Majority of Americans Opposed to Freedom

A new poll shows that most Americans support being spied on by the government. I think that bears repeating: A majority of citizens are in favor of having their privacy, liberty, and 4th Amendment protections obliterated, because it makes them feel all safe and snuggly. Interestingly, a poll of Americans in 1773 finds that most of them would rather fight and die than pay a modest tax on beverages. How times have changed.

The same survey, when broken down across party lines, discovered that 64 percent of Democrats are pro-NSA surveillance. Now, this is probably just a crazy coincidence, but the same research firm found that 61 percent of Democrats were AGAINST surveillance when Bush was in office. Hmm. How might one explain the dramatic shift in opinion? It could just be that they came to their senses and realized how nice and cozy it is when Big Brother tracks your every movement. Or it could be that they’re a bunch of spineless disgraceful frauds who will gladly sacrifice their principles for the sake of party loyalty. Who knows.

No matter how you slice it, this is all quite depressing. It’s a stark reality, but one we might as well face. Most people don’t care about freedom all that much. They might claim they do, but in truth they won’t sacrifice a single thing for it. Not their safety, not their food stamps, not their free birth control. Nothing. These people would sell their soul to the devil for a McDonald’s coupon. We’ve become so obsessed with immediate and endless gratification that many of us will abandon our humanity to have it. That’s the truth, and I’m not exaggerating.

The Founding Fathers offered us freedom and we have officially declined. Here’s how the conversation went:

Founding Fathers: Hey guys, would you like some freedom?

Modern Society: Ooh sounds delicious. Can we eat it?

Founding Fathers: Uhh no. You can use it to be free from government intrusion into your–

Modern Society: We can use it to get free things from the government?!

Founding Fathers: No, dumbass. Listen. Not free THINGS, freeDOM. It’s not a material substance, it’s a state of being that allows you to live as God intended all men to live. It allows you to speak openly, to debate ideas without fear of repercussion, to make your own way in the world, to raise your children as you see fit, to own your successes and your failures, to be strong and sovereign individuals instead of serfs to the State. It’s a beautiful and spiritual—

Modern Society: Sorry, I lost you after “not free things.” Anyway, thanks but no thanks. I’ve got a TV, a bottle of pills, a couch and a bag of Doritos, I don’t need no stupid “freedom.” I’m content. Freedom isn’t as important now as it was to you guys back in the 1300s or whatever. Alright, gotta go, my show is coming on.

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