Parents are lazy, uninvolved, stupid, selfish, cowardly jerks. Except for me, of course.

I wrote a post about sex-ed on Thursday. I don’t want to rehash the subject — suffice it to say that I am not a huge fan of “comprehensive sex education.” My reasons are many, but the crux of my argument in this instance rested on the basic principle that government schools have no role in a child’s sexuality. I thought, naively, that such an argument might resonate with many of the left-leaning folks who constantly and loudly proclaim the government to have “no business in our sex lives.” I agree with them, yet it would seem they do not quite agree with themselves.

I’d like to show you a quick sample of some snippets of response comments on my blog and Facebook page. See if you can notice a common line of reasoning between them:

Joanne:  Too many parents are complete idiots and neglectful in teaching their children basics…

Tobi: It’s more like “hey parents: do your job so schools don’t have to”…

Phanie: Parents should step up to the plate, however many don’t.

Austin: Sex, gender, sexuality, etc all have complexities far beyond the grasp of many parents.

Mary: What about the countless parents that don’t talk to their kids about sex at all?

Nicole: Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world, and there are many negligent and ignorant parents out there.

Amber: Parents often don’t know the facts themselves and pass along inaccurate information.

Pamela: I am public education and I couldn’t agree with you more…one small problem.  Parents don’t want to take the responsibility.

Tarcy: …BUT as a teacher who teaches middle school and has dealt with 14 year old pregnant girls it’s sadly needed because many parents don’t talk to their kids at all!  Ever!

Jennifer: The assumption is that parents DO their jobs, and as a teacher I am here to let you know……..sadly most don’t :(, including feeding, washing, providing, and yes educating them about sex!

Melody: I agree that this is a topic that parents should be addressing. The problem is parents aren’t willing to talk to their kids.

Brenda: Due to the lack of parental involvement children today are not getting factual information.

Amanda: That would be great if parents were actually responsible for their children!

Gavin: The parents might be the ones who are supposed to be educating the kids, but in most cases they arent…

Alec: I think the problem is strictly with the parents. Schools are stepping up  because a large majority of parents try to push their problems on the school.

Toni: Maybe if all parents were responsible even to properly educate their children I would agree with this. But we have public school for a reason.

2nihon: Unfortunately, most Christian parents either ignore the topic entirely or treat sex as a dirty thing and warn their kids against sex before marriage

Leo: Do you ever wander why they teach that? Heck, why they have school and people send their children to school? Because the parent didn’t want to do the teaching.

SRB: Many times it is a parent who is acting inappropriately and these kids need to be armed with the information they need to keep themselves safe and get help if necessary.

Parents are idiots, they don’t take responsibility (in fact, in “MOST cases” they don’t take responsibility), they can’t understand concepts like sex and reproduction, they don’t talk to their kids, they don’t care, they’re lazy, they don’t do their jobs (“MOST” don’t do their jobs, in fact), they aren’t involved, in MOST cases they won’t teach their own children, they act inappropriately, a LARGE MAJORITY of them push their problem onto the schools, they’re ignorant about the facts of a subject like human reproduction, and they don’t even wash or feed their own kids.

Most of them also pistol-whip puppies and steal from the homeless, presumably.

And this is all, for the most part, according to other parents. Other parents who clearly must be the exception to the rule they’ve fabricated out of thin air.

Listen, we have to stop this. It’s insane. We’ve fallen so deeply into this parentphobic mania that some of us are even under the absurd delusion that the public school system was designed to address widespread failures among parents. If parents were any good, we wouldn’t need public schools. Convenient perspective. The very existence of public schools proves the need for the existence of public schools.

Yes, of course, some parents fit these criticisms, but we’ve gone beyond “some” to “most” or even “all” (with the exception of whoever’s making the statement at any particular moment). We are leveling indictments against parents as a whole (again, excepting the specific person who levels the indictment — they’re totally great, the only great parent left in the universe).

It’s offensive and egotistical, and also untrue. Every culture has its fables. Ours is the one about how parents are largely uncaring, lethargic dimwits.

I’ve never been accused of being optimistic. I’m the last person to put on the rose colored glasses and chase rainbows through flowery fields. I could never be that sort of person. I’m Irish, after all. But even I can look around me and see that most parents are capable. Most parents love their children. Most parents would do anything for their children. Most parents know what’s best for their children.

Show me the parents who do not love their kids — who are absolutely incapable of raising them — and I will show you not the rule, but a tragic aberration.

The more we insist on this idea that millions of parents would flounder and fail without the guiding light of government or the incessant interference of the yammering village, the more we collectively will such a reality into fruition. Can’t you see the vicious cycle here?

First, society yells, and screams, and announces into a bullhorn how woefully inadequate the nations moms and dads have been, are, and will be. Next, other institutions and governmental bodies move in to “pick up the slack.” They cast a wide net, and all of our children are caught in it. Now the vast majority of parents who have the ABILITY and DESIRE to raise their own children are less able to do so, because they have to compete with all of these other forces, with alleged “good intentions,” who are pulling their kids in a thousand different directions.

The problem is this: in order to effectively raise your kids, you have to maintain a special relationship with them. They have to be attached to you, to a certain extent, and they have to look to YOU for guidance, reassurance, and love. They have to be oriented towards you and by you, their compasses have to be set according to you. You must be their North Star, their light in the darkness, their trail in the woods. The more the government, the schools, the media, the peanut gallery, and their peers intrude, the more difficult it is to maintain that relationship. These other entities, whether they want to or not, will inevitably dim the light and alter the compass. The autonomous, sovereign unit of the family will be usurped, and your voice will become just another, lost in the chaos and the noise.

So, society, you want me to take care of my own kids? Great. Sounds like a plan. Now back off for five seconds and give me a chance, alright?

It’s a daunting thing to be new parents, trying to find a footing in this world, to stake our claim, to shelter and care for our children, to raise them as we think they ought to be raised, while seemingly everyone, from every corner, takes advantage of every occasion to remind us how helpless and impossible the task is, and how likely we are to fail.

Parenting is a minefield these days. It’s harder now than it’s ever been. I feel confident in saying that because there has never been a time in human history when parents have been made to deal with this level of competition for their children’s hearts and minds. Every time our kids walk outside, turn on the TV, go on the Internet, take the bus to school, they are immediately bombarded with a million voices, from a million places, trying to change them and use them and influence them in a million ways. Buy this! Do this! Wear this! Eat this! Try this! Say this! Listen to this! Believe this! Think this! Be this! Become this!

It’s relentless.

It never ends.

It never stops.

They never shut up.

I’m sure it wasn’t a breeze raising kids on the old frontier, but at least you knew that YOU would be the one raising them. Sure, you’ll all probably die of cholera next week, but until then you’ll be a unit. Together. A family.

Now, the entire deck is stacked against the family. There are powerful agents out there that want nothing more than to drive a wedge into the middle of our homes, undermining our authority and distancing us from our sons and daughters.

This is the landscape. It’s hazardous, dangerous, and difficult. And how do we react? By cannibalizing each other. Parents are the problem! Really? I don’t think we even give the parents a chance to be “the problem.”

There’s a lot behind this epidemic of parent-blaming. Projection, for one. Arrogance, another. Also collectivism. We are suffering from this collectivist disease that leads us to blindly accept the great lie that our children should all be of a certain, useful sort. We’ve concocted The Standard, and children who fall short are defective, while their parents are incompetent.

Many — the “bad” parents, I guess — don’t accept The Standard. We have our own goals for ourselves and our kids. Mine, for instance, is to raise my children to love God. That’s all I want for them. Everything else is either a distant second or completely irrelevant.

But I don’t owe an explanation to anyone. And neither do you.

Parenting is a rough enough sport already, without the entire country jumping on the dog pile.

So lay off the parents, everybody. We’re trying our best out here, and you’re only making it harder.

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226 Responses to Parents are lazy, uninvolved, stupid, selfish, cowardly jerks. Except for me, of course.

  1. cdciii says:

    One of the things people are generally unaware of is that Horace Mann, the reputed “Father of public education” in the US of A has been quoted saying that the purpose of public education is to divorce the American people from their religion. It has taken a long time from 1844 to get to where we are today (cultural inertia can be very difficult to beat) but it seems we have finally arrived at his ideal.

    Why are parents “lazy” about their kids’ education? For many decades it has been driven into their minds to trust the schools, they could do a better job. As one who believed it was my personal duty to inspire my children to knowledge, particularly the foundational knowledge of God, they never saw the inside of a public school until college. By that time it was too late: they were mine forever. The opposite is also true. The parent that blythely gives their child up at a young age to people who don’t love them or have their best interests at heart shall lose that child typically by adulthood.

    How did taking responsibility for educating my son and daughter turn out? Firstly, we never went through the “rebellious” teen years. That would have been good enough. But my son graduated high school at 16 and by 23 had been employed for 5 years by Intel as a chip designer with a Master’s of Science in Electronic Engineering. My daughter graduated at 18 and was functional in an adult world enough to be trusted with the running of a small private (non-family) business not long after. Now she is a wonderful stay at home mom who is one of the most insightful people I love.

    The rewards of taking responsibility for your kids’ education cannot be overstated. Anyone can do it as a parent. The joy of intelligent unity, of spiritual unity with adult children is beyond description.

    Defy Horace Mann, educate your children yourself!!!

    • srbboo says:

      As a homeschooler myself, I too never suffered the rebellion stage with my son. We became great friends, had lots of outings and socializing activities with other homeschoolers and non-homeschooled friends, and I thank God every day that He let me stay home with my son. Best thing ever.

    • Dana says:

      Here, here! Well spoken, cdciii!

    • Ron Christiansen says:

      Well said. My oldest is three, can already recite the alphabet and count reliably to fourteen. He’s learning Spanish as well as English and is learning that he can turn God for anything. My wife is doing an incredible job with his education and has no intention of letting the government ruin it for him. I thank God for woman who was willing to stand up to me when I told her I don’t want my kids to be home schooled because they’d turn out socially inept.

  2. anonymous says:

    Take it from me. I’m a 24 year old woman, from a family of five children, and parents who are still together after 35 years. I STILL have yet to learn from anyone about sex and sexual education. My parents, opted for me to NOT sit in on sex ed during the entirety of my education in the public school system. They also failed to teach me anything about sex, or my body. Sex in my house is a touchy subject, my parents can barely sit through a Victoria Secret commercial without becoming uncomfortable. I was never taught what every young woman should be taught about her body, about sex, about my power to say no, hell, I’ve never even been told that I am worth being respected, let alone learning about my reproductive system, puberty, or anything of the sort. I learned all of this through schoolyard talk, and in the chatter of my curious friends, or as I got older from the internet, and experience. I was in fifth grade when the girls told me that “a penis goes into a vagina and then you bleed. That means youre a woman.” Hearing this as a young, innocent child, who only thought sex meant a man lays on top of you and kisses you, after youre married…. undeniably made me very confused, and uncomfortable with my body, my sexuality, and lack of confidence as I grew to become a woman. When people say that “most parents don’t teach their children these things”, its not an exaggeration. Its very naive of anyone to say that it is. The majority of parents do not talk to their kids and lay out the birds and the bees and everything else that a puberty-age child needs to know. I’ve experienced it first hand, and almost every friend that I have had growing up has told me that they have not learned anything about these topics from their parents.

    • TMLutas says:

      Since parents know that sex education is coming in from school, why would you expect them to redo that work unless they perceive a problem?

    • Gruntledlark says:

      and yet, somehow you figured it all out. My dad’s sex talk with me was, “Keep it in your pants.” It’s really not all that complicated as some people would like to believe. You really don’t need a manual.

    • …How do you know this? Have you talked to most parents? Or, possibly, are you and your parents all multiple entities that make up the majority of the society?

    • You spend a lot of time complaining about your parents and your lack of education, and then you jump to “the majority of parents.” You live in a really small world if your parents constitutes the majority of all parents.

    • Brandy says:

      Thank you for being brave enough to say what Mr Walsh needed to hear. You are NOT the exception (especially in christian homes.)

      The more I read, the more naive I believe Mr. Walsh to be.

    • gfriend says:

      I came from the same situation as you. I agree that it would have been best for me to hear that my sexuality is intertwined with my confidence and self esteem. Without knowing any better, I was taken advantage of by many young men. I had no idea what it meant, what was happening, and most of all, that it would effect my future relationships and trust issues. I was violently raped more than once as a teenager. I thought I had done something wrong. I knew we were to never mention sex in my parents home. I kept it all a secret. My goal is to teach all the right things about self respect to my granddaughters. I will be the example that I never had. Not talking about it can be detrimental.

  3. Andrea says:

    Matt I disagree with you on two points.

    #1 – The idea that “the incessant interference of the yammering village” is something new and a reflection of some kind of declined state in modern life is is completely false. When my parents and their parents grew up all the neighbors and extended family would absolutely be involved with the local kids. Usually around telling kids to knock off doing something stupid if they’re goofing off without their parents around. Now, if you do that, there’s a lot of this ‘these are my kids and I’ll tell them what they can or cannot do’. Yes, as a parent you should do that but I’ve seen several parents take this attitude without realizing that having another set of eyes on their kid is actually useful in keeping them in line.

    The problem now is actually the opposite of the it takes a village philosophy. Too many people don’t want to get involved because of litigious parents and because parents are so quick to place the blame on anyone other than their child. Case in point from my neighborhood: a couple and their teenaged son went into a grocery store to do some shopping. When the parents joined the long checkout line their son went outside. The son then proceeded to pull out one of those gigantic markers (only seemingly made for graffiti, not sure what other use it has) and start tagging the grocery store wall around the corner of the main entrance. This guy on his way to the store sees the kid doing this, tells him to stop, the kid ignores him so the man grabs the kid by the collar just as the parents walk out. The parents don’t yell at the kid for doing graffiti but instead yell at the guy for touching their kid. Ridiculous.

    #2 – I believe sex ed, health, nutrition and personal finance should all be taught to kids in school. This provides a basic level set of knowledge for this upcoming generation of Americans. Perhaps sex ed and nutrition could be included in an overall health class in high school (after earlier classes cover the basics) that is at least a full semester. My health class was a half semester combo with drivers ed so there wasn’t nearly enough time spent on health as a whole (which included sex ed). While sexuality is influenced by morals it also is about keeping your body and mind safe and healthy. Schools that have been teaching only abstinence have seen a spike in STDs. Seems counterintuitive right? Well what’s happening is that instead of having coitus these kids are having oral sex without condoms, not realizing (because they weren’t taught) that they can get STDs via oral as well.

    My husband was the son of a policeman and a nurse and was never given the ‘sex talk’. Scary. Sex Ed is important because of the consequences to society if girls get pregnant young and the family can’t afford the baby. If the teenager’s parents never teach the teenager hoe to ride a bike then there’s not a dramatic impact to society. If the parents don’t teach their kids about sex – and the schools don’t either – then we have newly born lives on our hands that may not be able to be cared for.

  4. mjmsprt40 says:

    To all of those educators who state boldly that parents are uneducated doofuses incapable or uncaring to teach their own children, I have this to say. You educators, in all probability, taught the parents. I’d sure like to know what your excuse is for the poor showing you think the parents you taught are displaying today. Didn’t you teach them ANYTHING???
    That being the case, I’d also like to know why you think we should trust this generation of children to educators who obviously did such a poor job of educating the parents when the parent’s generation was in school. I’d be really interested in reading educator’s comments to this question.

    • Kristin says:

      EXCELLENT point!

    • How good CAN they be about teaching our kids about sex if STDs and unplanned pregnancies are as high as they are? Sure, they’re lower now than they were, but not as low as they were in the beginning of our country and for quite a while after that–when parents did the majority of the teaching of their own children.

  5. I always love reading your stuff, Matt. Always a new perspective and well-thought out presentation of truth. Keep it up!

  6. Charles says:

    This is why I never use the statement “most” in such discussions. But lets think about what advocates of his mindset promote.

    The removal of government from public schooling. Which of course would mean that all schooling would be home schooling or private. This would mean that all parents must either A) be able to properly educate their children themselves. Which would mean all parents have the time and ability to provide a complete and proper education. The idea of a school is a collection of professionals with expertise in each field being taught contributing their knowledge to give a compete education on things such as math and science…topics which help people achieve better paying professions in the “real world”.
    Or B) that everyone could afford to send their children to a private school. Of course one could make the argument that no longer being taxed on public schooling would give parents enough money to do so. Sorry, but every taxpayer contirbutes…it wouldn’t be that simple and the annual money you would gain would not cover the cost of even the average private school.

    Now, we havevnt even delved into the “unfit” parents yet to see the hole in this logic. To allow every child the right to education without public schooling would require a complete reconstruction of our economy and eradication of poverty.

    Now…lets look at another situation. To read Matt’s words one would think that all it takes to be a good parent and educator is love and care…..sorry…love does not increase intellect or teaching ability. You can love your children with every fiber of your being, but if you are bad at math you are bad at math. Then we have children in inner cities and povert stricken areas that have uneducated parents who do not teach their children about protection or abstinence or math or any such thing. What do we do for these large numbers?….because remember…even a minority of millions is still a pretty hefty number. We like to use the terms minority and majority when discussing such things…but even only 10% of 316,000,000 (US pop as of 2013 census) is quite a large number. What of those children who not only have parents that won’t teach them properly, but ones who honestly can’t, for the vast myriad of reasons?

    What I see a lot of is this idea that because God won’t be taught in public schools that its not worth trying. Ever consider that there are kids out there learning morality from TV and watching the gangs on their streets? Should we just abandon attempts to give them a chance at something better? Do we just throw away something that doesn’t work as well as it should?

    I keep hearing all these excuses. Public schools are treaching my kids that don’t agree with the bible! Well, since all these good parents exist then I guess it’s no concern because they all will sit down with their kids and explain what they believe. That they will take their personal right and responsiblity for their child’s religion as its not the publics responsiblity to teach your kids about god. Public schools are teaching my kids that the govt is perfect…yadda yadda. They are also teaching then basic education skills that are needed in today’s job force. Education on math, programming, computer use. People undervalue what IS being taught. Ask any homeschooler how much is actually taught that most people don’t even consider. If the world is as full of these attentive and capable parents then they should have no problem looking over homework, flipping through text books and reviewing what kids learn and discussing things they might question. That’s far less effort than homeschooling and requires far less skills.

    So, if all these parents are as capable as you say then the questionable subjects (aside from the overstepping of sex-Ed as that should be limited to biological risks, protections and abstinence as a choice and actual sexual activities need not be explained in detail) such as teaching kids evolution, which many faithful like to claim is so obviously false, should be a breeze to teach your kids that its false…and if you don’t like secular subjects perhaps these individuals should send their kids to private schools or homeschool and stop trying to turn a secular state funded education into an extension of their church, or trying to get rid of it. If all these people are so unhappy with non-religious education then actually do what you tell about. Send your kids to Christian school or educate them at home. It’s really that simple.

    Because good parents are out there…but there is no way to quantify their numbers..and the penalty children pay for their ineptitude is life-long. I would rather they not suffer because we left their fate in hands that never hold them.

    The good parents will continue to be good parents and use the education system as a tool of aid…not a replacement.

    • Jillian says:

      Love your comment. So well put and exactly what I believe. Education should be a supplement to what is taught at home. Being more involved in the lives and knowledge of your children will be enough to make sure personal morals and values are important to them.

    • Kelsey says:

      Excellent points. I’d just like to add one schooling option that you overlooked: homeschool co-ops. These are community organizations that allow home schooled students to study specialized or advanced topics with the direction of someone more informed than the parents. They are extremely useful for advanced math and science topics, as it’s (relatively) easy for a parent to educate him or herself on basic reading, writing, and arithmetic well enough to teach his or her children, but that effort gets significantly more difficult and time-consuming as children advance to more involved topics, even with high-quality pre-packaged curricula and books.

      Sometimes co-op classes are taught by a parent in the community who happens to know more about a given topic. Sometimes teachers visit from the local high school, community college, or university. It’s even possible that the property taxes these families are keeping might be enough to reimburse them for (or at least mitigate the cost of) this form of education.

      My point is that even home schooled children need not be entirely at the mercy of fate or chance when it comes to education. Like-minded parents can pool their knowledge and work together to provide quality information to their children.

  7. saratorvik says:

    I cannot believe you are seriously this daft.

    The truth is that lots of parents DO NOT TALK TO THEIR KIDS IN A REAL, IN DEPTH WAY ABOUT SEX. I know a lot of people who never got “the talk” from their parents. And those that did only got a vague, awkward conversation about “not doing it until you’re married” and then the parents left it at that. This does not mean that these are bad parents. It doesn’t mean that at all. It just means that our society has such warped views about sexuality and so many people are uncomfortable with the subject that it leaves a lot of things unsaid between parents and their children on the subject.

    Furthemore, schools teach a lot of things that parents don’t. We send our kids to school so that they can learn science, math, English, physical education, all sorts of things. And I think once kids hit their pubescent years, it’s important to bring conversations about bodies and sexuality into the equation too. I had sex ed in high school AND I was able to talk about it with my parents. And frankly, I think I got a more well-rounded view of sexuality because I wasn’t just hearing it from one source. And with all of the information I required from educators, from my parents and yes even my peers I was able to make informed decisions for myself about whether or not I was ready for sex. It’s important to foster critical thinking skills in young people, and let them make their own choices. And quite frankly, a good, comprehensive sex ed program will do just that. The one we had in our school talked about abstinence as the safest and best option, but it also let us know what our other options were, so that if we decided to become sexually active we would at least know how to protect ourselves. That is not a bad thing. Now stop thumping your bible and step into the real world, please.

    • Dee Jakes says:

      Thumping his Bible???? Just so you know, that IS some peoples real world… so get used to it.

      • saratorvik says:

        Yeah, you know what? It’s possible to be Christian without being a self-righteous, ignorant bible-thumper.

        • AthenaC says:

          Where’s the “Like” button? I need one for your comment and snappy comeback.

        • cdciii says:

          And it’s also possible to be a human without being a self-righteous, ignorant thumper too. Everything you need to know about sex ed could be done in segregated (M/F) one to two hour classes if education were the point of it all. The mechanics of sex and disease control just aren’t all that complex. But why is it the duty of one person to pick up on the failed duty of another in a coerced forum in the first place? What gives a teacher the right, the duty to do so? The gov’t? From where does its mandate come to force such a thing?

          If our government’s mandate is from the consent of the people AND its purpose is to protect us from enemies from without and predators from within, how does forced sex ed fit into that program? Does it not violate the very concept of a free people to have a nanny state that knows when you heed to blow your nose and regulates the very act?

          I grew up BEFORE sex ed was a twinkle in Banned Parenthood’s eye. Believe me, without my parents input, I knew as much as I needed to by the time I was 14. Bit later than most, but I lived a sheltered life (my dad was too embarrassed ny the subject). I wish it had been otherwise, but never the less I knew the mechanics and enough of the consequences to live life responsibly. More than that, I had been given a respect of God and society that kept me from exercising my desires, something totally absent from the forced mental rape of sex ed in the schools since then.

          Today, the mechanics are taught, the various methods of those mechanics are taught, the supposed statistics concerning those methods are taught, but most of all the indulgence of it is taught and celebrated to hormone driven youth who have little fear or incentive to avoid in predatory exploitation of the others around them. After all, it’s just sex. Sex which can (I beg the reader’s forgiveness) screw a life up for its duration for one single act of folly.

          The one thing missing from modern sex ed is the moral basis that would govern the when of sex. It would be more conscionable to give a 5 year old boy a loaded pistol and say, “go have fun” than it is to say the same thing to a 14 year old (or younger, much younger in many cases) in the matter of sex. At least the 5 year old will run out of bullets and the damage will be limited…

        • Crystal says:

          How would you know? Are you a Christian? What point of reference are you constantly making all these judgements about Christianity from? I think it’s interesting that you are one of Matt’s consistent readers and commenters, yet you never agree with anything he says, and you rake him over the coals for his point of view each and every time. Why do you keep coming back here? Only to argue? I can’t imagine revisiting a blogger over and over and over that I vehemently disagree with. Get a life.

          And by the way, anybody who calls themself a Christian, yet does not “Bible-thump” as you say … is not a Christian. The Bible is what a Christian believes, lives by, adheres to, teaches their family, shouts from the rooftop. It’s the doctrine of our life. So, you’re wrong. We are all called to be “Bible-thumpers” by the Bible itself (in words of a higher quality, of course)… don’t develop an opinion about what a Christian is if you are not one.

        • Andrea says:

          Here here!

          Christ focused on helping the underprivileged, the sick and the poor above all else. Poverty and lack of education are directly linked to early sex and teenage pregnancy. It drives me crazy to think that we could even remotely pull Sex Ed out of schools knowing this direct link. It takes more than 1-2 hours to truly address human sexuality.

          Now the kids – especially girls – are going through puberty significantly earlier than ever before it is all the more important to address this head on. I remember in 5th grade the school pulled the girls out of our classrooms to sit in a special class to learn about our bodies – so we can know what is coming before our breasts started growing and began our periods. This was in the mid 80s, when the average age of first menstruation was at 12-13 yrs. Now a considerable amount of girls are starting at 10-11, which means hormones of a 17yr old in the 80s is what a 14yr old will be experiencing today. Arm them with technology that enables them to have very private thoughts and photos shared and we’ve now got a big problem.

          Sex Ed shouldn’t just be about the mechanics of anatomy, it should also be about discussing the strange new urges and feelings that these kids are having and how to deal with them. It needs to focus on respecting your body so that not only does a kid not have sex before they’re mature enough but so that they don’t cheapen or violate themselves with actions like sexting, emailing topless photos, or wearing incredibly provocative clothing. All of those actions are linked to how kids are trying to handle the emergence of their sexuality.

      • saratorvik says:

        I come here because for some reason, Matt Walsh’s posts end up getting posted all over my Facebook, so I’ve been inundated with his perspective for months. And you know what? It’s not even a bad thing to engage in arguments and discussions with people you disagree with. I don’t know why some of you seem to think that just because I’m not a right-wing Christian I can’t comment. Sometimes different viewpoints are good so that something doesn’t turn into a complete echo chamber, and lets face it, that’s mostly what this blog is.

        And I’m sorry, Crystal, but if you think being a “Bible-thumper” is the only way to be a Christian you are sadly mistaken. The term Bible-thumper does not have good connotations. Here’s the first definition I found:

        “One who uses the Bible to attack/defame others’ characters instead of as a guide to proper living. These people tend to be depressingly ignorant of anything else except the Bible”

        Sounds pretty accurate of most people here, including Matt Walsh himself. Now, if he and most of you choose to be fearful of everything that doesn’t conform to your small “biblical” worldview, and cast stones at others then that’s your prerogative. But you’re not exactly following the true example of Christ. You’re just thumping a Bible. There’s a big difference.

        So whatever. Enjoy railing against sex ed, health care, feminism and everything else that you think is scary and wrong in this world. You won’t change anything for the better though. You’ll just keep alienating people. The world is changing. Get used to it or become irrelevant.

        • Crystal says:

          Your definition comes from … not exactly a reputable source. And it was the “first definition you came to” … so it doesn’t make it right or legitimate in this argument. The Websters definition is a little less emotional … “an overzealous advocate of Christian fundamentalism” … and to that I would have to agree with my original point … the Bible calls us to be overzealous and passionate about Jesus Christ. Historically, “bible thumper” has been used as a religious slur to target anyone engaged in a public show of religion, fundamentalist or not. So again, it’s you calling us names for using the Bible as a source. I will stick with my original argument, and since you are not a Christian I am assuming … it’s not really up to you to decide what a Christian should and should not be.
          As far as debating with people, I don’t believe it’s wrong for anyone to engage in that. It just seems to me that you continue to come here and bash this man for his point of view. This is his personal blog, and you do not have to click on those links you see on Facebook and read what he says. You actually can make your own decisions. You are not getting into a random conversation with someone who you just happen to disagree with and then end up engaged in a healthy debate. You come here intentionally and then last out at him for his views. It is my opinion based on your continued responses to his blog that you enjoy ridiculing him for his “small minded” approach, when in fact … anyone who cannot accept another person’s opinion without getting irate is actually the small minded one.
          And I’m sorry, but it’s highly unlikely the Christian religion will ever become irrelevant. It’s far more likely, given the history of Christianity, the Bible, and other worldview options throughout the course of time, that your liberal post-modernism will come and go rather than the single most influential movement to ever exist.

        • saratorvik says:

          You do realize the irony of criticizing me for “ridiculing” Matt Walsh when the entire premise of his blog is built on ridiculing people, right? I mean, it’s not like he is simply posting harmless blog posts about his personal opinions. He goes on the attack constantly against those that he deems less moral than he is, and usually his opinions are rooted in fear mongering and not in fact. This is absolutely dangerous and I will make a point of, on occasional, calling that out. You act like I’m in every single post he writes, when in fact, I have not commented for months, but feel compelled to ever so often.

          Also, I’m not sure why you’re defending the term Bible-thumper. I was under the impression that most people, Christians and non-Christians alike agreed that it was not a good way to be. Most Christians I know recoil at the term because of it’s connotations with being judgmental and self-righteous. The fact is that most people probably know the term by the urban dictionary definition and that’s exactly the kind of behavior that I see on this blog constantly. But honestly, the dictionary definition doesn’t really paint the term in a flattering light either. Fundamentalism of any kind can be dangerous. But hey, if you think the term accurately describes you and your believes as a Christian, well, good for you. That’s… special. But I don’t t think most people share your views that it’s something that Christians should aspire to be.

        • gina says:

          I’m curious to know what your understanding of Christianity is. I’m also curious to know why you think you have any authority to say what a Christian should or shouldn’t do if you aren’t one.

          Additionally I am curious why you chose to call the blogger out on his “Bible-thumping” when he didn’t once mention the Bible in his post.

          You, perhaps, feel bombarded by Matt Walsh’s opinionated posts on Facebook, but as a Christian, I feel bombarded by left-wing liberal agenda/perspective as well. It goes both ways. One of the basic freedom’s that comes with living in the United States is the freedom of press. So go ahead and disagree with Matt Walsh and whomever else you please, but don’t you dare condemn anyone for verbally expressing their views however they choose. Part of the world is changing, and part of the world is fighting to save itself – “get used to it.”

          I also just couldn’t be more frustrated with the language that you use to discuss our worldview. In case you haven’t noticed, we actually exist in the same world that you do. We have bodies and minds that function just like yours. We don’t have a smaller worldview than yours – we just have a different one. And we actually are not afraid of “progressive” views. We just hold true to a school of thought that has been preserved for 2000+ years. You are so concerned about how unjustly we have voiced our opinions, meanwhile you’ve neglected to see how rude your intrusive accusations are.

          Actually, one of my favorite little Christian condemnation paradoxes is when people metaphorically “cast stones” at others for not refraining from “casting the first stone.” It’s funny because in trying to be clever about your accusation of Bible-thumping, you Bible-thumped a bunch of Christians in a cliche and paradoxical Christian way.

          Honestly I don’t think you have a clear understanding of what our agenda is as Christians, and I don’t think you have a true grasp of the example of Christ. I don’t say this to blame you. I just want to give you something to think about. Perhaps re-examine what we are saying through a more objective lens, as you progressive liberals so haughtily claim to do, and instead of spewing more opinions, ask more honest questions.

    • Dilly Bar says:

      Besides that, schools don’t always do that great of a job teaching it either. The first sex talk I got at school was a lot more awkward than the one from my mom (yes, my parents DID teach me about it. how does everyone know what MOST parents do in the privacy of their own homes anyways?). The teachers didn’t really tell us what we needed to know at all. They just drew a picture of a vagina and said “Don’t be scared, it’s really FUN.” It was bizarre.

  8. Steve Black says:

    REALLY! I am just having a heck of a time trying to figure out how humanity survived at all! I mean with all of these “stupid parents” how did the past generations of kids figure out how to keep the human race going? GOSH!

    Seriously, there are some good caring educators out there but I have some teachers in the family who (and this is becoming the way that a vast number of teachers think these days) really believe that parents should not be involved in educating there own kids any more. They look at themselves as these icons of knowledge and wisdom and that they know way better how to raise your kids than you do! Parents need to wake up and take control of their school boards while it is still possible to reverse these trends.

  9. I would like to add to my above comment. We live on a farm. My son has known about sex since he was about 4 years old. He witnessed it every day. He grew up knowing the result of sex, but we had to help him along, as was age appropriate, as the purpose of sex in human relations. He has a very healthy and moral view of sex as a result.

  10. At our kids school they give you the option to have your child opt out of this course. Is that not a nationwide thing? This puts the control back into the parents hands on how they want to handle this delicate topic. I asked my teenagers if they wanted to learn sex-ed at home or at school. They unanimously voted and were very persistent in wanting to learn sex ed at school, not from their parents. So we let them take the course at school but lightly talked about a few topics at home, including abstinence.

    • leslieweaverart says:

      I’m reading through all of these replies. Wow, has it created a stir! I like your comment the best… ask the children where they would prefer to hear it. If you aren’t comfortable with that as a parent, then make sure you discuss it before the school does (if they are not offered an option to opt out of the class). I personally plan on having the talk with my girls beforehand….so we can discuss the option of abstinence and why that would be their best course of action in the long run.

    • Joyce Brown says:

      Katie, all 3 of my kids attended the Sex Ed offered at their schools, and that is because I showed up for the Parent Preview to see exactly what the presentation was going to be. I was SHOCKED at the quality of the presentation, it was really, really good. But do you know how many parents showed up for the preview? 4 or less, at each presentation. I was incredulous. Oh wait, now that I think about it, for the presentation my daughter saw there were actually about 15 parents at that presentation. But far, far less than the number of students slated to get the information.

  11. Steve says:

    From Andrea…
    “My husband was the son of a policeman and a nurse and was never given the ‘sex talk’. Scary. Sex Ed is important because of the consequences to society if girls get pregnant young and the family can’t afford the baby. If the teenager’s parents never teach the teenager hoe to ride a bike then there’s not a dramatic impact to society. If the parents don’t teach their kids about sex – and the schools don’t either – then we have newly born lives on our hands that may not be able to be cared for.”

    OK, Andrea, not sure why your husband being the son of a policeman is relevant to this topic, but I’ll go with it. If we are going to have droves of unwed teenagers having babies without the schools teaching Sex Education, then why is the “unwed, teen pregnancy” epidemic only now an epidemic, as opposed to the incredibly lower rates during the decades when schools weren’t teaching about sex, handing out condoms, etc?

    • Jillian says:

      I can think of several reasons for this. I’ll mention a few. First, any statistics about teen sex and pregnancy from past generations need to be looked at critically. Back 50 years ago, it was still commonplace for parents to send their pregnant teen off to live with a relative until the birth of the child. Then said child would either be placed for adoption or would be raised by the teen mother’s parents as a sibling. It was also not unheard of for teens who became pregnant to seek dangerous forms of abortion that often resulted in their death. You need to also remember that at that point in history, people married much younger so abstinence seemed a much more realistic goal for them. It was also a point in history where things were kept much more private than they are today. If a wife was being verbally or physically abused, she would stay in the marriage because at that point, divorce was shunned more than beating your spouse. It was a different time with different cultural norms. Needless to say, their statistics may not be entirely accurate.

      Another contributing factor to any increase in teen sexuality is the hyper sexual culture combined with a lack of strong values being instilled at home. Kids now are also hitting puberty younger than previous generations. These are just a few things that any increase in teen pregnancy rates can be attributed to.

    • Andrea says:

      I noted his parents professions to illustrate that he was raised solidly middle class and that the lack of sex conversations at home was not just happening in lower HHI homes.

      Steve you bring up a great point about teen pregnancy rates and how they coincide with when Sex Ed started being taught in the classroom. It definitely feels like the rates are growing, especially when you see those crappy shows like Teen Mom.

      As of 2008 (study was released a year ago and more recent info is not yet available) US teen pregnancy rates have reached its lowest point in 40 years. Over the course of those 40 years it reached its peak in 1990. By 2008 teenage abortion rates reached their lowest point since it became legal in 1973.

      On a state by state basis the states with the highest teen pregnancy are Texas, New Mexico, Mississippi, Nevada and Arkansas. Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, North Dakota and Minnesota have the lowest. Hispanic and African American teen pregnancy rates continue to be substantially higher than non-Hispanic white teen rates.

      I’m not entirely sure when Sex Ed begun being taught in the classroom but my parents were in high school in the 60s and it wasn’t taught to them. So, perhaps it begun on a more national basis in the 1970s? I’d love to know as I’m not entirely sure. If it was the 70s then it is directly tied to the study I noted above.

      I think what is interesting is that when we look at other first world countries -such as Scandinavian countries – they teach sex ed in schools and have lower pregnancy rates than the US. Which is a little counter intuitive when we think about how open sexuality is there as well as the significantly lower rates of people who believe in God – or at least it’s counterintuitive to what we Americans think is needed for a stable society. Now, a country like Sweden is 1/30 the size of the US so the diversity is more limited and it’s significantly easier to get something deployed in a smaller system. But I wonder if they have something we can learn and apply over here that could help us.

      Statistically we also know that girls are less likely to be pregnant if they’re actively involved in after school activities such as sports. This may be due to those activities giving girls a higher sense of self worth that doesn’t hinge on her sexuality or simply the fact that it puts her in a structured supervised environment for 2+ hours outside of normal classes. So, when we think about attacking this issue to continue the decline (because there’s no guarantee that it won’t rebound at some point) we should be thinking holistically about the different touch points that can help as well.

  12. Pingback: Comprehensive Sex Ed; Response to Matt Walsh’s blog | 2% Magic

  13. Melissa says:

    I am an awesome parent. I teach my kids what they need to know and talk about everything, I am trying to pass on my values to them. I was the product of a broken home with not so great parents but I turned out pretty darn good withou sex ed!

  14. Denise says:

    Matt, there is a beautiful gem in your article that I haven’t even seen touched on in the comments.
    “The problem is this: in order to effectively raise your kids, you have to maintain a special relationship with them. They have to be attached to you, to a certain extent, and they have to look to YOU for guidance, reassurance, and love.”
    I have adopted 2 children, and as a result I have spent hours and hours studying what the top child psychologists are learning, discovering and sharing about attachment. Matt, I don’t know if YOU even know how right and true your words are. There is nothing we as parents can teach their children, if we are not their main and first attachment. But our society is set up in a way that rips that attachment to parents away at a very young age and we are just rolling over and assuming that daycare workers and teachers can somehow do this better than us! As a matter of fact, many parents now don’t even understand or know about attachment at all – even with their biological children because they themselves were not brought up to be attached to their parents (statistically 45% of American parents don’t attach to their children… the stats are rising in alarming rates). We often expect that our children will want to be with their friends more than us, even from very young. We expect that all teens need to go through a time of rebellion and sexual exploration. These things were never even considered as ok in my grandparents time or before. Even before I knew about attachment and adoption, I was reading books like “Hold On To Your Kids – Why Parents Matter More Than Peers” by Dr Gordon Neufeld.
    Teaching our kids about sex, or not teaching our kids about sex… non of it really matters if our children are more attached to peers than their parents. They won’t take anything parents say as truth if they believe their peers or teachers more. So many of these topics you are talking about (and I’m glad you are) all come down to the fact that we need to learn how to be and stay attached to our children as they grow. To be their safe place, their source of wisdom and guidance. To be what God intended parents to be. Their North Star as you so beautifully worded it.

  15. Virginia says:

    I love you, Matt.

  16. Justin Walker says:

    Wow, really? I’m pretty sure people are trying to make the statement that Parents need to take more responsibility. And since when did public schooling and government and Sex Education become synonyms? Where did anyone say “Most of them also pistol-whip puppies and steal from the homeless, presumably”? I almost stopped reading your blog right there, and maybe I should have, Why do you blow everything out of proportion? Is it because being logical and open with your views doesn’t make for good writing/reading?

    People want to blame the government, they want to blame the media, they want to blame video games but they never stop and point a finger back at themselves. All of your diatribe just fuels that self entitled mania that is sweeping the United States, and the world, when are we going to take responsibility for our own actions?

    You claim it’s harder than ever to be a parent, and you’re right. It is tough being a parent in such a connected world where everyone has a cell phone and a computer. And what’s worse usually both parent’s have to work to put food on the table and keep a roof over their kid’s head. So why do you want to attack public education for trying to help? Are you so proud to not accept assistance, did you forget to read that part in Christianity about being humble? Pretty sure there is a part in there about being “part of the world” but not ” ‘of’ the world,” to me that means you should be educated, you should know what is going on in the world, but that doesn’t mean you have to take part in it. Just because you teach ‘safe sex’ and abstinence doesn’t mean you are giving your kid a free pass to participate. Not everyone is going to get that “quality” education that you provide to your children, so why would you want to take away what little the other children get? That sounds pretty un-Christian-like to me.

    tldr: Parent’s please be involved in your kids lives, it’s important, but if you can’t be there don’t be afraid to accept the assistance offered by others. Also, not everyone is a super mom/dad, so stop trying to take away their chance to educate their children.

    But I suppose we can just sit back and let whimsy take its course as you (Matt) propose, we’ll just sit back and let the world come crashing down around us and just pretend that it’s not happening. We’ll continue to point our finger at someone else while the earth crumbles away beneath our feet and still find a way to blame it all away.

    • AthenaC says:

      “Is it because being logical and open with your views doesn’t make for good writing/reading?”

      Only if you’re not a very good writer.

  17. Marie says:

    Love the article. Pure genius.

  18. Tristi says:

    “Mine, for instance, is to raise my children to love God. That’s all I want for them. Everything else is either a distant second or completely irrelevant.” Yes! Reading your blog makes me feel less alone in the way I desire to live. Thank you!

  19. “The problem is this: in order to effectively raise your kids, you have to maintain a special relationship with them. They have to be attached to you, to a certain extent, and they have to look to YOU for guidance, reassurance, and love. They have to be oriented towards you and by you, their compasses have to be set according to you. You must be their North Star, their light in the darkness, their trail in the woods.”

    You hit the nail on the head here. I am a teacher in a high poverty area. The main issue here is that children are having children. They really do not know how to be a parent. Some do not understand the importance of connecting with their children.

    I feel so incredibly blessed that I have such a positive, nurturing relationship with my two girls. My oldest will talk to me about sensitive topics. She is also active in church and loves God. My youngest is running after God and searching to find what His purpose is for her life. We enjoy each other’s company and she has told me that she would rather hang out with me than her best friend.

    Please understand I do not think of my daughters as my friends. We have rules and they follow them. We respect one another and I allow them to make their own mistakes without coming to the rescue. I am supportive, but I refuse to allow them not to have consequences for their mistakes. It is all about guiding them and hoping they follow your advice. But, when they do not, it is reassuring to see them admit their mistakes, deal with the repercussions and move on. That is how they learn to be an adult.

    Parents are to be the living example of our heavenly Father. just as He disciplines His children, we do our best to discipline ours. It is not easy, but nothing worth doing usually is. Patience and being connected to Jesus is key. Trust me. Without Jesus, my family would not be as close as we are and our daughters would not be as mature.

  20. Chris says:

    Love your writings!
    The problem with “public education” is that it is impossible to teach without indoctrinating. Someone’s point of view will necessarily be encouraged, so who gets to decide whose point of view?
    If Superman taught chemistry, just how much lab time would be spent showing the kids how to make Kryptonite? Are we surprised that government schools don’t teach the Constitution? It IS, by design, governmental Kryptonite.
    Ever notice how a Devout Muslim feels obligated to interject “Allah be praised” every sentence or two? What’s the difference between that and a “biology” text that is obligated to say “evolved” every other sentence, rather than simply describing known facts? We are lead to believe that there exists a singular theory of evolution that all rational folks believe vs. a multitude of crackpot religions. In fact, there are a multitude of theories of evolution. Darwin’s theory was a response to Lamark’s theory, and so on. Boil it down, there are two theories: The Intelligent Design Theory & The Dumb Luck Theory. Only crackpots like Einstein believe in intelligent design.

    • Jillian says:

      Um, I’m not sure what public schools you have experience with, but in went to public school my whole life and learned the constitution in several different courses over several years. One of my favorite classes was my government and economics class (required in most states in high school) where we would have class wide, heated debates about different applications of the law and constitution. Did you go to public school?

  21. skilitchi says:

    I appreciate your articles! Always gives me something to think about.

  22. mane says:

    I think the important thing is not to have “the sex talk”, but to allow it to be a regular conversation that comes up from time to time as kids grow and mature. General and basic for the young kids, and getting more detailed as they grow. One “talk” does not a conversation make.

  23. ann says:

    The question is, why are so many parents reluctant/awkward when talking about sex? Could it be that… I daresay… we were just not meant to talk about sex after all? That we weren’t meant to talk about it, read about it, joke about it, think about it, watch it happen in movies, on TV, listen to songs about it, teach it in classrooms; and that in doing these things, which have caused at least a real loss of sexual privacy, we have also lost something essential and human? What else have we lost?

    Sex ed makes kids more comfortable with talking about sex, for it is not so much an education as it is an initiation. The public aspect of this initiation, the classroom setting, eliminates natural protections like embarrassment and shame and runs counter to the understanding of the uniquely beautiful privacy of sex. Kids learn about our most profound, intimate, lovely, bonding, life-giving act in a classroom of their peers with charts and fluorescent lights and videos and textbooks and quizzes. This is wrong on so many levels.

    The fact that we are being asked to vaccinate 12 year olds for STDs tells us all we need to know about the monumental failure of sex ed. Mankind has managed to perpetuate the species for millennia without classroom instruction on the mechanics of sex, so the notion that it is necessary is preposterous. It’s amazing how many very good-hearted people still believe it is necessary, not seeing the damage for what it is and forgetting that before 60 years no one ever had classroom sex ed in the history of the world. And yet here we are.

    • Jacob says:

      The problem with this theory is that kids are curious, especially about these sorts of things, especially during puberty. It’s not like if the kids never hear about sex, then they will stay innocent and completely ignorant of sex until one day while they are married they have a magnificent realization and say “Oh, that’s what that’s for!” If you don’t explain to kids about sex – and the proper time and use of sex – then they are just going to discover it themselves through playground talk, the Internet, or worst of all through experience. Trust me, kids discovering sex themselves is not a good idea as kids don’t understand the consequences of sex or where the limits of intimacy should be. The schools don’t help either because they teach about sex, but don’t properly teach about the morality of sex and treat it as just another normal thing (which then leads to those 12 year olds needing STD shots). Whether a kid takes school’s sex ed or not, parents should properly teach their children about sex and the consequences of sex or else kids will grow up with their own ideas about sex that are not healthy or normal. If you create this awkward tension – like you are trying to hide something from your kids – then it will just make them all the more curious and when they do discover sex, they won’t understand it and the meaning it holds and then they will fall and not even realize it.

    • Jacob says:

      The problem with this theory is that kids are curious, especially about these sorts of things, especially during puberty. It’s not like if the kids never hear about sex, then they will stay innocent and completely ignorant of sex until one day while they are married they have a magnificent realization and say “Oh, that’s what that’s for!” If you don’t explain to kids about sex – and the proper time and use of sex – then they are just going to discover it themselves through playground talk, the Internet, or worst of all through experience. Trust me, kids discovering sex themselves is not a good idea as kids don’t understand the consequences of sex or where the limits of intimacy should be. The schools don’t help either because they teach about sex, but don’t properly teach about the morality of sex and treat it as just another normal thing (which then leads to those 12 year olds needing STD shots). Whether a kid takes school’s sex ed or not, parents should properly teach their children about sex and the consequences of sex or else kids will grow up with their own ideas about sex that are not healthy or normal. If you create this awkward tension – like you are trying to hide something from your kids – then it will just make them all the more curious and when they do discover sex, they won’t understand it and the meaning it holds and then they will fall and not even realize it.

  24. K says:

    YES!!! Just YES!!! Keep writing, Matt!

  25. T-Cat says:

    Wow, I thought that the article was fantastic. I loved it! “Mine, for instance, is to raise my children to love God. That’s all I want for them. Everything else is either a distant second or completely irrelevant.”

    I’m sorry about all the negative and attacking feedback. Harsh! Settle down folks! Getting worked up over a facebook post or article is not worth it. And why bother? What are we trying to prove when we get in these arguments? If you don’t like the article don’t share it, stop reading, etc. Don’t ruin it for those of us that do like it, all the feedback is so disturbing. Why do we think that we can say whatever we want on somebody else’s post? Scary…

    • ColdCaseFanatic says:

      Because we can. Because we live in a free country, we were “supposedly” given free will and neither you T-Cat or anyone else has any business telling others that they can’t say what they want and express how THEY feel on any given issue or topic. Be VERY careful with your words and your controlling tendencies else wise someone else can very easily come along turn it completely on you. “Oh you can’t say these things anymore because we think your feedback is so disturbing because its sickeningly sweet and passive aggressive, much like poisoned honey.” In any case, so terribly sorry this has been “ruined” for you and your sensitive little feelings have been upset by all this “scary” and “disturbing” feedback. I’m sure mommy will cuddle and kiss you and make you feel all betters and you won’t ever have to see anything that challenges you or makes you even a tiny bit uncomfortable ever again.

  26. Diane says:

    This is the big lie: Parents can’t properly educate their children. Because this lie is told, it is believed, because it is believed, it is affirmed. It’s self-fulfilling prophecy people. When really, parents never should have bought the lie to begin with. If you step outside of the cultural norms, look at the whole of history, and make assessments and observations on these grounds, it is *very* clear that the government, for over a hundred years now, has been trying to weasel their way into the foundation of society (family). What more vulnerable a target than our children? What more insidious strategy is there than to create a culture phenomenon known as “the public school system” that will educate (read: indoctrinate) our children for us while mothers are flung out of homes believing they need to work to keep up with the “status quo” or worse, to have any value whatsoever.

    Matt, if you see this comment, I highly recommend “The Underground History of American Education” by John Taylor Gatto

    I think we are all a little bit blind, religious or not, to think that the government actually has better intentions for our children than we do. Sex ed or no sex ed, the point is that the “conversation”… the great conversation about life, liberty, and love (including sex and all of its complexities) has been taken out of the hands of the parents or handed over by the parents to the U.S. government. Now it’s expected, it’s tradition, it’s normal to unquestioningly let the government fill the minds of our kids with whatever curricula, thoughts, ideas, and theories it so chooses.

  27. Kim says:

    Religious instruction is the number one reason everyone touts, but I think higher SAT scores ties or is a close second. SAT scores is all I ever read about homeschoolers. With only 2.9% of children being homeschooled, the effectiveness of homeschooling by SAT scores are skewed. I think as homeschooling numbers go up, say around 10-20%, the SAT scores will be flat to down, and suddenly won’t look attractive. Everyone needs to remember public schools use to have those kinds of SAT scores, but blacks were not given an equal education due to segregation, and the disabled were shuttled off to institutions; these groups used to not be counted are now part of the public school system. We now have a total picture of our educated population. These dynamics are usually not found in homeschooling, could be in the future, and, as more join in, probably will dilute the “wonderfulness” of homeschooling.

    I like homeschooling. With 2.9% not attending public schools, the school can concentrate on the more students. This is only the first wave of homeschoolers, so I don’t bank much on them. It’s the third wave I’m waiting for. I think as more people join homeschooling, public schools will get better, then the schools’ playing field will be leveled, even improved.

    • ann says:

      The SAT is not mandatory. Less than half of all high school seniors take it, usually those who are college bound, so the groups you mention are not counted unless heading to college. So that’s not the reason for the problems with low scores.

    • Jewel4778 says:

      Wow, that was racist to say the least…..

  28. kkrider says:

    ………….And I bet nearly all of the “exception” comments could be remedied if sex ed was simply removed from schools. Yes, it would be uncomfortable. YES there would be times where people really wouldn’t want to say anything. But when it becomes a necessity for them to tell their children (if ever), then the problem will resolve itself. I think if people’s education is lacking all that much, they can research it. I mean, really? You WILL use math, science, and logic in life. A forced sexual education essentially means that your priorities have to match the school’s or you will be considered a bad parent simply because they think your children will have to use certain things in life that you may disagree with.

  29. Stephanie says:

    So true…thank you!!!

  30. Michele says:

    Home-School, Matt. It’s the only solution.

  31. Jeanne Perrone says:

    Dear Matt,

    I really appreciate your satirical humor. You hit on so many subjects that need to be addressed, and deserve to get ripped into. Complaining may not resolve the issues, but at the very least, it’s a release for you, and it gives your readers a feeling that justice is somewhat being served (albeit only in our minds) as we scornfully laugh along with you; relieved to see that we have someone else on our side, who can vent for us. . . but do so in a comical way.

    Thank you for your blog.

    Ms. J

    Date: Sat, 18 Jan 2014 20:58:57 +0000 To:

  32. I know a number of parents who are more than happy to skip the awkward sex talk because school will have it. They would talk about sex if they knew it was up to them. It’s unfortunate that they are willing to abdicate the difficult responsibilities because they lose out on increased love and trust with their children. As has been stated, let school teach the biology, I will teach morality (and biology, too).

  33. Shawn Weisser says:

    As a parent and a teacher, I see the results of sex ed in school. Frankly, they are no better than no sex ed classes. They do not work. I can tell my students about sexually transmissible disease and safe sex but if is not reinforced at home it makes no difference at all. Otherwise, our students would not be getting pregnant in middle and high school now. It does not work. Many of those parents were in sex ed classes 10-20 years ago. It is a cycle that needs to be broken but teaching kids about condoms and diseases isn’t going to work. It hasn’t worked. Self esteem and academic achievement work. There have always been sucky parents, we can not legislate “bad parenting.” Hold parents accountable for their kids, like in the “olden days,” and we might see a bit of those issues disappear.

  34. sheeba maretti says:

    I love your blog. My children are grown and I am now enjoying my first grandchild. I remember what you are talking about while my kids were out at school and little league etc. I recently found a film that gave one possible reason for that wedge and really made me think…”maybe it wasn’t just a lot of separate organizations and individuals out to put every stress test possible on the family” Like you said, the media, Hollywood, the schools…so many wanted to influence their way of thinking. Please have a look at it. It was very interesting from a great perspective with many different cited sources.

  35. Kristina says:

    As a parent of two special needs children (ADHD and Down syndrome), I can tell you that dealing with the “professionals” in the public school system is a farce. And, this is all the more vivid to me as I work professionally in adult education and training in the private sector and have degrees that are the equivalent of or higher than the “professionals” I deal with in the public school system. First of all, there is no denying that working under a collective bargaining agreement in the public sector does something to one’s sense of motivation and innovation, i.e., it completely eradicates it. I see performance issues in the public school amongst the staff (and I live in one of the best public school systems in my state) that would result in termination in the private sector in a matter of months. And please don’t respond with “but the teachers are so low paid, so give them a break” mantra. The teachers in my district all hold Master’s and higher (they don’t hire teachers with Bachelors) have benefits that most of us in the private sector covet, work 9 months out of the year and collect a salary on average over $100K. Heck, teachers at this public school drive BMWs. I don’t think that poor pay is the issue here. It’s lack of accountability, lack of innovation, lack of leadership, and lack of motivation.

    I push against this notion that today’s parents are “uninvolved losers.” During my IEP (legally mandated meetings for special education) meetings with the staff at my elementary school, I can assure you that my input is not sought after, and is generally the source of disagreement, and dismissal. There is nothing quite like receiving a smug and dismissive platitude from a public educator that is evidently thinking about something more substantive to them (probably their latest Craigslist Ad) than my child’s special needs education. What generally will get their attention is an outside MD or PhD prompt to do something; this does result in action. However, my input as the biological mother, who is 45 years of age, holds 2 Master’s Degrees, and has been employed continuously in the private sector since the age of 22, is completely disregarded. How could little old me possibly know what is best for my child?

    Amazingly, I just found this entity called the “Charter School.” I put my artistically inclined, but ADD and POS designation on the Autism scale IEP child on the wait list for the local artistically driven Charter School. Amazingly, these teachers design curriculum around the child’s strengths; imagine that! Even those kids that don’t have IEPs! I see innovation, I see vision, i see passion, and I see accountability within the staff. What is difference? These teachers are not unionized and are incentivized, with their bonuses driven by how they perform based on predetermined quality metrics. Amazing..that’s just like the private sector!

    Now my rant is complete. The issue of discussing sex and reproduction with your children. This is part of a process that begins young and continues as the child matures. I do think that the public school system does bear a responsibility for a major public health issue, such as this. After all, it is a public institution.

    And to the home school parents…how do you do this and still afford to eat?

  36. You ought to take part in a contest for one of the highest quality blogs online.
    I am going to recommend this blog!

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