I Hate Tim Tebow!

“Tim Tebow has been picked up by the Patriots. Boo! I hate Tim Tebow! I mean, he is a clean cut, wholesome, well spoken, ambitious, hard working, Christian young man. What a jerk! Geez, Tim, why don’t you pick up a drug habit and a few illegitimate children if you want us to root for you. And drop the Jesus act, OK? You need to learn to flaunt your sex habits, not your faith. Have some damned decency. I mean, I just can’t stand all the hype around him! Which is why I’m talking about him right now! I think he’s so irrelevant, hence my continued discussion of his every movement! Please, everyone stop talking about the guy I keep talking about!

Plus, he’s not a very good football player. Sure, he’s had success at every level and even led a team to the playoffs, where he dismantled a top ranked defense before losing to the Patriots, but he sucks! He’s not a star of his sport. He’s no Jason Collins, that’s for sure. Anyway, it’s like my grandfather always said: “Character, talent and humility are evil and disgusting things — you should mock, deride, and ostracize anyone who possesses them.” Sure, grandpa was old school, but I still subscribe to those traditional values. Call me old fashioned. That’s why I hate Tim Tebow. By all accounts a good man and a good athlete, what’s not to hate?

Oh well, at least this gives me another receptacle for my immense amount of negative energy, as I will now spend the next season rooting for him to fail.” — A paraphrased quote from most of the people on the Internet right now.

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One Response to I Hate Tim Tebow!

  1. rookswriter says:

    This just made my day.

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