Feminism in its entirety is a radical movement that uses a misleading definition to justify its true agenda which is lesbian separatism and control of men.

      • mo says:

        @ JSantorelli

        “Feminism in its entirety is a radical movement that uses a misleading definition to justify its true agenda which is lesbian separatism and control of men.”

        That’s the best definition I have ever heard! Perfect.

      • k23mt says:

        Men are not demanding elementary school jobs, and being discriminated against. I suspect you’ve bought into too much MRA propaganda. The numbers show most men don’t want to deal with little kids, just complain about how women do it.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @k23mt: And women aren’t demanding leadership positions en masse but that little fact hasn’t stopped feminists from crying discrimination. After all, the feminist line is women don’t want leadership positions because they feel discriminated against. Why do you think its any different for men that might be interested in elementary education but are afraid to pursue it because he might come off as a “kiddy fiddler”? Women in leadership are called bossy, and men in elementary ed are sneered at for being “kiddy fiddlers.” Get the point or has your feminist indoctrination blinded you to the injustice it has wrought against men? Feminism is little more than machismo in skirts, but relies on its lemmings like yourself to think otherwise to further the sisterhood.

        • k23mt says:

          You don’t even know me. Maybe you should calm down and ask questions before making assumptions. There is nothing deterring men from being elementary school teachers. You are either making things up, or buying into things others made up.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @k23mt: And there’s no one stopping women from getting into leadership positions either, yet we have a ridiculous campaign underway saying the exact opposite. To boot, its based on skewed statistics which is typical of feminist propaganda (

        • JSantorelli says:

          “You don’t even know me. Maybe you should calm down and ask questions before making assumptions. There is nothing deterring men from being elementary school teachers. You are either making things up, or buying into things others made up.”

          Says who? You? I’m a guy and I know better than to work around kids because when sexual accusations come up men are routinely denied a right to due process (Duke Lacrosse boy, false domestic violence suits, etc). Of coarse you are in disbelief because you aren’t a guy and none of it affects you. You think men aren’t discriminated against as far as kids are concerned read these articles and learn:

          I bet Woman’s Studies 101 didn’t discuss these issues. Hmmm….wonder why?

        • k23mt says:

          JSantorelli…’re being very emotional, and irrational. It’s hard to have a civil conversation with someone behaving that way.

        • k23mt says:

          Lol, I know plenty of men who work around kids, and don’t have any problems.

        • JSantorelli says:

          And I know plenty of women who soar in their jobs and have no problem. Now feminism can go away since its not needed by your simplistic standards.

        • k23mt says:

          Lol, I haven’t said one word about women in leadership positions. Or even identified myself as a feminist. You don’t seem to be very good at making a point, or staying on topic. Good luck to you, growing up will make you a happier and more psychologically stable person. 🙂

        • C. Heretic says:

          Actually, I would like to help with the kids’ Sundays School at my church, but I don’t for two reasons: 1. I don’t want to expose my family to that kind of liability. If a kid gets hurt, or hurts another kid, or, I’m accused of something. (I once worked at a daycare, & two little adolescents were discovered cooking up such a story to get me fired–and probably worse–because I expected them to behave themselves–one guess at to which gender they both were.) 2. I don’t want to have to deal with the parents. I know how they can be. I would have no say in how parents were handled. It wouldn’t be my show, so I couldn’t, “fire,” them as customers like a Martial Arts studio instructor I know can–and does at the first sign of static. Without the ability to protect my family, or be respected enough so that my decisions are respected, it’s something I’ll continue to avoid. As for Public School: 1. there should be no such thing. Private & Home school only. If people want their progeny to succeed, they’ll find a way to teach them what they need to know. 2. Since there is such a thing, teachers have very little disciplinary discretion, & constantly get flack from parents who coddle instead of raise their children–speaking from personal experience. 3. Low pay, low decision-making ability, high liability & the stress that goes with it–No, Thank You.

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  9. Julia Grigsby says:

    As usual, your posts are highly accurate and incredible. You leave no stone unturned and hit every nail on the head. I have so often thought these things about liberal feminism myself, but am not capable of articulating as well as you.

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  11. The Radical One says:

    It was actually the way before feminism that women were sentenced differently than men though that didn’t always mean shorter time. Before feminism there were indeterminate sentences for women and mandatory for men and also a woman’s marital status had to be figured in as well for her husband could be held responsible for her. The sexes should not be treated the same in life because we are not the same. Besides men should be given preference in careers and college to enable them to take care of women and provide for families. Most people don’t actually realize this and actually blame feminism for such so called unequal treatment. Treating the sexes differently where it is logical to do so (which is almost every area of life) actually equalizes the differences between the sexes. Men should be responsible for themselves. Women should be turned over to their husbands or fathers if possible unless she is out of control in which case the law will have to intervene and deal punishment.

    • RationalAlways says:

      radical one is a good name, because your thoughts are incredibly unenlightened and give zero credit to women. we (all people) are all in this world together and yes we are different. but it is that difference that makes each of us wonderful and unique. we experience this universe like nobody else. your comments are insulting and demeaning to women. i have daughters and a son and i have taught all of them equally how to think and decide for themselves what is right and wrong. i don’t need my daughter’s future husband deciding for her.

    • ErinAlexandra says:

      Here Here!

  12. k23mt says:

    You don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about. You’re a selfish asshole.

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  15. manu2404 says:

    Muchas gracias de verdad

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  18. Tapeman says:

    I think that you are being rather unfair to the feminist movement by lumping everyone involved into the same group of people who refuse to see both sides of the issue. I also think that you, yourself, are choosing to ignore a lot of the truth in what feminists fight for. There is definitely still a lot of sexism in our society, and it is going to take a while before we are at a point where it does not exist.

    That being said, I also think that you have a lot of very good stuff to say here. There is a lot of truth in the point that when a man is treated unfairly, nothing is done, and when a man does something wrong, it is generally scrutinized and seen as being far worse than if a woman had made a mistake.

    On a personal note, I hold doors open for anybody who happens to be close enough to warrant holding a door open, male or female. Unfortunately, my attempt to be kind has been interpreted as being sexist in the past, simply due to the fact that the people I was holding the door open for at that time were all women.

    Of course, I think this has less to due with feminism than it has to do with the point that people are not, apparently, allowed to do anything kind in today’s society without having some sort of exterior motive……but that is a whole ‘nother issue. Thanks for listening!

  19. Bastet says:

    All you’ve managed to do here, is change the subject, blame feminists as opposed to institutions, government policies and governing bodies and come up with exactly zero solutions. What’s the point?

    • JSantorelli says:

      @Bastet: And who do you think is responsible for those bad policies and corrupt institutions? Feminists! They are a special interest group like the rest who only care about their interests. Sadly, young boys succeeding is not beneficial to feminist interest. What better way to economically “empower” women than to pull the rug out on boys? This is a classical tactic. Read Dr. Christina Hoff Sommers book “The War Against Boys” and learn how the American Association for University Women (AAUW) fabricated a study they later had to retract on the “girl crisis.” Feminists are the biggest envious group on the planet that seek one thing, destruction of men.

  20. Christine says:

    After discussing this article with my husband, he said any man who is prepared to make such a negative issue out of ban bossy, is someone filled with more insecurity than confidence. He sees no problem with women being shown respect, especially if they don’t want to be called something as unflattering as “bossy”.

    As for the various issues you’ve raised relating to boys, my husband survived childhood with many of these issues too. He’s a father to our children (one boy and girl) and learned the futility of shaping their lives, around what he believed he failed as a young man. In other words, he stopped blaming the labels others gave him, and admitted where he didn’t apply himself instead. There are no unfair courts, when the judge and jury is yourself. He then set about changing his behaviour from the inside, as an example for his children to follow.

    Perhaps if you weren’t so busy finding blame in people who like to improve their worth, you’d find the appeal of finding worth in others too. I looked at the ban-bossy website, and didn’t see anything warranting the kind of ire you’ve demonstrated in this article. You seem to think little girls should be called bossy, just because you don’t see it needs removing from social vocabulary? What does that say about your modelling the change in behaviour, you so adamantly believe boys require today?

    How would you address boys misbehaving in class? Would you allow them to continually talk over you, push other boys and girls around the room, and put it down to being misunderstood by feminists? Would you let them call girls names, knowing that its hurting them, because boys are just naturally more boisterous than girls and they shouldn’t be so sensitive? Would you tell the girls in class to shut up and stop trivializing everything, for opening their mouths?

    I’m glad I married a man prepared to carry his own baggage, instead of getting me to lug it around for him, while continually blaming me, his mother, sisters, aunts and teachers for his lot in life. Try taking responsibility for your own baggage, instead of getting other women to carry it around for you. I don’t say this to you as a woman. I say this as one married to a man, so confident in his authority, he need not find fault with a woman. It’s his delight to praise and uphold them instead.

    That is purely because he *chooses* the better part of himself for others. He can appreciate women for all their strengths and flaws, and still regard himself a powerful man afterwards.

    If ban bossy was really as trivial and insignificant as you’re making out to be – how hard is it for a man to respect such a request? Not very hard at all. But you would make it seem like pushing a camel through the eye of a needle, and wondering why it cannot be done.

    • Wes says:

      One of the more sensical comments I’ve read on this post.

      • Christine says:

        A lot of what was written, was reflecting my husband’s feedback. Even though I had my own thoughts, I really wanted to hear his. It shouldn’t have surprised me, but I wasn’t expecting the extent of enthusiasm he felt towards the campaign. We both stumbled across it independently, and it wasn’t until I asked for his thoughts that I realised he’d heard of it.

        I mentioned some of the criticisms that came from other men, and expected he would explain it was a guy thing and why. I wanted to know if I was missing something only a guy could see. He surprised me again however, when he said it was a man’s issue to respect women.

        I know who he is, I see it every day, but he demonstrated again why I respect him.

    • JSantorelli says:

      “He’s a father to our children (one boy and girl) and learned the futility of shaping their lives, around what he believed he failed as a young man. In other words, he stopped blaming the labels others gave him, and admitted where he didn’t apply himself instead. There are no unfair courts, when the judge and jury is yourself. He then set about changing his behaviour from the inside, as an example for his children to follow.”

      Well Christine, the supporters of ban bossy should take your advice and stop crying foul when there is none. It is a campaign based on a skewed interpretation of statistics and that’s by a woman’s analysis ( The only insecure ones are women who feel the need to ban words to preserve their glass-thin self-esteem.

      • Christine says:

        This is something I have gleaned from my husband’s example, not something I have thought of myself as a woman in isolation or defiance of men…but it says a lot about a man, when he’s only prepared to find the worst in something. My husband has shown an example, to put your best into the world no-matter what the world is returning.

        By your example, communication in society about women’s issues is considered crying foul. By your example, if my husband makes choices to provide a better example for his children, it means this campaign should be criticised for not doing it a man’s way. He does not put himself in competition with women or labels. He’s in support of causes and actions which demonstrate respect to young people, by not criticising them with mediocre words.

        He would not wish to project onto any woman or developing young lady, the worst of his experiences in the world. Not by his own mouth nor by his own hand. He’d rather demonstrate respect instead. Because if his God-given strength has meant anything, it is to overcome for the betterment of others.

        If a man considers his strength was made to criticise and stand-back to watch those learning, to trip over themselves so he can mock – then he has not come to value his strength and why he was given it. A man’s strength is given for a greater purpose than himself. It is a humble man who recognises this, and makes daily choices to value it.

        I am a woman, and my opinion may not always be right – but I met a man who gave me the incredible gift of seeing, how great a man can actually be. I would want other boys to know that future (where they beam in the darkness for others to see) is possible for them too.

        I read the article you linked to (thank you for providing it). I don’t wish to break it down to its individual parts, but will add this instead – I’ve notice two different responses to the word “bossy”, to challenge the Ban bossy campaign (1) why make such a fuss, it’s just a word; and (2) maybe someone “is” just bossy. Both interpretations illicit a response. In the first instance (1) don’t think about it, and in the second instance (2) think about what it means I’m saying about you.

        Such ambiguity is why its best not used as a tool of communication. It lacks clarity, usefulness and yet its designed to hone in on individual contributions. When there are developing minds involved, clarity as an example is more useful than ambiguity. It could be said of many other words used in our society too.

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