Narcissism was a bad thing, until we started calling it “self-esteem”

I have no self-esteem. If you asked me to rank the people for whom I have the highest esteem, I doubt I’d make the top 20 of my own list. Maybe I could crack ten thousand, but I keep meeting or reading about people who are better than me in so many ways, consequently I plummet further down the charts. I’m actually very happy about this, luckily I’m not the best thing that humanity has ever produced, and God help us if all the better people die off and leave me at the top of the heap.

That said, I don’t dislike myself, I don’t have a problem with my self-image, I don’t have low self-esteem. I’m saying I have NO self-esteem, for the same reason that I have no pet unicorns. Self-esteem is a nonsensical fantasy. It’s a false Gospel. It’s a meaningless fabrication that exists only in your imagination. It’s a modern doctrine invented by the prophets of new age psychology. It’s the Good News proclaimed by the apostles of the Religion of Self. Worst of all, the pursuit of this elusive self-esteem elixir leaves everyone empty, confused, and, ironically, unhappy and hating themselves.

I’m no genius (or maybe I am a genius who thinks he’s not a genius because he has low self-esteem), but I sniffed the stench of bull crap on this “self-esteem” cult back in elementary school. I remember the first time we learned about the term. The guidance counselor handed out a work sheet and asked us to “rate” our self-esteem on a scale of 1 to 10. As a side note, it bears contemplating the geopolitical relevance of this scene: while we were sitting in class, talking about our feelings, kids in China were learning silly things like “math” and “science.” Now, years later, we’re bankrupt and they own the country. But at least we all feel pretty good about ourselves.

In any case, there we were, facing the important task of arbitrarily quantifying our egos. Most of my fellow classmates jotted down nines and tens. Incidentally, some of them would grow up to be unemployed alcoholics, but I’m guessing if they could retake that test, they’d score themselves exactly the same. I, on the other hand, felt a bit confused by the assignment. I raised my hand: “My mom and dad told me that we’re supposed to be humble, so can I be humble and also give myself a 10?” I wasn’t trying to be combative; I was honestly perplexed. At home, my parents always told us that God wants us to have humility, and discipline, and respect. I didn’t remember them ever telling me about the part of the Bible that mentions this “self-esteem” thing.

My guidance counselor quickly clarified. He informed me that, yes, you can have maximum self-regard and ALSO be a pillar of unassuming humility. You can think highly of yourself and still be humble — best of both worlds! Wow! I’m awesome because I know I’m awesome, and because I’m humble! Nobody’s more humble than me. I’m the most specialist and humblest kid on Earth!

I bought into that notion for a while, and it sure felt great to be great for no reason. But then, when I was a little older, I decided to pull out a dictionary and fact check my guidance counselor.

Humility: Modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance.

Esteem: To regard highly or favorably; regard with admiration.

Hmmm. Admiration. Self-admiration. I can admire myself, and regard myself highly, while also regarding myself modestly? Admire myself? If someone asked me who I “admire,” I can answer “myself,” and still fit the humility bill? Can I chug a bottle of Hershey’s syrup while also exercising self control? Can I be a pathological liar while also being a person of integrity? Incredible. Now, can I head north to sound the trumpet of my own superiority, while also heading south to do the same?

Answer: Yes on all counts, if I have enough self-esteem. Self-esteem makes anything possible, much like LSD or cocaine. Self-esteem is, after all, just a code word for self-delusion. Apologists will claim that self-esteem is simply a matter of confidence, but if self-esteem is confidence then why don’t we just call it confidence? Because, although they sometimes bear similar-looking fruit, they stem from vastly different roots. Or, I should say, confidence has roots, whereas self-esteem lays on top of the soil, grounded in nothingness. A student should only be confident about a test if she studied for it. An athlete should be confident on the field if he practiced, and if he has talent. A singer should only be confident in her abilities if she, in fact, has abilities, and if she then works diligently to fine tune them. Confidence, in other words, is earned. The word “confident” is usually followed by the words “in,” “about,” or “because.” Rational, reality-based confidence is necessary, and we often need to call upon it to overcome fear and doubt. On the other hand, confidence without reason could be defined as self-esteem, as self-esteem is something conjured out of thin air. Confidence exists for a reason. Self-esteem is because it is, and requires no justification for its own existence. The person with “high self-esteem” (also known as a “narcissist”), feels that he need not answer any questions about it, which is beneficial considering he can’t answer any questions about it.

Why do you have a high opinion of yourself?

Because I have high self-esteem.

Why?

Because I love myself.

Why?

Because… Because I have high self-esteem.

Why?

Because I love myself.

Etc., unto infinity.

If a contractor is “confident” in his estimate, and then the work takes three times as long and costs six times more than the quote, you’d probably call him a lying thief, and rightly so. Yet if a guy says he has high “self-esteem,” and then you find out that he’s actually a lazy, selfish underachiever, you must still respect his “healthy”(read: deranged)self-image. Something’s wrong here.

I scrolled through my newsfeed to see what sort of wit, wisdom, and insight social media wanted to provide today. I happened across a Facebook friend who posted this little morsel: “Always remember that you gotta love yourself before you can love anyone else!” This is a common cliché we’ve all heard a million times over. You constantly see it written on Twitter and Facebook, oh, and in the Satanic Bible. Love of the self is, I must point out, the central tenet of Satanism. I’m not calling my Facebook friend a Satanist (although he might be, for all I know), and I’m not calling you a Satanist if you’ve regurgitated this slogan at some point; I’m just making an observation. Satanism is founded on the Gospel of Self Love, as opposed to the Gospel of Christ, which is founded on DENIAL of self and love of God. The two are not only incompatible, but literally the two most incompatible things in the entire universe.

Love yourself. Self-esteem. Self-admiration. I’d expect this sort of psych-babble from the disciples of Freud, but from the disciples of Jesus? This is terrifying development. Profoundly terrifying. Think about this for a minute. You can only love others if you first love yourself. A person with “low self-esteem” can not love other people. If this is true, then these two things must also be true:

1) Your spouse, your children, your parents, and your friends must be held hostage by your fickle emotional state. You give them, emotionally, only what you give yourself.

2) You must believe that love of self is the source from which all other love emanates.

Let’s first dissect number one: “Sorry honey, I don’t love myself today, so I’m not going to be able to love you, either. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow. Anyway I’m headin’ out to have an affair. Don’t be mad! I just don’t love myself today!” Love is a choice. If you don’t love others, it’s because you CHOOSE not to love them. Personally, I don’t always love myself. Sometimes I don’t even like myself. I am flawed and weak. I’ve done things I shouldn’t do, I’ve stumbled and sinned. But I always love my children and my wife because I choose to, and because THEY deserve my love. My love for them isn’t about me; it’s about them. Now, the modern slogan-spewer may respond that we “learn how to love” by first loving ourselves. This is foolishness. You love others by sacrificing and giving of yourself. How do you sacrifice yourself for yourself and give of yourself to yourself? What part of self-love translates effectively into sacrificial love?

Can I learn solid investment strategies by stuffing my cash into a mattress?

As for number two: Here we’ve arrived at the Satanic portion of the program. If love of self comes first — FIRST, before all other love — then it is the Source. It is the starting point. You are god, or a god on a planet with seven billion other deities. Such a philosophy is fine among materialists and devil worshipers, but not among Christians. A Christian knows that we must love God before we can love anyone or anything else. God is the source of all love. God is love. The believers in the Doctrine of Self-Love can only point to one passage in Scripture to make their case. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But the modern version of this commandment would be: “Love yourself SO THAT you can love your neighbor.” This is not how He instructed us, and He spends the rest of His time telling us to humble ourselves, urging us to deny ourselves, and warning against us exalting ourselves.

I’m not saying we ought to hate ourselves, although, honestly, I think we’re better erring on that side than the other. And I’m not saying we should have “low self-esteem.” I’m saying we should forget about our self-esteem altogether. Whether your self-esteem is “low” or “high,” whether you love yourself or are merely “working on loving yourself,” it’s all poison because it’s all an excuse to be self-obsessed. We’ve caved in on ourselves, like dying stars, and we’re sucking our spouses and our children into the black hole of our megalomania. We can’t see the world outside the window, because we’re too busy whispering sweet nothings to our reflections in the glass. We’ve become convinced that it doesn’t matter what we do, or what we say, or the sort of person that we are, as long as we have warm feelings inside. In a saner, less confused time, people saw it the opposite way. It didn’t matter how you felt; it mattered what you did, what you said, the sort of person that you were.

These days, people sit around unhappy, alone with their “healthy” self-esteems, telling themselves how great they are and how the world ought to “accept” them no matter what. When I was single I did the online dating thing for a little while (I met my wife on EHarmony). The vast majority of the profiles I came across featured some version of this phrase: “I want to find someone who will accept me and never try to change me.” Look, I understand you don’t want to end up in a relationship with a person who will pick you apart and criticize your every move, but you likewise don’t want to be with some passive schlub who will merely “accept” you. What kind of a pathetic and dreary goal is that anyway — just wanting to be “accepted”, tolerated, put up with? That’s not real. Life is not static and stagnant, do you really want your relationships to be? At some point you have to confront the fact that you’re not perfect, there are parts of you that are unacceptable, parts of you that a loving spouse wouldn’t “accept.” Marriage isn’t for people who are too good to change, that’s what divorces are for. In fact, life isn’t for people who are too good to change. Life IS change, reject one and you reject the other.

The “self-esteem,” “I’m special,” “love yourself,” dogma ruins everything it touches. It won’t help you at school, it will stifle your career ambitions, and it will surely wreak havoc on your relationships. Insecurities and doubt can have the same destructive impact — most narcissists are extremely insecure — but at least they might drive you to be better. Self-esteem can’t motivate improvement, because you can only confront the need for improvement if you first acknowledge your many flaws and imperfections. That process might take a toll on your self-esteem, so it must be avoided.

Men are easier to admire when turn we them into myths and monuments. This is especially true of the most mythologized creature in your world: you.

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278 Responses to Narcissism was a bad thing, until we started calling it “self-esteem”

  1. Pingback: Blogtober Day 5: But What About My Self Esteem? | emileethestoryweaver

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  3. Teri says:

    Donald gregoire

  4. Mark says:

    Most of the top rock stars and actors must be narcissistic to a point or they wouldn’t like that much attention. and have that big an ego and got were they are. I know quite a few people who are probably narcissistic and there not necessarily bad people. I think It depends on how extreme It is and what else the person is like as well and if people can tame It we label things because Its convenient. So and so is narcissistic so and so is whatever. I don’t think things are that simple. narcissism is something probably drummed up by sociologists and society who like to think they have got the answers sand everything falls in place, If everyone went to a shrink and was really honest I bet you would be hard pushed to find anyone with no disorder even If it’s a small one. I know people who love themselves and are good people with It.
    I disagree with what is being said about Self Esteem. Yes there are plenty of people with a high opinion of themselves or low If projecting a high opinion because of insecurity. There are also plenty of people who have a over inflated opinions of themselves and are not very nice people who as you mentioned will probably never change. Everyone standards are different some people expect a lot more of themselves than others and this can damage self Esteem. People who have been put down in lots of times or experiences all go in the sub conscious whether people like It or not. You always have delusionist or whatever but what about the genuine people with a low self Esteem.
    As for this “while we were sitting in class, talking about our feelings, kids in China were learning silly things like “math” and “science.” Now, years later, we’re bankrupt and they own the country.
    we you spend all our time talking about your feelings in America.. You don’t learn Maths and Science as well. So many youngsters have issues if there not sorted they grow.

  5. Sherri Viljoen says:

    I am right there with you, this is one of the best blogs I have read in a very long time. You should write a book. But don’t let it go to your head when it becomes a best seller!!! I know everything you are talked about is true I have seen it first hand in my live. I have found that I am I person who puts other above myself. I have low self esteem, most of time I am used by other because I want them to love me. Luckily I got a self sacrificing husband and we together make a wonderful team of lifting one another up and do things for each other many others too. It hard for me tell anyone that I can’t do something for them. Partly because it give me so much joy to be a helper, partly I don’t want people to dislike me. I am just understand just why I am always really to sacrifice myself. It’s me reaching out to the world and asking to be loved just for me. I grew up always feeling I had to do more to be loved. Luckily Bill (my husband) has shown he we come to God just as we are and God love us without works. We to love each this way, but not perfectly like God’s love but that is the daily goal for Bill and I to put aside any differences and love unconditional one another. We have be married for 32 1/2 years now and he is the love of my life. God bless your family. May God pour His many blesses down upon you and lift you when you are down.

    • Mark says:

      Hi Sherri.
      From what you write Sociologist will tell you your type of character are usually very genuine people who are trying to hard all the time to please. Dont worry your not alone there are lots of people like you. Some people with low self esteem are aggressive or nasty to others to make themselves feel better some become reclusive some over compensate by over inflating themselves. Its much harder and takes a lot more be like you are. A great author for this sort of stuff is a guy called Geoff Thompson. There is plenty of stuff he writes I don’t agree with but he writes very genuinely and some of the best self help stuff out there. His material has helped me loads and still does. I would recommend his books like The Elephant and The Twig and The Formula.

  6. Jaana Pitkanen says:

    Finally a rational explanation of why self esteem is a load of bollocks am tired of fighting against this ungodly teaching that is devouring our young

  7. self-esteem is a very delicate feeling. It is visible when it is there and there is no existence when mind is diverted to other negative activities.

  8. Dilly Bar says:

    In my mind, self-esteem means to understand your own value, which is a very important thing. The lower value someone places on themselves, they are more likely they are to get into relationships with people who treat them like they have no worth. You allow yourself the love you think you deserve.
    The only problem with teaching self-esteem in schools is because they completely remove God from the situation. Kids are being taught to value themselves, but they aren’t taught why. We are nothing compared to God, but we mean everything to Him. He created this world just for us. He loved us so much that He sent Jesus to die for our sins. He knows and loves each of us personally. When we look at it this way, we can love ourselves and our neighbors in the way He loves us. God helps us see our potential, but tells us that we must serve and love others to reach it. And whenever we accomplish something great, we must remember that we couldn’t have done it without God’s help.

  9. Kruger says:

    People without self-esteem seems to like to market narcissism as self-esteem, since they don’t have the self-esteem to admit they lack it.

  10. Pingback: A Woman’s Self Esteem | Lovelyleblanc7's Blog

  11. Moses Quinones says:

    Kruger, that’s funny, I don’t care who you are. You’re saying you have to have self-esteem to admit you lack it? Narcissism and high self-esteem are very similar.

    Self love is weak because it depends on self. And self may be big when we stare into our belly buttons. Self love didn’t even make the cut for the four Greek loves: Eros, Scorge and Philos are all finite, conditional loves from and by self to others. They all work and for some that’s all they want or believe there is. They work only because they are love for/about OTHERS. But they fail because sexy gets old and not sexy, kids turn on you then go to jail and friends marry people you don’t like and don’t like you then move far away. It’s not difficult to understand people spending their lives or lack-there-of working on these conditional loves. None of these loves are about self and even Agape is about Other (God) and others. I’m not taking my self-worth or self-esteem into the next life so why pump it up? I am unconditionally, infinitely loved beyond my understanding by my creator God. And now I don’t have much need for having and defending self-love; I’m too busy trying to share God’s love with others, no? Not to say I’ve arrived and can stay in that place, just that I know that place.

  12. Frank says:

    I liked your essay. Though this doesn’t mean I agree with everything you said; Some I agree w/you; some I disagree with you.

    I think there are 2 kinds of narcissisms: healthy-narcissism and unhealthy-narcissism.

    Healthy narcissism is the NATURAL narcissism; we’re naturally born with it; it’s another instinct of self-preservation(one of the instincts of life). e.g. I can only be friend with someone who has the same mentality or interests in life as I do. This a narcissistic way of liking/loving someone else, but it is good for my life if I only befriend someone who’s just like me; so this kind of narcissistic friendship preserves and enhances my life. It’s healthy.

    But the second type of narcissism (the unhealthy one or the one that we acquire after we’re born mistakenly through associating w/others) that narcissism is bad for you; it could even kill you.

    Unhealthy narcissism is no different than inflated-ego, or the excessive self-admiration without any actual achievement or ability, and it is when someone believes he can do ANYTHING, as God can do anything (omnipotent).

    This kind of narcissism is bad for you and bad for those who associate w/you. If you believe you’re God and always admire yourself and even expect others to admire you all time and never criticize you (just as God demands) then you’d crash sooner or later. Because after the first thing that you did and realized you couldn’t do it this would be a devastating wound to your narcissism, and you’d lose all your confidence in trying anything else. You’d always think you’re not good at anything. It’s all because you believe you’re either good at everything or nothing. You’re so unhealthy narcissist that you can’t accept the fact that you could be good at doing one thing but bad at doing several other things.

    “Failure is not an option.”<This is wrong. Failure sometimes should be accepted, because you were not good at that, and no matter how much you tried and people around you boasted your confidence, yet you were not able to do it. You did not have enough talent, intellect, or bodily strength to do it so you had to give it up and call it a failure. I can't be a football player if i'm a short and weak guy. I can only be a football player if i'm big and have the talent to learn the sport like a pro.

    So we can't do everything, and everything is NOT possible. Some things are possible while other things are not possible to do for an individual(we all have our limits in what we can do and what we can't do). If everything was possible to do, so why do we have the word "impossible" there must be things that we tried and failed so we called them impossible to do. Can you pick up a mountain and put in your pocket? No! Never! So that is impossible to do for you. But you can make a cup of coffee, or satisfy your wife in bed, or manage a restaurant(you know; ordinary things): these are possible for you to do. But it's impossible for you to be an extraordinary person. Accept it and move on.

    Only few in history have been able to be extraordinary, because they proved to us and themselves they could do much more than us the ordinary people can, So they should be proud of their actual achievements, but without achievements why should be proud of themselves and claim they can could do the extraordinary things they did? Pride should come after the achievement, not before.

    But even the extraordinary ones had and have their limits in their abilities. Sure Albert Einstein was many times better than most of us in physics, but he must have had his limit in physics too. But you and I can never be as good as Einstein in physics, because we tried and failed, but he tried and succeeded. That's the difference between us and him. So in that regard Einstein is more able than us in physics. We should accept it and don't feel a shame, but just a fact of life. I will be humble before Einstein, but I would not be humble before you. Why should I? You've achieved nothing extra ordinary. You're ordinary like me. I only respect extraordinary persons who achieve great things tat I admire.

    One should know the truth after he tries to do something that if he/she is good at it or not. And no matter how much you try you realize you can never be extraordinary in that. But every person I think must be good at one thing, and that one thing would be his life, but no one is good at everything. Impossible.

    But a person with an unhealthy-narcissism (an inflated ego) believes mistakenly he/she is good at EVERYTHING. So that's why they again mistakenly believe the only thing in their way of achieving everything is their low-self-esteem, so they in turn try to boast their confidence or self-esteem in order to be able to do EVERYTHING that they believe God has intended for them to do. But that is just a historical mistake, a religious mistake or misunderstanding the reality at hand. One should deal reality in order to survive, not illusions.

    Every person at best is good only in one thing, and bad at everything else. There could exist one who is bad at everything(though I doubt it), but there can NEVER be one who is good at EVERYTHING. Impossible. We only give that omnipotent attribute to God, not man. Mankind is weak, so he aims for more power, but up to a point. No one can have unlimited power.

  13. I love your thinking…my way of seeing this precisely….:-)

    • Frank says:

      Thank you.
      I wrote it when it was after midnight because I couldn’t sleep (sleeplessness happens to me a lot lately), but I know why I couldn’t sleep. The day before I had a heated argument with a female psychologist who believed that children should be taught and trained so they would believe without any doubt that they can do anything he/she wants. So I strongly disagree with her.

      I reasoned with her that if we pressure our kids to believe that then children feel so much in pressure, and too much pressure on children would backfire and lead them to the path of self-destruction.

      This nonsense was fed to us by narcissist media and parents have learnt from the media and blindly repeat it like parrots that “everything is possible”. No, everything is NOT possible; some things are possible for a person to do; some other things are IMPOSSIBLE to do.

      And beside, just because something is possible for me to do it; why should I do it automatically without thinking? We do things that we are excited about; we are never inclined to do things that we find boring and not exciting. But you excessively “positive” people believe that just because you can do it you should do it. No, we only do things we’re interested to do.

      So there is limit in the things that are possible for us to do, let alone those that are impossible to do, due to the physical and mental limitations.

      But she hated me for my way of thinking and angrily attacked me with her big frowns so her violent reaction to my free speech would scare me and I’d change my mind, otherwise she would mark me with all kinds of negative attributes so no one would listen to me any more. But I didn’t back off, and asserted my idea through, because I strongly believe it’s true. Prove me wrong, then I’d change my mind. You can’t threaten me to change my mind. No, you can’t get anything you want by violence. This what terrorists do. And if you do it the same way, you’re a violent, aggressive terrorist too.

      Then, I continued by more revealing how I think about her anger on me, and said the reason you hate my way of thinking is that you have PLANS to make sure your son or daughter to achieve the highest ranks in society, like the president or the highest leader with lots of money, power, and success. And in return you want to use your children’s future success would benefit you, to brag about them to your peers, etc. which this only means you’re using/abusing your children for you own selfish and narcissistic future plan for success, not theirs. So this is a child abuse on top of all the crimes you’re doing to your children and society. But you hate me to spoil your evil plan. But I think I should prevent parents like you to succeed with their evil plans, because you and your children are bad for the health of society.

      So I farther reasoned w/her why I hated her idea of thinking highly about yourself not only has no successful result for your children, but also it is extremely dangerous for civilization. I explained by boasting your child’s ego illusively too much and in vain(without seeing any actual talent or ability in them) would only lead to their falsely and dangerously to perceive their own self too highly (inflated-ego, vanity, narcissism), which usually such high-self-perception would only lead to violent behaviors by your children and when they become adults. Almost all violent criminals(mass murderers, rapists, etc.) they have inflated egos and think highly about themselves.

      In state prisons, if you visit (as I worked there as a guard for awhile) you’d see that every prison inmate is way, way narcissist and thinks highly about himself/herself. In fact, that’s why there are so many fights and violent attacks happen among inmates, because they all believe they deserve to dominate everyone in prison because they think they are “the best, strongest, smartest” etc. Not one inmate was humble or cooperative or democratic in his/her opinions and self-regard as I noticed. So thinking highly about yourself would only lead you to violent behaviors and your strong attempt to dominate others, which these aggressive behaviors would only lead to further destruction of your own life and the destruction of the lives of others who suffer because of your inflated-ego(your narcissism).

      So I believe one should be humble, if he wants to be civilized and non violent. To raise and train so many high-minded children with the biggest egos who believe everyone of them is the highest “gift” from God and even a bigger than God, and he/she is “perfect” and “flawless” in everything, THAT would only lead to a very dangerous situation to live and the future will be filled with so many violent adults that aggressively and violently destroy everything, because they can’t accept they too can be wrong or weak too.

      I’m afraid the future will nothing but a dark one, and only because today’s parents teach their children to think too highly about themselves(for their own selfish, greedy, narcissistic, and competitive intentions), while the result would be very, very dangerous and destructive for the future of civilization. Each year the age of violent criminals drops, and soon 5 or 6 year olds would burn the whole society down, because they’re not afraid of anyone and think they are Gods whom anything they do is “right” and no one should oppose them, as no one should oppose God, and God is always right, no matter what. This is way of thinking is way too dangerous to be internalized in these worthless children of today.

      In anyway we look at this bs that “everything is possible, only if you think highly about yourself you can do anything you want” is very destructive for the person himself/herself who has this inflated ego and destructive for the future of our civilization.

      A considerable amount of modest and humbleness is necessary for a peaceful society and the world affairs.

      The most destructive ones have always been the arrogant narcissists. They have even ruined our sense of humor and pleasure in everything we used to enjoyed, including our sex-lives are ruined by these worthless narcissists. The narcissists are destroying everything, including arts, science, comedy, our power of reasoning, etc.

      But parents (or authority figures) are to blame. Most of these crimes in society, I blame the parents for them, for raising such evil narcissist brats, who are as dumb as fruit fly and as talent-less as Kardashians.

      Also the reverse-racism among minorities these days have caused minorities to develop an unbelievable narcissism; their inflate their egos that are too high, too dangerously high, these days. They keep calling themselves as “God” or “the origin” of everything. That is why they the cult of worshipping their “celebrities” have driven them to a disgusting level of self-admiration of their races/ethnicities and has caused the daily extreme violent behaviors by the fans of their celebrities that if anyone talks differently than them about their talentless, worthless celebrities in the same light they do they would attack badly. But I still blame it all on the new-age parents and authority figures who started and flourished this cult of “high self-esteem”. It’s like an octopus that has many arms in all aspects and institutions of society.

      I don’t know my friend, I don’t know what else to say; i’m just too hurt and frustrated by all these ignorance and stupidity everywhere I go, by all these shortsightedness and simplemindedness, vanities, and narcissism among parents and many authority figures who are raising such violent kids that will be tomorrow’s adults who would destroy civilization for sure if we don’t wake them up and show the reality of their worthless existences.

      The future is dark. Do you think the religious leaders and political leaders are any different than these stupid parents who are raising evil narcissists people(narcissist evil robots) for the future? No, they are of the same bunch; they all come from the same basket of degenerated fruits. So that is why they always viciously attack mentalities like mine who oppose them, because they have selfish and narcissistic goals for themselves. But they don’ know that this is only headed to the destruction of civilization and themselves. I don’t care for them, but I care for civilization. It’s all we have to protect ourselves from going back to the lower form of existence that we all came from in the not so distant past.
      Maybe, nature is getting even with us; we’ve been to destructive to nature, and nature systematically is planting these self-destructive elements in the mind of narcissist humans so that human beings would soon cause their own extinction, but not by our military activities, but by the most dangerous weapon we humans have ever invented, NARCISSISM.

  14. John says:

    Good, perceptive article.
    Self esteem = a society of people growing up expecting to be worshipped as “gods”, replacing God. Creating a totally dehumanized society completely dysfunctional, where eventually the real humans must hide in order to worship the One True God, as this will seem completely strange to the rest of society. Leaving the true friends of God in great danger.

    Today I hear the phrase I love you more than ever. But yet there is far less love than there ever has been. People today have such high self esteem about themselves that when they say, I love you, it makes them feel good, not the other on the receiving end. It is a real sickness and it is malignant. I think people today are way to well adjusted to this sick society emerging right before out eyes.

  15. Frank says:

    @John,
    Thank you. You’re a good man. You care for your society.

  16. Harry Nelson says:

    Every word i read struck me hard, this is so very true, thanks so much. For the enlightenment

    • Frank says:

      @ Harry, You’re welcome my friend.

      You know, people think it’s not possible to go back to barbaric era, the era that we came from it several centuries ago, but I don’t think it’s impossible to happen; frighteningly my friend, it could easily reoccur again.

      Let’s do a fun game; let’s resurrect the spirits of the ordinary people in human history in our imaginations. Believe me, I can see them come back to life in my mind; can you? And when I do that I can feel their huge need for a change, and that must be the reason for our ancestors to abandoned their barbaric life conditions and work hard to live better, and lead their future generations to follow their path towards that better condition of life too. And we’ve achieved in a considerable degree today that better condition, and what we’re in now is the hope of our ancestors then(though there is always room for improvements). So the reason for them wanting to change then is easy for us to see now; it was their hatred for barbarism; their fear of it; their sufferings by it; the bloodsheds of their beloveds by it, etc.. So those shadowy people of history understood well how evil we human beings can become if we don’t build and manage a system of law, order, and education; they understood how evil and pointless barbaric life is. So they wrote it for us on the rocks of the mountains, so we won’t forget it today.

      Human mind is too easily forgetful, and sometimes too willfully forgetful. We just care for the pleasure of the impulsive moment now, so we purposely make ourselves forget the consequences of our past impulsiveness. Oh how tricky devils we humans are.

      But we today too still carry in our unchartered dark corners of our spirits/psyche the wounds and fears of our ancestors who suffered severely from their barbaric life conditions. If we think hard enough we can even see their frighten eyes, their hopeless faces and cuddles of their offspring, and we can even hear their cries and screams for help from their god. Their emotional sufferings still echo in our minds, pumping hearts, and dusty history books. After all, we are the flesh and blood of those men and women whom in history books we read almost nothing specifically about them (we read in human history books mainly about the greedy ruthless ruling families who only craved for more wealth and power NARCISSISTICALLY).

      But we can imagine the ordinary peoples of human history too; their images are not hard to summon in our imaginations, and when we do that, we can see they looked just like us (only w/different clothes); and they we’re just like us so venerable, so needy, so fearful, and so clinging to the ropes of their hopes. So they held each hands, cuddle each other hard, felt each others bodily warmth, relied on their love for each other, and appealed for help from higher sources of power in the universe, high in the heaven, where they believed their god resides and cares for them from above and help them through their barbaric condition.

      So they worked hard and wrote about their fears and sufferings, so unpretentiously simple for us to understand, in order for us the future generations to read their words and images, and remember them, because they hoped their marks on the rocks would help the truth not to be erased in the future, the truth of their harsh lives. They hoped that their written truth would develop a higher instinct in us, a higher understanding, consideration, and compassion in our hearts and psyche for our fellow human beings, so instead of us again live barbarically violently we work a little harder and try not to dominate, loot, and kill each other(by all kinds of self-justifications) and we try to live peacefully among ourselves.

      But today we’ve forgotten that historical truth and refuse to reread it, and the more we push for and promote the violence of our NARCISSIM, the closer we get to barbarism (again). Barbarism is the condition that there is no law and order, no higher mentalities, no peace, and vigilantes and violent bullies rule the land, and they take over and enslave the weaker ones for their selfish wants. We human beings in history have proved we are naturally inclined to rot from inside. So we should watch out for that rotten tendency in our own individual selves.

      Just think how much a little forgiveness, a little humbleness, a little peacefulness, and a little inhibition of our aggressive-impulses, would do for the future of a peaceful and hopeful life.

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