I’m not the only one who has a right to my body

***This is a guest post written by my sister, Chrissie Dhanagom.***

I had a lot of plans for today. Sleeping, for instance. I had planned to sleep for at least eight of the past twenty-four hours. I had planned on a long shopping trip in the morning, followed by a quiet afternoon with a cup of tea and some reading and writing while the toddler and four month old napped. I have a cold that’s on its way out and I need some decent rest to completely kick it.

If you’re a parent, or have much experience with kids, you’re probably already laughing at me. I’m still a little new at this.

The baby needed to nurse frequently during the night. The toddler woke up two hours earlier than usual, and declined to take a nap in the afternoon. This, of course, meant that she was fussy, over-tired, needy and clingy all day.

I slept about six hours last night, made a frazzled dash through the store this morning, lay in the bedroom with both of them while singing a lullaby through my hoarse, cracked voice, gave up after forty-five minutes and drove around town in a last ditch attempt at naptime, sat in a parking lot nursing the baby while older sister slept in the car seat, and finally dragged myself into the kitchen at 4:30 to start dinner. My cold is back with a vengeance.

Ah, the best laid plans.

In my experience, one of the greatest challenges of parenting is letting go of the expectation that my time, my resources, and my body are mine to dispose of. It’s not an easy mental adjustment, particularly in the midst of a pervasive cultural mantra which says that I have a right to these things that no one may interfere with.

And as a woman, so I am told, I must above all, first and foremost, protect the sole and absolute claim I have on my body. There is no pledge I can make of my body that I should not be able to take back.
So say the legions of feminists who have protested, leafleted, marched, written and spoken on my behalf.

The problem is, my children seemed to have missed the cultural memo.

My two daughters’ need for my body did not stop when I gave birth to them. They need to be fed, clothed, cuddled, taught, and constantly supervised. This fulfillment involves, on my part, the giving of my body, and at times the denial of my bodily needs. And if anyone has a right to anything, children, I believe, have a right to the fulfillment of those needs.

My children have a claim on my body that is as real as my own. Parental love is utterly premised upon this.

Please note what I am not saying here. I am not saying “parents should run themselves to the ground, completely ignore their own needs, and wreak havoc on their physical well-being in order to attend to their children’s every demand.” We need to take care of ourselves as well, for many reasons, not least of which is that we can hardly take care of others if we don’t take care of ourselves.

Providentially, my need to take care of myself at the expense, sometimes, of distress on my children’s part actually coincides with their needs. I happen to think it’s good for children to experience some deprivation. The older they get, the more crucial this becomes to their character formation, and to their ability to make that all important distinction between “I want” and “I need.” They certainly will not be equipped to be good parents themselves, or virtuous adults in any capacity, if they do not learn this.

My hope, though, is to do everything in my power and at any personal cost to myself, in order to provide my children with everything they truly need. And by “need,” I mean those things that are indispensable to their happiness. I am a weak and selfish human being, and so I anticipate failing in this, perhaps often. But that is what I strive for. I think that is, in fact, what most parents strive for, which is one of many reasons why radical feminism was obsolete from the day it was born.

I can choose, of course, to deny my body to my children. I can abandon them. What I cannot do, however, is abandon my children and still be happy. That is a choice that is not open to me. I could no more do that than choose to fly.

I am a mother, and, like being married, being a mother means having my happiness wrapped up in the happiness of another person. Show me a person who has abandoned their children and I will show you an unhappy person. The giving of my body and, at times, the denial of my bodily needs is a prerequisite to my own happiness.

This is true, of course, not just for parents and spouses but for all of us. Meaningful relationships of any kind involve self-sacrifice. Because we are bodily persons, this will usually involve some form of physical self-denial. No one, I think, can truly be satisfied with a life that does not involve the giving of one’s body. And it would seem that human nature ultimately drives us to give it in the kind of irrevocable form that marriage and parenthood embody.

Maybe that’s why by far the majority of women today reject the label “feminist.” We kind of like being happy.

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You can contact Chrissie here: cmdhanagom@gmail.com

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176 Responses to I’m not the only one who has a right to my body

  1. Susan Malone says:

    I totally agree with Chrissie. Being a parent means loving and giving of yourself sacrificially–not a primary value in today’s self-absorbed culture. As a mom to two adult children who are raising their own young families now, I look back very happy and satisfied with the results. Jesus said that we are to invest in things that neither spoil, rust, nor fade. Our children are an investment with eternity in mind and a legacy unmatched in the business world.

  2. Jackalyn Halmayr says:

    I love this. I am the mother of 4 and you constantly have to deny your wants to take care of their needs. I was sick yesterday and wanted to spend the entire day in bed dying and while my lovely husband helped me do that for a part of the day I still had to feed the baby(who I breastfeed) and love on kiddos who weren’t feeling to well themselves. They don’t just go away when you need a break or time off.

  3. Ann says:

    This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

  4. Ann says:

    Parents, in a profound way, are imitating Christ: “This is My Body, which is given up for you.” Imitating Christ gives us a joy that can’t be overcome by the trials or sacrifices of parenthood. These little ones are our path to happiness in this life and the next.

  5. natasham says:

    Great post and I totally agree with Chrissie! My 20 month old ends up in my bed almost every night around 2am. Some think I should “train” him to sleep in his cot all night but I know he needs me. Not only does he want to be on the bed but he wants to be practically glued to me. He needs contact with his mama to sleep better, how could I ever say no? He’s happy, I’m happy 🙂

  6. natasham says:

    Reblogged this on Mummy Musings and commented:
    Great post below (so I had to share) and I totally agree with Chrissie! S ends up in my bed almost every night around 2am. Some think I should “train” him to sleep in his cot all night but I know he needs me. Not only does he want to be on the bed but he wants to be practically glued to me. He needs contact with his mama to sleep better, how could I ever say no? He’s happy, I’m happy 🙂

  7. Momtosix says:

    I am a Mom too, older and a little further down the parenting line. I lived through the days when help wanted ads were headed under “men” and “women”. This was not that long ago, 1970’s. Women didn’t have a lot of opportunities that they have today. We can thank those feminists for that. So if you have a daughter, be thankful that have choices and options.

    Options are really all the feminists called for. Just let a sister be a doctor, astronaut, mother or a whatever she wants to be. Would you have it any other way?

    That being said here is some older Mom to younger Mom wisdom for you. You are under the influence of hormones now. You’re a little nuts and a lot in love. That’s Gods design to allow us to care for babies which is so hard. But The road is long, and steep, don’t drive yourself into the ground during these early years. Don’t lose yourself, you’ll need to come back to yourself. Kids grow up quick. Nobody likes a martyr, even your kids. Ask your husband to do more. Much more. Don’t feel guilty. It’s good for him too. Happy wife happy life. Set a good example to your kids about men’s and women’s work in the home.

    • ehpeters says:

      Chrissie clearly stated that she is referring to “radical feminists”, hopefully not the women you consider heroes. She also clearly stated she did not mean that “parents should run themselves to the ground, completely ignore their own needs, and wreak havoc on their physical well-being in order to attend to their children’s every demand.” She is not trying to be martyr, just a good mother. That being said, here is some younger mom to older mom wisdom for you…sounds like you could have used Chrissie’s example back in your day. Take care.

      • KLMN says:

        You defended Chrissie well. Just wondering why you had to taint what you said with your parting words? You didn’t leave any wisdom with her. Why are you being so harsh, disrespectful, and “catty” with someone who obviously was trying to give some very well-meant advice? Older women are supposed to help teach the younger women. I would guess that Chrissie would even say that and receive a lot of her words as wisdom passed on to the younger generation as a reminder.

        I didn’t agree with “Momtosix’s” statement of what the feminists really wanted. I think they wanted a lot more that has defeated women in so many ways. But she is correct in saying that the parenting road IS LONG.

        You do need to pace yourself with God’s help or something will crack wide open in your life. It may be you, your husband, your kids, or something else. Learn from history’s examples. We do pour out our life as mothers, but if we’re all dried up, there’s nothing left to pour. It never hurts to respect your elders. It always makes YOU feel better when you respect others. Even online. May God Bless You!

      • Momtosix says:

        Wow that was nasty. I apologize for offering unsolicited advice. I can relate to Chrissie, I understand what it’s like because I lived through it. It’s a phase of life, then you go into the next phase and the next. Many women lose themselves early on in motherhood. It’s not a feminist issue, if a life balance issue. My heart goes out to all Moms of young kids, your hands and hearts are full.

    • Yvonne says:

      Most feminists do not want you to have a choice. They want us to be men. They mock and persecute women who choose to stay at home with their children. I am very grateful to live in a time when women have the freedom to choose what they want to do and be. I am grateful that I can vote, go to college and the many other choices that are open to me. But something important was also lost when we made these gains. Being a mom is the most important job that a woman will ever do. Yet, that job is now treated as though it is unimportant and women who choose motherhood as a career are looked down upon in many circles. There should be a middle ground. We should have all of these wonderful opportunities open to us, yet if we choose full time motherhood, it should be respected.

      • I suggest you’ve made an incredibly insightful comment or two. My compliments.

      • bethany says:

        Feminists fought FOR choice. It is patriarchy as a system that denies choice. They also do not want us to be men….they want us to be free to be who we want to be and not be stuck in restrictive gender roles. I know several feminist who chose to be at home with their children. I think you have a very skewed understanding of feminism.

      • Momtosix says:

        All you young women who can study whatever you please and choose any career including full time motherhood can thank those feminists back in the day. It was hard back then for women. Today’s young women take take much for granted.

        Now what women are up against are other women who criticize each other for being full time moms vs working moms and vice versa. This is not a feminism, this is female cattiness, insecurity, jealousy against each other.

        I would say to all moms….stop judging each other, stop comparing yourselves and your kids, give yourselves and other moms a break because you’re all under stress and hormones, everyone is doing the best they can. If a sister is a working mom she may be just trying to keep body and soul together. If a sister is a full time mom is facing the hardest gig of her life. So don’t judge each other, being a mom is tough enough.

      • Penina says:

        Momtosix, thank you! Being a mom is tough enough, without being constantly judged. It bothers me when women say that other moms are doing it wrong. If the kids’ physical needs are met (food, shelter, medicine), and they’re feeling loved by their parnets, then the moms – and dads – are doing it right. It’s the little things that cause so many fights, and it’s no one’s business but the parents. Whether to get an epidural at birth, use formula, what stroller to use, car seat, or day care to go to, how early to vaccinate, what foods to feed, etc., moms make tons of decisions all the time. Don’t judge others because they’re not like you. Try to udnerstand them, maybe they have a perspective you don’t. Leave out the guilt, moms have enough of that already. Thanks for a great post!

      • Leah says:

        Another voice to say that feminists fight for choice. You’re welcome to make the choices you want, and then know that you made that choice and that others are free to make their own choices. Nothing about being a SAHM is anti-feminist. The only things about being a SAHM that are anti-feminist are the following:
        1) doing it because you think it’s the only possible option or because your husband said you had to stay home
        2) chastising those women who chose not to stay home with their children

      • vanessa says:

        Holy lack of irony, batman!

        The only reason why you have choice is because feminists fought for you to have it. The only reason why you can vote is because feminists fought for your right to vote. The only reason why you can go to college is..you guessed it because of feminists. And yet rather than be grateful you accuse them of trying to be men? Someone needs to re-read her history books!

        And it’s interesting that you accuse feminists of trying to make you “men” when there are women who *still*, in almost 2014, get called “manly” by certain men because they have strong opinions, hold positions of power, wear pants, and *gasp* leave the house w/o makeup and offend the world with their bare face. There are men who legitimately think that all women should have their right to vote taken away from them. And yet you come after women? You sound like one of those women who “only has guy friends” and “I’m not one of *those* women, I’m a cool woman!”

      • lizzie526 says:

        I can’t reply directly, but I wanted to thank Momtosix for her insightful comments. Indeed, feminists fought for the right to have choice! My grandmother was forced by her job to quit when she got married. I am grateful for my sisters and mothers in history who have fought for equality, even though there is still so much to be done. I for one am glad things have changed!

    • Well said! And the good news is, when your children leave the nest…you’ll begin a new life that is all yours! So thanks the women who went ahead to clear the way for you. I know it becasue I was born in 1931. The courageous women who changed the perception of “a woman’s place” have my everlasting gratitude. I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for them! I am a writer and a publisher, with an extraordinary career still going forward. And all that after I had five children. It’s not over until you call it over!!!

    • Steven Hill says:

      I believe when Chrissie responds to feminists, she is referring to the phony women who claim to speak for feminists. These are those who claim anyone who doesn’t follow their brand of feminism is not a true feminist (and, they have gone so far as to claim they are not real women, whatever that means). The true feminist agrees with you – women should have options. We all should celebrate that women have choices they haven’t had in the past. And, should the elect to be a stay at home mother, taking care of the kids, or ultimately work her way to CEO, both should be celebrated.

  8. Cutzi says:

    Whew. Wasn’t this true? What struck me the most though, was this contrast between what our children need and what our culture preaches. They conflict with each other so much that both can hardly be accomplished. Either we pour ourselves out or we keep our right to ourselves. I heard a speaker once claim that feminists (he was speaking of abortion) have robbed women of the single greatest essence that makes them women: The gift of being mothers. The gift of the giving up of ourselves on another’s behalf, starting from the womb.

  9. Heather says:

    Love this! Well done, Chrissie!

  10. Clare says:

    Brains and common sense (not so common any more) evidently run in the Walsh family.

  11. Unsure "Adult" says:

    Reblogged this on Boo's & Ooo's and commented:
    Love this!!

  12. Christina says:

    Well said! I most definitely agree! 🙂

  13. beth says:

    Well said. “It is not about how much we give, but about how much love we put in the giving.” Mother Teresa.

  14. ehpeters says:

    I absolutely LOVE this post. Thank you, Matt, for sharing your sister’s wisdom with us. She sounds like a damned fine mother. We share the same morals, values, and priorities in parenting, and it sounds like we could be best of friends. My husband truly appreciates the way in which I love and care for our child. I am a mother of a 23 month old boy. It has been the hardest, most terrifying, most exhausting, MOST wonderful experience of my life. God has truly blessed our family, and He has truly blessed me by allowing me to be a mother. What these “radical feminists” don’t understand is that some women feel they were put on this earth to mother children. That is our soul purpose in life, and it is one that demands a deep respect. Bravo, Chrissie!

  15. ken says:

    Look forward to future Blogs. Nepotism, what jealous people call helping out your family.

  16. Sally says:

    Brava, Ma’m. When I was the young mother of two small children, stressed to the breaking point, feeling like a failure ready to give up on myself, I turned in desperation to an older wiser person who told me this: “think of yourself as having a Mom battery. When that battery is full, you can give and give and give to your children, but eventually the battery is drained and must be recharged. You are out of energy, you have nothing left to offer until you recharge that battery. This does not make you a bad Mom, this makes you a drained Mom. Put the kids in a safe place and recharge that battery. Then you can give and give and give again.”

    It was the best advice I’d every received as a young mother. When your Mom battery is dead, put the kids in a safe place and recharge it somehow. Then take up your work as Mom again. Best of luck–the grandkids are the big payoff for all the hard work, I promise.

  17. Phenomenal. I’m not a mother yet, but I see my own mother and my mother-in-law living this daily. It is, as others have commented, an imitation of Christ, who gave up his entire life for us. Of course that should make a person happy!

    Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us.

  18. Paul says:

    Wow…anybody who thinks Millennials don’t expect to be congratulated for breathing needs to read this.
    Parents have been sacrificing for their children (and I stayed home during the day and worked nights) since our ancestors were in caves. But, of course, it became “real” the moment it was about YOU.

    • Sylvia says:

      I don’t get what you’re trying to say here. If you think Chrissie is asking for congratulations on doing the normal things mothers do to raise their children, you’re probably missing the point. She’s pointing out that in our cultural framework these “normal sacrifices” could be considered hugely inconvenient to the self-direction women are supposed to have in order to be good feminists (i.e., you’re not supposed to HAVE to sacrifice, you’re supposed to be able to choose), yet paradoxically, these very sacrifices and instances of self-denial are the key to happiness.

    • Suzanne says:

      Psst, Paul…(sotto voce): You missed the point of the post. Entirely.

    • Sheila says:

      And you’re obviously so bitter about the sacrifices you’ve made for your kids as to miss the entire point of the article.

      • Paul says:

        I’m not the LEAST bit bitter. I DO believe that the greatest adversary facing the modern middle-class (what’s left of it) isn’t “moral,” but “economic”…the fact that wages have remained largely stagnant since the 1970s, but the cost of living has gone through the roof. Bring back the single-income family (via a TRUE living wage and nationalized healthcare), and a lot of the ills I see people lament (divorce, abortion, etc) will be greatly reduced, if not eliminated. I believe (and most of you, to your chagrin, probably agree with me) that most working mothers would RATHER be at home, but are forced to work out of financial necessity. You think more women should be at home with their kids? Then support and champion a TRUE living wage and social safety nets which would ALLOW women to be home with their kids.

        But, it’s much easier (and a convenient smokescreen for the corporations who’ve robbed us blind over the years) to make this about ‘feminism’…

      • Momtosix says:

        I think most working mothers are working out of economic necessity, one paycheck is very difficult to raise a family on. When Chrissie wrote words like ‘abandoning my children’ it’s a stab at working moms. Supporting your kids financially is far from abandoning.

        Stop judging these women whose situations are different. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. You are doing the same thing to other moms you are complaining about.

  19. Kathryn says:

    And this is why I am looking at FB on my phone while I nurse my baby…it distracts me from thinking about how much I suddenly have to pee. Hahaha 😛

  20. Jim says:

    God loves you for this attitude Chrissie ! So does your husband, and the kids. The kids may not know it yet, but they will get the drift someday. What a refreshing post, …kudos to Matt for sharing his site, and his sis !

  21. Bill says:

    I am a dude, so maybe I don’t fully understand feminism, but I don’t see how being a selfless mom is anti-feminism, which is basically what this blogger is saying. Kudos for being a good mom, but the underlying premise seems pretty flawed. Just because they have a claim on their body doesn’t preclude them from choosing to give it to their children.

    • Steve-O says:

      Feminism (as opposed to women’s rights–avoid all “isms” except for prisms!) these days is generally rooted in rebellion. Motherhood is all about service. So feminism and motherhood don’t line up together very well.

  22. KLMN says:

    Loved this post, Chrissie! Thank you for writing it. I identify with and agree with your passion of pouring yourself out as a mother. I did that and now I’m the proud mother of 3 wonderful adults. I’m so thankful I got to be their mother. I wouldn’t take a million dollars for the years I spent at home raising my children!!! And now I’m enjoying being a grandmother to my precious little ones.

    Just a friendly reminder though. It’s meant well –from an older mom to a younger mom. Please remember that you do have to take care of yourself or you won’t be able to take care of your children. Spiritually, Physically, Mentally, Emotionally. When your battery is dead, you don’t connect with them in a healthy way. Or think of it this way. Pouring yourself into your children is all good, unless you become dried out in some way and there isn’t anything left from that area of you to pour! Don’t be hesitant to ask for help when you need some. Take Care and Enjoy Motherhood! May God Continue to Lead and Bless You!!

  23. Great post. This is exactly the kind of thinking that this country needs right now. We need to understand that not everything is about us. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice because it is the right thing to do.

  24. The Radical One says:

    I reject the label “feminist” because they have robbed women of the legal and cultural sanctions that used to protect us. I stand for traditional women’s rights and speak all about the many harms of feminism from a non-religious perspective. Women deserve the right to be home with their children and the right to expect financial support through marriage as a prerequisite for paternal rights.

  25. Stephanie says:

    Wonderfully said! I am so SO much more happy today as a mother of two than I was when I was single with so much time on my hands. Now each day has a purpose and I am investing love and kindness into my husband and children. I absolutely love being a Mom and I know how truly priceless these years really are–to myself and my incredible family. True happiness is putting God first and then my family.

  26. Spencer says:

    I love this, so well written. Great job and thank you for sharing.

  27. Joan says:

    So true. I am the mother of six.

  28. Kathy Walker says:

    GREAT take on motherhood…something no one can TELL you about beforehand…this is a LEARNED lesson!

  29. Eviva says:

    MAN I love this blog. Keep up the great work – all a yez!! and God bless you

  30. Jesslyn says:

    Great Post! I completely agree. I rejected the modern label of feminist long ago and am blissfully happy. If this is a sample of her brilliant writing, please feature your sister frequently.

  31. Colleen says:

    Very good points. Even when your kids are in your teens or 20’s it can still require sacrifice of your body. You stay up waiting up for them or to go pick them up from a late event, you lose sleep praying and worrying over choices they are making, etc

  32. Sid Avery says:

    Here is a good recent article which exposes the euphemisms of abortion. 

    http://www.billmuehlenberg.com/2013/11/17/sugar-coated-killing/

  33. Sarah Hogoboom says:

    It never changes. I am 86 and I still watch over my five children and their families. Well, actually it does change a little. Now they watch over me too.

  34. Penina says:

    I love this! I want my husband to read it too! Sometimes he can’t understand why I’m always running for the bathroom the second he comes home. Because I’m busy with the kids all day and I just don’t have time! Thank you!

  35. Denise says:

    I would like to meet your parents someday… seriously, they (I assume it was them…) did a great job raising you to have a mind of your own, to be bold enough to speak your mind even when it is counter-culture. But more than that, I can see God’s heart bursting with pride and love at the respect you show to Him by speaking your hearts here. Keep up the good work.

  36. Heather says:

    Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your experiences! This truly puts things into perspective in a way I’ve never thought about mothering., or parenting in general. It sure makes me feel better about my son, who’s almost two and a half years, sleeping with us for most of each night. This I know is not ideal for quality sleep, but seems to be how we are functioning, and surviving now. Parenting is certainly a selfless calling. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thanks again.

  37. Momtosix says:

    I looked up the word “feminism” in the Merriam Webster dictionary and it said “A belief that women and men should have equal rights and opportunities.” You probably support that belief for your girls and yourself.

    I think the label of feminist is misused in this article. Feminists don’t suppress women’s choices even the choice to be a full time mom. It kind of bothers me that some women don’t get that. You wouldn’t want to be living in the pre feminist era when your only option for your WHOLE life was wife and mother or something else much harder.

    We need another word for the moms that are hating on each other for their lifestyle choices – maybe “non-feminists” or “jellys”.

    • Kelsey says:

      The label of feminist is misused in society. MANY people who call themselves “feminist” have no interest in feminism as you’ve described it here in these comments. They are not interested in equality but superiority–that, or they define “equality” as essentially being the same as men. I reject the label “feminist” because it has so many different meanings today that it really has no meaning left at all. I go with “egalitarian” instead. 🙂

  38. Ed Hill says:

    Matt, you have one smart sister! May her happiness grow!

  39. Katie says:

    Some women are called to do and be things in addition to being mothers. They are blessed with mental, spiritual, and physical fortitude to spare after their children receive all they could ever need or want of them. Their children are in no way “abandoned”.

  40. lisawoody says:

    The problem with the notion that feminism is just about personal freedom is that it doesn’t recognize the unintended consequences that so often mar the best intentions of liberal ideas. Yes, it’s good to have equal pay and opportunity. But in telling women to want more opportunity, feminism has convinced them NOT to want the opportunities we already have. The overt (and covert) message I received all my life is that if I am educated, enlightened, and reasoned — in other words, if I’m intelligent — then I will naturally want something other than motherhood.

    So I bought into it, and reached a high level in two different careers (sacrificing my first marriage along the way), until I was no longer able to have children. I can’t tell you how many women I have met who have experienced the same thing. We’re so focused on our rights that we forget all about our responsibilities, and our real desires. We’re so obsessed with self actualization (read “self”) that we forget all about others. Family members and co-workers annoy us, we don’t love anyone in a sacrificial way, we’re voracious about our own hobbies, favorite foods, material possessions and career status, but we think we’re good people because we recycle, watch independent films, celebrate homosexuality, and adopt our pets.

    There’s nothing like motherhood to teach you to put others first. By the grace of God, my husband and I adopted three children in our late 40s. It makes me sad that I will not live long enough to enjoy our grandchildren for very long. But that’s the consequence of my choices.

    We all make sacrifices to that which we worship. We all worship something. The things that make us angry tell us a lot about what we really value. Feminism worships and values the self. The great thing is that in the end, you have a long time to enjoy your own stuff and memories and accomplishments … all by yourself.

    • Mabel3 says:

      Wow, very well said. I am dealing with my own painful regrets of delaying a family, and watching many of my friends go through the same. All for the reasons you just listed. Thank you for putting it in perspective.

  41. esther2911 says:

    Thank you. What a wonderful blog!

  42. christy says:

    Totally agree! Beautifully written.

  43. Andrew P says:

    This entry is beautiful. Thank you.

  44. Sarah says:

    I love this post 🙂 I just started following the Matt Walsh Blog and reading this really got me excited for more from you in particular 🙂 I look forward to your next post 😀

  45. J. Morris says:

    I know that you probably didn’t have the time or the space to develop this aspect of the whole your-body-isn’t-completely-your-own idea, but I think an important part to consider is that, if you have children, being married is an essential to making parenthood work. As a homeschooling mom, there are days when I am at the end of my rope when my husband comes home. I look at him and wearily say, “Your turn,” as I head for an hour’s soak in the tub.

    There are also days when he needs me, so I carry a little heavier load to give him some peace or to clear a few parenting hours from his schedule so he can do something for work or for a friend. IMO, marriage is vital to a parent’s peace of mind. I know that single moms and dads can make it work if they need to. I just think that carrying the workload of parenthood by yourself is so much more difficult than having a spouse.

  46. Kirsten says:

    I love your blog, and now I love your sister as well. I would love to be part of a holiday dinner conversation at your house…sarcasm, wit, intelligence, self-deprecating comments…love it!
    I am a mom of 7 (ages 20 down to 4) and every fiber of my body that I have sacrificed for my children has come back to me in the form of an abundance of blessings!
    P.S. My easiest children? #2 & #3… Twin girls!

  47. Good day Chrissie,

    Your blog post is a breath of fresh air! What a blessing it is to know that there are young people like you and Matt who have surrendered your allegiance to the King of kings and Lord of lords! Those like you who are canon-minded as you live out the Gospel of the Good News, in obedience to Jesus’ Father! Consider how Jesus had to become flesh in a human body so we could relate to Him. Jesus had to become flesh like us so He could sacrifice His body for us all! And as the Body of Christ, we are all called to live sacrificially for each other. After all, we are called to lay down our lives for our friends!

    By the way, I am Hannah Rose Allen’s (pro-life missionary, whom you interviewed for LifeSiteNews) mother, and neither of us knew you and Matt were siblings until your post on his page! When she recently journeyed to speak at a pregnancy resource center banquet in Kentucky, I had hoped she could visit him on his radio program.

    Thank you, Chrissie, for all your pro-life, pro-family, pro-Jesus, pro-Biblical worldview work you are engaged in for our precious Lord! 🙂 Keep spreading the Truth which is Jesus!

    In Christ,

    Ginny Bain Allen

  48. Amy says:

    Just wanted to tell you I used this post in my lesson yesterday at Church. I’m quite positive there is sum very important truth here. Thanks for sharing it!

  49. Holley says:

    I might add that, in addition to giving our bodies to our children, a large part of the marital covenant is that we give our bodies to our husbands. We do NOT withhold from them the sacramental giving of our bodies in sexual union, because we want to punish them, or we don’t need sex that much, or for whatever reason. Nor do our husbands withhold their bodies from us–for whatever our need for touch is. When we covenant with God, and include other(s) in that covenant, we include our physical bodies on that alter, not just our spiritual selves.

  50. Annie says:

    I’m a feminist. I have many friends of varying gender who are also feminists. I’m thrilled you are happy with your choice to have children and love them so fully.

    That was your choice. It is beautiful. It also doesn’t mean that it’s the right choice for everyone with a vagina.

    Yes, I want children too. When the time is right for me to do so, when I have a co-parenting partner of my dreams, I will also lovingly make a sacrifice of my body and energy for their well-being. That is my choice. It’s not a choice I make for other people. I can’t make any choice for other people. To me, this is why feminism is still relevant:
    http://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vov8j

    I’m happy for you that you found your happy.

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