I’m Having Kids So I’m Buying a Gun

Here’s an email I received from an anonymous wimp this morning:

“Matt, you are bringing two children into a world that is dangerous enough. They don’t need their own home to be a death trap. You said you have a gun in your house. How could you keep something like that within the vicinity of CHILDREN? What if they get their hands on it? What then? All of your love for the second amendment will go out the window, that’s what. Your gun crazy rants are too much to take. You are a reckless radio host and now you will be a reckless father. Fool. With any luck you’ll be fired before your children are born.”

You gotta love the faceless cowards. They’ll never come up to you in public, look you in the eye like a man and make these personal attacks. No, they sit behind their keyboards like sniveling little weaklings and pass their absurd judgments as they wish all sorts of bad things upon you and your family. I’m used to it by now. It comes with the territory. I just hope that one day God will grant me my wish of a face to face with one of these bloated trolls. But I’m sure he won’t, for the troll’s sake.

For the record, I never said I own a gun because, in fact, I don’t own a gun. But now that I will have not only my wife but two babies in my home, I most certainly will go out and purchase a firearm soon. Despite the crazed blabberings of guys like the one above, who likely are not married, have no children and therefore are not called to protect anything but their own nothing of an existence, the reality is that I have a responsibility to possess the means to defend my family. I am going to buy a gun because it is not just my right but my duty. I am going to buy a gun because there are bad people out there who do bad things. You can hide under your bed and pretend it’s all imaginary if you want. And, incidentally, if you do not own a weapon that may be your only option if ever one of these bad people decide to come to your house and introduce themselves. Never going to happen, you think? You ever watch the news? Read a newspaper? Open your eyes? Use your brain? No on all counts, I guess. If anything, it’s reckless to NOT own a gun when you have kids. I can not conceive of being a position where I need to protect my family and I am unable because I was too lazy or too scared or too shortsighted to buy a gun and learn how to use it. 

As for keeping the gun away from my kids, I think I can handle that task. In fact, if you can’t figure out how to keep potentially dangerous items away from babies, you probably shouldn’t be conceiving them in the first place. It’s not that hard, is it? I’m sure if I rack my brain I can figure out a way to outwit a one year old. And even the “gun free” homes are not, presumably, free of bleach, chemicals, prescription pills, bath tubs, electrical sockets, cords hanging from the blinds and tall bookcases. All of these things can not only kill a child but are more likely to kill a child than daddy’s gun. 

And then when my children are of age I’ll teach them how to safely and properly handle a weapon. I’ll teach them responsibility and discipline. In other words I’ll be a — what do they call it, again? — oh yeah, parent. Sure, that might be easier said than done but if I’m taking on the job I intend to fully carry out the duties that come with it. And I don’t think you’re doing your job if the only gun lesson you ever pass on to your kids is, “EVIL! BAD! STAY AWAY! PAIN! DEATH! SCARY!” That might work for toddlers but your “gun safety” curriculum has to mature if you expect your kids to do the same. I know we live in a society that generally treats kids like babies, teenagers like kids and adults like teenagers, but I won’t be following the culture’s lead on that. Or on anything else, for that matter.

Anyway, thanks for the email.


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3 Responses to I’m Having Kids So I’m Buying a Gun

  1. grannymom says:

    I have been reading your blog this morning and having a blast! The men in my family will completely agree with your assessment of “Les Mis”. They have dug in their heels and refused to accompany me to see that one.

    At any rate, I am a Granny and my dad passed away in 1998. I helped clean out his closet. About three feet from his side of the bed, tucked in the corner, were TWO guns. In the bedside table drawer, right beside his bed, were bullets. My dad was born in 1929, and he knew the responsibility a father had to protect his family. He taught us how to fire a .22 when we were kids. It was something he thought everyone should know. I have fond memories of going out to the gravel pit just outside of town, and shooting at pop cans.

    In all of his years, my father never threatened another person with a gun. He certainly killed a few varmints (rabid skunks), but most people didn’t know he had guns in the house. We lived through the FLQ crisis in Quebec in 1970, and my father sent his family away from the small French town we lived in. I know shots were fired in the town that night, but I have no idea if my dad used his gun. He never spoke about it. He chose the most intelligent route – send the family away from town if people are in a mob mentality. In other words, just because you have a gun, doesn’t mean you need to use it. It is there, in the bedroom closet, just in case.

    It made me feel safe.

  2. juliamadrazo1 says:

    My husband is a pacificist. But when we found out 3 years ago that were were having a girl he told me outright, “I’m getting a gun. If we’re having a girl I’ll have my work cut out for me and I’ll need a gun.”
    Now he tells me he intends to teach my daughter how to use a gun once she’ll old enough to be allowed in a gun range. Why? “I want my daughter to know how to defend herself and the people she loves.”
    I personally don’t like guns but I understand and respect my husband’s concerns. And I admit I’d feel comfortable if I knew my husband and daughter knew how to use a gun as opposed to accidentally firing it and hurting themselves or other people.

  3. Cylar says:

    Very, VERY well spoken sir.

    May I make a suggestion? In addition to simply purchasing a weapon and keeping it in your home to protect your family from intruders…I also suggest you look into obtaining a concealed-carry permit. In your state of Kentucky, this should be a relatively simple matter. Kentucky, like 38 other states in the Union, is a shall-issue state. That means your local sheriff is required to grant the permit as long as you can pay the fee, pass a background check, and complete the training.

    I won’t get into the silliness of needing a fee, background check, and training in a country that has a 2nd Amendment; for the time being the law is the law. What I’m placing my emphasis on is this: Have the means to protect yourself and your family ALL THE TIME, not just when you’re at home. Get the handgun, get some ammo, LEARN TO HANDLE IT capably and safely…get your CCW procedures handled, and for the love of Sam Houston…PACK IT everywhere you go so you’re always ready and prepared to handle any situation and any threat.

    One more thing: For in-home defense, I recommend not a handgun, but a short-barrel, high-capacity, pump action 12-gauge shotgun. I think every homeowner and renter needs one of these. It’s powerful enough to kill any burglar, the pellets won’t penetrate walls (no friendly fire casualties), and you barely have to aim. Just point and click.

    Buy a safe and keep your weaponry locked-up so your kids (and burglars who strike while you’re away from home) can’t get to it.

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