“I’m not sure why the other kids don’t like me. Maybe there is something wrong with me.”

I get a high volume of email on a daily basis. Generally I’ll only post the negative ones on this blog. There’s two reasons for that: 1) They’re usually much more entertaining. 2) What kind of a pretentious loser would I be if I published my own fan mail? This particular email breaks the mold a little bit. I received it a couple of days ago and responded. I’m now (with the permission of the kid who sent it) posting the email and my response, because I think a lot of people might be able to relate to the subject matter. Bullying has been in the news quite a bit recently, and my response to “Alex” could just as well apply to most kids who have experienced similar abuse.

I changed his name and took out a phrase or two in order to protect his anonymity:

Dear Mr. Walsh,

I listen to your show whenever I can and I read your blog daily. Many of the things you write are really meaningful to me. I know you’re probably very busy but I wanted to write to ask you for advice. If you don’t respond to this I will understand. But if you have time I’m hoping you can help me. You seem to have a lot of wisdom and expertise in a lot of areas. A few days ago I heard you talking about the bullying problem in schools, and that’s what this is about.

I’m a sophomore at [High School]. I’ve never been popular or had a lot of friends. It’s not that I don’t want friends. I just don’t like doing what a lot of kids my age like to do. I usually spend my weekends reading and practicing my instruments. My parents worry that I’m a loner and I might end up like some kind of hermit. They’ve been talking to my doctors about maybe putting me on medication. I’m a pretty quiet person. I thought I’d come out of my shell in high school but that hasn’t happened. Now recently things have gotten even worse. I don’t get beat up at school or anything but the other kids like to taunt me and make fun of me a lot… Especially at lunch and gym. I don’t like to complain about being bullied but I get sick of it after a while. I’ve always gotten good grades so I used to like school but now I dread it. I’m not sure why the other kids don’t like me. Maybe there is something wrong with me. You talk about the bullying problem a lot so I thought maybe you could tell me what I should do. Thank you for reading this.

Sincerely,

Alex

Dear Alex,

Three things right off the bat: 1) Call me Matt. 2) I’m not an expert in anything. 3) There is nothing wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Just to reiterate: There is nothing wrong with you.

Quite the contrary, Alex. You’re articulate, you write very well, you’re intellectually curious (which is why you enjoy reading), you have artistic talent, and you’re a successful student. Something wrong with you? WRONG? Why? Because a bunch of feebleminded clowns don’t like you? Dude, if those morons get to decide what and who is “wrong” in this world, then you might as well drop out of school and move into a bomb shelter; it’s the end of human civilization.

There’s nothing wrong with you, Alex. And I’m not one to blow smoke up anyone’s rear, so if I thought you were a royal screw up, I’d let you know. I can only go on what you’ve told me about yourself. If you left out the part where you tried to microwave the family cat or something, then that might change the complexion of this situation slightly. But if you summarized it accurately, in my unprofessional opinion, you don’t need any freaking medication. Medicine is supposed to treat illness. What’s your illness, exactly? You’re smart, you like to read, you don’t run your mouth constantly, and you don’t get along with the juvenile jackasses at your school. Dude, if that’s a disease I hope it’s contagious. Please go out in public and cough in as many faces as you possibly can. The world needs more people with your “sickness.”

Do you know why so many kids at your school don’t like you? Because you make them uncomfortable. You aren’t going with the program. You aren’t behaving like they think you should. You aren’t the sort of person they think you should be. You have passions, you are intelligent, you think more than you speak, you are thoughtful. Those traits will serve you well in the real world, but in the claustrophobic confines of public school — where mindless collectivism and groupthink reign supreme — they’ll cause you trouble. The only way you can really get the herd to “accept you” is to fall in line and join their stampede. I hope you don’t do that, Alex. You sound like a fascinating and awesome person, I’d hate to see you compromise even one ounce of your individuality for the sake of a bunch of insecure cows.

There aren’t any more bullies in school nowadays than there were 50 years ago. The bullies are simply more effective now because most kids are desperate for acceptance from their peers — in a way, and to a degree, that borders on psychosis. But not you. You don’t need your existence to be validated by a bunch of confused adolescents. It just sounds like the constant and unrelenting negativity from these jerks has started to wear on you. That’s understandable, man.

But know this: They have no power over you. They’ve got numbers, that’s all. And in a few years you’ll graduate and leave that building forever. You’ll go off and eventually start a career, and get married, and do important things; you’ll make a mark in this world, I guarantee it. Meanwhile, sadly, pitiably, many of the shallow, dull bullies that tormented you will shrink, and fade, and fail, when the lights come on and the real world appears, and they’re expected to actually function in it. You won’t wish that on them because you’ll be too busy, living and succeeding, to give a crap about what those nobodies you went to school with are doing. Still, the harsh reality of the adult world will seriously kick their asses. Some of them will recover. Some won’t. Such is life.

Until then, sure, try to make a few friends if you can find some kids who share your priorities and passions. Don’t worry too much about that. We put a ridiculous premium on “friends” in our society, as if we can measure a man by the number of acquaintances he has accumulated. What you’ll realize when you’re an aging, grizzled, world weary 27 year old like me, is that family is far more important than friends. We are only capable of having a limited number of close, meaningful, intimate human relationships. People who waste their quota on their peers at the expense of their family will regret it one day.

Finally, I know the administrators at your school would probably say that you should report this bullying to the proper authorities. Certainly, if you feel physically threatened then you should. You should also keep talking to your parents about all of this. I hope they don’t search for answers in a pill bottle — but they’re your parents and you need to be open with them. Yet I realize that most of the bullying is probably subversive and maybe even unspoken. Much of it isn’t outwardly aggressive or even against the rules. You can’t make it stop by reporting it. So what can you do? Well, exactly what you’ve been doing. Be you in all your glory, my friend. You can’t control how other people react to you, but you can control how much real estate you allow them to occupy in your psyche. They are nothing and their opinions are meaningless. Trust me, nobody out here in Realville cares what they think.

You’re a badass as far as I’m concerned. I’m not sure how much that really means to you — considering I’m a book readin’ nerd myself — so take this all with a grain of salt.

Thanks for reaching out,

Matt

***Originally posted August 25, 2013

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204 Responses to “I’m not sure why the other kids don’t like me. Maybe there is something wrong with me.”

  1. mkeep74 says:

    Matt, I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful this response was. My daughter has dealt with bullies in the past and even recently and I have often said some of the same things to her. Sometimes she hears me and sometimes she doesn’t. I would hope that someone would say those things to her if she chose to reach out. This boy obviously admires you and I can see why. Your words have meaning and that is why I started following your blog. I hope this young man took to heart what you said as I think you are right and he has a bright future ahead. Mostly I am so glad you responded to him. Not too long ago a boy in my community killed himself. He was in 9th grade and a sweet boy with the most contagious smile. It breaks my heart to think about what could have been done to save him. I don’t have the answer to that but just maybe someone telling him he was a “badass” would have been enough to get him through to a better day. In a perfect world everyone would treat each other with at the very least common courtesy. Sadly that is not the case. Again, I don’t have the answers as to how to stop our kids from being hurt, but I have to say that in this case, for this boy, you had the right answer and stated it perfectly. I hope he takes your words and holds them in his head and heart as he moves forward with his beautiful soul.

  2. Gloria says:

    Oh Matt! your response was superbly written!
    Thank you!

  3. Cheryl says:

    I want to know if this boy “Alex” responds and how. He will find someone who shares the same likes, dislikes, thoughts and actions that he does but it may not be at high school. I have two such people in my life My husband who I met by chance at 23 and a very good friend that I also met by chance at 42. I don’t have a lot of friends. I do have a lot of people now that I get on with but only two people outside of my family know the real me. Don’t waste your life trying to be someone you are not to fit in with others. It takes you many years to regain that real you if you do try to conform and gain friends.
    Alex you have been brave (Are brave) to continue being truly you throughout your schooling. We don’t need more mindless sheep. Society needs people who are true to themselves and I believe you are that person and there are many more people with your personality type than you think. they are just not at your school. I hope your parents don’t worry too much about your friends or lack of, but do talk to them and tell them what is happening. Do tell them what it is you like to do and do show them Matt’s response. You are a mature, creative who is articulate and thoughtful.
    Be badass and continue the way you are going. I admire the way you have chosen someone you admire to open up to. Heed his advice at 27 he sounds pretty awesome.

  4. Iankeith1976 says:

    Spot on, Matt!

  5. shecando says:

    Reblogged this on shecando and commented:
    I don’t always share the same opinions as this blogger. He can sometimes be a little too extreme for my tastes. That being said, I couldn’t help but share this. Speaking as someone who experienced this myself during highschool and as someone who now faces the rather dubious task of reassuring two very quiet 11 year old twins that they need not worry about these concerns themselves, I found this post on The Matt Walsh Blog rather appropriate.

  6. JP says:

    Matt-

    I am a very large man. I’m 6’3″, with the bone structure of a grizzly bear, and for most of my life I’ve been overweight enough that my muscles overdeveloped to compensate (I’ve always been something of a glutton, but never a proper couch potato).
    I’ve been this size since I was 19, but I only grew about 3 inches from the age of 13. As you can imagine, I was by far the biggest guy in school. And I was basically the same as this kid. I had friends, of course (I wasn’t quite enough of a geek, but I hung with the geeks and they liked me).
    And I was relentlessly bullied from pretty much the moment I stepped into 6th grade on.
    There were only a few bullies, of course, and I certainly wasn’t afraid of them; I had 60lbs on the biggest one and I’ve always been strong. The problem was that I couldn’t fight back. AT ALL.

    My school had the kind of zero tolerance policy that people like you occasionally write about, and most of the admins were spineless. To give an example, I was once facing suspension FOR THE “OFFENSE” OF BEING PUNCHED IN THE HEAD. I didn’t hit the guy. I didn’t speak to him or interact with him in any way. I had my nose stuck in a book as I was walking, ignoring everyone around me as I made my way to lunch (by then I was fully capable of doing this without bumping into any one/thing). He hit me in the temple for no obvious reason, and then went on his way. I was later hauled into the office, and if a teacher hadn’t been passing by at the time and witnessed the fact that I had literally not done anything, much less pick a fight or throw a punch, I would have been suspended. Granted they were suspending him too, but it hardly mattered; I hadn’t done anything except be punched.

    If I had every fought back against the bullies in any way, I would probably have been expelled. My parents knew this, of course. They went to the administration many times to see if something can be done, but when it came to me, all they could do was apologize. And frankly, they were right. There was nothing I could do but take it. It’s given me some pretty thick skin, I can tell you. Not long ago, my father admitted to me that he had been about ready to tell me to do whatever I had to do just before the bully was transferred. He also said that the reason he waited so long was because he was worried about me accidentally killing somebody if I did fight back (I was never an act-out rebellious child, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I was strong compared to the other guys in school).

    It became my hobby to find and befriend damaged outcasts like me. Usually these friendships would last long enough for me to fix as many of their problems as could be fixed; and then it would fade away. Most of the girls I’ve dated have fallen into that category. I like to think I did a lot of good; one of my proudest moments was when a mother of a friend (a friend who’d had drug problems in the past) told me that she never worried about her son when he was out with me (he and I were friends for many years).

    The advice I would give this kid is this: you are going to have to pick between your integrity and your desire for companionship, at least some of the time, while you are still in school. If you hate loneliness that much, you can of course lower your standards and attract a lower class of companions. But understand that this will not help you. The sort of people who will associate with you when you lower your standards are the sort of people who will make you feel alone in a crowd.

    When a quality person offers you friendship, he’s offering you a deal: he’ll be a good person to invest your time in, so long as you’ll do the same for him. But these people who will come for you, sensing your loneliness as the trigger, will abuse this deal. They are con artists. They offer you nothing, and seek to take everything of value that you are willing to offer them (and if you pick companionship over integrity, you will eventually offer them everything you have in the hopes that they will give something back. They won’t).

    Your generation has it easier: the Internet is your #1 resource for finding friends outside the limited pool of the school setting. The Net was still coming online when I was in school (my first POTUS election was Obastard’s first, for example), so I was lucky that my school had a few outcasts besides me.

    Your road will be harder, but there is nothing of value to gain by leaving it. Try, and you will find that whatever benefits you accrue bring you no pleasure, no joy, no pride. The only way you will find those things by leaving your road is if you sink to their level and become one of them. And if you’re anything like you describe, if you’re anything like ME, it’s hard to picture a darker Hell than that.

  7. Meghan says:

    What an amzing response to a young person in need of reassurance. They should blast this in every media outlet. I certainly am. 🙂

  8. ABP says:

    Well said, Matt.

    A word of encouragement for “Alex.”
    I moved to a different state between 5th and 6th grade. In my old town, I was known as a nerd, but I still had my close friends and I didn’t let the “popular” kids bother me too much. When I moved, I had hopes of starting a new life and fitting in, but my first week at school proved that wasn’t going to happen. They had new faces, but it was still the same exact popular kids.
    Some of my bullies were verbal, some were psychological, some were physical. I stopped caring about school and my grades suffered. As much as I didn’t like the idea while I was going through it, I wish my parents had pulled me out and homeschooled me. In fact, by the time I was a Sr., I had vowed that my kids would never have to go through the hell of public school.

    But like Matt said, there’s life out here in “reality land” and you will do well in it. I skipped my 10 year reunion last year, and I couldn’t be happier with the decision. I looked through some of the pictures and comments on Facebook afterwards and realized that while I’ve gone on to get married, find a career, change careers, start a business and have a kid, those same kids who shoved me around and made fun of me are still stuck living shallow and pointless lives. Seriously, there are a bunch of pathetic 30+ year olds out there who still think that getting drunk every weekend and celebrating 4/20 are the highlights of life. You know better. I know better. Anyone who has pondered the richness of life knows better.

    I wish I could offer you more immediate help than just hang in there, but that really is the key. Keep doing what you want to do. Develop your skills and interests, because someone who is capable and creative doesn’t have to find a job. They can create the kick-ass job of their dreams. I created a company completely based on playing with lasers, because LASERS. I mean really, I get to use lasers to create stuff. There are like, 2 other jobs on the planet cooler than mine. Matt blogs and has a show, because you know, he enjoys using his brain. Adam Savage builds crazy contraptions and blows stuff up on national TV, because instead of worry about what some idjit thought of his hobbies, he just went all out doing the most fun thing he could imagine.

  9. I absolutely applaud your response to this young man. I myself went through being bullied and in turn absolutely hated school. I was quiet, shy and got picked on for just that reason, and did not have a ton of friends. I was always the loser who blended into the wall and was overlooked, unless I was being laughed at. I have at least one child who went through this in PS as well, and am so glad to say she is being homeschooled now with the rest of our children, minus one who is like the bullies you spoke about in this response. I recently sent him back to PS because he left me no choice. In PS, and at home, for years and years he has refused to do his schoolwork, put forth ANY effort in anything unless its a video game, or chosen to do his best. He is totally a picture of someone trying to conform to the world and I tried for years to help to no avail, so it is out of my hands now and in God’s (and the child’s decisions).

  10. lbam723 says:

    Matt, your comments were perfect. I have always told students (and my own child) the same thing. Fitting into boxes makes everyone else comfortable, but this young man and millions of others owe it to themselves to be THEMSELVES.

  11. To Alex- I don’t know where you live Alex, but if you are anywhere near Nashua, NH,, Please come enroll in our school- the Academy for Science and Design. We call it our school of geeks and nerds- kids who accept each other for who they are and teachers who help them celebrate it while we focus on teaching and learning Math, Science, and Design. We don’t have much money (NEA doesn’t like charter schools and fights legislation that would help us) but we have incredible students and some pretty amazing teachers too. If you aren’t near us, look to see if there is an approriate charter school near you, or see about connecting with other groups outside school, like music groups, International ToastMasters, or hobbyist clubs. These are places that you may find intelligent, civil conversation and the best of human connections, if you would like more human connections. Good groups can help increase your understanding of others and of social dynamics. Then you will have the evidence to see why Matt says what he says. You are exceptional and a gift to human society. Try not to be angry or bitter at those who simply can’t see the difference. It most cases, it’s not their fault that they are limited.

  12. Kevin Shanley says:

    Matt,
    Writing this with tears in my eyes. What a great response to Alex, who seems to be a very courageous young man.
    I remember those trying times in my youth, and the same doubts and needs and only wish that I would have had this sage advice (and hopefully would have heeded it), there is nothing good or even remotely meaningful that comes out of bending to the expectations of others in hopes of validating your own existance.
    I’ve now got a son of my own in middle school and as I try and help him with the pains of growing up in today’s world and attempt to keep him focused on what truly matters I will be using your advice to help guide him.
    Thanks to both you and Alex for opening up and sharing, you are doing good.

  13. Jay says:

    Unfortunately, the schools don’t help b/c they’re still in the dark ages as to monitoring the kids they’re supposed to be in charge of for a greater part of the day and sometimes, our parents don’t have the right advice either. However, ideally, this is the role of the parent to play. I really believe the right communication and relationship needs to already be established with your children at home way before these things happen – and they’re going to happen eventually. When it does, your kid should be coming to you as a parent and having the confidence to tell you he or she is having issues @ school. We can’t leave it to some school administration to handle although hopefully ONE DAY they’ll get it right. But I find that today, kids keep these issues to themselves b/c they’ve been fostered at home to have their own “individuality”, and so they keep things to themselves and think they shouldn’t involve their parents. Not only should they have the confidence to inform their parents but when appropriate, they should also know (what worked for me as a kid) how to “hit hard and run fast”. Also, teach your kids not to have such thin skin, and let things roll because this “bullying” thing has warped into something weird ever since social media has taken over the world. Sheeesh! Notice how every time there’s an incident like this VERY LITTLE coverage will be done on the relationship and family dynamics at home. That’s where the problems start. It also helps to have a lot of brothers.

  14. Alex —ALEX! Listen to me! I was you, and you must listen to me. Matt is right! I struggled for so many years after high school, wondering what was wrong with me that I should have incurred the wrath of so many people– people I just wanted to fit in with. I was never unkind to a soul, yet they took a perverse glee in being hateful to me. They were hateful because they were scared. They didn’t know what to do with someone who didn’t swallow the socialist agenda, so they lashed out like so many caged and sick animals. Fast forward 30 years: I got thin, and they got fat. I’m happily married to a wonderful man and have 6 great kids. They are mostly divorced, dead, on drugs, or otherwise miserable. I have true friends, and they have … “friends”. Life has a way of workin’ stuff out, and you are going to be fine. (I’m not happy about their demise. My point is they are setting up their life, and you are setting up yours. Your path is the better path.) Their bullying isn’t about you; it’s about THEM! It’s about who they are. Shake the dirt off your shoes. You’ll never miss them. Be strong and endure. You’re going to turn out great!

    • Dawn Korade says:

      Happy Cottage Momma–At first reading, I thought it was your kids who were divorced, etc… Yes, our lives are often what we build them to be, and certainly only rarely better then we build. My Mom always said Never aspire to be like the people around you, you only lessen yourself that way. ALEX — I am 54 and can tell you that life only got better after high school. Keep your head up and look for upstanding and real people, people of compassion and sincerity.

  15. Alex,
    As a 35 yr. old women who went through much of the same torment as you have I can look back and say “hold on son!” Matt is totally spot on in what he is telling you- unless you left out a major part of the story, there is NOTHING wrong with you. In fact, when I went to my reunion, many of my former tormentors apologized to me for their former behavior. You can do this. Stay strong. Praying for you!

  16. Erin says:

    I love this post and, I absolutely love your response to this young man. I wish somebody would have told me ALL of this back when I was in high school. I was made fun of all throughout school because I was overweight. I dreaded the thought of going to school because I knew the laughing, taunting and downright cruel comments would be there waiting for me. I, eventually, ended up switching schools because I just couldn’t take it anymore. It effected me so terribly that I resorted to cutting myself because I allowed these kids to break me and, actually believed the things they were saying to be true. I allowed them to make me miserable and eventually, to hate myself. It took me a long time to realize that I didn’t need to put any worth or value into their opinions. What they thought of me didn’t truly matter or define me as a person. What mattered was what I thought of myself-not anyone else. Kids (adults as well) can be so cruel. If you’re following your own path, don’t look like “everyone else” or aren’t “normal,” (which means nothing because what the hell is that anyway?), you’re made to feel like something is wrong with you. This is not the case. I’d rather be my own person and, be and do what makes me happy. We shouldn’t let anyone’s opinion define who we are. We, as people, are all different in every possible way. These things make us unique! It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
    Thank you for your blog. I always enjoy what you have to day.

  17. “My parents worry that I’m a loner and I might end up like some kind of hermit. They’ve been talking to my doctors about maybe putting me on medication.”

    Now this really, really makes me upset. Just because a kid is quiet and prefers to be by himself (and honestly prefers to) doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with him. Society tends to prefer extroverts, but there’s nothing wrong with this boy being an introvert. Just… arrrgh. Introversion doesn’t requite medicine!

    That said, Matt gave that boy an awesome response. Kudos to you, Matt! 🙂

  18. LS says:

    I think life is much, much easier after high school. Sure, there are work-place bullies, but overall it’s much easier. Keep your head high; it will be over before you know it!

  19. AAC says:

    We need more people like “Alex”. There are far too many judge mental morons out there breaking down the good people like him. I would prefer a guy like him to the “popular” guys. Any girl would be lucky to be with a smart guy like him. He needs to forget those losers and just keep pushing forward. Amazing things are coming.

    I just started reading your blogs and you have some amazing advice. I love how you don’t sugar coat things and you talk about a range of topics.

  20. Sarah says:

    Matt, thanks for publishing this! I have to say, even though it was only a few short years ago (I’m almost 22), I was in a similar situation as Alex in high school during my first two years. No friends, was bullied or ignored (which can be a form of bullying as well), and I hid every day in the library just to avoid seeing people, or worse, being seen alone. My first two years of high school were the worst years of my life.
    And I thank God every day for them.
    I wouldn’t change those two years even if I could. Since then, I’ve made friends, am going to college on nearly a full ride scholarship, am currently living in Europe, and next year will graduate with 2 degrees. I will likely never have trouble finding a job (I may not get the one I want, but I have at least the basic skills to get at least a good enough job, or two or three if necessary, to never have to rely on the government to take care of me). If I ever get married, I won’t have to tell my future husband that I lost my virginity to some random kid when I was 15, but instead I can tell him I saved it for him. I have a strong Catholic faith and conservative values. I get what I work for. And I owe a lot of this to the bullies from my high school. There is truth to “what doesn’t kill you makes your stronger.”
    Because of the bullies, I realized that I didn’t want to be the kind of person that they were. Since I felt ignored and alone at school, I now always make an effort to include others who may feel the same way. They also toughened my skin a bit, and made me realize that you can’t please everyone; far better to be who God wants you to be and face peer pressure than to cave in and regret it later.
    Looking back now, I also realize that many of the times I was “bullied” was because of some problem I created myself. Sure, their reactions may have been extreme, but it didn’t lessen to any extent what I had done. For example: I thought because I didn’t have sex or drink, that I was somehow “better” than them. And like the stupid teenager I was, I said so. Of course, during this time, I thought I was right, and when they lashed out at me, I was the innocent victim. Now I know better. The bullies didn’t make me just realize who I didn’t want to be, they also made me face who I was.
    So while I’m in the process of thanking my bullies, I would also like to thank my parents who didn’t immediately go to the school demanding “justice” the second the realized I was unhappy, but instead tried to get me to learn from the situation.

    tl;dr: Alex, sorry, high school sucks. It’ll end soon. But try to learn from it and come out a better person.

  21. JC says:

    Yeah, if you are different you get ostracized. All these open minded cool dudes only like you if you are exactly like them How open minded is that?? Not at all. Truth is you Alex are getting tempted with rejection and self hatred via these pawns..just say no. Don’t believe the lie, stand on the truth. Be the awesome you that God made you to be and be proud of who you are:) Don’t let the opinion of some overgrown brats ring in your ears more than the words of your Father. http://www.fathersloveletter.com–its a collection of scripture, no commentary, and its all about what God says about who? You. Hang in there. The real world is beautiful and full of a lot more control over where you spend your time and with whom. If you can accept yourself now you will be so ahead of the game 🙂

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  23. Kimberly says:

    I had the same kinds of experiences in school. Someday you will go out into the world and discover that there are others like you. You will have friends and a fruitful productive life, in short, you will find happiness and belonging. Just hang on for now. There is nothing wrong with you. Picture an apple tree filled with apples and then as you look closer you see that it has one orange on it. Is the orange defective? Nope, it is just not in the right place to fit in very well. Hold on! There is definitely better ahead for you!

  24. Dante says:

    What I think the real problem is that now teenagers aren’t as regarded (I dont know a lot of english sorry) as they were (maybe). But also the way the Tv, ads… want them to live, parents dont matter, they need to be independent (even if you wanna buy a t-shirt you have to go alone), alcohol and drugs are the way to have fun, have lots of friends and social media, wear X kind of clothes (I’ve been bullied for wearing army clothing, which I liked because its durability and usefullness), just for not doing what they are programmed to do (the dont think by themselves). Also lots of parents just think kids have to be educated at school, they need to be autonome as early as possible, but that means only they need a mobile phone and cash, and their behavior at school is bad because they have attention disorders or they’re just bored. I dont know if it is just me or things are getting worse when we are talking about kids and teens being bullied (not because of the ways they do it, only because of the growing number and stupidity, which seems to be a global sickness)

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