We are well aware

Obama has proclaimed April to be “National Financial Capability Month”. Obama said, in part: “Together, we can prepare young people to tackle financial challenges — learning how to budget responsibly… My Administration continues to encourage responsibility at all levels of our financial system.”

OK. Three things here.

1) Barack, bro, are you serious? Did you even write that with a straight face?

2) The government lecturing us about financial responsibility is, obviously, unbelievably hypocritical.

I mean, it’s like if our government — which is run by adulterating, fornicating politicians — lectured our kids about sexual responsibility in State mandated sex ed classes. Oh, wait…

It’s like if our government — which funnels guns to drug cartels and Islamic militants — lectured its citizens about gun safety. Oh, wait…

It’s like if our government — which has selfishly bankrupted 5 generations of Americans while enriching itself — lectured us about being charitable and giving our fair share. Oh, wait…

It’s like if our government — which bankrolls abortion clinics and drone bombs civilian villages — lectured us about being compassionate towards the children of illegal immigrants. Oh, wait…

It’s like if… Well, you get the idea.

3) How many themes can you really stuff into one month? April is already Alcohol Awareness Month, Autism Awareness Month, Boost Your Hometown Month, Cancer Control Month, Foot Health Awareness Month, Humor Month, Keep America Beautiful Month, Listening Awareness Month, Mathematics Education Month, National Anxiety Month, National Garden Month, National Sexually Transmitted Disease Education & Awareness Month, National TMJ Awareness Month, Parkinson’s Awareness Month, and Stress Awareness Month.

Hey, everyone, WE GET IT. We are aware. We are totally and absolutely aware. We are aware of everything. I’m so aware I can’t sleep at night. In fact, if anything, we’re too aware. There’s so many crusades, causes, and campaigns that I have to keep a day planner just to schedule what hours I’ll devote to worrying about which disease, addiction, or travesty. I wish all of the Awareness Raisers would become aware of the fact that a lack of awareness isn’t the problem. Sure, tons of people have herpes, but it’s not because they aren’t AWARE of what it is and how you get it. They’re aware, they just didn’t give much of a crap. It’s not a lack of information that plagues society, it’s a lack of WISDOM and DISCIPLINE. Can your raise either of those with a brochure and a Facebook meme?

I have an idea. April should be, you know, April. And if you care immensely about foot health or recycling, feel free to go and preach your message. But you don’t get to claim a whole month to yourself. The calendar owns those months. You can’t go stealing them willy nilly. Have some respect.

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3 Responses to We are well aware

  1. David Small says:

    Matt, I love reading your blog. You’re one of the funniest writers on this here Internet thingie, and I make time to read your blog.
    Your review of The Miserables, or whatever the hell it was called, is right up there with P.J. O’Rourke in funny levels. That’s high prase indeed.
    Take care, and write more as the muse takes you,
    David Small

  2. I’m so glad I found this blog. Love it.

  3. Catherine says:

    Hey you forgot one! Just read in the paper that April is also National Distracted Driving Awareness Month.

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