You don’t “lose your freedom” when you have kids

I guess it’s become my tradition on the weekend to pull from the “mailbag” and post a response to an interesting email from the week. I thought I’d switch it up this time around and go with something that isn’t nasty, vulgar hate mail.

This guy is a future father of twins, and so I feel a certain camaraderie with him:

Dear Matt,

Sorry, I don’t mean to bug you. I know you are very busy and probably get a lot of email (that’s an understatement lol). Anyways, I found out a few weeks ago that my wife is having twins! Yeah, pretty crazy but I’m really excited. I’ve been reading your blog for a long time even back before your blog was famous. I know you have twins also and so I thought I’d reach out to see if you had any advice to give me?

Can you tell me about you experience as a father of twins? People only ever tell me nice little things and they make it seem like it will be the easiest thing in the world. Give it to me straight. What was the hardest or worst moment as a parent for you so far? Is it the fact that you don’t have any freedom anymore? My friends without kids are always going on trips and vacations and now they sort of make fun of me that that’s over for me now. So I’m just curious if you can tell me what you’ve been through?

Anyway, if you use this on your blog just don’t include my email address please. Thanks man! Love your stuff!

-Kevin

Dear Kevin,

This scene occurred about three months ago:

It was ten at night, my wife had just finished breastfeeding and she looked exhausted. I told her to get in bed and get some sleep. I said I’d stay out in the living room with the babies. See, for the first few weeks after the kids were born, we had various family members coming in to help. But they were all gone and we were on our own finally. My wife reluctantly took me up on my offer, and now this would be my first long stretch of time handling the kids alone. Well, I wasn’t alone in the house, but I was alone in the room, which seemed like a significant step.

I had it all worked out. How hard could it be to take care of two infants for a few hours? I’m bigger, smarter, faster, stronger, I have the ability to walk and speak; the deck is stacked in my favor, I figured. I had a plan: put a sleeping Luke and a sleeping Julia in their little swing thingamajigs, then sit on the couch with a beer and watch the History Channel. Wife sleeps, babies sleep, I relax — everybody wins. Perfect plan. What’s wrong with that plan? Nothing. Nothing should be wrong with it. It was a good plan.

Things started to go downhill rather immediately. In fact, as soon as I plopped on the sofa, took one sip of my favorite stout, and let out a relaxed “ahhh” sound, Julia decided to voice her displeasure with the evening’s agenda. Alright, put down the beer, pick up the kid. She stopped crying right away; I guess she just wanted Dad to hold her. Very sweet. Melted my heart. Then Luke chimed in. Ok, put down Julia, pick up Luke. He stops crying. Cue Julia. Ok, pick up both of them. I don’t know why they wanted out of their swings in the first place. I mean, these are really cool swings. The seats vibrate, it plays music; they’ve got, like, mobiles of fish or giraffes or whatever dangling above. I’d love to sit in a swing like that. You have to pay 3 grand at Brookstone for the adult equivalent of something like this. Anyway, good luck explaining that to newborns — Lord knows, I tried.

So I’m holding them both. The beer is a lost cause. It’s losing carbonation by the second. It’s gone, Matt, let it go. Let it go. You had a long day at work and all you want is some peace and quiet? Too bad, bud. The babies don’t care. I resign myself to this reality, and I smile as I hold both of my children close to me. Suddenly, the tender moment is interrupted by the angelic sounds of Luke crapping himself. Oh wonderful, it’s leaking out of his diaper and getting on my arm. Man, it’s everywhere. Good thing he’s my kid because I usually wouldn’t tolerate being covered in other people’s excrement. Julia must have been inspired because she decided to take a bathroom break as well. Fine, hey, when nature calls, right? Put them both down, take off their diapers — where are the new diapers? Now the babies are screaming again. Hold your horses, kids; Daddy’s gotta run and find the diapers and the wipes. Where does she keep them? Where are the diapers?! The clock is ticking — oh no, he’s peeing on the carpet. Oh hell, Julia is still pooping. Pooping on the carpet. Hold it, kids, just hold it! Screaming and peeing and pooping; it’s chaos. WHERE ARE THE DIAPERS? GOD HELP ME, I’M GONNA CRY. Oh, they’re right here in this basket labeled “diapers.” Ok, change both of them. Damn it, I put Luke’s on backwards. Fine. That’s fine. Whatever.

Whew. Both kids changed, poop cleaned off of me and the kids, the sewage on the floor will dry eventually. The carpet is brown anyway, so no harm no foul. The babies aren’t crying anymore, thank goodness. I’m sweating and I’m out of breath, but it looks like all is finally quiet on the Walsh Family front. Oh look, Pawn Stars is on and someone’s trying to sell John Wayne’s autographed boxer shorts or something for a million dollars. This will be interesting to watch. Never mind, Julia starts screaming again. Best I can tell, she’s upset that she keeps hitting herself in the face with her own hand like a mental patient. I tried to address the issue verbally, using my conflict resolution skills. “Julia, that’s your hand and that’s your face, stop making the two collide.” No luck, she’s not listening. Ok, put Luke down and give her the straightjacket swaddle. But now Luke is crying; I think he’s gassy. Next thing I know, I’m wrapping Julia in a blanket with my left hand while burping Luke with my right. Oh Jesus save me, now they’re both screaming like banshees. I can’t hold them both and burp them at the same time. Let me try to lay them on my knees and pat th– oh crap, Julia almost fell out of my lap. GOD, SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SERIOUSLY INJURED. I’M A BAD FATHER.

They’re still screaming. What can I do? What do you want, babies? TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT AND I’LL GIVE IT TO YOU. They aren’t hungry, they aren’t gassy, I just changed them. Why are they crying? Do babies cry for no reason? Where’s Alissa’s baby books? Let me look that up. Never mind, it’s no use. Please babies, stop crying. HAVE MERCY ON ME.

And so far, exactly 13 minutes had passed since my wife went to bed.

Finally, after two hours, I brought the kids back to my wife for their next breastfeeding session. She got one look at me and she could tell I was frazzled and beaten. They broke me. They broke me in like an old baseball glove. First round knock out; there was no getting around it. As my wife started to feed them, I went back out into the living room and, simply out of principle, I drank my flat, warm beer. I realized I still had some poop on my arm, but I didn’t care. I just sat there with my room temperature beer and my poopy arms, and I laughed, because what else can you do?

I don’t know if this is the WORST you can expect, Kevin, but I imagine you’ll have a similar story soon enough. The learning curve is tough, but you catch on much more quickly than you think you will, especially with twins. I still have a long way to go, but I’m happy to report that I’ve since taken care of the babies individually many times, and they haven’t again gotten the best of me to that extent. I’m not the Parenting Superhero that my wife is, but I do my damndest. I like to think I’m an asset, at the very least.

I know you don’t want anyone to blow sunshine in your face, but I also don’t want to paint my parenting experience to be nothing but one poop-covered disaster after another. The problem is that anyone can easily describe the stressful things; the good things, on the other hand, are much more difficult to illustrate. Difficult only because they’re so deep and transcendent and immeasurable. I can tell you about the love, and the joy, and the beauty, but even those words fail to contain how I feel about my children. After all, I’ve used “love” when discussing my favorite steakhouse, and “joy” when talking about the Ravens winning the Superbowl last year, and I even said “that was a beauty” yesterday when I successfully banked a ball of paper off the wall and into the trashcan from halfway across the room. I’ve wasted all of these words on food and sports, and now I’m left with nothing in the English language that can even come close to communicating what it means to me to be a father.

I can tell you that what people say about “losing your freedom” is bull crap. We’ve got a pathetically shallow notion of freedom in this country, and that’s perfectly reflected by this common claim that you lose it when you have kids. Sure, if “freedom” is merely “the ability to go places and do things with minimal hassle,” then, yeah, you’ve lost that. You haven’t lost it permanently, but for a good long while. This is a flimsy, flat, flaccid view of freedom. I believe there’s more to being “free” than vacations and financial flexibility. I’ve seen both sides of this; I lived completely alone for the first half of my twenties, so I know about this sort of freedom. I know about it, and I can honestly tell you that I feel more free now than I ever have before. If I didn’t have a family, I could go on a cruise, or move to Vegas, or see Paris if I so desired. In fact, I could go pretty much anywhere on the globe. But I’d only be “free” to travel laterally. Now, I can travel deeper. I’m free to go deeper into human existence and experience things that are much more life changing, enriching, transformative and exciting than a thousand vacations to a thousand exotic locations. The greatest freedom we have as human beings is the freedom to change. I’m not talking about changing the scenery, I’m talking about changing ourselves. Having children is TRULY life changing; having free time is not. This is not meant to be an attack on people without kids and spouses; I’m just clarifying a point. They are not more free than you.

Real freedom comes only from love. When you have your kids, you will have a love that you’ve never before experienced, and never could have experienced, and that will be the truest sort of freedom.

And that’s about all I can tell you, man. I’m sorry to disappoint you. I can tell you about my limited experiences, and I can offer my meager insight, for whatever it’s worth. But I can’t give you any advice. I mean, I CAN give advice, but I won’t. I don’t think I’m quite credentialed enough to start writing parenting advice columns. Maybe after I build my Daddy Resume a little more, but right now I’m just too raw. I’m a rookie, Kevin. I’m only four months into this thing. I can’t tell you how to climb a mountain when I’m still six feet from the base myself. Besides, giving parenting advice is a lot of responsibility and pressure. What if I give the wrong suggestions, and you follow them, and because of my bad advice your kids grow up to be drug dealers, or terrorists, or ventriloquists or something? I can’t walk around with that guilt on my shoulders.

Don’t worry, there are plenty of people out there who will be MORE than willing to give out parenting advice. Pretty much anyone, actually — parents, non-parents, politicians — they’ve all got ideas as to how you should raise your child. Just walk into a room and say “I’m going to be a parent,” and immediately the Peanut Gallery will rappel down from the ceiling, climb in through the air ducts, break down the doors, and swarm around you to give a billion different conflicting perspectives on how you should handle every single solitary aspect of parenting.

We are a society short on wisdom but flush with advice. We’ve got a scarcity of knowledge and understanding, but a surplus of “this is how you should do it” opinions. I recently went to a bookstore looking for a particular book by a theologian named Dietrich von Hildebrand. Much to my surprise, the store didn’t have a theology section — but it did have five rows of advice and “self-help” books. As a matter of fact, it didn’t have any shelves dedicated to astronomy or poetry or philosophy, either. But it had advice. Lots and lots of advice.

Far be it for me to add my paltry voice to that dog-pile.

The only advice I will give is this: be careful whose advice you heed. Just because somebody is a parent doesn’t mean they have any business teaching a class on the subject. Similarly, just because you own a car doesn’t mean I should necessarily ask you how to fix my transmission. You don’t have to be a mechanic to simply acquire an automobile, and you don’t have to be a competent parent to reproduce. Personally, in whatever arena of my life — parenting, broadcasting, blogging — I’ve found a very select group of seasoned individuals, whose talents, experience and authority in these fields I respect, and I’ve intently listened to (but not necessarily followed) their guidance and instruction. To everyone else I give a polite nod, and then promptly ignore everything they say.

Of course now I’ve presented a paradox of giving you advice that you shouldn’t listen to advice. I don’t know. Maybe you ought to take that advice and apply it only to me. Like I said, I’m far from an expert.

Lord, now I’ve given you advice to not take my advice about not taking advice. I’m going to quit while I’m ahead. (Too late, I know).

Congratulations, Kevin. I bet you’ll be a great dad.

Sincerely,

Matt

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160 Responses to You don’t “lose your freedom” when you have kids

  1. Pam says:

    Thanks for taking me back a few years to when my twins were that little! I got a great chuckle remembering the pooping and the peeing all over my husband and I, the fevers, colic (cured only by The Kings of Leon) the laughs, smiles and pure unadulterated joy.

  2. h2huk says:

    Wow, some straight talking advice, an honest description of parenting experience Matt, well done. As a father of two myself, the common advice was “its easier with the second” or “at least you will know what your’e doing” was thrown at us more than volunteering to babysit!
    You touch on it often, that the best thing to do in pretty much any part of life, is to accept when you need to give this moment your complete attention. Stop thinking about the next moment or the desire to be somewhere else, doing this or that, just relax, give in to what you are doing right now. Some call it mindfulness, I call it living!
    I remember a plumber who came to fix my pipes, Mr R, and he spent most of his time injuring himself, spreading blood up my walls and making leaks – why ? Well he was answering his mobile, moaning about this and that and probably wishing he was somewhere else. The only time he was truly in the room was when I paid his fee!
    This taught me that children, especially babies (but the same applies for all ages including adult children – ha) is that they chill right down when your body and mind is giving them attention.
    Have faith that beers will still be there when baby is asleep or left home, the TV can be recorded or watched on YouTube, give your attention freely and life becomes – effortless!
    Of course this could only be true for a few, or it could be true for you.

  3. jtkblack says:

    Oh my word that is hilarious !!!
    Takes me back too.. my twins are now 13 (?)
    We have had another 3 children since..
    All i can say, twins is WAY WAY WAY more than just twice the work as a singleton!
    Congratulations Kevin and keep up the good work Matt 🙂

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  5. Kathy Donnelly says:

    Matt I just learned about your blog today when one of my facebook friends posted the “Stay at home Mom”. I have to say that you have a wonderful insight and out look on life in general and family in the specific. My children are raising my grandchildren now and I have seen and experienced a lot of what you said. I especially appreciate the whole advice thing. Listen to those you trust, dismiss the meddlers, and listen to your gut instinct and the Lord. After that it is all trial and error because there are not two kids alike….not even twins. God Bless!

  6. ameliaj13 says:

    Now that my oldest son is almost 15, I realize how fast the time will go with my 14 month old. I also realize how very different siblings can be even though they have the same genes! What works for one definitely might not work for the other. My 14 month old started colic just a few days after I said “I’d die” if I had a colicky baby (I swear it was karma), and you know what? We got through it. It SUCKED. Every night at 6pm for 3 months he turned into this screaming, inconsolable little monster. His father and I thought it would never end but deep down knew it was just a phase (praying rather). He kept saying “I never had to deal with this before…John was never like this”, to which I replied “Well this one is, so we have no choice BUT to deal with it”.
    Parenting is not easy any way you look at it. It’s a huge responsibility…but they do grow up, (and hopefully take some of the values you have instilled in them). They make you proud, they make you laugh, they make you cry, but they are your world, and you created them. Enjoy the good times and LIVE IN THOSE MOMENTS…..something I do more of this time around. You’ll have more “free time” again eventually!

  7. Hey, Kevin, it’s going to be AWESOME! I have 4 kids. I also had twins, but they were my last 2. In the beginning I had days that I wept from fatigue. but there was a lot of joy , too. Now the twins are 14. I have boy /girl twins. (It’s always fun to have people look at your obvious boy/girl babies and ask if your twins are identical…umm) It’s pretty fun to see my son give his sister a piggy-back ride or watch them play video games together or tease each other. My kids are all almost grown now…the ride has been bumpy, but the adventure has been worth it! God bless!

  8. Leah Robbins says:

    I love this! I always say to people who thinks kids stop from from stuff in their lives, that this is life you were meant to have, so live!! Having had twins myself my advice to parents of twins was this; when they are babies you will not manage, your house will be a mess, there will be a lot of crying, and frustration, but as long as you have a sense of humor, and enjoy the moment, you will get through it. As they get older the joy and pleasure will be unbelievable

  9. mamaziller says:

    AMAZING I love this part:

    I can tell you that what people say about “losing your freedom” is bull crap. We’ve got a pathetically shallow notion of freedom in this country, and that’s perfectly reflected by this common claim that you lose it when you have kids. Sure, if “freedom” is merely “the ability to go places and do things with minimal hassle,” then, yeah, you’ve lost that. You haven’t lost it permanently, but for a good long while. This is a flimsy, flat, flaccid view of freedom. I believe there’s more to being “free” than vacations and financial flexibility. I’ve seen both sides of this; I lived completely alone for the first half of my twenties, so I know about this sort of freedom. I know about it, and I can honestly tell you that I feel more free now than I ever have before. If I didn’t have a family, I could go on a cruise, or move to Vegas, or see Paris if I so desired. In fact, I could go pretty much anywhere on the globe. But I’d only be “free” to travel laterally. Now, I can travel deeper. I’m free to go deeper into human existence and experience things that are much more life changing, enriching, transformative and exciting than a thousand vacations to a thousand exotic locations. The greatest freedom we have as human beings is the freedom to change. I’m not talking about changing the scenery, I’m talking about changing ourselves. Having children is TRULY life changing; having free time is not. This is not meant to be an attack on people without kids and spouses; I’m just clarifying a point. They are not more free than you.

    Real freedom comes only from love. When you have your kids, you will have a love that you’ve never before experienced, and never could have experienced, and that will be the truest sort of freedom.

  10. Jessica says:

    Just sent this link to my husband as it completely reminded me of him in the early days with our now 9 month old boy/girl twins! I had to hold back my snorting laughter so I wouldn’t wake them up! Thanks for a trip down (recent but foggy) memory lane. I know we’re not very far ahead of you, but you figure out more and more each day. Best wishes to all 4 of you! It’s an awesome ride, isn’t it?

  11. FRO3PO says:

    I’m fairly new to your blog Matt, but it seems to be that you care about defending/upholding a lot of uncommon common sense just as my favorite author G.K. Chesterton did and I appreciate that! It may benefit many of the haters out there (and definitely the likers/lovers) to read some GKC i.e. “What’s Wrong with the World” “The Well and the Shallows”etc. It is the exceptions which prove the Rules and our society at large has forgotten/abused this eternal principle and given it up for something like – “the exceptions shall become rules, we shall forget about and or abuse the Rules since some of us did a bad job at it or because we just feel like it!”. This needs to stop. Blessings to/thru you.

  12. Sam says:

    A friend of mine sent me your blog on President Obama; what a conglomeration of lies and totally warped thinking on your part. Where do you and those like you come from? Have you no sense of what a sustainable democratic republic requires. In my humble opinion you and yours are an eminent danger to our free society. I could change my view of you but only if you would take each of the ridiculous accusations you have make about President Obama and site reliable sources for the crap you spread. You contribute nothing but turmoil in your rants. You must have come from a strange planet. I even hesitated to take my valuable time to give you a piece of my mind, but people like you must be rebutted at every opportunity. You are wasting time and possibly wasting a good mind.

    • Megan says:

      I don’t think Matt is wasting a good mind … and at least he has a good mind! Wish same could be said for present company. You are absolutely correct Sam – maybe you could find something else to do with your “valuable time” … like taking a refresher on spelling or something. Please spare us the litany!

    • Glenn Warren says:

      Sam, my dear boy, what you don’t realize is that it is you who have been propagandized. The education that you have received has not opened your mind but chained you to a worthless dogma of sustainable progressive nonsense. Take a deep breath, consider picking up some books with difficult titles, written by men of value, who lived long ago. Read the federalist papers and a few biographies written more than 50 years ago about great men. Avoid the banter of your peers and the liberal media talking heads and you might have a chance at a good life. I will say a prayer for you tonight.

      • Sam says:

        Thanks for your offer, but you will do better to pray for yourself. BTW, I am out of this useless blog. Good luck to you and yours; and in the future please do whatever you can to rid yourself of hatred, prejudice and intolerance. Why don’t you pray on that?

  13. Heather says:

    Loved this whole story, email, advice piece. I know SO much of what you have experienced! We have 7, and oh boy, the stories we could tell! And like you said, it’s an incredible freedom. Thanks for the laugh!

  14. Sharon says:

    I am not the parent of twins; my kids are 2.5 years apart, and now in their 20’s.. But I am a daycare provider, so have dealt simultaneously with many kids close in age and you have nailed it! I’ve been there many times, and all I can say is that it’s a good thing these little ones are such wonderful miracles, because sometimes understanding that is the only thing that gets you through. Thanks for the lol today!

  15. Rory Tobias says:

    If you think you can only grow ‘laterally’ when you lack the awesome responsibility of children, you have no idea what you are capable of. You clearly lack imagination. Going on a cruise? Moving to Vegas? Those are the straw men? How easy to knock down. Create a compelling argument. I have children and there is a paradox. Before – my living was amazing. I had lots of time, and I knew what to do with it. Now – my living is amazing. I have very little free time, but I know what to do with it. etc.

  16. Mate you’re spot on! I’m not really a reader of opinion articles normally, but this was worth my time. Keep it up man.

  17. Renee says:

    This is probably my favorite post on the realities of new parenting. Ever. Two thumbs up for brutal honesty, I love it-and will never forget the day my oldest blew out a diaper all over his carseat on the way to the sitter’s, and I had to go to work and didn’t have time to clean it, and so the smell at the end of the day was horrific, and we borrowed her carseat just to get home so I could disinfect his to within an inch of its life!

  18. Patricia Lawrence Lawrence says:

    I like this advice a lot. Being a Nana (name my grandchildren call me) is precious to me. I can’t believe how much a person could feel unconditional love but when my children were born I learned the true meaning of humble. I realize that babies don’t come with a manual but I am very proud of the people my children became. Each of the four of them has had to struggle and over come the issues of life. Of course they aren’t done but so far I can respect their efforts. The only advice anyone has a right to give is to remember these babies are depending on you to do what you feel is right and love them. When you discipline one of them be sure to remember you love that child. When you are scared and worried remember to show them love. If you do that mistakes will pass. You can’t do so terrible if you remember those three words for any member of you family. “I love you”. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to forget these words when you are faced with something “out of left field”. When that happens and you remember afterwards love will guide you to do what is right with the aftermath. Love will show you how to be a man and humble yourself to apologize or own up to mistakes. Children will still love the imperfect dad so just love them and do what you think you must for them. No one can do this for you. More than one person will have an impact in your children’s lives. Your job is to be the one they know will be the rock that they can come back to for advice and support. I had twins that were born 13 weeks early. One son survived. He was challenged in so many ways. 33 years ago things were not as advanced as now. The best thing my husband did for this tiny little boy was to love him and everything he did with this child had to be tempered with love. It required a lot of patience because of the many problems with his developmental problems. We had an older child and two more children after him with needs as well. I can say that child did learn somehow that there was nothing closed to him. He made it through school with homeschooling at times. He also went and served a mission and graduated college with a degree in Graphic Design. He now has 4 children with a very sweet patient wife. No he wasn’t on the Dean’s List and it was harder than it would be for you and me. He did it though. Ok I’ve taken enough of your time and I’m sure lots of your readers are chiming in with advice. I just felt it important to give you this little bit of advice and say “Good Luck to you and your wife raising your precious babies.

  19. mamathreads says:

    I’ve been reading for a while. This was brilliant. Besides the fact that your 13-minutes story had me laughing so hard I was crying (which is hard to do), your explanation of what freedom is – and is not – was so insightful and spot on. (I kept on crying. So true.) I’m so grateful to have met and married my husband young, and started my family young. I kept hearing people say things like “I’m not mature/selfless/whatever enough to have kids yet,” but my husband and I have seen our kids to be the very vehicle by which God is sharpening, humbling, and maturing us. They are my traveling deeper, as you said.

  20. Glenn Warren says:

    A simple reply to all you have said … “LOVE”; enjoy the experience of children, it never gets old, but they do, each moment is precious, even the ordinary ones, ask any parent who has lost one. Mine are now 30 and 32, my life was made so much more by having them in my life. There are no more words than “LOVE”

  21. kkollwitz says:

    I could not have imagined before parenthood what effect it would have, any more than a larva can imagine life as a butterfly. http://platytera.blogspot.com/2009/08/metamorphosis.html

  22. The poop/pea/diaper scene left me laughing.
    Nice job trying to explain the feelings of love that go with parenting. I discovered a whole new king of love when I became a parent.

  23. Katie Shanks says:

    Oh my, I laughed so hard I cried before I made it through the first couple of paragraphs! That is one of the most vividly honest descriptions you could possibly give of just a couple hours with twins! And the fun just keeps on getting funner! Ok, admittedly when mine were between the ages of about 2-4 I prayed every night that God would please just let me die peacefully in my sleep because I was sure I could not make it through another day of double terrible two’s…..but now that they’re 6, I’m not going to say it gets easier, mostly I think you just learn to roll with the punches, but I will say that I treasure every single moment with them and love seeing the smart, handsome little men they’re turning into!

  24. Sam says:

    I see this is just another place where many vacuous minds reside; I am outtahere folks.

  25. My only advice to parents of any number of babies is to sleep when you can. The rest will take care of itself.

    A mom of twins and triplets, and far from an expert.

    • Cherlyn says:

      Kathleen, I like how you said sleep when you can vs. Sleep when the babies sleep. Lol. I always hated when people told me to sleep when the babies sleep. For one it was my only time to wash those 32 bottles required for daily feeds when they were first home, and the only chance I got to get them all made again. It was the only time that I could do laundry, or clean anything in the house. It was the only chance to call my sister and tell her how much I loved my babies or how hard it was being a mom to triplets. I needed that time. I was the most sleep deprived zombie who left the husband home with three screaming infants so I go to the grocery store for 2 hours trying to figure out where I was and what I needed to get that wasn’t baby related. It’s easy to remember all the stuff for the babies but remembering to buy groceries or shampoo for yourself was as difficult as getting a shower and brushing my teeth when they were little. I’d do it all again if my husband would let me. My trio is off to kinder this year and I miss the little buggers but it makes it more fun when I get to hear all about their day. I even enjoy homework with them most days. Gotta say multiples rock!

  26. Carly says:

    Love this – I have twin girls that are 8 months old. It sure is a worldwind and this story made me laugh and smile and nod with tears in my eyes.

    Just found your blog today and look forward to reading more.

  27. Hilary Hill says:

    Im 28 yrs old and I have 3 young children, 4 and under. I always thought I’d LOVE to have twins, but yeah, those early sleepless days might kill me! haha I do pray for them, though, if God ever blesses us with them. I love seeing twin babies and toddlers play together.

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  29. Cherlyn says:

    Laughed so hard at this story. Can totally relate but x 3! I would trade all the trips around the world any day for my trips that I have now. I guess in a way I did but I don’t regret it for a minute. My kids have learned, now 5.5 years to be good little travelers. We drive 15-20 hours each summer to visit family and they do amazing. We stay for a few weeks to make it worth it.

  30. rebecca says:

    hilarious! our twins are 13 months and JUST started sleeping through the night…most nights. people ask how do you do it, and you know what? you just do it. every day. because of love.

    i love what you said about the freedom to go deeper, rather than the freedom to move laterally. pregnancy and motherhood have catapulted me into another dimension of life and of myself. i no longer feel the tug of many nagging things, the importance of which i questioned anyway. it’s an amazing gift to be a parent to two kids of the same age. and it’s damn hard. the hardest thing i’ve ever done, that’s for sure! like parenting olympics.

    as neitzsche said, “what does not kill me makes me stronger.” and “that something is difficult is more a reason to do it.”

  31. John says:

    Lmao you lose everything when you have kids for most it’s the most devastating event in one’s life if they are willing to admit it or not……or possibly even admit it…..ladies you look super gross during and after preg. Stop destroying your beautiful bodies it’s like tearing down the Sistine Chapel to put in a chucky cheeses…..with stretch marks lol…….appalling….stop defending your mistakes people, you fucked up and your lives suck….just admit it and move on the best you can….I know I’ve felt the pain of having to admit I messed up….big time

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