Les Miserables Taught Me How to Hate Again

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Last night I went to a showing of Les Miserables. And when I say “went to” I mean “hogtied and dragged at gun point by my wife, her sister and her mom”. By the looks of many of the other men in that crowded overheated theater, I was not the only hostage victim in attendance. In fact I saw one dude commit Hara-kiri while shouting “death before dishonor” in the parking lot prior to the screening. At first I thought he was slightly overreacting. And then the movie started.

I have to say, after watching the entire film, it was actually a thousand times worse than I could have imagined. Les Miserables will stand forever as the most miserable cinematic experience I’ve ever suffered through. And this is coming from a guy who saw “Christmas with the Kranks” in theaters, so that should tell you something.

Let me run through a few points about this excruciating horror show for anyone, especially any man, who has not yet been forced to endure it.

Les Miserables apparently holds the Guinness world record for longest musical about a minor parole violation. It tells the utterly pointless tale of an ex-con as he tries to elude a bumbling parole officer for 20 years. This is also, it should be mentioned, the first film to show two decades pass by in real time. So if you’re heading to the theater tonight make sure to pack a change of clothes. My wife told me afterward that the movie, despite its torturous running time, actually CUT OUT several scenes from the original play. Too bad they didn’t cut out more scenes. Like every scene. Of course it didn’t have to be that long. Hugh Jackman, the criminal guy, could have just, you know, MOVED OUT OF THE FREAKING CITY IF HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE CAUGHT. Instead this whole game of cat-and-mouse between Jackman and Russell Crowe takes place in one neighborhood. The dumbest criminal of the millennium vs. a law enforcement officer that makes every Leslie Nielsen character look like Sherlock Holmes in comparison.

Oh. But it gets worse. Much worse. They sing. Dear God do they sing. They sing EVERYTHING. Look, I know it’s a musical. I get it. I’ve seen Fiddler on the Roof and The Sound of Music and West Side Story. They sing in those films/plays also. But then they break up the musical numbers with normal dialogue. But that’s just too simple and not nearly irritating enough, according to the maniac who wrote this tornado of crap. Every single line in the movie is sung. It doesn’t matter how pedestrian the dialogue, they have to put it to music: “Pass the salt”, “Hang on I gotta take a leak”, etc. All put to song. My sister-in-law cried throughout the whole movie. I cried tears of blissful joy when Russell Crowe threw himself off a bridge at the end because it meant he’d finally stop singing. BUT EVEN THAT DIDN’T STOP HIM. All the dead people had to come back before the credits for one last encore. By the way, Crowe, you’re the guy who played the gladiator but now you will live in infamy as the most awkward casting decision in Hollywood history. You reminded me of someone’s dad who was tossed into the school play at the last minute after his son came down with laryngitis on opening night.

But let’s talk about the “big” musical numbers. You don’t need to buy the soundtrack. I’ll sum up every song in the movie. Here you go: “I’m so lonely, I’m so alone, look at me my life is hard, I’m alone, I’m on my own, there’s this empty chair here, it’s empty because I’m alone, I’m lonely, all this bad stuff has happened to me because of my inexcusably stupid life choices, I’m alone, I feel so alone, on my own, on my own, on my own, did I mention I’m on my oooooowwwwwn?”

Not a dry eye in the house after we heard that one. For the 40th time.

Vapid, shallow, predictable, self indulgent and emotionally manipulative. “BUT IT’S A CLASSIC!” No. No it’s not. Who cares if the play has been around for a while? Malaria has been around for a while. Just because something is old doesn’t make it a “classic”.

And I haven’t even mentioned the fact that half the characters in this flick– which is set in France — have an inexplicable limey British chimney sweep accent. That would make sense for Mary Poppins but not this. Incidentally THAT’S a musical I’d sooner watch 5 times in a row before being subjected to another 3 minutes of Les Miserables.

Then, two thirds of the way through the movie, we get the obligatory tragic love story. Here’s how it goes: a young French revolutionary spots a blonde chick across the street. The two lock eyes and literally THAT NIGHT the dumb desperate loser is singing about how he’d “die for her”. Really? And I’m supposed to become psychologically invested in a plot device that has just reduced the beauty, joy, pain and sacrifice of romantic love to something you can catch like a cold or fall into like a puddle? I know Hollywood has been peddling that nonsense for ages but this was simply too much to cope with.

To make matters worse we’re all supposed to be super impressed because the songs (and by “songs” I mean “every single word uttered during the course of the entire picture”) are performed live instead of being recorded in a studio and dubbed into the film. “GEE WOW I’M SO ENAMORED WITH YOUR ARTISTIC INTEGRITY”. Is that the reaction I’m supposed to have? I don’t know because my initial reaction was something like “Man, this sounds awful”. Instead of lip syncing pre-recorded songs, the actors sputtered out of key while choking back tears and gasping for breath. It was like listening to someone sing karaoke while being chased by a swarm of African killer bees. Coincidentally, that is the actual premise of a reality show on TruTV. Except that show likely has more depth and intelligence. I don’t care if the “let’s do it live” move was “revolutionary”. Not all revolutions are good. Just ask France.

I could go on. But I won’t. I hated Les Miserables with a violent passion. Let’s leave it at that.

And at this: my wife now has to watch four mob movies, three war movies and two History Channel documentaries with me.

That’s the exchange rate.

Sorry, honey, I don’t make the rules. But I will enforce them.

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914 Responses to Les Miserables Taught Me How to Hate Again

  1. frank gummage says:

    what a load of moaners

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      Yeah, moaners. The ones who complain and moan are really terrible, like the ones who were tortured on the rack in the inquisition. They just should have had their skulls bashed and fingernails torn out without a word. How selfish to moan about it!

  2. Nicymouse says:

    You are soooo right! I love musicals and musical films like Chicago, Nine or Sweeney Todd. But this was just way too much for me. No dialogues at all, how the hell do people endure that? The story is great btw, it’s much more complex and exciting but it’s just not the right plot to turn into a musical. Jeeez all this suffering was driving me crazy! Almost everyone overacting like they were on stage while having close-ups. And Eddie Redmayne is the worst choice to play Marius, I mean all the girls are supposed to fall in love with him! But helloooo??? Eddie Redmayne a hot guy? And helloooo? He’s supposed to be French? (preferably dark hair and dark eyes) and he’s soooo British and sooo NOT sexy!
    I’ve never really taken the Academy Awards seriously but if Les Miserables gets more than one Oscar I’ll laugh out loud.

    • glamity58 says:

      Send this to Cameron Mackintosh and you’ll be on his bad list forever. I totally agree with you, but mostly because I was livid at the selection of Russell Crowe. One of my favorite singers Adam Lambert complained about some non-singers (just like I did), not all of them, just a couple and he was chastized all over the media. I love Les Mis on stage, and I like the film because I’m a die hard musical fan. But putting in a few bad singers upset me. I won’t buy the soundtrack. Hathaway was great and should get an Oscar.

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  4. nina s. says:

    i saw Les Miserables today … with 5 friends, in the Oscar Showcase in NYC. I knew early on that it was going to be a let down. A ridiculous amount of singing … and we were on row 4 of a very crowded theatre so it was way to loud for our ears. Sweet relief came in the form of sleep – I was already sleepy anyhow – and I managed to knock out 20 minutes of the movie by zonking out.

    Anyone can see it was a grand and expensive gesture, a Herculean task of high art. BUT … oh, God, the incessant bad singing. Singing every line. EVERY LINE? WTF??? Who signed off on THAT and does that person still, um, have a job. Sersiously, this was a Tree Of Life moment last year in the Oscar Showcase theatre when there was a audible sigh of relief when Malick’s film went to black. You just wanted to go home and take a show and ask your psychiatrist if time travel hypnosis is possible in order to go back to the time before you saw either of these films … everybody needs a second chance to do the right (least painful) thing.

  5. Christina says:

    It sounds like it wasn’t the “movie” that you didn’t like. You didn’t like the musical. The film is based on the Broadway musical, tells the exact same story as the Broadway musical and stays true to the music (ie. there is no dialogue in the Broadway musical either – and this is not uncommon. There’s no dialogue in the Phantom of the Opera, Miss Saigon, Evita, etc. A lot of musicals are without dialogue). So, this isn’t really a critique of the film, it’s a critique of the musical which you clearly didn’t like (and that’s fine; to each his own). Whether the story and music is your cup of tea or not, as far as the quality of the acting and the technical elements of the film, such as art direction, cinematography, editing, etc. the film is a masterpiece, which is why it is so critically acclaimed and receiving numerous nods during this awards season.

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      OMG! “…as far as the quality of the acting and the technical elements of the film… the film is a masterpiece.” OH REALLY???? (See my own reply below for details.) The editing and directing were howlingly awful. I felt as if I were stuck in a waring blender for the entire film.

      • sallyvee says:

        Bob, you’re a hater. But an articulate one and prolly accurate, I concede.

        Dealing with Les Miz is like dealing with the fact of Obama. As President. Of the free world. Don’t make no sense honey, but it sure feeeeeeeels good to lots of folks.

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  9. bfirthy says:

    I too was forced through this painful experience, the only thing you missed was the appalling glossy ‘Hollywood’ sets representing some ‘imagined’ Paris, and the fact that in that era ‘large’ women were considered beautiful. But hey that’s only history let’s forget all that stuff and just sing, grrrrrrrr

  10. komradjabroni says:

    To hate this movie is to prove you have no heart or soul.

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      To LOVE this movie is to prove one merely has an ersatz heart and shallow soul. This incompetently directed mess is prepackaged slop aiming to produce tears in anxious viewers who don’t really know what deep, profoundly moving art is all about. And I wasn’t dragged to this pretentious bilge; I willingly led myself to the slaughter. What I got for it: The most ‘miserable’ film experience in many a year.

  11. Robert Blenheim says:

    Tom Hooper’s movie of “Les Miserables” is by far the biggest disappointment of the year and, in fact, one of the year’s worst films. It wouldn’t have been this way if the worthy project had been given to a different director.

    The original stage musical has been justifiably loved by many and won many awards in its various languages. Though flawed by its paucity of melodic creativity (there seems to be one song that keeps reappearing throughout with small variations) and a tendency toward over-bloating the material (Javert dies not from an ignominious death in a canal but a leap from a height that rivals the top of Mount Everest), the original musical was a masterpiece of adaptation from the Victor Hugo novel.

    The movie captures that accurately and perhaps beautifully but the beloved property has been undermined and eventually destroyed by the most incoherent and pedestrian film direction I’ve witnessed in at least a decade. In short, the film is a mess due to Tom Hooper’s insistence of dizzying, relentless close-ups of grotesque singing faces spasmodically darting about, and his total inability to place two or three people into an organized and meaningful composed shot. Establishing shots are completely absent, and no attention seems paid to any visual relationships between characters, the organizing of which is a prerequisite for any director.

    One searches in vain for any intelligent use of space here, as Hooper haphazardly frames faces off-center, too high or too low, as if a child or a disabled grandparent inadvertently picked up the camera and aimed it without being able to see its image through the viewfinder.

    In the hands of a competent director a simple conversation (or a duet) between two lovers can be a thing of significance and beauty in which we experience one lover declaring love at the same time we experience the reactions of the other lover simply listening, but here all we get is one face at a time repeatedly shoved into our mugs in an assault as if an out-of-control jack-in-the-box puppet is out to get us. This is no way to convey the subtlety or sensitivity of a marvelous property like this epic musical. It only remains to see if the aficionados of the original have the good sense (and the imagination) to realize what this film could have been — and how much they’ve been short-changed as well as dishonored.

    Sorry this functions as a mere footnote, but a word needs to be said about the singing. In essence, some are inadequate for the task (Crowe’s weakness bothers me less than Jackman’s irritatingly uncontrollable vibrato) but a few are marvelous (like Samantha Barks and David Heddlestone). However, it is truly Anne Hathaway’s earnestness and heart-felt singing that towers over the rest of the movie and will surely garner her an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.

    And in the future I can only hope that any project I value doesn’t fall into the bungling hands of Mr. Hooper!

    • sallyvee says:

      Bobby Bobby Bobby. Too many syllables, not enough scotch. You need a good cry!

      • Robert Blenheim says:

        I’ve had a few profoundly moving cries lately. Ang Lee’s film of “Life of Pi” did it. So did Michael Haneke’s “Amour”. “Les Miz” gave me heartburn and a desire to give up film. Thankfully, I didn’t, and proceeded to see competent films, for the most part, thereafter.

        (And what the heck did you bring in Obama above? If I read you right, you need to cry at some of the realistic things in the world, not ersatz crap like “Les Miz”. Like what the right wing miscreants are doing to the middle class. That deserves tears, not the self-indulgent waterworks by Hathaway & Company!)

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  13. sallyvee says:

    I loved the movie. I blubbered through the whole thing. Hugh Jackman is not gay and I adore him.

    I loved the Matt Walsh review, except that Matt forgot to apply his scalpel to Sascha Baron Cohen. Next time nail him Matt. To a cross!

    Anne Hathaway wears vegan shoes but I loved her in this movie. Mercifully, her role was brief. But sooooooo dramatic. And life changing. And Oscar inducing.

    I can laugh at myself and cry at Les Miz. It’s my right as an American citizen!

    Also Matt, I keep this video on my iPhone for whenever I’m feeling fat, middle aged, and useless. It’s Susan Boyle performing Les Miz on Britain’s Got Talent.

    Yes I kid you not, this is my favorite thing in the last decade:

  14. Sylvia says:

    Well you people should just think about this, at least these actors/actresses have gone out and done something with their lives. They’re getting rich and famous while you losers are sitting home writing bad reviews about them, if anyone wants to comment about how I’m sitting home doing nothing too, I know I have no life so I don’t really care… But these people are brave enough to try and I’m sure all of you would be soo fantastic singing in this movie..

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      If you’re not being sarcastic (and, if you are, LOFL!!!!), this is the lamest, most desperate, and unbelievable (if admittedly original) example of ad hominem fallacious arguing I’ve come across in my entire life. We’re not only wrong, we’re losers!!!!! And then (even more ‘cleverly’) you try to innoculate yourself from our defense by saying you have ‘no life’ also!!!!

      I won’t buy it. Again, if you’re not being sarcastic (reprise of LOFL!) some of us can actually walk and chew gum, at the same time or, at least, sequentially. Some of these denigrations might very well be written by professional singers, bank presidents, successful politicians or even Donald Trump. Who knows? Maybe I’m Mahatma Gandhi.

      Hey, who cares? Even a poor meathead can be right on this. As Matt Walsh certainly is in his absolutely accurate review.

  15. Mad reader says:

    This is a horrible review! I am sorry, but you are either to dense, or insensitive to comprehend this movie. One example of this would be your line “WHY DIDN’T HE LEAVE THE FREAKING CITY!?” He did. That clearly exemplifies ONE of your misconceptions. I do not judge you for your opinion… Some of us are closer to our homohabilous cousins than others….

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      ‘Homohabilous’? Not in any dictionary I can find, and I’m a writer — not even in the complete Oxford English Dictionary. ‘Homo’ might mean ‘one’, but habilous? HUH?

      Hey, maybe this is why you don’t comprehend Mr. Walsh’s review! Too many freakin’ homohabilouses!

      • Travis says:

        He obviously means homo habilis. Maybe if you stop being a smart-ass you might be able to figure it out….

        • Robert Blenheim says:

          Travis’s definition of ‘nonsense’ and ‘abuse’ = he disagrees with what one says.
          His definition of ‘smart-ass’ = One who articulates one’s opinion intelligently.

          Notice who falls back on calling one names like ‘smart-ass’. That seems to me a rather abusive personality.

          Next case…

  16. Rita Winters says:

    Oh, my holy f*ck. I am currently watching this on cable’s On Demand. Why can’t I just turn it off? I don’t know. I guess I’m one of those thinking it’s got to get better or since I paid for it I should watch it. I’m obviously a gluten for punishment.

    The singing….it’s terrible. And like others have said, they sing EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING and it all sounds the same – TERRIBLE.

    OMG, this is such a bad movie. Why did this win awards?

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      It IS terrible. It won a few Oscars because they were technical awards (with the exception of Anne Hathaway’s). For example, its award for Set Design was because of the money spent in building the sets and they were fantastic. I guess it doesn’t matter that the director destroyed our viewing these sets from his godawful direction.

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  18. mackenzie says:

    I really did love this movie, but I can totally see where you’re coming from. I didn’t see the musical before seeing the movie and was pleasantly surprised with it. Although, it was a bit long I have to be honest, but regardless I loved every minute. The acting was in my opinion top-notch and even though the singing wasn’t ‘amazing’ by any standards it was indeed emotional and every note that was sung actually pulled on my heart strings. From the boys at the barricade to the urchins in street and everywhere in between. Though there was one part I couldn’t stand and that was the underdeveloped relationship between Cosette and Marius. It was shallow, dull and made me cringe every time they were on screen together, but besides that I give this movie a 5/5. A definite ‘must see’ if you’re a musical fan (Which I am so my opinion is obviously biased Haha.)

  19. Valerie says:

    I enjoyed Les Mis, but you’re freaking hilarious. Good Job.

  20. Leslie says:

    I laughed so hard at this review, I had to stop reading several times to wipe tears from my eyes! I didn’t see the movie because I thought the trailers looked awful. I have seen the play on stage and didn’t care for it much, so I had no interest. It seems you either love this movie or really hate it. The only part I may have liked is seeing Russell Crowe jump off a bridge and presumably die, because I think he’s a terrible actor who has gotten more attention than he is worth. You made me glad I didn’t waste the time or money to see it. Again, Thanks for the belly laugh!

    • Tom Way says:

      You really need to find a free way to watch the movie. Make sure you have something else to do at the same time… like drink heavily. Matt’s piece is that much funnier if you’ve seen the film.

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  22. djk says:

    lets get this short, this review is 1000 times better than the actual movie :))))

  23. Travis says:

    Ok, i understand that these types of movie/musicals aren’t everyones cup of tea, but there is no need to write nonsense and abuse everyone that was involved in the making of this moving. I would like to see all the people with abusive and negative comments(that includes the original blog) do a better job on making a film, or, writing a story, or singing like the performers did, and then you see how easy it is.

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      Of course, Travis, you understand these things because you, yourself, actually made many films and have lots of experience in filmmaking. You are clearly superior and have all the rights afforded the aristocrat to call lowly us giving sincere opinions as ‘nonsense’ and ‘abuse’.

      Hey, I spent my life studying film, teaching it, even six years of filmmaking (on an amateur level, okay) and working for a short time in a film studio. Truly amateurville, okay, even if I did get paid.

      But, hey, why am I responding thusly? Even THAT doesn’t make one more ‘correct’! I don’t care if you’re a reincarnated Stanley Kubrick or a grandson of Carl Dreyer, that’s no way to condemn our opinions as ‘nonsense’!

      God, so much ad hominem at work here!

      Listen, as far as myself, if you look above you’ll see that I articulate clearly what’s deficient in the direction of the film. I explained in detail my reasons. Okay, maybe you love the film anyway. Fine. But this should be about explaining the rationale for our personal opinions or our honest responses, NOT saying “Hey, you who disagree with me, you spout nonsense and haven’t made movies yourself!”

      Let’s get down to earth. Again, like so many times I say to your ilk: Mr. Travis, Why do you think this is a good film? Let us in on all your film experience which should enlighten us considerably!!!!

  24. LE LIZ says:

    Hollywood seems to have turned into a casting soap opera, they just keep using the same faces over and over again in different films. I thought Les Miz would be a career breaker for most of these people, but no! they’re casting them again!
    I actually enjoyed Russell Crowe’s sort of Rockish singing style, but
    ten minutes of this film sent me running to call my psychiatrist, “Ptlmsd!”, he cried.
    The close up of Anne Hathaways teeth had me traumatized!

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  30. Your mother says:

    Untrue. All of it. It’s a perfect in every way musical. The singing through tears only helps the show as it makes it more real. While SOME songs yes are about loneliness, the overall idea and theme of the musical is grace, hope, and forgiveness. And by the way, dream killer, there is such a thing as love at first sight..

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      Untrue? UNTRUE???? IT’S AN OPINION, YOU #%%$%#!

      Perfect? PERFECT??? If it were perfect there wouldn’t be so many intelligent film fans pointing out the cornucopia of incompetences and stupidities in this dreadful film!!!!

      What you call the ‘overall idea’ is destroyed by TERRIBLE DIRECTION — Something that, if everything else were ‘perfect’, would be enough to show IT AIN’T!

      Hey, my mom liked musicals. She would’ve HATED this one.

      You’re definitely NOT my mother!

  31. Nancy says:

    Thank you, Thank you, thank you for speaking your own opinion of that horrendous travesty
    of a play. ITH as the appropriate name, as well. Years ago my mother and I saw it on Broadway.
    At the end, which was a relief we just looked at one another. A theater goer sitting next to me
    asked in an astounded tone of voice-“Did you see anything in this”? (a rhetorical question).
    It was worse than “The English patient”! I’m ashamed to admit that it was too looooooooooooooog
    a death.

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      Nancy, thank YOU for your response to Matt’s courageous article because, not only do I hate this film, but I hated “The English Patient” as well — an interminable and boring soap opera that became overrated to the insane level from what must have been mass hysteria when it won all the Oscars it won that year.

      However, I feel hesitant to mention this because already I’m in ‘hot water’ to the misguided souls who think “Les Miz” is a work of brilliance. Both films deserve ignominy and complete obscurity which, unfortunately, will not happen for a few years anyway.

      Okay, to some this is more evidence I’m a ‘hater’ but, truth is, we who react so strongly against ersatz art like this garbage do so out of great love for the authentic works that actually do attain a level of true art.

      So many works deserving of love — so little time to waste on posturing trash.

  32. Brandon R says:

    I made it to the “I’m crying because I’m alone and I’m a bald prostitute in a broken boat” song. I’ve never felt such rage build up inside me. If that wasn’t enough why do they film it so you feel like they’re sing/saying with their face bleeding 2 inches from your face at all times?

    I started watching with my wife as well. Our night went like this:
    Movie starts in utter silence. We check to see if audio is broken. Nope Just starts weird.
    They sing “I’m a slave! Always a slave! Now I’m not a slave!”, I think it’s strange.
    Sad people sing about being poor or something. I begin to realize these people are really hard to understand.
    Some women sing in a shop and throw someone out in the street. Have no Idea what they’re saying but begin to get irritated.
    There’s pretty much constant crying from here on. People sing incoherently at anusually close proximity to the screen. I became uncomfortable.
    A man gets scraped. Someone gets raped. I get fed up and go get something to eat.
    I come back. A lady is beaten up, bald, and howling in my face in some kind of pirate ship FOREVER. My wife and I rage quit.

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  34. mslesliehamm says:

    I actually only found this review because I was googling whether anyone had noticed the big, distracting picture of an eye during one of Hugh Jackman’s final songs. Alas , no one has commented. Although I did see a meme for the random cow that shows up in one scene that I’d been wondering about. Yes, these are the things I ponder. I have a life, just a “gift” to focus on what really matters in a movie. I notice you didn’t comment how Russell Crowe’s body made no sound when it hit the water. It’s things like that I think about. I have problems. Anyway, despite the many flaws, most of which you mentioned in a witty way , which kept me reading even after I realized it was not about the eyeball scene, I liked the movie and stage production. I’m a ball of must sometimes when it comes to musicals. Romcoms are another story. But I wanted to say I enjoyed your review immensely. I plan on reading more of your stuff. If there is more. I haven’t figured that out yet. I didn’t even know I had an existing word press account. I did quite love it and will pin it so people can read how perfect it is. -Leslie (just a medium amount of crazy)

  35. mslesliehamm says:

    Reblogged this on thoughtsfromafuturecatlady and commented:
    Best les Mis review ever

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      Hear, hear! Agreed. (With one qualification: Matt Walsh didn’t mention the miserable direction which to me is so incompetent as to belie Hooper’s any knowledge of directing a camera or actors at all.)

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      Buying a car????? What are you talking about here????? Is this a metaphor? If so, it stinks.

  39. Steve says:

    I loved Les Mis and I’m a man. It doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate art. It doesn’t mean that because I am a male, there must be guns, explosions, boobs, and cars for me to like a movie. Stop generalizing, because I am sure that are many men out there who like me, are ashamed to be put in the same standards as you. The sacrifice, the agony, justice, the metaphors, the life lessons, the love. All those elements are in this masterpiece. Your comment about the lyrics is ridiculous. What the heck did you expect? It’s the freaking french revolution, should the lyrics be like: ” I am so happy that I might be decapitated in the decapitated in the guillotine tomorroooow” ? Besides, there is a very good chance you cannot read either. Jean Valjean moves FIVE times in the story as explained by those big white letters in the transitions, sir. I am sorry you are that stupid and blind to take pleasure in the significant things. It is a shame.

    • eric byrne says:

      Thank you Steve for your comments,I agree entirely with you,I thought I was a lone voice in appreciating this film.

    • Skyscraper says:

      I am male and I greatly enjoy musicals as well, but this one bored me. It’s just opinion. Everyone’s allowed to have one and let’s leave it at that. If people are offended by Matt’s commentary, start a blog and defend Les Miserables.

  40. Evets Gib says:

    Have you ever attended an opera? Every word is sung. Your word smithing is clever, however.

  41. Austin Rosom says:

    Hahahaha wow this guy is so oblivious……

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    • Robert Blenheim says:

      What on earth did you stick a commercial in the middle of this discussion on “Les Miz”????

      Okay. I don’t live in California, but I’m making a note NOT to deal with your company. Ever. I encourage others to do the same.

  47. Richard says:

    I found review cause I was desperate to know that there war at least one other person who didn’t enjoy this filth. I didn’t see the movie, but honestly, the prospect repulses me. “But you can’t say anything unless you’ve seen it!” I don’t need to see it just as I don’t need to listen to Insane Clown Posse record to know it’s filth. Just as I don’t need to have sex with a goat to know bestiality isn’t for me. The fact that this movie is taken seriously is proof of the degenerate state of the movie industry. To the idiot who thinks guys who don’t like this need guns and explosions to be good. The Godfather and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly had guns and Apocalypse now had explosions.. So who gives a damn? Fact is, this movie is low grade filth. You proles will watch and love anything if it makes you feel intelligent. Singing doesn’t make it art, it makes somehow more irritating

    • Tom Way says:

      Here’s why you should watch it, Richard. Because you will never have laughed harder than you will once you endure this film and then re-read Matt’s review.

  48. O says:

    I love “Les Misérables”-franchise.
    Before now I could have sayed:
    Book – very good(and I know the plot holes they forgot to fill). An advice for all is to read the book because it’s very good and you will know the story and also it would have made easier to stand trough this one.
    Movies- in general good(all the movies even the 1995 rendition of this story),some even excellent. Look at 1998 version it’s pretty good and you’ll find it easier.
    Musical – in general good, some even excellent(2010 was a pretty good one and also you’ll find this easier)
    Now:
    This one is the first one I couldn’t stand to see it. I started watching but I almost couldn’t stand trough the entire thing.
    As a movie is bad(with a lot of plot holes and in general just not what I expect from a Les Miz movie. Also Crowe as a singing musical Javert is just a bad idea. It’s not because of his voice, it’s just that Crowe would have made a better Javert in a classical movie, maybe even an excellent one. The actors aren’t so terrible in it and I think they could have made a great movie if it wasn’t a musical one. )
    As a musical it is terrible(the singing and I don’t need to say more)
    As a musical movie= terrible + bad= let’s say bad
    A musical movie doesn’t need to sing all it’s lines(even the simple ones) because if it sing all it’s lines then it isn’t a movie musical it’s a musical and then you better be a great singer, or at least good.

  49. Sharon B says:

    I love your review, Matt. I don’t go to movies any more, I refuse to pay $40 for two tickets, a popcorn and two cokes. I’ll wait until it’s on the ridiculously expensive Directv (which at least gives my husband the NFL package, which btw I can’t stand to watch.) I’m not at all offended that you didn’t like Les Miserables. Mind you, I’ve never seen it… but does that really matter? I love several different ‘Pride and Prejudice’ shows, which my hubs cannot STAND, but we don’t get offended over who doesn’t like what. We accept that we each have our preferences and that’s okay. I am amused that some feel it necessary to disparage your OPINION, as if your OPINION is wrong and that it’s important that you know it’s wrong. I would suggest that anyone who is offended by this review, go write YOUR OWN review on YOUR OWN wordpress blog, rather than argue with someone who actually DID write a review. And let people have their own damn opinions. For heaven’s sake.

  50. mrz80 says:

    It’s not really a musical, because as Our Host points out in his thoroughly entertaining flaying of the cinematic magnum opus under scrutiny, in a musical one also encounters spoken dialogue. Since every single line is delivered with something akin (if only loosely akin, like a third cousin twice removed who lives two counties over) to a melody behind it, what we are dealing with here is more correctly tarred with the epithet of “opera”. Thus labeled, all the painful stuff now becomes artistic necessity, and elevates the film from “bad musical” to “average opera”, doesn’t it? 🙂

    • Robert Blenheim says:

      No. ‘Bad musical’ to ‘godawful opera.’ You start grouping this trash with Tristan und Isolde and La Nozze di Figaro’ and this clunker smells worse than a pile of filled huggies in a garbage dump.

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