Dear A&E, congratulations, you just committed suicide


Dear A&E,

I read that you are indefinitely suspending Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty after he quoted the Bible and said that the homosexual act is sinful. I get it, guys. I do. You punished the Christian guy for being a Christian because you got some angry emails from a bunch of whiny gay activists who lack the spine and maturity to deal with the fact that there are still people out there who have the guts to articulate opinions that they find disagreeable. In so doing, you’ve kowtowed to a pushy minority of vocal bullies who don’t even watch your channel, while alienating the fan base of the one show that keeps your entire network afloat.

Makes sense.

You’ve got standards, after all. You wouldn’t want to be associated with tasteless and inappropriate things. The people on Duck Dynasty can’t be allowed to run around being all Christian-like. It might ruin the reputation of the network whose other shows include Hoarders and Intervention — programs that invite viewers to gawk at drug addicts and the mentally ill for their own amusement.

Disney-ABC Television Group owns 50 percent of your network, were they involved in this decision? They must have been. They’ve got a brand to protect. They can’t allow a bearded right winger to spout beliefs. BELIEFS, of all things. The horror! We must shutdown beliefs, opinions, and ideas, and get back to the serious business of selling sex and debauchery to children. They can’t deal with these distractions, don’t they have another season of The Bachelor or Desperate Housewives or Trophy Wife to produce?

Good Lord, these militant neo-liberal thought police are better at brainwashing than I ever realized. They just convinced you to torpedo your own network. You guys just kamikazed yourselves. You just pulled the pin on the grenade and then put it in your pocket. This is incredible. Didn’t you see what happened with Chic-fil-A when GLAAD crusaders tried to shutdown an entire business just because they disapproved of the owner’s opinions? Don’t you remember that? I’ll refresh your memory: their “boycott” resulted in an enormous sales spike for the company, as millions of people like myself went out of our way to eat there just to ensure that the anti-free speech fools on the left didn’t win. A week after the anti-Chic-fil-A campaign began, their restaurants across the country were overflowing. It was, officially, the least effective boycott in the history of mankind.

Now it’s all going to happen again, except it will be the opposite effect, and you’ll be on the losing end this time around.

If you don’t bring Phil back immediately, and publicly apologize to him and to his viewers for attempting to censor his Christian faith, Duck Dynasty will leave your network, find a new home, and all of those ratings will go somewhere else. Then you’ll be stuck with the stragglers who feel like spending a Saturday rubbernecking at mentally disturbed elderly women with compulsive hoarding addictions. That’s how this is going to play out. Congratulations.

Did you think the “gay rights” crowd would stick around and “support you” for meeting their ransom demands? No, silly A&E, that isn’t how this works. The speech-controllers on the left are like a black hole. They can only suck you in and obliterate you. They’re like the devil — they ask for your soul and offer nothing in return.

Am I coming on too strong?

Just wait.

Just you wait.

This is the worst decision you’ve ever made. Well, “Bonnie and Clyde” was the worst decision, but this is a close second. Speaking of which, just to make sure we’re clear, the violent mini-series glorifying a couple of thugs who robbed some banks and killed some people 80 years ago — OK. Wholesome family man quotes the Bible during an interview with GQ — UNACCEPTABLE. Is that the correct equation? Is that your business model?

Just to be doubly clear: you guys hate the Bible and find it to be offensive, right? Or is it just parts of the Bible? Or is it just Christians? Or is it just Christians who have the audacity to believe in the entire Bible, rather than a select few segments that pass the modern PC litmus test? Just let me know, and I’ll send the word along to my readers, many of whom are Christians who watch — I mean, used to watch –A&E. I’m sure they’ll be interested in finding out that you view their faith as so abhorrent that you’d fire a guy simply for quoting a passage from their Holy Book.

You made your bed. You decided to stand against free speech, against open expression of ideas, against Christians, against the Bible, against the views of a majority of humanity, against the most profitable show in the history of your network, and against almost all of your viewers. But, hey, at least you put a smile on GLAAD’s face. That must make it all worth it, right?


Everyone who isn’t a left wing extremist (AKA your former customer base)


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12,854 Responses to Dear A&E, congratulations, you just committed suicide

  1. Sav says:

    Youre a biggot. You’re opinions are backwards and quite hypocritical. I’ve found that you’ve listed several incorrect facts, and found a couple grammar mistakes. So yeah.
    Oh, and not to mention the title “Dear A&E, congratulations, you’ve just committed suicide.” In which, you appeared to be mocking suicide. Very professional. Makes you feel very macho, huh?
    Clearly, you need a wake up call.
    Stop being a prick and get your life together.
    A 14 year old that is clearly more intelligent than you are.

    • GAY kevin says:

      well put young man BEST thing in life ugly old dies and youth and reborn is the future

    • Kels says:

      First, if you are going to criticize somebody’s grammar, you should make sure that YOU don’t make more mistakes. Try learning the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Oh, and “youre” is not a word. Neither is “biggot”. It is spelled “bigot”. Having opinions with which somebody else does not agree does not make you bigoted.

      How is the title mocking suicide? Matt Walsh was simply stating his conclusion following A&E’s actions. Considering that Duck Dynasty is a reality show starring Christians, it follows that many viewers will share their morals. Therefore, if A&E suspends Phil Robertson from the show, obviously his decision will be met with outrage. So A&E basically did commit suicide.
      Besides, suicide does not just mean to physically kill yourself. Another definition is ” a course of action that is disastrously damaging to oneself or one’s own interests”. I would certainly say that suspending Phil Robertson from the beloved show Duck Dynasty was suicidal (= likely to have a disastrously damaging effect on oneself or one’s interests).

      Finally, if you say that you found incorrect facts, you need to name and prove them. Otherwise that argument is invalid.

      A 15-year-old who still has morals

    • christine says:

      LOL! I agree–since when is is okay to mock suicide and okay bigotry? Oh yeah…when you’re a brain-dead redneck.

  2. Tyler Wilkinson says:

    Regardless of whether or not he has the right to voice those opinions publicly (which he does), he doesn’t have the right to associate that with A&E. If you’ve read the article the quote comes from (which I’m assuming you didn’t), you’d notice the context. The show has already had issue with and confronted him about what was and was not appropriate to associate with the show. He has a job with them, he gets paid for that job, so they do have the right to dictate how that job is conducted, whether he has the right to believe it or not. He has every right to believe what he does, but in modern society the focus of all education has been tolerance and viewpoint. You can disagree with a gay person, but you can’t say they’re ‘wrong’. You can believe in your heart that only a white person deserves a certain job, but you can’t hate the black person in line in front of you waiting for his interview. It’s all in how we perceive these things to be. Just because you have an opinion, that doesn’t make YOUR opinion any more or less wrong than another’s. There is a group of religious zealots out there in our modern era that prove the point. If you look at Iraqi/Iranian Muslims today, their religious fervor has increased drastically in the last 30 years. In the 80’s you could hardly find a Muslim woman that wore a berk ha (face covering). Now it’s a law. That’s what happens when religion dictates policy. Or you have a country full of faithless heathens, with no respect for the life of the person next to them. One right-winged, the other left-winged. He could have handled the situation better. He knew that every word that came from his lips would be subject to quotation, even interpretation. He also knew that he represented not only his family, but the company signing the $200k per episode paychecks the family gets FOR the show. The family has it stated in contract that they are in control of their entire Duck Dynasty product line (hats, shirts, coozies, blankets, etc.) He has a forum for personal opinions. Not a public venue like GQ magazine. I don’t agree with a lot of what they as a family believe, but I’m an avid fan believing that his sense of family values and morality are what saved his clan from utterly destroying themselves with drugs and alcohol. Just because that belief saved his family, that doesn’t mean it will save the town, county, state, country, or planet. I don’t hate the Bible or find it offensive. If you believe that, you’re not listening. I don’t believe in the Bible as you do. I DO find it offensive when a Christian yells at me saying ‘it’s truth!’. You don’t know that. Not 1 Christian alive today knows that, because they weren’t present when it was written nor do they know the circumstances. Was it written from God’s hand, or was it written by a group of men that were trying their best to control an out-of-control population plagued with hatred and warfare that had lasted for centuries before it’s first words were ascribed? Speaking of things you said, is it just parts of A&E you hate, or all of A&E, or what? You seem to pick on a couple of their shows that get little to no ratings to begin with. You’re leaving out Criminal Minds, the First 48, Storage Wars, and Beyond Scared Straight (which has a higher viewer rating than Duck Dynasty). So your entire judgement is that all of these shows are crap despite the thousands of people that are employed and involved with them. Let’s not forget, then initial pitch of the show was ‘what happens when a redneck family has money’. Their religious and personal beliefs weren’t part of that package. Their contract simply states that they will not ABANDON those beliefs for the show. It says nothing about being able to tie those beliefs TO the show or the network. When a thought is wrong, then perhaps the thought SHOULD be policed. Instead of hating A&E for doing what they felt best for their entire network (although Duck Dynasty is one of their best shows, it’s not the show that ‘made’ A&E, nor will not having it break them), you could instead read one of the family’s 4 best selling books to see what his beliefs are. In my opinion, you simply wanted to be angry about someone’s opinions that aren’t your own, and you’re using a similar situation as a soap box. If you want to preach then grow up and use your own initiative instead of relying on someone else’s.

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