Monthly Archives: May 2013

Your kid is crazy, now give me a billion dollars

A new CDC report claims that one in five kids have a mental disorder. That’s right, 20 percent of the children in this country are psychologically diseased, so says the government. And on a totally unrelated note, the proliferation of … Continue reading

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Umbrella-gate

People are criticizing Obama today because he forced a Marine to stand there in Dress Blues and hold his umbrella for him during a press conference. I’ve heard Obama supporters react with exasperation at the criticism. “Give the guy a … Continue reading

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Real Americans hate spiders

Life is full of scary moments, but few more terrifying than seeing a spider on the ceiling when you’re in the shower. You’re vulnerable, exposed, at its mercy. You know you can’t kill the spider in your current state. You … Continue reading

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Hey, did you guys hear about this IRS thing?

Wow, did you guys hear about this? Color me flabbergasted because I just can’t believe what’s going on. First some background: There is this thing called the IRS. It is a government agency, and their job is to forcibly confiscate … Continue reading

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Public displays of obsession

When trying to determine the guidelines for what is and is not an acceptable form of PDA (public display of affection), always remember that the issue does not hinge on the act itself, but rather the location and context of … Continue reading

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You made your own bed, AP

Yeah, I’m not happy that the government illegally tapped the phone records of the Associated Press. It’s yet another clear violation of essential civil liberties. But, sorry media, I can’t really take you seriously when you’re all of the sudden … Continue reading

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They don’t have my size, CALL THE PRESS

Ok, now people are going to accuse me of defending Abercrombie and Fitch and their jerk of an owner. Let me say ahead of time that I am doing no such thing. All I’m trying to say is that this … Continue reading

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When the music is on, your mouth is not

You know when you’re in your car, and you’ve got the windows down, and you’ve got your favorite music pumping, and you get into this zone where, even though you have stresses and miseries in your life same as anyone … Continue reading

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Let’s examine how we define “alcohol related”

The National Transportation Safety Board has recommended that all 50 states lower the blood-alcohol limit for “drunk driving” to .05. They say this move will really help raise more money for – Uh, I mean it will “make people safer.” … Continue reading

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Don’t worry about the tyranny around the corner

During a recent commencement speech, Obama told the graduating students: “They warn that tyranny is always lurking just around the corner. You should reject these voices.” This is, of course, a fantastic message for the future leaders of America. Not … Continue reading

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