A list of situations where it’s OK for a man to hit a woman

Let’s begin, shall we? Here are the THREE scenarios where it might be acceptable for a man to punch a woman:

1) Never

2) Under no circumstance

3) Anytime, with the exception of every time

Oh, also never.

I don’t mean to insult your intelligence. “Never hit a woman” is an age-old axiom, and one to which most men (hopefully) subscribe. Don’t blame me for my writing this post. It’s not my fault.

Here in Baltimore, the town has been buzzing about the story of Ravens running back Ray Rice, and his “altercation” with his fiancée last week. He was arrested for assaulting her at a casino in Atlantic City; it should be noted that his fiancée was also arrested for assaulting him. We still don’t know all of the facts of the case, and the only “evidence” released to the public is a grainy video of Rice dragging a woman out of an elevator. Today, police confirmed that Rice did, in fact, knock his fiancé unconscious.

I don’t want to get too hung up on the specifics here, because the real story, to me, is the public reaction. It’s true that we don’t know all of the particulars, and Rice hasn’t been found guilty. But it does seem rather apparent that he did strike his fiancé. The police say he knocked her out, and video footage appears to lend credence to that claim.

Now the question around the city, and around the country, is this: could there be a scenario where Ray Rice — professional football player, built like a boulder, absorbs high speed collisions with 300 pound defensive linemen for a living — would be justified in punching his woman?

And the answer that I’ve read online and heard on talk radio quite a bit over the last few days:


Whether Rice is guilty or not becomes the lesser issue. The real problem is that so many people assume he is and are still willing to make rationalizations for him.

I was curious to get a better feel for society’s changing views on man-on-woman violence, so I took to Google. I found this on Debate.org. Question: is it ever acceptable for a man to hit a woman? Fifty percent say “yes.”

The arguments on the affirmative side seem to make all of the same sorts of points that the Rice defenders are making:

-Sometimes women hit men first.
-Sometimes a man needs to defend himself.
-Women want equality, so they shouldn’t get special treatment.
-It’s sexist to say that a man should never hit a woman.

I remember insisting on a few of these points back when I was five years old and my dad first warned me that I must never hit a girl, even if she hits me first.

Really, there are only three reasons why someone would try to use these arguments to defend woman-beaters: 1) They are under the delusion that men and women are inherently identical, and there is therefore no reason why our gender differences should ever be accounted for or acknowledged. 2) They know that men and women are inherently different, yet they justify violence against women in order to exact some kind of karmic vengeance against feminists. 3) They are children.

Of all three options, the folks in category 2 are the most cowardly and despicable.

Obviously, women have been known to start fights with men. Women can be abusive and violent. Women can deliberately attempt to provoke men. I am not defending these kinds of people, or their behavior. These women — those who attack men, or verbally assault them, or intentionally try to coax them into becoming violent — are lowlifes. They are morally reprehensible and they will answer for their sins one day. But it’s not up to you to “teach them a lesson.” No matter how offended a man might be by the actions of a woman, he is not magically granted an exemption from the rule.

“But what if she’s trying to kill you? What if she has a gun? What if she’s an steroid-infused female body builder and she’s trying to crush your skull like a raw egg?”

Clearly, if your very life is truly in jeopardy, you are not called to prostrate yourself before her and die in the name of chivalry. But I can’t conceive of a situation where you would need to punch a woman in order to save your own life. The Ray Rice case only highlights the absurdity of the assertion that a man might be required to beat his wife or his girlfriend in the name of “self defense.” Did Rice really fear for his safety? Does anyone believe that?

In most scenarios, the solution is simple. If a woman hits you — walk away. Call the police if you must. If she has you backed into a corner and you need to restrain her, then do so. The goal is to leave the situation or diffuse it. Retaliation is not acceptable.

Besides, you could throw a thousand hypotheticals at me, all of which distract from the large preponderance of cases of man-on-woman violence. In most situations, men hit women not because they believe it to be necessary for self preservation, but because they believe she deserves it. They do it because they are angry. They do it because they want to release their aggression.

They do it because they are bullies. They do it not because they are tough or “macho,” but because they are emasculated wimps looking for an easy target.

Real men don’t hit women. That’s not because all women are saints; it’s because all women are women. Men, in general, possess physical powers that give us the ability to dominate the other gender. If we lived by the laws of the jungle, women would be oppressed and enslaved. They are the weaker sex, and there’s no amount of PC hand wringing that will ever change that fact.

Men must choose to harness and control their physical superiority. We have to use it, when necessary, in defense of women. If we allow ourselves to use our strength to assault women instead of protecting them, we have debased ourselves and defied one of the central human characteristics which separates us from animals. Among beasts, the stronger tramples over the weaker. If the weaker makes an affront against the stronger, the stronger will annihilate the weaker. So, sure, if you wish to be more like a dog, then ignoring civilized society’s prohibition on man-on-woman violence is a good place to start.

Now you’re halfway there. You’ll be crawling on all fours and growling at the mailman in no time. Congratulations.

It’s true that “never hit a woman” is a longstanding cultural convention. But only a fool tears down a convention simply because it’s conventional. And what those fools fail to understand is that all of these “silly” and “old fashioned” rules and codes governing male-female interactions were never based on any notion of one side being “better” than the other. It’s not that women can’t be hit because women are blameless goddesses, or because men are more mature and evolved so they are held to a higher standard. The real reason — or one important reason among several — is that we are all better off if we remain the sort of society that expects men to be the sort of men who would never strike women.

That’s the problem — or one serious problem among several — with this New Age, hazy, greyish world where humans are treated like machines, and the differences between genders are seen as purely mechanical: it doesn’t make us better. It doesn’t make us happy. The more we buy into it, the more hideous and miserable we become.

Here’s what happens next:

-Some liberal feminists will accuse me of being misogynistic and patronizing.
-Some whiny dudes will accuse me of sucking up to feminists.
-The “men don’t hit women” position will be characterized as feminist propaganda AND anti-feminist propaganda, all at the same time.

In the end, it’s none of these things. I don’t say that men shouldn’t hit women because I’m a feminist, and I don’t say it because I’m not a feminist.

I say it because I’m a man, and because I think being a man means something.

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541 Responses to A list of situations where it’s OK for a man to hit a woman

  1. Laz says:

    “1) Never

    2) Under no circumstance

    3) Anytime, with the exception of every time ”

    You’ve obviously never had to deal with bull dykes.

  2. Pilgrim of the East says:

    If woman strikes me, I’ll not beat the shit out of her, I’ll just show her, that thinking, that men never hit women, is flawed so she doesn’t hit next time someone, who won’t refrain from beating the shit out of her.
    So yes, I in fact support notion of teaching women a lesson. What’s even more appalling about me, that I’ll do the same thing even to 10 y/o kid (unless its parent are close, in which case I’ll demand they discipline their kid) -. The most appalling about me is, that I’m not a least bit ashamed of it…

    • venus214 says:

      Your use (rather misuse) of commas hurts my brain. Unless you’re trying to inject pauses for deep, angry breaths so that your whole comment reads like a bad script from the WWE. Additionally you clearly don’t actually know the meaning of the word “appalling” because if you were appalled, you would be ashamed, and if you are not ashamed, it is not appalling to you. I only bother replying to you at all because I’m certain I am more likely to have an affect on your neanderthal-esque grammar and vocabulary than on your considerably more neanderthal mentality.

  3. MikesMojo says:

    If anyone man or woman insists on using violence on me I will also do likewise. Anything less is a man being a pussy and inviting further abuse from his wife, GF, etc. This dies not mean beat to unconsciousness, but a backhand works wonders and will likely insure a woman never acts up again.

    • Eva says:

      Ooh, watch out guys, we’ve got a big tough macho one over here… No messing with this one ladies. He’ll ‘backhand’ you, but not to the point of unconsciousness, because he’s a manly man. How inspirational. A man every woman dreams of meeting.

    • wander19 says:

      So when you are “acting up” does she get to backhand you with no retaliation? What is it exactly with the phrases “putting her in her place” and “acting up”? She isn’t a child or someone beneath you. No, I do not believe women should be hitting their husbands/boyfriends. But you are bringing yourself to their low level by striking back, that is classic playground lessons. But your attitude of ‘a backhand working wonders’ is disgustingly proud. That doesn’t earn you respect, that earns you a seat in a cell.

    • Dylan Galvin says:

      You cannot seriously be this stupid…

      Words like these do not help my faith in this species. Firstly, you have proven your obvious gender bias and ignorance by using terminology for female genitalia to somehow reduce the imagined value of a males “manliness”. Secondly, the statement in its entirety seems to scream of an insecurity on your part, since after reading this entire article, you can somehow assert that a man needs to hit a woman in order to avoid abuse as if all the men in the world who hit women need to protect themselves from the big bad women who are just beating them all.

    • k23mt says:

      Lol…..if being a “pussy” means taking abuse without retaliation, why exactly are you so afraid of women?

  4. Love this post. Agree with you one hundred percent. For all the ladies who take offense at having a man “protect” you? You’ve probably never had it happen. I love it when my husband stands closer to me because he perceives a threat to me or the kids. Men should never hit women. It is a cultural rule of decency that we’ve had for generations and it should continue. If it becomes the fashion for men to hit women, I for one will find it necessary to carry an equalizer of some sort and I won’t be alone. Women should never hit or attack a man either, but again, in civilized society a man would not hit a woman unless his life was truly in danger. No three hundred pound football player is at risk from a woman unless she has a bat or a gun.

  5. Danny Awesome says:

    I feel like instead of “never hit a woman,” then, the sentiment should be “never hit anyone who is smaller than you.” If your argument is that it’s never, under any circumstance okay to hit a woman – because women are weaker – that should also extend to other men who are weaker. Therefore, you should never, under any circumstance hit anyone who is weaker than you. That doesn’t make much sense to me, but it aligns with the premises asserted here.

    • Nathan Green says:

      I think this is true. Taken to its logical conclusion the rule should be, “never hit anyone who is weaker than you.” This would be a great rule to protect children, the disabled, smaller/weaker men, etc.

      In fact, the only reason I could see to disagree with this is to be a bully.

      Now, obviously, as Matt even says in the post, you are allowed to stop violence but not retaliate or escalate it.

  6. ck says:

    You may, in proper defense of third persons (e.g. she’s got a gun pointed at the head of a child).

  7. military widow says:

    My son grew up with “never hit a woman”. Years ago he met a woman he loved a great deal. Through the course of the relationship she began to say very mean and petty things to him. One telling remark was that he was now a bastard because his dad had died. Over time the cruelty escalated and she began hitting him. He stayed because he loved her. He put up with it because he loved her. The true turning point for him was when she kicked him between the legs and as he was bent over began to strike him on the back and head with a wire clothes hanger. Now my son is a big guy at 210 lbs and she probably weighed in at 110 soaking wet. He NEVER laid a hand on her. I begged him to leave her, my fear that it would only get worse and he finally did leave. YES, YOU CAN WALK AWAY. He now has a lovely, gentle woman in his life who is not only his best friend but greatest supporter.

  8. Dean says:

    This is one of the most shallow, thoughtless, and hypocritical pieces I’ve ever read.

    1. Shallow: NEVER hit a woman… Really? If she is coming at me with a knife, I must let her stab me and bleed me out. Then my wife and children are without a protector, provider, Husband, and Father.

    2. Thoughtless: Blanket statements are almost always replete with logical failures. The author is saying I can never spank my daughter because she is being a horrible brat and beating up other children who are smaller than her. Thus, I am not allowed to discipline my daughter in a corrective way. The usual rhetoric is that spanking is child abuse, which is another blanket statement without thought. Child abuse is child abuse. It causes harm. Spanking does not cause harm; a little bit of pain from the sting, but no damage. To say otherwise is the same as saying disagreement with the President (whichever one is in office) is being a traitor to the USA.

    3. Hypocritical. The “NEVER HIT A WOMAN!” philosophy is not so much about protecting women as it is about pandering to bullies. What is “hitting a woman”? Is it blocking an assault and pushing them back, as I’ve had to do recently against someone in a drunken rage? Maybe I should have let her break my nose and scratch my eyes causing blindness; that is the author’s advice.

    To say it is never right to hit a woman is so the author can brag how concerned he is about a woman’s safety and that men and women are soooooo different that we must let women do everything they want and a man has no right to stop and defuse a violent insane woman simply because the aggressor is a woman. A human being with a violent rage is a person in a violent rage regardless of gender.

    • August says:

      Actually, I read a study on disciplining of children and how the different gender perceive the discipline and spanking your daughter is a no-no. Girls tend to internalize it and they will begin to believe that they are subhuman if you spank them whereas boys do not do this. So, you are wrong. You should NEVER spank your daughter.

    • Nathan Green says:

      1) Actually Matt addressed this in the post. He said it in relation to self defense but it also goes for the defense of others, “Call the police if you must. If she has you backed into a corner and you need to restrain her, then do so. The goal is to leave the situation or diffuse it. Retaliation is not acceptable.”

      2) Actually spanking is one of the worst forms of discipline and does a horrible job of teaching. The fact that you think violence against a child will teach a child not to be violent is rather twisted logic anyway. Trust me there are much better ways of teaching and disciplining children than hitting them.

      3) You only think it’s hypocritical, and accuse him of pandering to bullies, because you ignored the four sentences I already quoted in response to #1.

      • Josie says:

        Thank you for pointing out that Matt addressed the use of self defense against a woman. He does address it and quite well.

      • gworple says:

        If spanking is horrible punishment, then it follows that other violent punishments are horrible. When police try to control adults, they should not ever use force to restrain or detain anyone. Prisons should have no armed guards. Militaries should be equipped with roses.

        In adult life, I don;t start fights because I would go to jail, escorted by big men ready to shoot me if I escape. You are pretending that all society is not built upon threat of force controlling erratic use of force.

        • Nathan Green says:

          I’m not pretending that at all. I am however acknowledging that there is a vast difference between using the threat of punishment to deter adults from actions detrimental to society as a whole and removing them from such when the threat is not enough on the one hand and using fear to teach children within the confines of an otherwise loving relationship. Fear has no place in a loving relationship, and the threat of punishment is rooted in behavior modification techniques that have BOTH been proven false by science and which go against scripture.

        • These I post because most people will ignore anything that isn’t New Testiment:
          1Pe 2:17 Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.
          Eph 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

          This I post because fear, threat of punishment, and love all come in one verse.
          Jer 49:5 Behold, I will bring a fear upon thee, saith the Lord GOD of hosts, from all those that be about thee; and ye shall be driven out every man right forth; and none shall gather up him that wandereth.

          Ecc 12:13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
          Ecc 12:14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

          Nathan, why talk about scripture if you don’t read it?

          If you knew about ‘science’ you would have at least said ‘psychology’ if not ‘behavioural psychology’ with specific schools of behavioural psychology to back you. Though to be frank its pretty clear you don’t know much about how psychology (or ‘science, to use the dumbed down buzzword of our era’) actually works in regards to making conclusions on such things…

          Fear is related to respect and part of love. Summed up best here:

          Deu 10:12 And now, Israel, what doth the LORD thy God require of thee, but to fear the LORD thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the LORD thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul,

          (Note 1st John 4 is in the context of final judgment, as Gill put it it’s a slavish fear rather than a good and proper filial fear, the inability of our modern culture to make a distinction between the two is the reason why many have such a problem with ‘fear’ in a relationship. It is terrible hermenutics to take 1 John 4:18 as a standalone axiom and make it overrule the whole of scripture as well as its immediate context.)

          To be colloquial, if a parent won’t teach a child to do right or have proper fear of punishment, society will have to do the punishing for them when they grow up, and it’ll be a lot harder and longer than any spanking or time out. gworple is quite right in the correlation he made.

    • AB says:

      I think you missed the part where he says: “Clearly, if your very life is truly in jeopardy, you are not called to prostrate yourself before her and die in the name of chivalry.”

    • AB says:

      I think you missed the part where he says: “Clearly, if your very life is truly in jeopardy, you are not called to prostrate yourself before her and die in the name of chivalry.”

    • Emmy says:

      Obviously, you did not quite understand the article. The author said that it is totally acceptable to defend yourself but never right to escalate the violent situation. In a case of disciplining your daughter, of course it is alright to do so, just as it would be okay to discipline your son (if you had one). The problem comes when a man (or a woman) feels the need to hurt a smaller individual in order to elevate himself or stroke his own ego.

  9. Alex says:


  10. Tim Harvey says:

    I think that much of what has been posted in the way of comments here has been focused on the violent fringe of male/female interactions, and of some cases in the extreme between people who are not in a relationship. What I have seen in my 26 years of public school teaching at both the elementary and high school level, both in my students and in my colleagues, is that the vast majority of females tend toward being passive and are never physically agressive while males are much quicker to resort to physical agression. Since the majority of males, by their late teens, are significantly stronger than the majority of females, there is a much greater possibility of male on female violence inside marriage or s/o relationships. Given this imbalance of physical power in an intimate relationship, this is where I sense that Matt is drawing the line of “hitting a woman is never OK.”

    • MikesMojo says:

      Yet this positive masculine energy is shamed in most boys and these same boys are being indoctrinated into a more androgenous belief system.

      Most boys and men will never hit a woman for no reason, but when a woman commits violence towards a man or if she does something particularly egregious then a firm slap may be required. This is not abuse its discipline and for millennia it was not only corrective but required. Now we have women who have gone feral. They have no sense of discipline and they certainly do not respect men. Much of this is because of posts like this one.

      I dont know any man who would hit a woman because of some outside event he is upset at, drunk, etc. However I know some men who have no problem discipline their wives infrequently and lo and behold their wives are very well behaved and respectful.

      • Jean says:

        You seem to believe full-grown adult women are as intelligent, capable, and responsible for their own behavior as are small children or ill-behaved dogs.

        No, don’t tell me, let me guess — you’ve gone through multiple divorces and it was never your fault, it was always that bitch you chose to marry. Amirite?

        • JSantorelli says:

          Well Jean, lets look at the animal kingdom which is overwhelmingly matriarchal in nature. You have cannibalism, savagery, and violence. Single moms seems to give rise to some of the same products as the matriarchal animal kingdom. I think this says something about the ability of females to raise the next generation. Today’s generation is verbally abusive and disrespectful to elders. The only thing that has changed is the rise of feminism. As women take over, society decays. Sure we had problems in the past but with women at the helm all that has been exacerbated.

        • Eva says:

          The ONLY thing that has changed for today’s generation is the rise of feminism?
          So the last generation had all the technology and external media influences and political and educational interference that our generation did?
          Feminism was good. It got us women the vote, the ability to go to the same universities and get the same jobs and have the same financial independence that men have. It allowed women to have more to look forward to than learning to sow, cook, clean and having babies.
          Feminism, like any other movement, has its extremists. Those weirdos who don’t shave their legs and say it’s for feminism, those crazy people who want to dominate men, but don’t judge the entire movement of feminism by these idiots.
          Feminism was a great thing and is responsible for a lot more good than bad.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Eva: Of coarse you think feminism has been good overall, you’re a woman. Read Dr. Christina Hoff Sommers book “The War Against Boys” and learn about how feminist policy has been affecting boys in school. Thanks to feminist policies and politics boys are failing and steam rolled over. They are falling far behind their female counterparts and every time someone like Dr. Sommers tries to take a stand about it they get shut out or shut down. Men have eroding rights to due process as well. False allegations can be levied against a man with little proof and the accuser is never punished (http://www.wcvb.com/Restraining-Order-Abuse/12138374). Here is feminism’s legacy, using the police power of the state to oppress men.

        • Eva says:

          @JSantorelli: Yes, I’m a woman 🙂 and now, due to feminism, I can go to school with boys and study with boys and be better than them. They have ample opportunity to be better than me and some of them are.
          Thanks to feminism, I’m at a great university studying to be a doctor, with boys, and, yes, I’m better than some of them.
          Thanks to feminism, I can vote for or against Scotland’s (where I’m from) independence.
          Thanks to feminism, I can have sex with my boyfriend and not be judged for it. I can get pregnant out of wedlock and not be judged for it. If I do get pregnant I can make my own choices. If my boyfriend or my father wants me to get an abortion I don’t have to. If they don’t want me to I still can. If they dragged me to a clinic and forced me to have one they’d go to jail. And they’d deserve it.
          Thanks to feminism, I don’t have to be afraid to speak out if I’m assaulted or raped by a man. In fact, thanks to feminism, if I wanted, I could go to law school and become a lawyer who sends men who think they can treat women like possessions to jail. Or I could train with men to be a police officer and catch the men who commit these crimes.
          Thanks to feminism, I can make my own money and when I get married, it doesn’t automatically become my husbands.
          Thanks to feminism, men and women have equal rights

          Thanks to feminism, men are sometimes accused of sexism and misogyny when they speak out against women.
          Thanks to feminism, women are occasionally favoured over men in cases where the man is accused of assault, or in a messy divorce.
          Thanks to feminism, men are occasionally told off for being sexist when they open a door for an irate feminist extremist. (But you should be able to man up and get over that.)

          Pros vs cons – clear win for the pros.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Eva: Eva, let me sum up your diatribe in one sentence: Life is all about me, I only care about me, and anyone who doesn’t agree with me is dirt beneath my shoes.

          Using your logic we should be praising the Nazi’s for their dedication to animals rights. I guess as long as you can sleep good at night it doesn’t matter that boys are failing out of schools because of twisted feminist policy. It doesn’t matter if a man looses his kids or his house. It doesn’t matter if a man looses his livelihood. Nah, none of that matters because as long as you got your money who cares about those “evil males” who deserve it. Right?

          You are the prime example of a spoiled brat. All you care about is yourself and your sex life. All feminists are extremists because they are fueled by anger from perceived injustice. You display that perfect while whining about what you do with your vagina. Honestly, if you want to go do the town, enjoy it. If you want to go raise a baby on your own, poor child. Women are sadistic in that they dominate men by using children as a wedge to “feel powerful.” News flash, preying on the weaker doesn’t make you stronger. It makes you pathetic, but then again that is probably a better description of feminism than anything else.

        • mommyx4boys says:

          Are you talking about feminists or all women

        • JSantorelli says:

          I’m talking about any woman that calls herself a feminist, exploits / manipulates men, and/or does not stand up against a system that gives preference to women over men. As Eva clearly demonstrates, she doesn’t care about anybody but herself which is indicative of an angry obsessive individual. Such individuals act purely on self-centered emotion and cannot reason beyond anything but their anger from perceived injustice.

        • Eva says:

          Actually Santorelli, I care about a lot of things. I care about my family, including the male ones. The majority of my friends are male and I care about them. My boyfriend is male and I love him more than anything – suprisingly even feminism! I care about many things, and the fact that I am grateful to people like Emily Davison and all these other feminists, many of whom were tortured (by men), forcefed and killed in the name of feminism because they are the ones that I owe all my priveleges to. That doesn’t make me ‘selfish’ or a ‘spoiled brat’ who ‘only cares about her sex life’. It means the opposite actually. You’re acting as if the 1900s are back and the roles are reversed so now boys are forced out of school at 14 and made to serve us women. You’re acting as if all women regard men as second-class citizens, as if we treat them like pets or slaves. Women love men! Men make us feel safe and protected. Men make us feel loved. They make us laugh. They make us feel beautiful and sexy. They make us proud to be women. And being in school with men and learning about women’s suffrage and the long battle they fought to get us to where we are today – that makes me so damn proud and grateful. It does NOT make me selfish. What you said just makes you sound bitter and resentful.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Eva: Boys are being forced out of school by feminist policy and hatred. There was a recent study that showed an outside independent committee awarded boys higher grades than their feminist teachers were. They were being discriminated against because of feminist hatred for men. Read Dr. Sommers book “The War Against Boys” if you really care about men. Women have elbowed their way into everything and been sticking it to men for the last 50 years. I think feminism’s poster girl said it best, “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Yeah that’s real kind and demonstrating appreciation for the male half of the species! You look at what you want and discard the negatives because they don’t affect you if you know what they are at all. Women do not love men, they love power and themselves.

          Suffragettes are different from feminists in that they were largely Christian. Also, universal voting rights did not exist throughout history. Men got universal voting rights 70 years before women in the US. Before that a poor or middle class man did not have the right to vote. Also, men have had to pay for that right since the beginning of time. Ever hear of the draft / Selective Service? We had to fight for those rights with our blood / lives and not just march in the streets. Women never had such a legal / social requirements. When women are required to register with the Selective Service post back. You can sure bet they won’t be “marching in the streets” for that the way they do for abortion / contraception anytime soon. Where are all the “draft us” rally’s? You want equality right? Well, take the responsibility that comes with it!

      • Liz says:

        “I know some men who have no problem discipline their wives infrequently and lo and behold their wives are very well behaved and respectful.” ROFLMAO They are women not dogs. And dogs should not be hit either. Nut job. You and the men you know better enjoy the company, of a woman, for the short time you’re likely to have it. There are too many great men with integrity and respect for any woman to put up with the likes of you.

        • Eva says:

          I know! It’s appalling!
          Imagine if we women were saying “oh it’s fine to give your husband a slap now and then to discipline them, I know plenty of women who do it and lo and behold their husbands are much more respectful and well-behaved.” We’d be getting all sorts of crap from men about us being typical feminists, treating men like pets (such as dogs – haha.) We’d never hear the end of it.
          Men and women may not be totally equal, but a relationship such as a marriage requires them to have equal ground, equal status and equal rights. A submissive-dominant relationship is for weird novels and pets.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Eva: Umm actually feminist women happily treat men like dogs all the time.

          Did you not read Matt’s other article about how the media depicts men as bumbling fools in need of a super smart / sassy wife to civilize him? What’s the matter? You don’t like when the shoe is on the other foot? Like a typical feminist, you shoot your mouth off on emotion and fail to consider the facts,

        • mommyx4boys says:

          Also i know way more women who are willing to knock the crap out of a man then mmen who will hit women. but considering how women want to be treated equal in every way, why should a man hold back if a woman hits him, after all women want to be treated the same as men, but maybe that is only when it benefits them.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @mommyx4boys: That’s what puts the “special” in “special interest” group. The government needs to stop wasting our tax dollars on feminist pet projects like Obamacare and the million offices for women’s stuff that just hire “women’s studies” majors to mass print victim cards.

        • Eva says:

          Ohmygod! Some exaggerated cartoon images of women literally treating men like dogs! It’s a conspiracy!
          How could I have been so blind???

          The media – say again, MEDIA – does this. Is the media completely governed by women? Is the media totally dictated by women? Are men not at all involved in the making and directing of these commercials? You really are embarrassing yourself Santorelli. Maybe if you didn’t treat women like power-hungry banshees they wouldn’t treat you like a ‘bumbling fool’.
          But is it women you’re against or is it feminists? You keep flitting between these two nouns as if they’re the same thing – they’re not. You’ve had so much ample proof of that on many of these blogs and yet you still insist on dismissing all women ever as vicious man-haters. Pick a view and stick to it. Also, eat a snickers.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Eva: It is impossible for me to “treat women like power-hungry banshees.” Feminist women do that all on their own without my influence. I’ve clarified that FEMINIST WOMEN are the ones I have issue with. Not all feminist women however are the rabid protester or lobbyist type. Feminist women are also women that are silent about sexism against men or deny it exists only to wax on that “woe is woman.”

          As far as the media goes, it doesn’t matter whose writing this stuff male or female. They are furthering a feminist agenda. Just because a man directs a commercial that does not mean he speaks for all men. Remember how leftist women tore Sarah Palin apart for “not caring about women’s issues even though she’s a woman?” Same deal. One man does not speak for the rest of us or even the majority. If we put the media topics to a fair vote, I assure you much of what we see wouldn’t exist.

        • Eva says:

          “One man does not speak for the rest of us or even the majority”
          YES! Just as a few extreme feminists do not speak for all feminists. And certainly not for all women. So you can’t throw badly written essays about a fictional war against boys and a couple of comedic feminist cartoons and then say ‘this clearly means all women treat men like dogs and all feminists want to keep boys at the bottom of the food chain at schools!’ Because then you are doing exactly what you just claimed I did. I can’t use the mistakes of one or a few men against all men and you can’t use the mistakes of one or a few feminists against feminists and you certainly can’t use the ideology of a few feminists against all women.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Eva: It’s not just a few extreme feminists that attack the rights of men. It’s organization with immense influence and funding. Laws have be rewritten, as I commented on in the past, by feminists to give women an unjust advantage over men. The family court system is just one example. It’s also what feminists don’t say / advocate that matters too. Why don’t feminists advocate for equality when women get lighter criminal sentences than men for the same crime? Why don’t they advocate and march in the streets to make it a legal requirement for women to register with the Selective Service? Even if a war doesn’t break out, a man cannot get a drivers licence in most US states without registering AND such laws were signed by many FEMALE governors. You didn’t hear men or feminists in the street chanting “my body my choice” did you? Why the double standard? At least in child birth you get a lovable person to adore at the end, but what does a man get out war or denial of a basic privilege like a drivers licence? NOTHING! Why do feminists advocate a second chance for women in an unplanned pregnancy, but when men look for a way out its a dead end (i.e. a sum of money to terminate unwanted fatherhood like women do with an abortion)? That’s because feminists only want privileges and no responsibilities. They want retribution for crimes their great grandmothers were believed to have been victims of.

          Also, the very word “feminist” itself has a backhanded tone to it. I’m a guy that believes in true equality yet don’t go calling myself any -ist. I could call myself a masculinist but I don’t care to brandish a label like a sword to stick it in the face of those who the label doesn’t and cannot represent. Why should “equality” have a female label to it? Such a label only serves to cause division. The standard feminist response to that is “oh women suffer more so we deserve a badge for it.” That is entirely a subjective claim especially in the Western world. Patriarchy has been the feminist scapegoat for everything that makes them unhappy. Feminism is an adolescent movement that demands privilege but shuns responsibility. I’ve read / talked to many feminists. Only a fringe few (Dr. Sommers, Camilla Paglia, etc) challenge the movement when it harms men. The rest are either silent or openly fight against even allowing men to discuss issues that affect us (http://metronews.ca/news/toronto/573522/mens-issues-or-misogyny-controversial-mens-group-to-discuss-womens-studies/) and feminists are responsible for.

  11. Jed P says:

    I am a man. I personally don’t ever want to have to hit anybody, male or female. The only time I will ever use physical force is if I feel my life is in danger. I think if people lived by this philosophy the world would be a better place.

  12. Emily Swifton says:

    Of course its never OK to hit a woman. Just like it’s never OK to hit a man. Or a child. Or an animal. Or anything with feelings, really. Just don’t be violent – unless you’re doing it to defend yourself or your loved ones.

  13. greyghost says:

    A woman hits you kick her ass as badly as possible. Other than that don’t physically attack women ever.

    • K says:

      Pretty sure that will land you in jail. But hey, at least she’ll learn her lesson right? 😦

  14. nahrikira says:

    As a girl taking karate classes I’ll say this, the only time it is acceptable for someone to hit me is during practice at the dojo, because if I don’t take a few hits then I’ll never learn properly.

  15. Blaximus says:

    Okay. I can tell by the post that the author hasn’t been in the vicinity of some of the ( younger, meaner, more violent ) women in our society today.

    I too was taught never to hit a ” girl “, but in those days, over 40 years ago, women did not conduct themselves in public, the way many do today. This is not about bullying a defensless female by any stretch, but it’s more about defending yourself against an angry/crazed attacker who might just be taking advantage of the golden rule of men not hitting women.

    In my 5 decades walking on this earth, I have watched many women devolve into something I could have never imagined. I am 6ft tall, 230 pounds, and where I live I routinely see girls/women equal to me in size. And I have witnessed many, many times that a lot of these girls will come at you like a man. You can stand there ” not hitting a woman ” if you want, but you will wind up in a world of hurt and your inaction will only serve as encouragement for the beatings to continue.

    Many women are more disrespectful and violent now-a-days than at anytime I can recall. Things have drastically changed. So should the ” rules “.

  16. jimbo says:

    Crime statistics shows that in a majority of domestic assults cases it’s the wife that assults the husband. I’ve known two men personally were their wives assulted them unexpectedly over a disagreement. The men did nothing to provoke the attach other than to disagree. If your a man and that happens to you, defend yourself ennough to get away, call the police, file the report, and leave the marriage immediately. Violence can not be tolerated.

    • Jessica says:

      Bull on the alleged crime statistics, Jimbo. Cite your source. Here’s a real one: 85% of domestic violence victims are women. http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf Sorry about your two friends, and you’re certainly correct that if anybody is in that situation, male or female, they should get away and file a police report. However, if you think women are usually the perpetrators based on “crime statistics,” you could also benefit from educating yourself on the phenomenon of victim-defendants in domestic violence cases (The victim, usually the woman, fights back, and the perpetrator uses this as an opportunity to have her arrested and exert further power and control: http://www.kccadv.org/reports/victim-defendant-reports/)

      • JSantorelli says:

        Here is your reference Jessica. If you used logic instead of emotion you would see this is a credible CDC study and not a feminist investigation with the obvious biased outcome.

        Psychiatry News August 3, 2007
        Volume 42, Number 15, page 31
        © 2007 American Psychiatric Association

        • Jessica says:

          That’s a broken link that redirects to an article about Borderline Personality Disorder being diagnosed in women more often than in men. (Antisocial Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder are more often diagnosed in men than in women, so what? Are you trying to make a corollary between Cluster B personality disorders and the tendency to be violent? There is one, but you didn’t argue it. Male abusers often have ASPD and NPD and there’s still an 85/15 split of female victims versus male ones.) Is that what you were intending to share as evidence? Because it doesn’t support your point. Show the “crime statistics” indicating women are usually the attackers in domestic violence situations. Oh, wait: there aren’t any.

        • JSantorelli says:

          Here is the correct link (http://psychnews.psychiatryonline.org/newsarticle.aspx?articleid=111137). No doubt an attempt by feminists to hide the truth.

          Lastly, when you quote your statistics is that judged by the number of arrests or actual proof? The man always ends up arrested because feminist law says the biggest person goes to jail by default. Of coarse that is almost always the man. Your 85/15 sounds like posturing to me and not a real meaningful number. Its a product of the victim mentality many have.

        • Jessica says:

          OK, thanks for the correct link. With regard to the article and your questions:

          The article is based on self-reporting, so a more accurate title/conclusion would be “Women, more often than men, ADMIT to having perpetrated violence in an intimate relationship.” According to the study, this pertained to nonreciprocal violence that did not result in injury. It doesn’t detail the specifics. Presumably, “violence by a woman against a man not resulting in injury” would be things like shoving him in the shoulder, slapping him in the face, or beating his chest in frustration (behaviors which ARE abusive and not okay, but are not actually physically threatening in most cases of a woman doing them to a man. I’m not excusing them or saying they don’t count; just that they don’t merit some kind of robust physical retaliation by a bigger, stronger partner, which is a major point of this blog.) Then the article makes the point that injury is more likely to occur during reciprocal violence, when men are more often the aggressors than women. Yet it states that men are a little more likely to be the ones who report injuries (25%) than women (20%) from reciprocal violence in which the man is the aggressor. To put it in layman’s terms: a man attacks a woman, who is legitimately physically threatened by the attack, not merely annoyed or angered by it. She fights back, perhaps successfully, and injures the man. This is often where the police get involved. Abuse is based on power and control. Abuse victims, male and female, are notoriously reluctant to report the abuse they experience, and tend to cover injuries, blame themselves, admit to having provoked or participated in the abuse in some way, and return to their abusers. Male and female abusers are prone to both lie and minimize in self-reporting of violence, and also to quickly blame the other person and seek leverage by having them arrested for fighting back. There ARE legitimate cases in which a man is the victim of domestic violence. But by no means is that representative of a MAJORITY of domestic violence cases.

          I was married to a man who recently went to jail for assaulting his third wife (I was number two.) He’s been arrested three times now, but at the time we were together, he had no record. During our marriage, I was assaulted and had my life threatened, and never reported it. He was dealing drugs and exercising all kinds of financial control and manipulation that made it basically impossible for me to leave without becoming homeless (tens of thousands of dollars in coerced debt in my name only, distortion and manipulation campaigns in my job at a conservative church from which I was fired for separating from him though they later publicly repented, fraudulent email accounts set up to stalk my subsequent job search and prevent me from being hired, wrecking my vehicle with no insurance, etc.) When we did separate I was destitute for three years. While we were together, one night he assaulted me and chased me around in a pickup truck after I fled on foot in an altercation that lasted for five hours. I eventually made my way home and he had seemingly cooled down. I went to bed, and he burst into the room screaming in the middle of the night and starting the fight again. In the ensuing row, in total frustration, I threw a glass over his head at the wall. He dove for it like a champ, batted it, and cut his finger. Then he said, “this is great, bitch: now you’re going to jail.” He called an ambulance (for a cut finger!) and the police, who were quite embarrassed, but explained that they were constrained by “primary aggressor laws” essentially requiring them to arrest whoever was bleeding less in a domestic violence case. So I was arrested, and the charge was later dropped by the state. But in the meantime, my ex had me removed from our home in court, placed a restraining order against ME that allowed him to control where I could and couldn’t go (for example, he could show up at our church or at a social function and I would have to immediately leave, or be subject to arrest for violation of the order.) He could stalk me during that time, and the police couldn’t do anything because HE was the “victim.”

          In King County (the link I posted earlier about victim defendants) primary aggressor laws resulted in a 9% increase in domestic violence arrests of men, and an 86% increase in domestic violence arrests for women, due primarily to the phenomenon of abusers opportunistically having their victims arrested when they fight back. The 85/15 statistic is sound, and your speculation about men being arrested more often because of “feminist law,” whatever that is, is bunk. Do some reading, do some research, and educate yourself on domestic violence using multiple resources and not just one article that weakly supports your worldview.

        • JSantorelli says:

          I have plenty other but I’m not writing an essay here. Where are all your sources? Ms Magazine? Jezebel? Huffpo Women? N.O.W? AAUW? I quoted 1 article that I remembered and had saved on my PC. There are tons more I’ve read out there that hold ground. With regard to your 86% increase in female DV, yeah feminists saw that and that is why the biggest person now always gets arrested. THAT is feminist law. We urinate millions away on things like VAWA because women make poor decisions in men but when men make poor decisions in women its just “bad luck.” Also that 86% statistics is nonsense. If the number of women committing DV went up from 100 to 200 that would be a 100% increase. By the numbers though, that is insignificant as a percentage of the whole population. I’m a scientist so I know how statistics are calculated and what data got crunched to generate those statistics. I’m truly sorry about your case of abuse but advocating for laws that harm men and painting men the way feminists like to do isn’t going to get you anywhere.

        • Jessica says:

          Oh, and by the way: the 2007 article you cited has been discredited by an organization that upholds accurate reporting of domestic violence stats. http://www.mediaradar.org/press_release_20080211.php

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Jessica: Yes, because I’m sure anything that goes against the feminist idea of DV is wrong, biased, etc. That’s the line every time women are put in a negative light. There is always something “wrong” with the study. What proof have you that feminist orgs report things correctly? We don’t know. The standard for reporting is always changing to suit their needs. Then emotionally invested people rally around their propaganda and act out of prejudice.

          All we ever do is study DV on women so of coarse it always looks like they are the victims and many women know how to play the system thanks to feminist coaching. This is why I encourage all men to avoid women like the plague. The single most detrimental factor to a man’s sanity and health is woman. I honestly wish we could divide the earth in 2 and put woman on one side and men on the other. That would be a feminist dream to have a “Woman World” and men wouldn’t be victims of female deceit.

        • JSantorelli says:

          And look at the first link on the page YOU sent me to: http://www.drphil.com/videos/?Url=/house/flv/8041_1.flv&background=header_drphil_video.jpg

          A video about how a woman lied for 10 months to jail her husband and she ISN’T behind bars? That’s feminist justice for you! Man = bad, woman = good!

        • JSantorelli says:

          And here is ANOTHER link from the site YOU sent me to: http://www.wcvb.com/Restraining-Order-Abuse/12138374

          Restraining order abuse!! LOL! See what happens when you let emotion get the best of you. You blasted your own case out of the water!

        • Jessica says:

          Based on your comments, you are a self-proclaimed misogynist who is totally uninformed about these issues and doesn’t care to be. I am glad that you have come to the conclusion that you should have nothing to do with women! The world thanks you. Alright, I’m done, and you may have the last word, both because your comments do a great job of displaying your idiocy without any critique from me, and also because I don’t engage in indefinite online exchanges with people who are both uninformed and inept at arguing their points. Ta ta!

        • JSantorelli says:

          If by misogynist you mean “one who doesn’t tow the feminist line that man = bad, women = good” then yes I’m proudly so. More women have used feminist DV laws for decades to commit fraud against men. A MAJORITY of of the cases involving paternity fraud and DV fraud are by WOMEN. Your case is atypical and I’m guessing you hold a lot of anger in your heart about it but supporting laws and statistics that discriminate against men isn’t going to help. Credible DV statistics that give a comprehensive view show DV is committed about the same by men and women. It is just men don’t matter in a feminist utopia. You are quite representative of that in your misandry.

        • Eva says:

          Santorelli, I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you have been on the receiving end of some domestic violence and I’m going to also guess it was inflicted on you by a woman?
          If that’s the case then I’m very sympathetic. I’ve been on the receiving end of domestic violence myself – I was 14 and was completely head over heels for this guy (aged 17) until I figured out that he was bad news. He wanted sex from me and I wasn’t ready, but he’d decided I was ready and that I’d made him wait long enough. First he verbally abused me, then he threatened me to the point where I honestly thought he would rape me. It’s horrible, and it’s terrifying.
          If you have been in a similar situation then I’m very sorry that happened to you.

          However, you shouldn’t write off women altogether as being violent, evil, dominating feminists who are in the middle of a global conspiracy to enslave men. This could not be further from the truth. If I’d thought this about men, I wouldn’t have found the relationship I now have with my boyfriend. He is the total opposite of the former guy. He’s never threatened me in any way, he’s never made me feel superior or inferior. He makes me feel safe instead of scared. He makes me laugh and not cry (except when he makes me laugh a lot) and he also supports feminism. He recently celebrated National Woman’s Day in fact.

          My point is, whatevere your reasons are for hating women, please try and not let them take over your life. They’re making you angry and bitter and that’s not a good way to live. Find a good woman who is tired of feminism and never makes you feel anything but safe and loved. Grow old and make fun of feminists together. You’ll be much happier for it, trust me 🙂

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Eva: You know nothing about me and shouldn’t be presumptuous. I have and will continue to write off most women as power hungry feminists with no honor because that is reality. I put a high value on my sanity, honor, and peace. Women have a negative impact on all of those. A single guy can home to his own house for peace and quiet. He does not have to answer to some entitled female who berates him for having a pulse. It’s a dream come true!

          The very word feminism shows how woman separates herself from man. There is nothing feminine about gender equality yet feminists think there is. Some feminists go so far as to spell woman, womyn! Perhaps some guys don’t mind sacrificing their dignity at the feminine altar but I’m not contributing. Smart men avoid modern woman. Modern woman amounts to little more than a roommate you have sex with (maybe). Sex is not a requirement for one’s survival and only leads to man’s enslavement by women. Ever hear that that feminist slogan “I’ve got the vagina, so I make the rules.” Well, you only make the rules if a guy wants to play. No desire to play means your rules are meaningless and we occupy ourselves with more constructive outlets. I’d rather be solving the energy crisis, helping the poor (mostly guys), or fishing than be in the company of most women. Many of my guy friends have come around to that and we have found satisfaction in big causes that don’t include women.

        • Eva says:

          So what you’re saying is, there is no underlying cause other than you just hate all women for the actions of some extreme feminists….
          Then we’re not going to get anywhere are we?
          Have a nice life in your lonely man-cave.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Eva: There is a whole litany of reasons why I have no love for the female half of the species. There aren’t just “a few extreme feminists.” The majority of them are extreme. The very word “feminism” itself means female doctrine if you analyze the Latin roots of the word. It has nothing to do with equality or it would be “humanism” or some other gender neutral term. Feminists only advocate for women when it gets them perks, but they dodge responsibilities. I see too many women like yourself who blindly worship feminism because of a mistrust of men. It doesn’t matter what harm feminists do to men because as long as you benefit and get the goodies you don’t care. A majority of women live by the same. They will never stand against anything that benefits them even if it is infringing on the rights of others.

          Case in point, men have been fighting the courts for decades against injustice when alimony is concerned. It wasn’t until the women that wanted to marry divorced men screamed about it that something is starting to be done. Again, its only because it benefits woman B not to have hubby sending a check to woman A. Never did women support men simply because it was the right thing to do. Often times when feminists go on diatribes they never acknowledge the human dignity in men. They always turn stuff around and make it about themselves. I was reading an article on Yahoo by a self-described feminist about a shrink that said men can’t parent as well as women. All the feminist was worried about was “his comment was oppressive to women because if men don’t parent then we have to.” WTH is that? Another feminist I debated over email did the same thing. When is comes to a “controlling man” in a relationship she was all fire and gung ho to protect the woman’s well-being. When I posed a reverse situation with a “controlling woman” all she was worried about was how the woman got like that!?!?!? The man’s dignity was unimportant to her but she sure cared about the woman. I’ve seen this pattern in my everyday like and for you to claim “women love men” is an insult. The only thing women love about men is manipulatively exploiting us then telling us how bad we messed up. Women rarely take responsibility for their actions but like teenagers expect the benefits.

          Liberal feminists are prime examples. They have an entitlement complex that rapes men legally and financially. Conservative feminists are just as bad except they expect a man to fill his traditional roles when she gets a pass and does whatever she wants,

        • mommyx4boys says:

          I am married to a wonderful man and we have four sons together my only concerns in this world are making sure they are all happy and healthy . my husband is the head of my household, and i have more respect for him than anyone else on this planet. so I’m just wondering all that being said would you say i fit into your generalizations about women

        • JSantorelli says:

          @mommyx4boys: You are the exception to the rule. It doesn’t matter if the odds are 0 or 1 in 1,000,000 I still wouldn’t risk my house.

      • Eva says:

        Oh, hang on, one more thing.
        If I’m not allowed to be presumptuous about you, you’re allowed to say “oh well you’re a woman who supports the historic concept of feminsim therefore you’re a selfish brat who only cares about her sex life.”
        Equality mate.

        • JSantorelli says:

          I’m going on what you wrote and holding you to it. Put the big girl panties on and take responsibility for your words. This is why I prefer a “lonely man-cave.” I don’t have to explain basic concepts like responsibility to some girl that just wants to have fun.

        • Eva says:

          I said i was very proud of the women who gave their lives so I and every other woman could have the same privileges men have. I then gave a few examples of what those were, ONE of which was my sex life where I said I would be having sex with my boyfriend (singular) the rest of which were mostly about my education and careers and how I was perfectly on par with men to follow said careers. YOU then simply focused on my point about my sex life and said I was a spoiled brat who only cares about kicking young boys out of school so I can focus on my sex life or some rubbish like that.
          I presumed something about you because of the evidence you presented as well. You didn’t like it though did you? Welcome to the club.
          Just because I am happy that feminism happened, doesn’t mean I’m a crazy harpy who hates men and wants to see them all crumble in society. I love men because I find I can have conversations with them and joke around with them more easily than I can with women. I love my ,male friends because they’re always there when I need them and they don’t expect anything from me other than the respect and the kindness that I already show them. I love my boyfriend because he makes me feel safe and protected and he makes me laugh and just feel good in ways that none of my female friends ever could. I am grateful that I am able to go to whatever university I want to study whatever subject I want if I can work hard enough to get it. This includes competing with other men AND women and I’ve been able to beat ,my way past some of them but not others. I love being a woman in this country and at this time.
          What part of that makes me ANY of the things you seem to believe all women are, simply because they are women who celebrate feminism for what it’s achieved in the past 100 years?

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Eva: Like a typical feminist, you like men doing things for YOU! What do you do for them? Sounds like absolutely nothing except expecting them to say “how high” when you say “jump.” You are still a feminist bratt.

          Lastly, get a clue what century you are in. Most of the women that fought for the basic rights you mention were Christian women opposed to birth control and abortion. Margaret Sanger, founder of PP, was a population eugenicist who though “lesser developed people” should be eradicated. Also, those women didn’t so much identify as feminists as to specific causes like the suffragettes. I’m talking about feminism in our present day. Saying we should continue to tolerate feminism at any cost because the first handful made some meaningful achievement is narrow-sighted and naive. Should we give a pass to every evil provided it can show at least a little good in its distant past? I don’t think so! Ever criminal could use the defense “I was a good person before this crime so let me free since I’m good!” Feminism since the 2nd wave have been nothing but a man-hating regime that needs to be catapulted from this planet. Those who want to hold onto it can go with it!

  17. Cori says:

    I think that women in most cases are not going to be able to hold their own against a male. It isn’t a fair fight, and isn’t that the point of fighting? No one looks at a man who brings a knife to a fist fight as brave, they consider him a coward and playing against the rules. A man hitting a woman is the same concept. A woman is not going to be able to fight in the same arena as a man, no matter how strong she is.

    • MikesMojo says:

      You have never met my ex wife, lol. Any women who swings on a man should be swung upon herself.

    • gworple says:

      The point of fighting is usually to not be fair at all, which is why women hit men… entirely because they think they won’t be hit back. They like it as unfair as possible, just not when men decide to change the direction in which it is unfair.

      let’s stop talking about men being cowards for responding, and who even cares about cowardice these days? I’m a coward, and its cool. When I choose to be brave, I’m brave, and when I choose to be a coward, I’m a coward without giving a damn. Your word means nothing.

  18. defiantmouse says:

    My mother taught me that I should never hit a lady but she also taught me that a lady never hits in the first place.

  19. Dennis says:

    Have you ever noticed how a chiwawa will viciously attack an intruder no matter the size? I mean I’ve seen a small dog go after the tire of a huge delivery truck like it was gonna rip it to shreds. LOL, its quite humorus. I wonder why they seem to have no notion that their small size is a factor in what ever they are attacking. It must a defense mechanism where if they show big enough reaction it will hopefully cause the larger (whatever) to back down. All the while you could pinch the dog and it would squeel as if being killed. I’ve seen women with the same behavior. They seem to have no understanding that (MOST) men are physically stronger than they are and yet she will attack with any visious means available which in many circumstances provokes the man to retaliate. Im not condoning men hitting women. I’m simply saying women are really good at provoking men to physically respond. Its best for the man to just walk away, run if necessary. NO good will ever come from a man hitting a woman. NO NOT EVER>just walk away. NO, this is not just my opinion. I am speaking from personal experience.

  20. I am pretty sure if a woman is coming at me with a knife I cannot guarantee that a response involving a fist will not happen. But, I agree with your post.

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  22. Christa Barnhizer says:

    I am a woman. It’s okay to hit me in the dojo, because the point of my being there is to learn to defend myself against people who think it is okay to hurt me, and they do exist and will continue to exist, because this is earth and not heaven. The only other time it is okay to hit a woman is if you are in fear of injury or death due to her attacking you… and that does happen. Those obvious exceptions aside, the generality should stand.

  23. Sheila says:

    I appreciate this post for the clarity about adults hitting each other, which is never a good thing. I don’t watch the news, but I can imagine from your writing the scope of societal conversation.

    What I am left wondering after reading is: Why are adults then allowed or even encouraged to hit children? People talk all the time about how children “deserve it.” I would love to see a followup post with your wit and style on hitting kids….otherwise known as “spanking.”

    Thanks for speaking your truth,

  24. amelia says:

    I agreemen should never hit women. On the other hand women should also not abuse men! And it does happen believe it or not. Also neither should abuse children.

  25. ae em says:

    1 if she has a knife
    2 if the man is a police and the woman is black
    3 if she punches him in the face repeatedly, more than seven (7) times
    4 is she has yelled and screamed at the man and called him worthless for a period of more than 37 minutes

  26. raphenroch says:

    Not commenting on everything in here, but an interesting note on women being the weaker sex.

    In Genesis 2 when God presents the Woman to Adam, he names her “woman”, for she was taken out of “man”. But “woman” (or wife) isn’t related to the word “man” (or husband, and not the same word as Adam). The two words in Hebrew sound similar, but they have different origins. The word used for “woman” in this case comes from the root meaning “weak”, and the word meaning “man” comes from a root meaning “strong”.

    So Adam names his wife The Weaker because she was taken out of The Stronger. (It isn’t until after the Fall that he gives her the name Eve.)

    To help explain it, in English, the words male and female sound similar, but they are not etymologically related. They come from different bases and have evolved to sound similar over time. This is how those words in Hebrew are.

  27. mommyx4boys says:

    i dont agree with you on this one, which is a first , let me explain. i know a woman who i am going to refer to as sara (not her real name) she would go out frequently get drunk and come home to abuse her grandfather. just so you know this is a big girl who can fight good. anyway one night she came home her grandpa was just sitting in the chair, and for no reason at all she walked over and punched him in the face. it broke his nose in 2 places, yet he did not hit her he told his wife to call the police. in the meantime sara continued to beat him finally he said i dont want to hit you please dont make me and she lunged at him again this time with a knife in her hand, so he stood up as fast as he could and popped her in the nose one time. well of course she started crying and screaming i cant believe you hit me. then when the police finally showed up about an hour later they took him to jail. i was so mad. we all tried to explain how sara is and that it wasnt the mans fault but the cop just said its never ok to hit a woman. now whats funny is the very next weekend the cops had to come down again cause she was drunk and causing her grandmother trouble well the same cop came down and as soon as he walked through the door she punched him and he got knocked on his but. she followed him outside and continued to try to beat him up so he pepper sprayed her. this whole time i was standing on my front porch laughing and i yelled to the cop and said i cant believe you did that she is a woman, man he was mad. anyway sometimes it can not be avoided and the woman just simply deserves to be hit.

    • Lola says:

      You didn’t explain very well. In fact, maybe instead of trying to convince the world that beings without penises don’t rate in your eyes, maybe work on your basic writing skills? Yes, we all know that you want to prove yourself to your menfolk, but get real as to where most of the abuse originates, toots. Maybe try to have some basic compassion and empathy for those females being knocked unconscious?
      Maybe I think the male children of ditzy mothers “deserve” to be hit, but that would be stupid, huh?

      • mommyx4boys says:

        you are an idiot. for one thing i explained this situation very clearly, second i have been physically beaten by a man and as a child came home to find my mother nearly dead at the hands of my step father so dont you talk to me about having empathy for abused women. however if a woman is going to act like a man and try to fight like a man especially for no reason, then she deserves to be hit like a man. that is my opinion and i dont give a big fat crap who likes it and who doesnt. BOOM

        • Actual says:

          You are a moron. Embarrassing
          that you call yourself a woman. Can’t tell if you are one or a man. It doesn’t matter if she hits a man, a man shouldn’t hit back unless his life was in danger. You must really dislike yourself. In that case I hope the next man in your life beats you up until you die.

          Feel sorry for your kids, that they have a mother as a coward that deludes herself into thinking that if a man hits a woman that that man should beat her up. God please kill yourself, seriously. For the sake of your kids. You disgusting btch.

        • mommyx4boys says:

          Coward? If i hit a man i know i may get hit back. Unlike you who apparently thinks you have the right to do whatever you want to whom ever you want and have no consequences simply because you have a vagina. And seriously you should seek a mental health professional right away.

        • JSantorelli says:

          @Actual: Your tone and raging fanaticism are disgusting. Perhaps you should stop judging based on what you feel and look at the facts. Mommyx4boys gave a logical analysis and I deeply respect her for caring more about the truth than “settling the score.”

          The fact that you think men should be punching bags for women is disgusting. A man’s life can be in jeopardy in more ways that one. It seems unless he is beaten to a pulp you don’t care at which time its too late. People like you are the reason why emotion should shelved when laws are made.

        • mommyx4boys says:

          Thanks JSantorelli, but its okay this person obviously has some kind of mental disability, so their comment didn’t bother me, and for sure didn’t change my opinion.

      • JSantorelli says:

        @Lola: Mommyx4boys explained herself quite clearly. It might be good to read without the feminist blinders on. Domestic violence is a 50/50 thing, but feminist legislation demanded only the larger of the 2 be arrested so of coarse that discriminates against men in women’s favor. Women also abuse restraining orders quite frequently which inflates the statistics. Such women should be prosecuted to the max but rarely are again because of feminism.


      • Sandy says:

        Get over yourself Lola. Your comments serve only to embarrass as well as put across your obvious feminist agenda.

        You and your fellow feminists are scum and are responsible for heinous crimes against humanity in these modern times. If hell is real, there will be a special place for the likes of your lot.

      • shit head says:

        Female Sexual Abuse Of Children: MICHELLE ELLIOTT

  28. Vernon says:

    Hitting one another is wrong on both parties whether male or female. A lot of females believe that they can hit a man, insult a man, and provoke a man to hit her without any consequences. I respect men who do not hit back and walk away. In face I respect anybody who just walks away from being hit by either sex. However, I also believe that in a situation when either male or female is assaulted by the opposite sex, they have the right to hit back. A lot of people believe that just because females are smaller than men it gives them the right to hit a man which is not true. I do not believe that a man should beat a woman senseless, however in the case of a woman hitting a man, I believe that a man should either only slap or push a woman, not to show who’s boss, but to show that it is not okay for a woman to strike him and think that he will not defend himself. So Women, please do not hit us and think that it okay and not expect some kind of negative reaction.

  29. Lola says:

    JSantorelli – geez, what did your narrow-minded father teach you about women, sweetie? Just a clue, honey, it’s because of feminism that men in partnerships do a helluva lot better than they could. Yeah, that. Maybe work on your life issues and stop blaming happy, successfu women for all your problems and issues, eh? Also, work out your Mommy issues.

  30. dennis says:

    Seriously? That whole entire long winded rant?
    Yes its ok to hit women.Appropriate force and situation. End of story.its human against human.
    If a 10 year old hits me with a crow bar in the head im going to punch him in the face.
    Lets get real here.

  31. twistedsteel says:

    I’ve only recently come to find your blog here and I haven’t read everything that you’ve posted. On a lot of the topics you’ve written, I’d say you were fairly spot on, but this one… not so much. Let me start by saying, I am not in any way, shape, or form condoning abuse against women, or anybody else for that matter, unless it was a matter of protecting yourself or someone else who was unable to protect themselves. And had that been what the takeaway, I wouldn’t be posting this comment right now. But it’s not.

    But at the same time, you can’t ignore the fact that society has changed significantly since that axiom was created. Despite what several women on this comment board would have you believe there is not a mass of men who get women to hit them in order for them to claim abuse legally. Quite simply, the male ego wouldn’t allow that in the vast majority of cases. Call it sexist or misogynistic, but it is the truth. Although if you DO wish to refute that, I’m fairly confident that the number of women who have exploited that mindset would be far greater in number than males. But again, those are outliers in the statistics, so let’s just skip that for the moment.

    Women are abused by men all the time. This is a sad and all too familiar commentary on our society as a whole now. I do not advocate that, and I also do not advocate the statement that a few males on here have given about a backhand every once in a while to keep your woman in line (paraphrasing from several comments posted here). You said: “In most situations, men hit women not because they believe it to be necessary for self preservation, but because they believe she deserves it. They do it because they are angry. They do it because they want to release their aggression.” And that’s sadly true, and most likely the case in what happened with Ray Rice. I agree 100% that there’s no reason why he should have had to knock her out and drag her by the hair. I don’t care if she’s a kung-fu master on more steroids than McGuire, and has enough weapons on her to arm a battalion, if she’s knocked out, guess what? Threat neutralized. Now you’re just hurting her because you’re a bully who likes picking on the weak.

    I was raised hearing the same things that you have in your article here and have never had to strike a woman in my life. Having said that, I think that there is one important fact that you seem to have left out of this article though: the context in which the “never hit a female” concept was created. That was a far different time and a far different culture than the one in which we live now. And please don’t misunderstand me: I’m not saying it was better, just different.

    Yes, men are by and large physically stronger than their female counterparts, BUT if a woman knows that society has conditioned a male to never hit a female, then there’s no consequences. And THAT my friend is something far more central to society’s cultural convention: the actions that we as individuals make DO have consequences. I’m not saying feel free to smack a woman because you don’t like the way she’s looking at you, or what she says, and I’m definitely not saying “annihilate” her, as you phrased it. I’m saying that the relationships that we as human beings have with one another do not exist within a vacuum. There are men out there who won’t hit a woman under any circumstances, but ER’s are full of women who have been beaten by men who are not like that at all.

    Men – you should not hit a woman, but in that same context; Women – you should not hit a man. There’s another axiom that is probably as older or older than “Never hit a woman”, and that is “Never judge a book by it’s cover”. You never know what is lurking within that person – male or female – and if you don’t want violence returned to you, then you probably shouldn’t be dishing it out to begin with.

  32. Barton O says:

    I’ve been in a situation where it was called for, in defending myself. It was not hypothetical. And no, I’m not going to share the details with you. It’s none of your business.

    But please stop trying to be a smug know-it-all that has all the answers.

  33. Jeff S says:

    I don’t understand how your arguments against hitting women don’t also apply to hitting men. What does gender really have to do with it? It seems to me there are rare cases where hitting a woman is ok (you are fending off a physical attack and you can’t walk away), and really those are the only cases where hitting a man would be ok.

    I don’t hit people. Its that simple.

    • shit head says:

      he is talking shit, he is trying desperately to get some free pussy, but the women just think he is a great big WANKER!

  34. fyrecurl says:

    I may not agree with everything you say all of the time, but I appreciate someone who expresses his honest opinions, backed up by the principles he believes in. Generally women are physically weaker than men and need protection from less civilized men or women in some cases. But for violence should not be condoned at any time by either sex. There are a number of realistic feminists, as opposed to radical, that respect the differences between the genders that believe leads to more equal treatment between women and men , and although there are some things men do better and vise versa, neither is more superior in our ordered society.

  35. shit head says:

    just trying to score some poontang you little faggot.

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