Dear People Who Leave Their Shopping Carts in the Middle of the Parking Lot,
I don’t mean to trouble you. Obviously you’re very busy. I mean, you had time to get a load of groceries but you simply can’t afford to spare the extra 45 seconds to deliver the carts back to the corrals positioned strategically throughout the parking lot. Or, God forbid, if there aren’t any corrals, you certainly can’t …devote a solid, what, like one minute to escorting the thing back to the front of the store. I get it. In fact, I understand.
I understand because I assume you are a bomb squad technician and right as you unloaded the last bag into your trunk you got a call saying an explosive device was about to detonate and take out a large bridge during rush hour unless you made it there in time to defuse the bomb and save 1000 people from a hideously painful death. That would be a fine excuse to leave your cart there and drive off.
But, the thing is, every time I go to the grocery store I see a whole lot of carts rolling errantly around the parking lot. Including the one that would have smashed into my vehicle this evening, if not for my quick and decisive maneuvering. Something tells me there aren’t that many bomb technicians working for the FBI. And I certainly hope there aren’t that many bridges about to be blown up everyday.
So my powers of deduction lead me to the conclusion that most of you are just unforgivably lazy and inconsiderate numbskulls. When faced with the choice of taking a fraction of a minute to return the cart to a secure location, or saving the energy and risking the very likely possibility that your cart rolls off and damages someone else’s car, you choose the latter. I assume you’re the same person who would rather run a red light and risk t-boning a minivan full of kids than wait 3 minutes for the green and possibly save a few lives in the process.
You clearly are under the false impression that wherever you’re going, the people there want to see you. Trust me, they don’t. So take your time. Put the cart back. Wait for green. Hold the door.
Just give it a try. It’s not as hard as you think. Plus, if I catch you leaving your cart, I will take it, put it in my trunk, follow you to your house, soak the cart in gasoline, fill it with dog crap, light it on fire and roll it into your living room.
You’ve left me with no other options